Bi-Lemma

LostControl

Hi I was looking for some sound advice on an issue I have here. I have a girlfriend of 3 years, we have one kid together. Now although Im straight I have Bi tendancies and have 'experimented' with men in the past, not to be too blunt but I have met up with guys for purposes of oral pleasure.

I do not want a relationship with a man, I am perfectly happy with my girlfriend but I cant get over these urges I get sometimes for example I prefer to masturbate to gay porn, or at least straight porn that has good looking men(muscular skinhead types). I guess you could call it a fetish of some kind.

Its hard to explain (no pun intended) but I just cant get over being attracted to men as well as women, even though I've no interest in being in a man on man relationship.

Has anyone else ever been in a relationship with this type of dilemma, maybe not but maybe give me your thoughts, no matter how brutal.

DubArk

Can I ask you a question how can you call yourself straight?

I mean you must know the answer to your question!? Are you not bi if you’re looking for a label? Otherwise you wouldn’t be looking for oral with guys as you are. Its’ easier I suppose for you to be in denial as life can be difficult if placed with the dilemmas that are in front of you, especially if there are others to consider such as your girlfriend and your kid.

Honesty is a good start I would imagine, easy for me to say of course as I’ve always been sure of who I am as far as my sexuality but I do remember trying to brush it under the carpet and making myself very unhappy.

Maybe if you face up to whom you are you’ll be able to move on in the relationship that you’re in now and not be preoccupied with what might be. All of us who are in relationships have fantasy’s weather Straight, Gay, Lesbian or Bi. But to have a relationship that’s a success they stay just a fantasy.

I hope you find your answer.

LostControl

Your reply seems to be filled with one of hate and anger. Just to set the record straight, anything that I had tried with a man was long before my girlfriend and had received tests after that time in my life.

By some peoples definitions I would be deemed Bi - except I no longer have anything to do with men, I just enjoy the fantasy and would not act upon a male encounter again as I have responsibilities now.

I am not in denial, I am fully aware of who I am as an individual. There is no moving on in the relationship to me done sir, as far as Im concerned, anything I've done in the past, shall stay in the past, theres absolutely no reason in the world to mention it to my gf, it would only upset her I'm sure.

I dont think you quite understood my post, it was not that I'm confused with my sexuality at all, I just pleasure myself to looking at photos of men. I dont want a male relationship at all. I was just looking for advice from someone whom ever had a similar experience.

Regards DubArk for your reply to the post anyway.

Fatloss08

speaking as a straight male

ur saying what ever happens in the past stays there ok fair enough , but lets say u hadnt got a gf or kid ( just hypothetical ) would you meet up with men then ??

answer urself honestly , if you had no responsibilities would you just go date women ?????????

BisexualLad

LostControl wrote: »

Hi I was looking for some sound advice on an issue I have here. I have a girlfriend of 3 years, we have one kid together. Now although Im straight I have Bi tendancies and have 'experimented' with men in the past, not to be too blunt but I have met up with guys for purposes of oral pleasure.

I do not want a relationship with a man, I am perfectly happy with my girlfriend but I cant get over these urges I get sometimes for example I prefer to masturbate to gay porn, or at least straight porn that has good looking men(muscular skinhead types). I guess you could call it a fetish of some kind.

Its hard to explain (no pun intended) but I just cant get over being attracted to men as well as women, even though I've no interest in being in a man on man relationship.

Has anyone else ever been in a relationship with this type of dilemma, maybe not but maybe give me your thoughts, no matter how brutal.

Hi.I am also Bi.It's ok.Most bi's are sexually attracted rather than emotionally attracted.Although I don't agree with yuo chating on your girlfriend.

BuffyBot

I'm not clear what you actually want. Validation? Only you can decide if you are ok to do what you are doing while you live your "normal" life with your girlfriend etc.

Kazobel

LostControl wrote: »

Your reply seems to be filled with one of hate and anger. Just to set the record straight, anything that I had tried with a man was long before my girlfriend and had received tests after that time in my life.

By some peoples definitions I would be deemed Bi - except I no longer have anything to do with men, I just enjoy the fantasy and would not act upon a male encounter again as I have responsibilities now.

I am not in denial, I am fully aware of who I am as an individual. There is no moving on in the relationship to me done sir, as far as Im concerned, anything I've done in the past, shall stay in the past, theres absolutely no reason in the world to mention it to my gf, it would only upset her I'm sure.

I dont think you quite understood my post, it was not that I'm confused with my sexuality at all, I just pleasure myself to looking at photos of men. I dont want a male relationship at all. I was just looking for advice from someone whom ever had a similar experience.

Regards DubArk for your reply to the post anyway.

I'm sure, given the opportunity, she'd beg to differ because I know I'd hate to waste any amount of my life on a guy that's unsure of his sexualty oh and the fact that you refer to your child as a "kid" shows disassociation, you labled your child rather than give them an identity. Most other parents would say "One son"/"One daughter" but you don't, "Son"/"Daughter" are words of identity, it gives your child a personallity no matter how small but "kid" is a discription of an object, it's a description that adds no emotion which is sort of sad. That's not parenting, that's being there for the sake of it. All you're really looking for is validation and have already made your choice, you just don't want to admit that.

unreggd

LostControl wrote: »

I dont think you quite understood my post, it was not that I'm confused with my sexuality at all

Your play on the word Dilemma made it seem so

So really, whats the point of this thread?

Kazobel wrote: »

All you're really looking for is validation and have already made your choice, you just don't want to admit that.

+1

LostControl

What a bunch of losers. I just put the post up to see how many bigotted answers I'd get on the top as Im doing a survey. Its typical of the posters on this thread that they see everything from one point of view. Every reply in this board has been extremely negative, and its funny how all the 'straight' people spend their time having a go at people in the 'Gay' threads, quite pathetic.

And Kazobel I dont know what your game is, your the most rotten of the lot. I think your a psycho and probably single and lonely coz no one wants you, it sounds that way and your probably on this forum 24/7 coz you've no friends.

To Fatloss08, to answer your question, if I had the choice to do what I did in the past, of course not. It was me simply being curious and given the choice no I would never do that again, its a closed chapter in my life. How many people can honestly say they've never had some kind of feeling for the same sex, they may just not want to admit it. I however had the guts to experiment to see if it was truly for me or not. Yes I would date women if I was single, only because its my preference and also gay relationships dont last as long as straight ones, sorry but its a fact you know. Of course there are long time gay partners but its not very rare.

Im really angered by kazobel, what sort of freak are you to question my relationship with my child, I used the word 'kid', yeah so what, do you think Im gonna post him name up here, get a clue. I love my son more than anything and if you were in front of me I'd floor you.

To BisexualLad - thanks for the most reasonable post, in my post bilad I did specifically say that anything I had done with men was like 4 years previous to ever meeting my girlfriend, and I have never cheated on her. Yes I please myself to bi/gay porn but its a fetish, it doesnt mean I want to cheat on her, its not worth it, is it. Cheers.

Alright well thats it, I wont irritate myself anymore with wasting my time on here, to everyone excluding Dubark and Kazobel, thanks for you input. My words to Kazobel might not be nice and probably will get me banned but I dont care because I hope he/she knows what a pathetic snake she is for what she said, obviously no life experience.

conversation ended ---

Nevyn

Why does being bi or sorta bi come into this at all, people with monosexual gender preference shun all others that they are attracted to sexually when they settled down into a monogamous relationship, what makes that any different for a bi person when they choose to be in a monogamous relationship ?

Nothing they do the same thing.

Why are you looking to find away to stop being attracted to people who are not your partner ? It's something that all people regardless of sexual gender preference have to deal with and learn not to act on.

Could it be now you have a female partner and are looking for that relationship to last you feel that you have to assume the role of a heterosexual male to be the man in the relationship and to be a Father ? and that means trying to leave behind your bi ness
some how ?

DubArk

LostControl wrote: »

Your reply seems to be filled with one of hate and anger. Just to set the record straight, anything that I had tried with a man was long before my girlfriend and had received tests after that time in my life.

By some peoples definitions I would be deemed Bi - except I no longer have anything to do with men, I just enjoy the fantasy and would not act upon a male encounter again as I have responsibilities now.

I am not in denial, I am fully aware of who I am as an individual. There is no moving on in the relationship to me done sir, as far as Im concerned, anything I've done in the past, shall stay in the past, theres absolutely no reason in the world to mention it to my gf, it would only upset her I'm sure.

I dont think you quite understood my post, it was not that I'm confused with my sexuality at all, I just pleasure myself to looking at photos of men. I dont want a male relationship at all. I was just looking for advice from someone whom ever had a similar experience.

Regards DubArk for your reply to the post anyway.

If you really didn't want anyone to answer as honestly or a brutal as you had requested then why did you post? :rolleyes:

I only said it as I saw it! As far as me been full of hate and anger, that’s so far from the truth!

You really shouldn’t waste people’s time with such posts if you’re not prepared to engage in debate and discussion from the offset.

unreggd

LostControl wrote: »

What a bunch of losers

Real mature

I just put the post up to see how many bigotted answers I'd get

Great use of your, and everyone elses time
[Translation: Wanted validation, on a rant because you didnt get the answers you wanted]

its funny how all the 'straight' people spend their time having a go at people in the 'Gay' threads, quite pathetic

You do realise where you posted and what you've been doin???

It was me simply being curious

Sorry, but i think thats pure BS. You dont hafta to try somethin to know you want/enjoy it

Yes I please myself to bi/gay porn but its a fetish

Thats hardly a fetish, start facin the facts!

anotherlostie

Unbelievable that someone would put up a thread and then 'admit' is was all a ruse when people didn't tell him what he wanted to hear. I smell a very skanky rat!

Kazobel

LostControl wrote: »

What a bunch of losers. I just put the post up to see how many bigotted answers I'd get on the top as Im doing a survey. Its typical of the posters on this thread that they see everything from one point of view. Every reply in this board has been extremely negative, and its funny how all the 'straight' people spend their time having a go at people in the 'Gay' threads, quite pathetic.

And what would be a Positive reply? everybody tells you to go out and get a blow job totally ignoring the fact you have a girlfriend and child? Admit it all you were looking for is validation to do that and assumed "well it's a gay forum and everybody knows they all fcuk around so surely they'll give me that validation". Wheather the repliers were gay or straight is irrelevant to their reply, they gave a reply that you just didn't want to hear and that's why your p!ssed off now.

LostControl wrote: »

And Kazobel I dont know what your game is, your the most rotten of the lot. I think your a psycho and probably single and lonely coz no one wants you, it sounds that way and your probably on this forum 24/7 coz you've no friends.

LostControl wrote: »

Im really angered by kazobel, what sort of freak are you to question my relationship with my child, I used the word 'kid', yeah so what, do you think Im gonna post him name up here, get a clue. I love my son more than anything and if you were in front of me I'd floor you.

LostControl wrote: »

Alright well thats it, I wont irritate myself anymore with wasting my time on here, to everyone excluding Dubark and Kazobel, thanks for you input. My words to Kazobel might not be nice and probably will get me banned but I dont care because I hope he/she knows what a pathetic snake she is for what she said, obviously no life experience.

conversation ended ---

Be still my beating heart, you know me so well, I think I may have found my soul-mate here guys, I can feel the love from here . The only reason Bisexuallad got a thanks is because he's the only one that was justifying you but do want the dirty truth LostControl? You see the discription you gave up there of me in the top quote? that'll be you within a year if you don't cop the fcuk on. Now, is that enough validation for you?

DubArk

LostControl wrote: »

conversation ended ---

It never even started!!