Want to be his friend.

SexySoundGirl

I know this guy and i think he is an incredibly cool,smart witty etc.He's always out having a good time and i'd like to join in.

But....here is the problem.I don't have many friends and i came on waaaaayyyy too strong! Now iv'e scared him off and he is avoiding me like the plague. How can I gain his friendship.He is good friends with my best mate but he tries to keep us apart!

Help!

MagicMarker

SexySoundGirl wrote: »

I know this guy and i think he is an incredibly cool,smart witty etc.He's always out having a good time and i'd like to join in.

But....here is the problem.I don't have many friends and i came on waaaaayyyy too strong! Now iv'e scared him off and he is avoiding me like the plague. How can I gain his friendship.He is good friends with my best mate but he tries to keep us apart!

Help!

Do you only want to be his friend? If so, leave it be and let time do the working and eventually whatever happened will be forgotten about and you can gradually get to know him.

If you actually want to be more than a friend, then i say leave well alone, because if he's avoiding you now then there's not a whole lot of hope for anything more to happen.

highlydebased

Unfortunately I'm like that too...its certainly not the best way to be at all

try just talkin small talk with him for a while and take it quite slow.....

SexySoundGirl

Yeah just friends he's got a girl.

RedXIV

If ya came on too strong, then you have one of two options

1) Back off for a bit, and don't put him under any pressure to talk to you, make things as natural as possible.

2) Tell him your original intentions. It's possible that he'll calm down an awful lot if you explain that you thought he was a fun person and would be good fun to hang out with, full stop.

I'd recommend number 2 myself because depending on how much of a shock you gave him, clearing the air would probably be the best option

jellie

why do you so badly want to be friends with this guy? if its just friends youre after im sure theres plenty of other fun people around. seems odd that you want to friends with HIM specifically yet you say its just for friendship

MIN2511

sar84 wrote: »

why do you so badly want to be friends with this guy? if its just friends youre after im sure theres plenty of other fun people around. seems odd that you want to friends with HIM specifically yet you say its just for friendship

I have to agree with Sar84 because it does seem like you are trying too hard.. And if you are not interested in him(sexually) then it really shouldn't bother you.
And as for your best friend(maybe a chat telling him/her how you feel-neglected) and see what happens from there.
Some human beings take frienship way too serious, one thing you should always have at the back of your mind "NEVER TRUST ANOTHER HUMAN BEING 100%" because you end up getting disappointed! And no one is perfect, the said best friend might be liking this guy more than you at the minute-no crime in that, it's just human nature

Buy a book, do something to keep you busy

Liam Byrne

Said best friend might also be a good mate of his and - given that you admit you came on "waaaay too strong", he might have decided that he wants to keep her around as a friend, and she doesn't want you to scare him away by coming on strong again so she goes along with it...

Everyone's been in a situation where two friends of theirs don't get on, and they have to handle it as best they can.....

Leave it lie for a bit and see how it goes.....

Aurora Borealis

Friendship is a more organic thing and can't really be pushed on someone.
Are you sure friendship is all you really want here? Would it still be all you wanted if he was unattached?

Miss Fluff

sar84 wrote: »

why do you so badly want to be friends with this guy? if its just friends youre after im sure theres plenty of other fun people around. seems odd that you want to friends with HIM specifically yet you say its just for friendship

+1. You obviously really fancy this guy OP right?

LegacyUser

You clearly fancy him or you wouldn't be so bothered about being his friend. If he has a girlfriend then just back off, it will never be a real friendship if you have ulterior motives.

SexySoundGirl

I don't fancy guys.

SexySoundGirl

Thanks alot for this post.It really helps alot more than people just telling me i fancy him

RedXIV

SexySoundGirl wrote: »

I don't fancy guys.

Thats your best bet. tell him the above, problem solved

SexySoundGirl

lol he knows that already. He just thinks im sorta....stalkerish lol

MIN2511

SexySoundGirl wrote: »

lol he knows that already. He just thinks im sorta....stalkerish lol

Are you stalking him?

Put yourself in his shoes, would you consider your actions as stalking?

SexySoundGirl

No.....I just emailed him and added him on social networking sites.He has this thing against what he calls "needy personalities"

RedXIV

SexySoundGirl wrote: »

No.....I just emailed him and added him on social networking sites.He has this thing against what he calls "needy personalities"

He doesn't sound as fun as you originally stated lass. Leave him be because he doesn't sound like much fun. If YOU on the other hand become fun, he'll come make friends with you!

SexySoundGirl

lol good point.See don't have many friends and he has looooaddss and i was hoping he could introduce me to loads of new people cause i have been very lonely lately

Miss Fluff

You can't FORCE someone to like you. Keep your distance from him from now on, he has made it clear so to be honest it IS "stalkerish" if you keep pursuing him.

SexySoundGirl

Ok everyone I sent him an email explaining myself i'm just waiting on a reply

Miss Fluff

SexySoundGirl wrote: »

Ok everyone I sent him an email explaining myself i'm just waiting on a reply

You have GOT to be trolling. Wtf did you do that for?Hasn't he made it quite clear he doesn't want to have anything to do with you? I'd advise you watch where you tread OP, next thing you know he'll get a restraining order out on you. Seriously.

SexySoundGirl

He never made anything "CLEAR" I'm just going by what other ppl have told me I just want to know the truth once and for all.Restaining order for sending a few emails well i'd hate to be friends with you anyway

Miss Fluff

SexySoundGirl wrote: »

He never made anything "CLEAR" I'm just going by what other ppl have told me I just want to know the truth once and for all.

Hope you get the answers you're looking for then.

SexySoundGirl

me too i'm sure you know how annoying it is to be bull****ted at.....everyone does

fred funk }{

I don't want to sound mean but, you sound like a stalker/freak to me. I would run a mile from somebody like you.
I bet he has told all of your other mutual friends that you're stalking him too.

Do not contact him again AT ALL if you want to retain whatever dignity you have left.

SexySoundGirl

So he emailed me back he said he was sorry if it came across that way.He thinks i'm really cool and was just shy and was uncomfortable cause I recently lost both my parents and was afraid to bring it up or act weird.he is taking me out for drinks tomorrow night to make up for being an arsehole.It will be great to get out again cause iv'e been really down.Finally something to look forward to

aoife000

SexySoundGirl wrote: »

So he emailed me back he said he was sorry if it came across that way.He thinks i'm really cool and was just shy and was uncomfortable cause I recently lost both my parents and was afraid to bring it up or act weird.he is taking me out for drinks tomorrow night to make up for being an arsehole.It will be great to get out again cause iv'e been really down.Finally something to look forward to

yeah of course he did

SexySoundGirl

Yup so happy......now how do ya close the thread i don't need any help anymore gonna take it from here...he's even gonna introduce me to a nice girl he reckons i'll get on with.

Wibbs

Closed as per OP request.