breaking up :( (another thread, sorry!)

jellie

Maybe i should go unregged but i guess im ok with not. another breakup thread This probably seems insignificant with all the other big issues that go through PI but i need somewhere to get all my feelings out of my system. but its gonna be pretty long, sorry.

my bf of nearly 2 years broke up with me on friday. im at a loss. i dont know how to deal with it. ive been with friends constantly since then until last night when i came home & just slept, but this morning its all hitting me.

it was long distance, so it was tough. but for me it was always worth it. we broke up last yr for a couple of months but got back together. he went back to college this year so time together was hard to come by. he got new friends, he wanted to go out more. he had tried some drugs (pills) around when we broke up before but when we got back together he promised me that was it. a couple of times he took them again until i told him i couldnt deal with it & it was me or the drugs. he begged me not to break up with him.

other than that things were good. wed see each other every 2/3 weeks, sometimes more. then around mid-march things got funny. we didnt get on for a few weeks. but wed agreed we wouldnt be seeing each other for a bit because he needed to study. i sensed things were different, i pushed him & he said he didnt think he felt the same way. he came up to me & we talked, agreed wed try give each other some space while we was doing exams & try again after. we had a holiday booked for may straight after his exams so said wed go on that & see how things were after.

but during this chat i also found out he was taking drugs more. pills, coke, speed. mostly just pills but the others on occassion. i was quite horrified, i hate drugs. but i didnt see the point in making a big deal of it at the time, decided to tackle it after the exams. but then he seemed to think that since i knew he was taking them it was ok to text me when he was ****ed on pills & tell me, leaving me worrying about him all night. during these nights i tried to tell myself we needed to break up. but i always put it off until after his exams.

so we were on holiday this week. i expected it to be obvious how things were gonna go from how the holiday went. but to me it was perfect. we got on great, not a single argument. he was being affectionate & cuddling me & generally being my old bf. when we were coming home i tried to tell myself not to presume things would be ok, that we still had to talk, but things had been so good.

but then we came back i asked could we talk. he told me he doesnt feel the same way about me anymore. & we broke up. & it was a complete shock. if we had been arguing or not getting on id understand. but i dont. he said he was acting the way he was to try get things back, that he thought if he acted that way the feelings would come back. but hes just made things a million times worse. if wed broken up when things were bad it would make sense. but things werent bad, they were the best theyve been in ages. i dont understand

ive plenty i can use to tell me im better off out of this, obviously the drugs are an issue. its recreational use, hes not doing it everyday, but its still there. (i shouldnt be making excuses for it i know)

but i miss him. hes been the most important thing in my life for the last 2 years. maybe this is a bad way to be in a relationship, but surely the person you love should mean more to you than anything else.

i know it will probably get easier - ive broken up with him before! but i never fully got over him, & 2 months later i still wanted him back enough to get back with him.

i dont think im looking for advice. theres nothing you can tell me i dont know. time is a great healer etc etc. but i needed to write it all down somewhere & try get my head around it. if youve managed to read it all, thanks.

m83

Aww hey hun can I first of all say you don't have to apologise about your post - it's equally as important as anybody elses here. You've come here for a reason and there are people here who will do their utmost to take that heavy weight off your shoulders. Just close your eyes for a second ok and feel the warmth and love of a communal Boards.ie hug

To be honest I think you'll be much better off without him. First of all, the drugs issue, while it's not a big deal to most people you have your beliefs and you're entitled to have them. I think if he really did love and respect you he would have knocked them and chose you. But to me it's not so important that he didn't choose this because it just stresses that you are not as compatible for eachother as you once thought. And this is a great thing! Just think about it for a second. I mean from reading your post it's glaringly obvious that you're a girl with a heart of gold who wants to love and be loved. And there you were doing you're best for him and really making a go of it and you get absolutely fecked over in return - you so did not deserve this, especially after the week you had together on holidays. But do you really want to be with a guy like this? One who can fake it if and when he wants to? Christ no! Doesn't that just boil youre blood? I have zero respect for people like that and trust me when I come across people like that I walk or I show them the door because they aren't worth a morsel of my time. I just hope you can realise that you have so much more ahead of you, so much more love to get, and real love the kind your heart desires and it's going to knock you for six!

I'm rambling but look, come away from this relationship as strong as you can. Let time work its magic. I've been in the pits before after breakups and I will never go there again, its simply the worst place to be, first thing on your mind in the morning and last thing at night and all you want to do is punch something or cry a river.

Know that being with him was a learning experience that will really stand to you when you're in future relationships, real relationships with people who will love you for who you are and will treat you with respect.

Don't hold any regrets or grudges either. Don't think back to the great times you had - you know they were great because you made them great and you can easily do that with someone else.

If I were you now I'd spend a little more time with my friends just talking for hours and getting everything out of my head. And I'd throw away all of his stuff or give it back to him, delete the bebo, his number, just a totaly clean break. If the issue of being friends comes up - say no - 99% of the time it just makes it even harder.

Finally, you've broken up before and gotten back together. Hear me now, this is not going to happen again and you cannot let it happen again. Ok! Any yearning you will have in the coming months you might confuse as missing him - not the case - you'll just be missing the closeness and emotional bond that being in a relationship affords you.

So chin up girl and be happy to be back on the path to true happiness after your two year trek down the dirt track - get that bounce back in your step, let the world see you smile and take it all in your stride and then, when you least expect it, your real man will come along to sweep you off your feet and make this episode of your life but a distant memory. :x

Creachadóir

Hi Sar84,

I know exactly what you're going through, and I know that it doesn't help at all when people say you're better off without him, because you can see what's underneath the drugs and you love him. It doesn't help that you're probably worried about him because of this drug use. My ex seems to be drinking to excess and had started at that before we broke up, and although it kinda scared me that he'd suddenly started all this, I was a bit in denial about how serious it was.

I doubt if he was deliberately affectionate on holidays, he probably was trying to rekindle things. The exact same thing happened with my ex two months ago, we went on a great holiday and no sooner had I the photos up on bebo, but we'd broken up. We'd had a great time, even he said that, but there was something missing according to him.

It's very hard to think of life without him at the moment, but take little steps. Maybe say no contact for a month...and by the time the month is up I bet you'll be on the road to recovery and won't even want to contact him!! That's how I felt, and it was my ex who kept contacting me, I think he was shocked that I didn't need him.

I'm glad you're sleeping, that's very important for staying rational. Try to distract yourself for the next two weeks, get away or do sport or whatever it takes to keep you busy from when you get up til you go to sleep. Especially have stuff planned for the weekend because that's probably when you'll miss him most as it was long-distance.

I hate to see anyone going through a break-up, x x x *hugs*

jellie

Thanks for your replies.

m83, you talk a lot of sense. itd take me ages to comment on all the good points you made, but thank you.

Creachadóir wrote: »

Hi Sar84,

I doubt if he was deliberately affectionate on holidays, he probably was trying to rekindle things. The exact same thing happened with my ex two months ago, we went on a great holiday and no sooner had I the photos up on bebo, but we'd broken up. We'd had a great time, even he said that, but there was something missing according to him.

sounds pretty identical. wed been on the computer an hour or so before wed talked & hed been asking me if i was putting the photos up.

Creachadóir wrote: »

It's very hard to think of life without him at the moment, but take little steps. Maybe say no contact for a month...and by the time the month is up I bet you'll be on the road to recovery and won't even want to contact him!! That's how I felt, and it was my ex who kept contacting me, I think he was shocked that I didn't need him.

im trying to keep busy & telling myself i dont need him. my head says i dont, my heart just wants him so badly. but i know hes not the same person that i fell in love with. that person was totally & completely against drugs, was so motivated for college.. now hes more concerned with getting f*cked up than studying for exams

Creachadóir wrote: »

I'm glad you're sleeping, that's very important for staying rational. Try to distract yourself for the next two weeks, get away or do sport or whatever it takes to keep you busy from when you get up til you go to sleep. Especially have stuff planned for the weekend because that's probably when you'll miss him most as it was long-distance.

I hate to see anyone going through a break-up, x x x *hugs*

sleep has been surprisingly easy. when i want to distract myself im quite good at it. but when i decide to let it all out it just gets a bit uncontrollable. but i know i need it.

thanks for your replies

chuci

hey sar not much i can add to the posts above but just that break ups are hard and the awful feeling that is in the pit of your stomach feels like its never going to go away. you said in you post that there is nothing that we can tell you that you dont know so keep telling yourself that it will get better and that you will get over this.

its sad that the person you fell in love with has changed so much in the last two years thats a hard thing to deal with. my first"real" boyfriend used pop pills cheat and steal and snot coke, you name he did it when i found out i was furious just had to break up with him. but you have to remember that its not the same person. pm or anything if you just want to rant. HUGS (

---

)

jellie

chuci wrote: »

hey sar not much i can add to the posts above but just that break ups are hard and the awful feeling that is in the pit of your stomach feels like its never going to go away. you said in you post that there is nothing that we can tell you that you dont know so keep telling yourself that it will get better and that you will get over this.

its sad that the person you fell in love with has changed so much in the last two years thats a hard thing to deal with. my first"real" boyfriend used pop pills cheat and steal and snot coke, you name he did it when i found out i was furious just had to break up with him. but you have to remember that its not the same person. pm or anything if you just want to rant. HUGS (

---

)

thanks.

my problem at the moment is that on holidays he seemed to be the same person i fell in love with. it was like the old him, the old us. & its made it a million times harder

chuci

i can imagine. i dont have any words of wisdom im a great believer that things happen for a reason and this was something. maybe it was something so you would have a good memory of him before you broke up that you can look back on and smile, rather than all the agro that has surrounded the relationship.

Creachadóir

God men and their photos, my ex still has the photos from that hol up lol...i've deleted every pic of him from bebo!

Delete his number, hopefully you don't know it by heart, i didn't cos he'd just got a new phone so that was handy.

I don't know, Im guessing you're a year or two younger than me (still in college and stuff) but I think guys that age get these urges for freedom out of nowhere. There's nothing you can do except try to get on with your own life. I'm kinda at the stage now 2 months later that I've started looking at other guys again, and we were going out 3 years and had plans for the future...so if there's hope for me there's hope for anyone.

Try to stay out of his way as much as possible, I don't know how possible that'll be, but trust me bumping into each other is tough * more hugs *

jellie

Creachadóir wrote: »

Delete his number, hopefully you don't know it by heart, i didn't cos he'd just got a new phone so that was handy.

i know it unfortunately. but ive been drinking the last 2 nights & have had no urge to txt! im quite proud

Creachadóir wrote: »

I don't know, Im guessing you're a year or two younger than me (still in college and stuff) but I think guys that age get these urges for freedom out of nowhere. There's nothing you can do except try to get on with your own life. I'm kinda at the stage now 2 months later that I've started looking at other guys again, and we were going out 3 years and had plans for the future...so if there's hope for me there's hope for anyone.

im 24, well out of college. hes 23 and in college. i think he feels like hes missing out by being with me. he wants to go do drugs & sleep around.

Creachadóir wrote: »

Try to stay out of his way as much as possible, I don't know how possible that'll be, but trust me bumping into each other is tough * more hugs *

that bits actually quite easy. it was long distance & we live opposite ends of the country.. unfortunately our internet lives are all mixed up together, as stupid as that sounds. we used it a lot for contact. msn, bebo, skype. deleting him is easy, but what do you do about his friends etc? his little bro? do i delete him? its confusing

Creachadóir

Ya I know what you mean about deleting friends and family. While I've deleted his number and don't know it cos he had just got a new phone number from work, I haven't delted him from my bebo... but I have deleted his photos and just put him out of my top 16 (god I sound like a teenager!!!) and his little sis has her story of how we know each other as how we're practically family and that she loves me with lots of xoxo etc. And she just uploaded a pic of me and her to her bebo during the week so I saw that from the updates page...it had been a family day out from a few months ago.

I'm beginning to wonder if we dated the same person ha ha, ya think mine just wants to sleep around drink and go out with the lads too, I duno what he thinks he's missing out on. It really seems to be a thing guys in their mid-20s want to do if they've been in a long-term relationship. Upsetting, but try not to imagine him with other people in your head. You're lucky that you won't have to see him, mine is local though he could stay at the other end of the country where he works...but he's home every weekend since we split up. Men!!!

You sound like a lovely girl, I bet you'll have no prob upgrading from this fella. But ya, it does take time xox

Karen_*

Sara big hugs to you. Its really really hard I know. Not much I can add after the other posts but you really sound like a lovely girl who's got her head screwed on and you're going to be ok. It will take time and unfortunately you have to go through the pain but you know what they say, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

Also your problems are as important as everyone elses here. And everythings relative. Yes some people have bigger problems and bigger challenges but it doesn't mean we can't be hurt or upset.

Take care x

monkey9

Honestly, the best thing to do in situations like this is to avoid each other as much as possible. Bebo and all that **** makes it so much harder, maybe even stop using it for a while (is bebo really that important anyway?) As for people that both of you's know....again it's better to avoid as much as possible. Hopefully they'll understand why.
It's all **** really, isn't it?? Just keep getting up each day and things get easier. I just watch box sets of Only Fools and Horses to make me laugh. It must be the male equivalent of eating chocolate and yoghurt or whatever women do!!!

jellie

Creachadóir wrote: »

Ya I know what you mean about deleting friends and family. While I've deleted his number and don't know it cos he had just got a new phone number from work, I haven't delted him from my bebo... but I have deleted his photos and just put him out of my top 16 (god I sound like a teenager!!!) and his little sis has her story of how we know each other as how we're practically family and that she loves me with lots of xoxo etc. And she just uploaded a pic of me and her to her bebo during the week so I saw that from the updates page...it had been a family day out from a few months ago.

I'm beginning to wonder if we dated the same person ha ha, ya think mine just wants to sleep around drink and go out with the lads too, I duno what he thinks he's missing out on. It really seems to be a thing guys in their mid-20s want to do if they've been in a long-term relationship. Upsetting, but try not to imagine him with other people in your head. You're lucky that you won't have to see him, mine is local though he could stay at the other end of the country where he works...but he's home every weekend since we split up. Men!!!

You sound like a lovely girl, I bet you'll have no prob upgrading from this fella. But ya, it does take time xox

his little sisters cried the last time we broke up, wouldnt talk to him, somehow managed to get to his phone & find texts from me & text me from it. it killed me that she was upset over us, theyre such fantastic little girls they were so delighted when we got back together. dont know how things are now.

im the same with the bebo stuff, ive moved him down out of my top 16 & hed deleted me as his other half (i wanted to do that!). but you can still see updates etc from each other so i dont know if keeping friends on it will work.

things sound v similar with you!

Karen_* wrote: »

Sara big hugs to you. Its really really hard I know. Not much I can add after the other posts but you really sound like a lovely girl who's got her head screwed on and you're going to be ok. It will take time and unfortunately you have to go through the pain but you know what they say, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

Also your problems are as important as everyone elses here. And everythings relative. Yes some people have bigger problems and bigger challenges but it doesn't mean we can't be hurt or upset.

Take care x

thanks. everyones telling me i sound lovely lol. i AM lovely dammit!

monkey9 wrote: »

Honestly, the best thing to do in situations like this is to avoid each other as much as possible. Bebo and all that **** makes it so much harder, maybe even stop using it for a while (is bebo really that important anyway?) As for people that both of you's know....again it's better to avoid as much as possible. Hopefully they'll understand why.
It's all **** really, isn't it?? Just keep getting up each day and things get easier. I just watch box sets of Only Fools and Horses to make me laugh. It must be the male equivalent of eating chocolate and yoghurt or whatever women do!!!

yeah i think i might try stay away from bebo for a bit. but it usually beats my boredom in work! i guess i could just throw myself into work for a bit, ugh. luckily we dont have many mutual friends, but we both have each others bros/sisters & some friends as friends on bebo.

im not really doing the chocolate thing though.. its more not eating..

thanks again everyone, youre all lovely

jellie

i cant help really wanting to talk to him & to try sort this out im a mess today. i was doing ok by last night but now all i want to do is talk to him

Creachadóir

Stay strong, don't contact him!!

If you ring him it'll be like begging him to take you back even if you don't beg. He knows your number, and it's a lot more attractive to look like you're taking it in your stride. I can't really talk though...I contacted mine the day after we broke up, but then it got a lot of things straight in my head about him too, maybe you need that. However with mine he pretty much guilted ME in to feeling sorry for HIM and then sent me a text to say he felt so much better after our chat (while I was bawling my eyes out after it).

But all in all, it won't solve anything, and if there's hope of reconcilliation it'll probably push him further aeway x x

Delganys Finest

Hi Sar,sorry to hear your story,my heart goes out to you.
I've nothing really to add that the others havent said.
Like Creachadóir said
do try and resist calling him if you can,I think it leaves you in a better position no matter what happens.NOt that I can talk,I went to pieces once every fortnight and phoned.It didnt turn out so well for me
xox

jellie

i spoke to him in the end. i dont regret it, it gave me some sort of "closure". part of me didnt want to let go, now i know i have to.

still feel rotten though..

Delganys Finest

That's good then
Trust me,it gets better,try and keep occupied

jellie

Delganys Finest wrote: »

That's good then
Trust me,it gets better,try and keep occupied

i hope so, cause i dont know how long i can deal with feeling like this

RedXIV

I know, i know, you even said it in the first post, but if i don't say it, it might explode within in me.

Time is a great healer.

I know, i suck, but after your last post i had to say it. I can promise that in no time at all, especially since you've recieved a bit of closure in your last conversation, things will start to pick themselves back up.

Have great faith in ya lass, i'm sure you'll bounce back soon

Best of luck

Red

jellie

RedXIV wrote: »

I know, i know, you even said it in the first post, but if i don't say it, it might explode within in me.

Time is a great healer.

I know, i suck, but after your last post i had to say it. I can promise that in no time at all, especially since you've recieved a bit of closure in your last conversation, things will start to pick themselves back up.

Have great faith in ya lass, i'm sure you'll bounce back soon

Best of luck

Red

wouldnt want you exploding now would we

Thanks. i do know it, but i guess sometimes it needs to be said to me as well.

just gotta keep repeating: better off without him.. better off without him..

i have a feeling if i can just get through this week things will improve but ill probably moan here loads before i get there!

RedXIV

sar84 wrote: »

wouldnt want you exploding now would we

Thanks. i do know it, but i guess sometimes it needs to be said to me as well.

just gotta keep repeating: better off without him.. better off without him..

i have a feeling if i can just get through this week things will improve but ill probably moan here loads before i get there!

Course ya will, and best way to get through the week is make plans! BIG plans! plans that involve fun things! like baby elephants!

Also, feel free to moan here all ya want, you have one week of getting no strings attached support and compliments, after that we might have to start charging

jellie

RedXIV wrote: »

Course ya will, and best way to get through the week is make plans! BIG plans! plans that involve fun things! like baby elephants!

Also, feel free to moan here all ya want, you have one week of getting no strings attached support and compliments, after that we might have to start charging

i saw baby elephants in the zoo with him last week

i have plans for most evenings this week, up to the weekend where so far i have nothing! gotta get something sorted.

God even westlife songs are making me cry, whats wrong with me!

RedXIV

Alright well imagine someone ELSE juggling baby elephants. done!
Come on up to dub for the weekend! i'll bring ya out and about and we can get hammered.

And i did security at the westlife concert on saturday. they made me cry too. 4 bloody encores :eek:

jellie

RedXIV wrote: »

Alright well imagine someone ELSE juggling baby elephants. done!
Come on up to dub for the weekend! i'll bring ya out and about and we can get hammered.

And i did security at the westlife concert on saturday. they made me cry too. 4 bloody encores :eek:

lol, wasnt westlife on sunday? i was so desperate to be distracted i nearly bought a spare ticket my friend had, but turns out i wasnt THAT depressed.

Wibbs

This is the hard part you're going through now. It will get better. Of course everyone says that, but you have to go through it to believe it. You'll have bad days and bad moments but with time and effort from your side they wil get less and less.

What others have said is right on the money. Get busy living as soon as you can. This will be hard as you were used to being part of a couple.

Now is the time for you to do what you couldn't do before, for yourself. This will make you a better person and that will help you make the right choice of person for you and make any relationship you have in the future a better one.

Often a good sign of growth in yourself is realising that while they may have been your soulmate at the time, they're not now. They were right for you at the time and if you learn from this and grown from this it is the best way to honour a reationship, even and especially one that goes tits up.

PS I cry at westlife songs too. A sure sign of intelligence and taste. Yet another string to your bow.:D

jellie

Wibbs wrote: »

Often a good sign of growth in yourself is realising that while they may have been your soulmate at the time, they're not now. They were right for you at the time and if you learn from this and grown from this it is the best way to honour a reationship, even and especially one that goes tits up.

Thats a lovely way of putting it & makes so much sense. 2 years ago we were perfect together. But if i met him now for the first time i wouldnt go near him, id be staying away from the drugs.

RedXIV

sar84 wrote: »

lol, wasnt westlife on sunday? i was so desperate to be distracted i nearly bought a spare ticket my friend had, but turns out i wasnt THAT depressed.

............yes, yes they were. sunstroke must be starting to get to me.

Thanks to 11 hours in sun and not wearing suncream i'm now this colour -> :mad: with this expression ->

jellie

RedXIV wrote: »

............yes, yes they were. sunstroke must be starting to get to me.

Thanks to 11 hours in sun and not wearing suncream i'm now this colour -> :mad: with this expression ->

but you were surrounded by screaming girls for hours.. fun no?

RedXIV

a rather disturbing male percentage there. you wouldn't believe me if i told you how many were there.

monkey9

sar84 wrote: »

lol, wasnt westlife on sunday? i was so desperate to be distracted i nearly bought a spare ticket my friend had, but turns out i wasnt THAT depressed.

I know things are tough at the moment, but there is never, EVER a time to listen to Westlife! Don't go down that dark road.

jellie

monkey9 wrote: »

I know things are tough at the moment, but there is never, EVER a time to listen to Westlife! Don't go down that dark road.

LOL. it was on the radio. although my friend bloody started playing it around me the other day, i asked her to turn it off cause it was depressing, then she moved to another westlife song at which point i started bawling. God im sad ill blame the crying on my ears hurting or something

jellie

sorry to drag this thread up again.. im just going insane this morning. i was FINE last night. for some reason this morning i suddenly miss him SO MUCH. i have this crazy desire to text him (which i WONT) but God i just MISS him.

RedXIV

Think of this as a detox period. if it was drink you were getting out of your body (according to my uncle anyway) it's like rats running all over your skin for 3 days until there's this shining utopia of happiness (sobreity!)

Distract yourself here lass, you said you've nothing planned for the weekend, your online, go sort something for yourself

jellie

actually have a LOAD of work i should be doing since i did feck all yesterday. should probably try throw myself into that. my heads not really in a place for doing work though!

just gotta get through the day..

RedXIV

There ya go, get about 4 expressos into ya and dive into it, with irregular updates here so we can all tell ya its a bad idea to contact him.

Here if ya need it

jellie

ah i wont contact him. cause i know its pointless.

thanks for your replies, kind of keeping me going & nicely distracted at the moment, really appreciate it

RedXIV

No problem, if ya really want something to distract ya, i'll start sending ya riddles to wreck your head.

jellie

work is head wrecking enough with riddles thrown in too!

I want to go back to sleep, everything just disappears nicely while im asleep..

RedXIV

sounds fairly boring, i was dreaming i was indiana jones last night.

Gonna go watch all the spidermans tonight and hopefully i'll be webslinging all night

Liam Byrne

It might take a few months, but the main sting will wear off.....then you'll just have the odd occasional relapse, and then it'll be a distant memory....

And ask yourself this - do you really want to be with someone who does drugs ? You said yourself you hate them.

jellie

Liam Byrne wrote: »

It might take a few months, but the main sting will wear off.....then you'll just have the odd occasional relapse, and then it'll be a distant memory....

And ask yourself this - do you really want to be with someone who does drugs ? You said yourself you hate them.

i know im better off without him. i KNOW this. or my head does anyway. just my emotions havent got up with my head yet. & i miss him

Creachadóir

Well if it makes you feel any better, he probably misses you too. If you're with someone for a good while you still think about them and miss them, even if you won't admit it. However, it's obviously a lot easier for him because he's the one who made the decision. I find doing sport helps more than anything, I suppose because you're so active that you can't think of anything. And it gets the happy hormones going.

Now that you've got closure, I guess you don't really have anything that you need to say or want to ask. Even if you do, you probably don't need to know.

Have you any holidays to take? If so you should book something with some of your friends for August or Septemeber. That way you'll have something to look forward to. I know you're only just back from hols, so you probably wouldn't want to go anytime soon.

It'll probably be tough for a few weeks. I think you said you were finding it hard to eat. I know I was the same...I stocked up on a few of those meal in a drink things because I couldn't eat much for a week or two and I didn't want to lose weight or get sick. This is not medical advice, but it just makes sense that if you're not eating as much as usual that you should get nutrients from somewhere, and those drinks along with smoothies and juices are easier to stomach when you're upset. I know one of my friends lost well over a stone that she didn't need to lose last year after a break-up and it just wasn't healthy.

*Hugs*

jellie

Creachadóir wrote: »

It'll probably be tough for a few weeks. I think you said you were finding it hard to eat. I know I was the same...I stocked up on a few of those meal in a drink things because I couldn't eat much for a week or two and I didn't want to lose weight or get sick. This is not medical advice, but it just makes sense that if you're not eating as much as usual that you should get nutrients from somewhere, and those drinks along with smoothies and juices are easier to stomach when you're upset. I know one of my friends lost well over a stone that she didn't need to lose last year after a break-up and it just wasn't healthy.

*Hugs*

yeah the not eating thing was getting to me but im a bit better today, had breakfast AND lunch though to be honest if i lost a few pounds itd be the only good thing to come out of this mess! we broke up before & i lost about a stone.. put it all back on of course.

Creachadóir

Good for you! I'm glad you're eating. And you're sleeping! That's two good things. I have a feeling you'll be just fine x x

Damzilla

Hi there,

Just wanted you to know that I am going through something similar myself and know how you feel.

I've lost a stone and a half in a month. Not ideal but I did need to loose it! I'm slowly starting to eat a bit better thank god because it wasn't good for me but I know what it is like to not be able to face food. The mere thought of it made me feel sick. I'm ok with sleeping in terms of that I can fall asleep but then I wake up really, really early, remember what is going on and then I can't go back asleep! It's a vicous circle.

PM me if you ever want a rant or a chat!

jellie

Creachadóir wrote: »

Good for you! I'm glad you're eating. And you're sleeping! That's two good things. I have a feeling you'll be just fine x x

Thanks. i know i WILL be fine. its just gonna hurt for a bit, im starting to accept this. just gotta keep remembering im better off out of it.

Damzilla wrote: »

Hi there,

Just wanted you to know that I am going through something similar myself and know how you feel.

I've lost a stone and a half in a month. Not ideal but I did need to loose it! I'm slowly starting to eat a bit better thank god because it wasn't good for me but I know what it is like to not be able to face food. The mere thought of it made me feel sick. I'm ok with sleeping in terms of that I can fall asleep but then I wake up really, really early, remember what is going on and then I can't go back asleep! It's a vicous circle.

PM me if you ever want a rant or a chat!

I read your thread & felt so sorry for you. 2 years feels like forever to me, i cant imagine how you feel after 7. I was like that with food when we broke up before, but it only lasted a couple of days this time! & the sleep thing was similar. lying there for hours THINKING! when its the last thing you want to do! i hope things get better for you.

im just taking 1 day at a time (although it hasnt even been a week yet which is kind of scary somehow). some days are sh*t, some are a bit better. i feel ok this morning. not happy, but certainly not as down as i did yesterday. although its not even 9am yet, ill have to see how i feel by 11!

As i think you mentioned in your thread, we're still in love with the person they USED to be. im in love with the guy he was a year & a half ago. hes gone now

ah crap now im making myself sad again!

better off without him! (& repeat over & over as required)

Karen_*

Damzilla wrote: »

Hi there,

Just wanted you to know that I am going through something similar myself and know how you feel.

I've lost a stone and a half in a month. Not ideal but I did need to loose it! I'm slowly starting to eat a bit better thank god because it wasn't good for me but I know what it is like to not be able to face food. The mere thought of it made me feel sick. I'm ok with sleeping in terms of that I can fall asleep but then I wake up really, really early, remember what is going on and then I can't go back asleep! It's a vicous circle.

PM me if you ever want a rant or a chat!

I know that feeling well, really struck a chord with me. Its like you can get no peace or rest from sleep. Hope it gets better for you as its not nice.

Sara you're doing great and you'll be ok but just when you think you're feeling better you'll get a bad day so be prepared. Really feel for you at the moment.:)

jellie

Karen_* wrote: »

Sara you're doing great and you'll be ok but just when you think you're feeling better you'll get a bad day so be prepared.

yeah & then westlife comes on the radio f*cking westlife ffs! "us against the world.. blah blah blah". cue crying.. (im actually not but if i was feeling any weaker right now id probably bawl)

Karen_*

Sara did you have to bring that song up? Tears jsut appeared in the eyes!! LOL. Yeah, bloody Westlife:mad: Feckers!

RedXIV

It's ok, next time i'm at one of their concerts i'll look after it

*cracks knuckles*