oral sex etiquette question

LegacyUser

it is normal to perform oral sex with a girl before sex? should I ask the girl if she wants it first or just go ahead and do it? and if she gives me oral sex should I definitely return the favour in that instance or is it ok to do it to her the next time?

Wurly

Be fair, return the favour!

Ask first though until you get to know her well - mannerly!

Doctor DooM

Tri wrote: »

Be fair, return the favour!

Ask first though until you get to know her well - mannerly!

As with everything to do with sex...

Ask her what she would like you to do! None of us know her, so none of us know the correct answer.

Some girls love you to go diving for treasure, some not so much.

challengemaster

I'd consider it part of foreplay and would help wonders probably in getting her ready for penetration. Can't see any reason why not to unless she doesn't want it.

Tar.Aldarion

Definitely ask, she may not want to do it.

LegacyUser

You would be as well to ask her first,as she might feel as she was under pressure to return the favour and might not be into knob gobbling.

Azureus

asking is always a safe bet, once ya dont get to clinical about it.
Dont think about it too much an judge by her reactions what to do and when. Its usually pretty self explanatory.

Talliesin

Unregyregreg wrote: »

it is normal to perform oral sex with a girl before sex?

Before penetration, after penetration. Before and after. Just doing oral sex and not having penetration. In-between two times you have penetration. Not at all. Starting penetration, not finishing and then having oral sex (possibly going to penetration again, possibly not). All of these are normal.

Unregyregreg wrote: »

should I ask the girl if she wants it first or just go ahead and do it?

You can ask, or you can just work towards it but be prepared for her to ask you to stop or merely move your head away.

Unregyregreg wrote: »

and if she gives me oral sex should I definitely return the favour in that instance or is it ok to do it to her the next time?

You don't have to. Something being good for both of you is not necessarily a matter of a simple tit-for-tat. You should make an effort to make sure she has a good time. Cunilingus tends to be appreciated quite a lot for the amount of effort taken compared with a lot of other things and is enjoyable to perform too, so it's certainly one way to try to do this, but not the other.

allybhoy

Em how about just go with the flow and see what happens. If she goes down o you, then repay the compliment etc etc

Talliesin wrote: »

after penetration.

I would advise against this OP, How do i say this, eh..........nobody likes to eat their own porridge.

Wurly

Tee hee - that was going through my mind aswell.:D

Maybe some do though eh. Off topic, sorry. I know.

Just didn't think people did if after sex. Just goes to show, eh?

Ok, ill shut up now.:cool:

Wurly

Yeah but he'l have to actually get down there and start the 'act' before he knows if she's into it or not!

No- one is saying to have a discussion. Basically 'can i/do you want me to go down on you would suffice - with eager facial expression on face.:pac:

Better to ask til he knows her better. She may not be ready for that and it could freak her out. Ya wouldn't want to come across as forceful.

Talliesin

allybhoy wrote: »

I would advise against this OP, How do i say this, eh..........nobody likes to eat their own porridge.

People have known about gravity since at least the 8th Century BCE. Surely you can work out that she could lie on her back, and then it's going to flow down from her vagina, not up. There won't be any semen on her clitoris, so while some men may want to taste it and put their tongue near her vagina on purpose (your comment about "nobody" forgets that snowballing is relatively popular), you won't get any anywhere near your mouth through normal cunilingus.

Tri wrote: »

Just didn't think people did if after sex. Just goes to show, eh?

It's not "after sex", it's all sex.

I think the OP's question is a bit beyond preschooler questions about where babies come from, and should be answered as such.

Wurly

Talliesin wrote: »

I think the OP's question is a bit beyond preschooler questions about where babies come from, and should be answered as such.

Whoa, there buddy. Relax.

It wasn't meant to be a smart comment on my part. I was being honest, I didn't think people did it after penetration (obviously the word 'sex' is not correct enough here).

In my experience of oral, men tended not to stay at just my clitoris, they moved about the place. So in my mind therefore, they would taste it.

Now get off your bloody high horse.

Dudess

But wouldn't you agree with the point that the OP is treating sex as some sort of unnatural, prepared process with right and wrong ways of doing things? As if he's servicing a car?

OP, why not just do whatever you and she want to do? If there was a set way of doing things when it comes to sex, wouldn't there be a manual?

Wurly

Dudess wrote: »

But wouldn't you agree with the point that the OP is treating sex as some sort of unnatural, prepared process with right and wrong ways of doing things? As if he's servicing a car?

OP, why not just do whatever you and she want to do? If there was a set way of doing things when it comes to sex, wouldn't there be a manual?

No, he asking cos he's not sure of the 'etiquette'.

The girl has a right to be asked first. Bear in mind, we have no idea of what she's like.

By coming here for advice first, it shows that he's respectful of this girl. There is nothing wrong with asking for advice.

jellie

if youre comfortable enough to be doing these things with her you should be comfortable enough to talk about them with her. it doesnt require a big in depth discussion, maybe just what she likes, or ask her if shed like you to before you do

Anti

'Tis always polite to ask before drinking from the fury cup.

MJOR

Tri wrote: »

Tee hee - that was going through my mind aswell.:D

Maybe some do though eh. Off topic, sorry. I know.

Just didn't think people did if after sex. Just goes to show, eh?

Ok, ill shut up now.:cool:

right make sure you ask her because she might not actually want it.... start by mabe kissing her boobs and tummy and work ur way down and see what the weather is like south of the border

Talliesin

Tri wrote: »

In my experience of oral, men tended not to stay at just my clitoris, they moved about the place. So in my mind therefore, they would taste it.

Of course they would, there's a whole body to lick, amongst other things one can do. We're talking about a hypothetical case where someone doesn't like tasting their own semen. It seems pretty sensible that such a person should avoid the one place where their semen is and concentrate on just giving head, in that particular case. No?

Tri wrote: »

Now get off your bloody high horse.

I wasn't the one saying it should only be done one way.

sar84 wrote: »

if youre comfortable enough to be doing these things with her you should be comfortable enough to talk about them with her. it doesnt require a big in depth discussion, maybe just what she likes, or ask her if shed like you to before you do

Agreed.

I do think one can just work ones way towards performing cunnilingus without saying anything explicit - it's well within the scope of so-called "normal" sexual behaviour so it's not going to be a big surprise, and you can back off if your partner doesn't like the idea. But if you're not comfortable with talking about it, then the chances of doing so in a clumsy way (and not noticing if she's signally discomfort) would probably be greater than if you could talk about it. Better to try to just talk about it if you haven't already shown yourself good at reading such signals.

Talking about it can itself be part of the sexual experience, if the two people are happy talking in a raunchy manner. If not, better to go for the cool, calm and collected approach.

Wibbs

Anti, Not exactly helpful or in the spirit of things. Read the charter.