Citropram

LegacyUser

Hi I'm going through some major sh!t at the moment and I'm finding it harder every day to find happiness. My family's falling apart because I'm not happy and my friends are seeing the selfish, sad, lonely side of me and not liking it. I hate myself more and more and suicide has creeped into my mind on more than one occasion. It's getting tough facing the consequences of y actions and I don't know what to do.

I took Lexapro at my doc's suggestion a year back. All that did was numb me to everything. I gave them two months and all they did was leave me floating, they killed off my sex drive, left me exhausted yet unable to sleep regularly. I eventually told my doc lies: that I didn't need meds anymore. He gave in and said OK and advised me hoe to wean myself off the,. Afterwards, the anxieties and paranoia and overwhelming sadness crept in and here I am: I feel more alive but feel ready to die.

My friend went through a similar situation and she recommended Citropram. I was going to ask my gp about them but I thought I'd ask here: does anyone have experience with them? I'm in a tough job which requires constant face to face contact. I don't want to feel like this anymore but I don't want to suffer terrible headaches/nausea either.

dudara

Posters, no medical advice is to be provided. Stick to your own experiences.

OP, you need to go talk to your GP about this medication.

TequilaMockingBird

Hi Op

I have taken these for years and would recommend them personally. Good luck finding the right one for you. Also, be honest with the doctor, they've heard it all before, and will be able to help you find what you need alot easier if they know the score.

Best wishes.

MagicMarker

First off, you did yourself no favours when you lied to your doctor. You should have told him what you've said in this thread. He either would have prescribed you more of the pills which you could have CHOSEN not to take and you could have got yourself a new doctor. Or he would have taken note and possible referred you to some kind of therapist/prescribe different pills.

Go back to your doctor and tell him the full story, you could also start for some professional help in the mean time. I've never been in your position but i know that if i were, i would see a therapist before taking any drugs.

Dudess

What about telling us what you're going through OP? What has caused you to feel this way?
Seems like you could do with some counselling.

econ08

I've been on citalopram and didn't experience any side effects.

I agree with what MagicMarker said. Tell your doctor the full story and he will prescribe a drug to suit you.

You might want to read up on lithium. When a patient doesn't respond to two courses of anti-depressants they are usually prescribed lithium as an augmenter. Lithium is the only drug proven to significantly reduce the long term suicide rate in patients with mood disorders. Research has shown that it reduces the suicide rate by between 10-20 times. Lithium also prevents relapse.

LegacyUser

Basically...
I went from one relationship to another repeatedly, without giving myself time to breathe, becoming more and more dependant on the love of another person to make myself feel good.
I became more and more depressed and took time off work and me and my gf were on the brink of breaking up when we found out she was pregnant.
I was still taking lexapro and as I said it numbed me. Combine that with the overhwelming shock of the news and I can tell you, it leaves you lost.
I did what I thought was right and what I wanted: I told her I'd be happy to have a family with her and so I went to the doc to wean me off the drugs (the headaches and mood swings worried me, I preferred the more calm sadness!)
I moved in with her and her infuriating family, eventually moved back to my mams with the gf, only to realise that all the frustration and sadness and anger inside came from the real me being suppressed.
I had, over a long period of time, learned to detach myself from situations somehwat until sometime later, then it would hit me. And now it has.
I don't think I love her. She annoys me alot and her family really get under my skin. I've unwittingly caused a real difficult situation cos the babys born now (beautiful) but I can't see myself ever happy again with the gf. The terible thing is she saw this coming and I've really hurt her.
I just don't want to hurt anymore. The guilt and regret and self-hatred are killing me.
I feel like crying ALL THE TIME.
Last night I considered ODing until I imagined the horror of anyone finding me like that.
You have to understand, this is NOT the responsibility of being a dad that scares me. It's the trying to find a home for the gf and the baby, trying to afford to give them maintenance, trying to be there when he needs me even though I can't drive (I get panic attacks even walking out the door sometimes).
I've gone to counselling and all that did was solidify my fears that I've lied to myself about my true feelings and now it's too late to have a happy ending. I can be either an unhappy half of an unhappy couple, or a dad that shows up once a week to the decrepid depressing apartment that my ex-gf would have to try cover (rent allowance is getting strict).
I'm putting myself last here. Living a fake life won't work, I can't pretend to be happy.
My counselor believed I was actually very noble but foolish to do what I did but I explained that if it weren't for the damned lexapro I really would have had the clarity, foresight and honesty to tell her I didn't wanna be a father.
The shame is killing me.
Sorry for the rant. Just had to explain fully.