How best to deal with abusive "Skangers/Scumbags"

az2wp0sye65487

Need some advice please......

Over the weekend, I had the unpleasant experience of having some teenage scumbag - showing off in front of his mates - scream abuse across the street at me out of nowhere. I was in the front garden of my house at the time and walked across the street to confront the little bo***x. I'd never seen him before, didn't recognise him from the area, and don't know where this came from.

There was no sign of him backing down, and it actually seemed as if he was looking for a fight. My first instinct was to beat the s**t out of him. I'm not a violent person, but I do know what i'd be capable of; especially against this little fecker! I'm also a big enough lad, and could have easily knocked this boy out. I had all the usual threats thrown at me - "you touch me and I'll get you killed" etc.. This made me more angry.

I was just about to lose my temper, but I had a second to think about what I was doing, 1. The fact that there were plenty of witnesses around, and 2. The fact that we were right in front of my house. This fecker and his scumbag mates know exactly where I live. Don't s**t on your own door step and all that..... So I turned around and walked away.

For the rest of the night I was raging, my blood was boiling, and I really regretted not hitting him.

What I want to know from you lot is:

• Did I do the right thing?
• Has anyone else had this sort of thing happen to them before?
• Should I have just done it then and there?
• Has anyone any suggestions on how I could have dealt with this differently?

Kinetic^

Ignore & walk away. Giving them the time of day is what they're looking for so they can rile you up even further.

Wurly

As you said, he was just a little scumbag so the abuse probably wasn't in any way personal.

Yes, its anooying but again as you said, he's just a little scumbag.

Best advice? Ignore, Ignore, Ignore.

He'l get tired of it then. If you make him more angry, you could get a brick through the window. So hitting him etc to make yourself less angry would so not be worth damage to your home or worse.

Seriously - ignore him. Not worth it.

P.s. - Assault is never good advice.

Big_Mac

Zaylee Proud Sandpaper wrote: »

What I want to know from you lot is:

• Did I do the right thing?

Unequivocally yes

• Has anyone else had this sort of thing happen to them before?

Yes. Best ignored

• Should I have just done it then and there?

No

Zaylee Proud Sandpaper wrote: »

• Has anyone any suggestions on how I could have dealt with this differently?

Very simple my friend. If you did hit him (Trust me, I'd have difficulty fighting the urge too) you would give him exactly what he wanted - an excuse. A lot of what they say is bull, but I really don't think its worth the risk calling their bluff. I have similar issues myself from time to time and I always ignore them. If you ignore them, they will simply go away - Fact!

I'm not trying to scaremonger here, but you don't know what they are capeable of. There are too many stories of houses being burned and cars set on fire by scumbags for no good reason other than 'I'll get you'. If you have a family or other people in your house, remember that your actions can have consequences for them too.

The best advice I can give is to ignore them, for everyone's sake, because you just don't know.........

az2wp0sye65487

Thanks for the quick replies everyone....

Another quick question: How do you deal with the rage and anger that builds up inside when this happens - I mean it literally took me hours to calm down afterwards.

Irishcrx

You did the right thing mate, getting yourself boiled up over these muppets aint worth it that's what they want you to do , only strike back when hit you never know what they'd do.

Example.
Coming out of a bar last year in Dublin beside connolly station me and 3 friends are confronted by a scumbag on a rager he starts randomly hitting people waiting to be hit back.

Now it wasn't him I was worried about it was the 4 other charactors in the shadows waiting for it to break out, he hit one of the lads busting his nose and walks over to me with a bull head on him spits on the ground and punch's me in the face barely moved me so I told him he hit like a woman and smiled at him, his second throw I took his arm and swung him to the ground and put my knee on the back of his neck and hyperextended his shoulder , his mates lost their bottle. I easily could have knocked the chap out but that would have made it worst, taking them down is best unless you've no choice and only whwn you CANNOT walk away.

Irishcrx

Zaylee Proud Sandpaper wrote: »

Thanks for the quick replies everyone....

Another quick question: How do you deal with the rage and anger that builds up inside when this happens - I mean it literally took me hours to calm down afterwards.

Think it's not worth it, breath, maybe take up kickboxing or something similar as well as teaching self defence and attack it can help with control and staying calm and situation handling..

MysticalSoul

Best to ignore. Also when they are with their mates they do tend to go the extra mile so to speak, as they like to show their friends how "cool" they are. I got loads of threats from a character on the DART one day for asking this guy not to smoke. This guy too was with his mates, and in all honesty, I was never so scared in all my life.

Big_Mac

Zaylee Proud Sandpaper wrote: »

Thanks for the quick replies everyone....

Another quick question: How do you deal with the rage and anger that builds up inside when this happens - I mean it literally took me hours to calm down afterwards.

Just like bad boys II ' Woo...saa...

The trick to it is, not to get angry or worked up in the first place. Ignore the twat. Geting angry is nearly as bad as hitting the cnut! You are still giving them what they want.

MysticalSoul

Zaylee Proud Sandpaper wrote: »

Thanks for the quick replies everyone....

Another quick question: How do you deal with the rage and anger that builds up inside when this happens - I mean it literally took me hours to calm down afterwards.

This mind sound a bit strange, but try putting on some gentle music, and/or even write about it to try and get it out of your system. Housework is also a great stress releaser - am not kidding.

az2wp0sye65487

irishamethyst wrote: »

This mind sound a bit strange, but try putting on some gentle music, and/or even write about it to try and get it out of your system. Housework is also a great stress releaser - am not kidding.

Yeah, that did sound a bit strange!!

No seriously though, thanks to everyone for the advice. I was in the middle of clearing out some rubbish from the back & shed so I was able to focus on that anyway for a while.

I'd love to meet the parents of these little f**kers.... see where they get it from. When I was that age, (I wouldn't have been like that in the first place) and I was approached by a bigger, older bloke I would have s**t myself and legged it!

Nevyn

I have found that certain types of music is off putting to them, I used to play Ramstien out the sitting room window at full blast.

If they are persistant start ringing the garda and take picutres of them and record the harasshment, ideal where they can't see you.

milod

Zaylee Proud Sandpaper wrote: »

How do you deal with the rage and anger that builds up inside when this happens - I mean it literally took me hours to calm down afterwards.

You've hit the nail on the head here - this is the most difficult bit - no man likes to feel impotent in the face of outright provocation and you spend hours going over and over the scenario in your head - what you should have said, what you should have done etc etc.

At the end of the day you can only use reason to reassure yourself that if we all behaved like scumbags, we'd have anarchy on the streets. I come into regular contact with arseholes, living as I do in Inchicore, and it now rolls like water off a duck's back.

I had to push my way through a wall of little scobies the entrance to Spar last week and was told "watch where you're going pal"

My response was "Shouldn't you be doing your Leaving cert? No?! ah well, enjoy life on the dole, loser..."

MysticalSoul

How would it be to make a complaint to your local guarda station? Even though nothing can be done, they will at least be in the know if there are bothersome people hanging around.

az2wp0sye65487

Thaedydal wrote: »

I have found that certain types of music is off putting to them, I used to play Ramstien out the sitting room window at full blast.

If they are persistant start ringing the garda and take picutres of them and record the harasshment, ideal where they can't see you.

Thanks Thaedydal, but its not an ongoing problem, it was a once off event, they don't hang around outside the house or anything, were just passing by when it happened.

Sephiroth_dude

There all big men in front of there friends,get them on there own and there a bunch of pussys.Your better off ignoring them though as was said before,gets them really frustrated when you ignore them :cool:.

topper75

Maybe this makes me a fascist - but I can't even stand the sight of them.

There was a bunch of them out in Killaloe yesterday creating a menacing tone in an environment when otherwise everybody was just enjoying the water and the sun.

At one point, one shouts to the others, referring to his accompice - "He tron (sic) a load a lucozade over me. He's only a scumbag." I failed to suppress a loud smirk at this majestic irony. The weasels.

Kazobel

Ignore them, it looks like one or two but getting in a fight starts a swarm and that's how they work, it's pure mob mentality and he wouldn't have behaved that way unless he was sure there was at least 10 others that would have jumped in if you started anything. When I was living in Blanch I use to get tormented by them because I always looked femine, I use to just ignore them because there were to many but one easter they were all pissed and stoned at 2 pm in the day and decided **** it and loads of them just bet the **** out of me for walking through a park, I got stood on and was tied to the back of a moped and dragged across a basketball court, out of the 14 people I identified one was getting charged and the rest were let off with cautions so I dropped it, otherwise they'd have killed me. It's just not worth it.

Sprouts

Theres only one thing these toe rags understand, they prey on what they view as a soft target. I know what I would do. Not advising anything though, I hope it blows over anyway and your ok.

LegacyUser

Kazobel wrote: »

Ignore them, it looks like one or two but getting in a fight starts a swarm and that's how they work, it's pure mob mentality and he wouldn't have behaved that way unless he was sure there was at least 10 others that would have jumped in if you started anything. When I was living in Blanch I use to get tormented by them because I always looked femine, I use to just ignore them because there were to many but one easter they were all pissed and stoned at 2 pm in the day and decided **** it and loads of them just bet the **** out of me for walking through a park, I got stood on and was tied to the back of a moped and dragged across a basketball court, out of the 14 people I identified one was getting charged and the rest were let off with cautions so I dropped it, otherwise they'd have killed me. It's just not worth it.

Sorry to hear about that!

To the OP, I know its hard, and at times it would wreck your head afterwards.

I lived in Clondalkin for a couple off years and had a couple off run ins from little scum turds like you mentioned, there great in numbers and to be honest they are a menace to society as a whole. And as you said, meet their parents, blah to that, as much as it is correct as everyone as mentioned regarding Ignoring them, it makes my blood boil that these exact scum will be parents some day in not to distant future, and as much as ignoring has an effect, calling the guards has none what soever.

Argh, It's a shame that law abiding people feel so helpless when subjected without warrant to this treatment... If life ain't difficult enough...

As for elevating rage afterwards, deep breathing man, Chi Chung..

colly10

Did I do the right thing?

Not in the begining. You shouldn't go near him. It's not that he's not afraid of you, it's that he knows that your smart enough not to hit him. You back down then and he ends up making you look like a fool.
After you made the mistake of going near him, you made the right decision to walk away. If you hit him you'd probably put him in hospital, his family and just about everyone who knows him would want revenge, kids would probably wreck your car and put bricks through your window, it could end in a situation where you'd have to move out.

Has anyone else had this sort of thing happen to them before?

Not personally really but it's nothing personal, you were just chosen randomly.

Should I have just done it then and there?

No, even if you were attacked, just defend, unless they don't know you, don't know where you live and theres no witnesses, even at that I wouldn't personally attack unless I felt that the person attacking me was strong enough to badly injure me (not likely with a teenager)

Has anyone any suggestions on how I could have dealt with this differently?

They're only little ****s, ignore it, there only looking for a reaction off you

Sephiroth_dude

topper75 wrote: »

Maybe this makes me a fascist - but I can't even stand the sight of them.

Well if that makes you a fascist,then im guilty of being one too then,cuz i cant stand the sight of some them either.