Following up after getting number

robo1

Does anyone have any particular guidelines for following up after asking someone for their number on a night out? e.g. how long to leave it, whether to call or text, suggestions for first date, whether to arrange to meet up midweek or for weekend etc

I wouldn't usually have thought too much about it but the last time I asked someone for their number I called two days later. Phonecall went fine but she was heading away for the weekend so I said I would talk to her next week. The next week I sent a text but never got a reply. I also sent a follow up text just to make sure but again no reply. Strange as she seemed genuinely interested when I asked for her number.

I'm not looking to rush into anything nor am I looking to play games. Just want to meet up and if things go well follow on from there.

Cathmandooo

Did you just get someone elses number? I say ring them the next day if you're into them. Ask them to meet up whenever suits both of you, I'd say if you both like each other then the sooner the better. It's not a good sign if theyre not available to meet for a while, you can always make time if you like a person.

Just dont hound them with texts. Texts are crap. Phone calls ftw.

Abi

Cathooo wrote: »

Did you just get someone elses number? I say ring them the next day if you're into them. ... Just dont hound them with texts. Texts are crap. Phone calls ftw.

I agree, following day. Anything more than that and you are falling into the game-playing area. I half agree with the call / text thing. Calls are better, but it depends on the kind of person you are dealing with. Some feel a bit rabbit in the head-lights when called off-guard.

But def the next day.

Ginny

Do not play games, do not go by rules, if you like someone call them as soon as you want to, but outside stalkerish limits obviously...:D

robo1

Ok thanks for the replies. It seems the general thought is the sooner the better.

What about a suggestion for first date? Dinner would be the obvious choice. How does simply going for a few drinks sound? To me it would be a bit a more of a relaxed atmosphere but any other suggestions would be welcome.

Cathmandooo

Personally I prefer the few drinks option. It's much easier to say yes to once she likes to go for a drink. It's easier to share the payment than a meal is and you can have a good chat and get to know each other.

Ginny

For me Dinner on a first date is a no no, its a bit too much, i'd rather it was more relaxed and less formal, drinks or a coffee i suppose.

iPoker

Cathooo wrote: »

Did you just get someone elses number? I say ring them the next day if you're into them. Ask them to meet up whenever suits both of you, I'd say if you both like each other then the sooner the better. It's not a good sign if theyre not available to meet for a while, you can always make time if you like a person.

Just dont hound them with texts. Texts are crap. Phone calls ftw.

standard rule is call her when you get home from the club....if she doesn't call you back after you're 6th call, leave a message calling her a bitch and a whore, and go to bed. that's standard.

iPoker

robo1 wrote: »

Ok thanks for the replies. It seems the general thought is the sooner the better.

What about a suggestion for first date? Dinner would be the obvious choice. How does simply going for a few drinks sound? To me it would be a bit a more of a relaxed atmosphere but any other suggestions would be welcome.

first date dinner is for retarded dicks that are already planning to meet her parents. first date in Coppers would be relatively standards.

iPoker

Cathooo wrote: »

Personally I prefer the few drinks option. It's much easier to say yes to once she likes to go for a drink. It's easier to share the payment than a meal is and you can have a good chat and get to know each other.

if she offers to get the first drink, go for it. don't forget, if total number of drinks are an odd number, she will pay for first and last. always a bonus. further, after 5 drinks, insist it is her round when in fact it is yours. if she calls it, just claim a mistake, or alternatively call her a tight bitch, and walk, or more professionally, if in Coppers, pick up some other skank. that's standard.

gabgab

The call her a bitch and a whore on the sixth call actually made me nearly spit out my drink, HILARIOUS :D

moco

Someone got my number on Sunday and didn't text til this evening. That's a bit long in my opinion!

SarahSassy

moco wrote: »

Someone got my number on Sunday and didn't text til this evening. That's a bit long in my opinion!

Nope it could be worse. Dont start playing games with him. Text him back when you can / are ready.

moco

SarahSassy wrote: »

Nope it could be worse. Dont start playing games with him. Text him back when you can / are ready.

Ah yea I did, I couldn't play games even if I wanted to! Supposed to be meeting him tomorrow night so we'll see how it goes.:cool:

iPoker

moco wrote: »

Someone got my number on Sunday and didn't text til this evening. That's a bit long in my opinion!

sounds like you were way down the line!

SarahSassy

Enjoy tomorrow night and dont look too much into it... You'll know a lot more from his behaviour tomorrow and after that....

moco

iPoker wrote: »

sounds like you were way down the line!

Yea, looks like it!

misswex

Just another spin Moco maybe he was nervous, like the original poster here and asked a couple of friends who stupidly told him to play it cool and to not text for a while so he did. When he did text he immediately wanted to meet up so he obviously likes you.

moco

misswex wrote: »

Just another spin Moco maybe he was nervous, like the original poster here and asked a couple of friends who stupidly told him to play it cool and to not text for a while so he did. When he did text he immediately wanted to meet up so he obviously likes you.

:)I'll post tomorrow how it goes, that's if he doesn't cancel!

Black Swan

robo1 wrote: »

Does anyone have any particular guidelines for following up after asking someone for their number on a night out?

I'm not looking to rush into anything nor am I looking to play games. Just want to meet up and if things go well follow on from there.

Phone her soon after, and no texting. Chat some. See what she's in to. Taking it slow at first is normally the best, like "Let's meet for coffee" (or lunch), or whatever. Everyone's different. Some might go for a drink, or dinner-movie, whereas others would not. Chat with her. Ask her. Find out...

sunnyside

I'd recommend sending a text very soon after getting the number. Just say something fairly neutral like "Great night wasn't it?" "Just home now, had a great night". Hopefully she'll reply and then ring her back instead of too much texting.

I've had dinner on a first date and it was great but I'm not really recommending that because it would be really awkward if you weren't comfortable in one anothers company and the conversation wasn't flowing.

Drinks or coffee is fine but in my opinion the guy should pay on the first date. Women don't like men who are mean.

If it's going well ask her if she'd like to do this again sometime or if she'd like to go for dinner next week. If you do that half way through the first date it cuts out the game-playing.

moco

misswex wrote: »

Just another spin Moco maybe he was nervous, like the original poster here and asked a couple of friends who stupidly told him to play it cool and to not text for a while so he did. When he did text he immediately wanted to meet up so he obviously likes you.

My night went well, he took so long to text cos he hadn't saved my number properly in his phone and had to get it again off my friend. She took a while getting back to him.:cool::)

Dragan

sunnyside wrote: »

Drinks or coffee is fine but in my opinion the guy should pay on the first date. Women don't like men who are mean.

What if you ask them out?:)

sunnyside

sunnyside wrote:

Drinks or coffee is fine but in my opinion the guy should pay on the first date. Women don't like men who are mean.

I'm sure men don't like gold diggers either

TeletextPear

i think going for a drink is fine for first date, dinner is a bit formal. i think id lean more towards texting after you get someones number, id be a bit caught off guard if someone called me after just getting my number, texts are more relaxed and theres no fear of awkward silences

Rozabeez

Waaaah, he didn't call, etc etc.

Pfft, men.

CCCP^

3 days like in Swingers. You are so money baby.

iMax

From Swingers (Well worth a watch)

TRENT
... you're money...

SUE
... you're so ****in mmmoney.

TRENT
Now go over there and get those digits.

SUE
You're money.

TRENT
(pulling him aside, dead
serious)
Now when you talk to her, I don't want
you to be the guy in the PG-13 movie that
everyone's pulling for. I want you to be
the guy in the rated R movie who you're
not sure if you like.

Mike nods and, energized by the bombardment, crosses back to
the bar and right into the fray.

Trent and Sue rejoin the other swingers.

Swinger's P.O.V. of Mike decisively engaging her in
conversation.

She laughs.

Out comes the pen and the cocktail napkin. Bingo.

Mike crosses back to the swingers' table and, using his body
to shield Nikki's view, pretends to rip the napkin. This
breaks the guys up.

Mike sits down and, after admiring the blotchy numerals,
delicately folds the napkin and pockets it.

TRENT
See, baby. It's not that hard.

CHARLES
818?

MIKE
310.

Everyone reacts favorably to this area code.

MIKE
How long do I wait to call?

TRENT
A day.

MIKE
Tomorrow?

TRENT
No...

SUE
... Tomorrow, then a day.

TRENT
... Yeah.

MIKE
So, two days?

TRENT
Yeah. I guess you could call it that.

SUE
Definitely. Two days. That's the
industry standard...

TRENT
(to Sue. shop talk)
... I used to wait two days. Now
everyone waits two days. Three days is
kinda money now, don't you think?

SUE
... Yeah. But two's enough not to look
anxious...

TRENT
Yeah, but three days is kinda the
money...

MIKE
(interrupting sarcastically)
Why don't I just wait three weeks and
tell her I was cleaning out my wallet and
found her number...

CHARLES
... then ask where you met her...

MIKE
Yeah, I'll tell her I don't remember and
then I'll ask what she looks like.
(pause)
Then I'll ask if we ****ed. How's that,
Tee? Is that "the money"?

The guys laugh.

TRENT
Laugh all you want, but if you call to
soon you can scare off a nice baby who's
ready to party.

SUE
Don't listen to him. You call whenever
it feels right to you.

MIKE
How long are you guys gonna wait to call
your honeys?

TRENT & SUE
Six days.

Rozabeez

Fine, I'll wait one more day. But after that, fire in his petrol hut.

sunnyside

Dragan wrote: »

What if you ask them out?:)

Good question. I've never asked a man out and have no plans to but in that situation I guesse the female should pay. I have no problem paying for things, I don't like women who are mean any more than men who are.

Cinamon Girl

I think a lot of men like to do the asking out and are not keen on women doing the chasing! Am I right or wrong on this?

moco

Just on the texting thing..should I leave it up to the guy to text first at the start?

Like I mean he said on Sunday he'd text me during the week, which he did on Sunday evening and Tuesday night. I was thinking I might text him tonight. Should I? Or Should I let him do most of it at the start?

I'm kinda out of practise

Dragan

moco wrote: »

Just on the texting thing..should I leave it up to the guy to text first at the start?

Like I mean he said on Sunday he'd text me during the week, which he did on Sunday evening and Tuesday night. I was thinking I might text him tonight. Should I? Or Should I let him do most of it at the start?

I'm kinda out of practise

I would suggest you text them as and when you want to. I don't see the point in ever questioning "should i text them".....it's about whether you want to, or don't want to.

Why establish communication around some imaginary rules when anything that develops will then be based on something different?

Rob_l

Dragan wrote: »

I would suggest you text them as and when you want to. I don't see the point in ever questioning "should i text them".....it's about whether you want to, or don't want to.

Why establish communication around some imaginary rules when anything that develops will then be based on something different?

I hate the idea of rules for this sort of thing, there are no rules, thankfully the EU has yet to regulate when and how often you text someone after getting their number

Didnt Hitch teach you guys anything? "Rule number 1: There are none"

moco

Yea, I'm not talking about actual rules though. I'm not explaining myself very well!:o I'll just text him later and be done with it.

Dragan

moco wrote: »

Yea, I'm not talking about actual rules though. I'm not explaining myself very well!:o I'll just text him later and be done with it.

Thats the ticket! When i get a text of a lass i like to think it's as simple as because she wanted to text me. Gives a nice warm fuzzy feeling inside.

Rozabeez

¬_¬ Its been a week, f*cker.

SheRa

moco wrote: »

Just on the texting thing..should I leave it up to the guy to text first at the start?

Like I mean he said on Sunday he'd text me during the week, which he did on Sunday evening and Tuesday night. I was thinking I might text him tonight. Should I? Or Should I let him do most of it at the start?

I'm kinda out of practise

Im glad it seems to be going well:). Well he's made the effort to text you, so Im sure that he'd appreciate a text from you. I know that you dont want to fall into the trap of being too eager, but you can tie yourself up in knots if you keep score track of who texted who last.

Enjoy:).

Star Lord

moco wrote: »

Just on the texting thing..should I leave it up to the guy to text first at the start?

No, you should text him back and don't play games.

Like I mean he said on Sunday he'd text me during the week, which he did on Sunday evening and Tuesday night. I was thinking I might text him tonight. Should I? Or Should I let him do most of it at the start?

Yes you should, what people mean by saying there are no rules, there is no "the guy should..." there is no "wait x number of days/hours/minutes".
If you like the guy, if you wanna text him, then text him whenever you want to.

Guys if you get a girls number and you like her, text her that night with something simple like "Great night, hope you got home safe!" or something to that effect. Then call the next day if you're interested.

Pen1987

Cinamon Girl wrote: »

I think a lot of men like to do the asking out and are not keen on women doing the chasing! Am I right or wrong on this?

Wrong. It should be a fifty/fifty thing. If ask a girl for her number I'll text her when we part company so she has mine, just something simple like 'enjoyed meeting you, you seem fun, talk to you soon', then the next day/night I'll follow it up, we have a chat etc... following that I expect them to initiate the next contact... if they do that then I'll call them and arrange to meet. If she doesnt text me after I've text her the first time I take it that shes not interested and leave it be. That would be a standard ol' interaction following a getting of numbers...

If I get someones number and send them the text after we part company then she texts me the next day/night before I text her I know shes actually into me and not just texting back because shes polite. Much preferable, now we both know were both into each other because I put myself out there to ask her for her number, and she risked not getting a reply from me by texting me first for a chat.

Dragan

"So, when are you going to ask me for my number?......because i know you want to."

It work on me. Gotta love confidence.

Pen1987

Dragan wrote: »

Gotta love confidence.

dam right, makes attraction grow way quicker than any short skirt or low-cut top.

Unless theyre over confident. Then its just annoying.

Pen1987

Pen1987 wrote: »

dam right, makes attraction grow way quicker than any short skirt or low-cut top.

Unless theyre over confident. Then its just annoying.

Yea negative on the lovin themselves and knowing how hot they are.....


Confidence is very sexy though. Same way women love confidence and hate arrogance in a man I think lads feel the same. Nothing worse than the 10 who knows it and acts like her sh1t doesnt stink.... i HATE girls like that.

moco

SheRa wrote: »

Im glad it seems to be going well:). Well he's made the effort to text you, so Im sure that he'd appreciate a text from you. I know that you dont want to fall into the trap of being too eager, but you can tie yourself up in knots if you keep score track of who texted who last.

Enjoy:).

Thanks, yea going very well so far, he's lovely.:o

Rozabeez

(: text teh wimminz...asap! Rulez ftl.

LadyE

Rozabeez wrote: »

(: text teh wimminz...asap! Rulez ftl.

Totally agree. Game playing ftl..totally hate it.

moco

Ok so I was out at the weekend with him and he said on Sunday he'd text me during the week. It's Wednesday now and I've heard nothing. Last week when he said he'd text during the week he did on the Tuesday.

Should I just presume he's not interested now or is there any way I could get away with texting him first without looking desperate??:o

Pen1987

jus text him. As far as I can see you havent started a text convo with him yet, hes probably wondering if youre interested in him by now seen as hes had to do all the work text-wise so far.

moco

Pen1987 wrote: »

jus text him. As far as I can see you havent started a text convo with him yet, hes probably wondering if youre interested in him by now seen as hes had to do all the work text-wise so far.

That's because he said he'd text me though!! I don't want to look like a desperado by not waiting for him to text when he said he would.

It's making me feel like he's not interested.

Plus I did text him last Thursday and didn't get a reply til the next morning cos he was asleep. It was torture waiting all evening for a text that never came!


If you said you'd text someone but they texted you first would you not think they were a bit pushy or something?

God I hate all this crap.:(

LadyE

moco wrote: »

That's because he said he'd text me though!! I don't want to look like a desperado by not waiting for him to text when he said he would.

It's making me feel like he's not interested.

Plus I did text him last Thursday and didn't get a reply til the next morning cos he was asleep. It was torture waiting all evening for a text that never came!


If you said you'd text someone but they texted you first would you not think they were a bit pushy or something?

God I hate all this crap.:(

I think maybe your over analysising this.

Would you be forward enough to say to him "are you interested or not becaus I feel like your kinda wasting my time"?

The last guy I was seeing, I fricken drove myself mad with this, he acted very keen when we were together, but he would never ever return my calls, or texts..it pissed me off and I felt like I was constantly waiting around for him. It was fricken torture. When he'd say he call, he never would and it made me feel like ****. I kept it going as long as it did because we did have a great time together..but it wasnt healthy at all the state I was in between dates (I sound like a loony but Im sure the girls know what I mean!).

Ask yourself, is he really worth the trouble or are you better cutting your loses?

If the former, ask him what the story is, if the latter: You know what to do :cool: