confused about girl

LegacyUser

just a quick one for you all out there.

Known this woman for about 5 years now. we see each other very seldom anymore as we are both busy people. 2 weeks ago she was in the local and we got chatting. she had taken my new fone number and i left. she text me about an hour later and we arranged to meet up later that night to go to a club. so we did.....

i brought her back to my place and we ended up sleeping together. we have been in regualr contact by text and email. we are having alot of fun. the only thing is that whenever i suggest going out for a meal or doing anthing she completely sidesteps the question.

whats going on ????

towel401

dunno. you have to ask her that yourself. how many times has she done this?

MysticalSoul

Sounds like she's playing you I would reckon. Someone to have fun with, but not someone to get serious with, IYSWIM.

RedXIV

Don't suggest then, be impulsive, buy tickets to a show, book something, something small but do it and if she still managed to back out of it, i reckon you def have someone just looking for fun.

Best of Luck

Red

Wurly

Hmm, it doesn't sound the best to me OP, sorry. But then, you haven't given much information.

All I can say is that, if you like someone, you're usually dying to see them again.

Do as Red says and don't suggest again. Let her suggest if she wants to. You've made enough moves imo to show you like her. Leave the ball in her court now.

Pain in the arse, I know. But better than making a dick of yourself.xx

Big_Mac

Perhaps she was lonely that night and it was just sex that suited her?

She may see you as F buddies?

Agree with Red., Be impulsive and just arrange something without asking

towel401

ya could just ask her when we get to meet up again. i wouldnt go buying tickets just like that could be a waste of money if she is good at thinking of excuses.

today i told this chick i was gonna be in england for 2 weeks and if she wanted to meet up but then she said she was going on a holiday for 2 and a half weeks. which is remotely possible but more likely its just not a very creative excuse.

Overheal

sounds like shes playing you for a boy toy. like Red says, just be assertive.

Predhead

This isn't a personal attack at you OP but people in general posting in Personal 'Issues' about things like this. ''I like this girl, but if tell her it might ruin our friendship'' etc. Are these real problems? Certainly a large percentage aren't. Life is about trial and error. Instead you've all sorts coming on here and posting any problem, no matter how minute, looking for an easy solution. Get on with your life and don't be afraid to make mistakes, and learn from them.

Rant over.

nacho libre

You are her "bit on the side". If a person is not a user and genuinely fond of someone they want to be with them as much as they can- not fobbing them off constantly.

Wagon

She's using you for sex. I think she sees you as nothing more than a big non-inflatable sex doll. I hate saying this but she could have a few other blokes like you on the go, happened to me before. You can either:

(a) Use her back and degrade her with carious cleaning utensils.

(b) End this before you get sucked in further mate. You've asked her out and are posting here because you're confused and a little upset that she won't accept. If your developing feelings for this lady, end this now.

RedXIV

Predhead wrote: »

This isn't a personal attack at you OP but people in general posting in Personal 'Issues' about things like this. ''I like this girl, but if tell her it might ruin our friendship'' etc. Are these real problems? Certainly a large percentage aren't. Life is about trial and error. Instead you've all sorts coming on here and posting any problem, no matter how minute, looking for an easy solution. Get on with your life and don't be afraid to make mistakes, and learn from them.

Rant over.

This is an accurate post in some parts but a bit unfair in others. For quite a few people the "relationship or friendship" conundrum is actually pretty headwrecking and due to their inexperience in these situations they might actually believe there is an option they have missed. I do agree that being afraid to make mistakes will hinder your learning process but its not ridiculous to look up advice first

Counter-rant over

Red Hand

towel401 wrote: »

ya could just ask her when we get to meet up again. i wouldnt go buying tickets just like that could be a waste of money if she is good at thinking of excuses.

today i told this chick i was gonna be in england for 2 weeks and if she wanted to meet up but then she said she was going on a holiday for 2 and a half weeks. which is remotely possible but more likely its just not a very creative excuse.

+1

Yeah, looks like she doesn't want anything that serious (yet). Someone she wants for a bit of a fling?

LegacyUser

I think i will just leave it to her. i wont text or mail. ill wait for her to make the move. life is too short to be played with.

all i can say is ...... NEXT!!!

:P

SarahSassy

confusedman wrote: »

I think i will just leave it to her. i wont text or mail. ill wait for her to make the move. life is too short to be played with.

You are playing her by doing this... YE are as bad as each other.

LegacyUser

SarahSassy wrote: »

You are playing her by doing this... YE are as bad as each other.

What am i ment to do then Sarah, keep texting or ringing her and all the while lose my self respect and confidence. i dont think so.

any one else agree?

Plek Trum

Why not just ask her??
"is this as far as you want things to go.. are you happy with just this..?"

RedXIV

confusedman wrote: »

What am i ment to do then Sarah, keep texting or ringing her and all the while lose my self respect and confidence. i dont think so.

any one else agree?

In fairness mate, she has a point. Do something decisive and invite her to it. Let that be it, if she doesn't show, she doesn't show and move on.

LegacyUser

RedXIV wrote: »

In fairness mate, she has a point. Do something decisive and invite her to it. Let that be it, if she doesn't show, she doesn't show and move on.

I know what you are saying Red. can that not be construde as being too forward and presumptuous???

plus i dont think i would like to be rejected that way. i.e going somewhere and waiting for her if she doesnt turn up. at least i know that she isnt interested if she doesnt try to contact me again.

unless she is doing the same thing as me which means we are both in trouble

RedXIV

confusedman wrote: »

I know what you are saying Red. can that not be construde as being too forward and presumptuous???

plus i dont think i would like to be rejected that way. i.e going somewhere and waiting for her if she doesnt turn up. at least i know that she isnt interested if she doesnt try to contact me again.

unless she is doing the same thing as me which means we are both in trouble

well it can be put down as forward and presumptions i suppose but to be honest, i'd rather spend a night on my own in the pub than be wasting a few weeks or months waiting for a girl to make a decision. I had to do this myself recently so i know what it's like but believe me, if you plan something and she doesn't show, the sooner you get realise she's not interested. by no contacting her, you're leaving yourself with hope that she will contact you.

You will not get over her properly this way.

It sounds very much cut and dried, i know but trust me, you're better off finding out once and for all so you can move on with your life

Best of luck though