Should I Dump Him

LegacyUser

I met this interesting guy 3 weeks ago, i'm 24 he 26. He works in Dublin during the week and comes home at weekends.

Last weekend he asked me to have sex with him, i made it clear that i'm a virgin and sex is a no, no.

We went out for a drinka on saturday and after we went behind a building and he undid my dress and bra and pulled them down to my waist and kissed my body all over, i was not too happy about it, but then when we went back to my place we kissed and hugged on the couch and he again undid my cloths i dosed off and i woken he he had his trousers down and masturbated onto my body.

I was totally disgusted and told him to leave, I've not answered his calls all week. am i overreacting or should i dump him, i'm totally disgusted over what happened. I'm beginning to wonder what he's up to during the week as well.

TheBrig

I'm sorry but WHAT?!

You made it clear sex wasn't going to happen because you were a virgin...but I'm presuming eventually you would have given the right circumstances right? Anyway, thats neither here nor there.

You then went behind a building and let him take off your dress and bra - was this consensual? You are saying you weren't too happy with it so I'm guessing not really? Did you just go along with it cos thats what he wanted?

And then you woke up and he had masturbated all over you?!

Jesus Christ girl, your next date will end up with you giving a very detailed statement in the nearest garda station. Don't have anything to do with this guy EVER again.

dudara

Examine your actions with a clear head. Did you say "no" clearly? And act in a fashion that meant "no"?

Either way, you're better off away.

Asok

Uh I'd give that one a miss...... his tugging the passion of the wrist while your asleep and then jizzing on you really is out of order.

Miss Fluff

Why did you go behind a building with him OP?

Also, you say you were "not too happy" about him taking off your clothes. He then did this again back at your place, so this has happened TWICE. Did you strongly object at the time or is this a case of the guilts now?

AckwelFoley

Hmm, dont worry too much..

Its machine washable

dudara

snyper Behave

dudara

Gary ITR

I seriously hope this is not a troll cos that story has given me the best laugh i've had in ages. Least it was only a stealth wa*k op, could have been much worse

AdrianII

get rid of him

some one that would do that to you when you were asleep could do anything , and after only 3 weeks :eek:.

Kaldorn

I actually laughed out loud when i read this which doesnt happen often in personal issues,I dont believe you i am sorry there are a few things here that dont quite work out, you are a virgin at 24...unlikely but still maybe.

If you are a virgin i presume its for a good reason which would lead me to believe that you wouldnt let a guy pull down your smalls in an alleyway,this is not virginal behaviour,third of all you were gettin busy on the couch and dozed off??? WHAT? hw must have been really russish at kissing/touching for you to "doze off" and then you wokr up to him with his lad in hand aiming at your face..sorry op but something is wrong here can you be a bit more concise?

Gary ITR

Kaldorn wrote: »

I actually laughed out loud when i read this which doesnt happen often in personal issues,I dont believe you i am sorry there are a few things here that dont quite work out, you are a virgin at 24...unlikely but still maybe.

If you are a virgin i presume its for a good reason which would lead me to believe that you wouldnt let a guy pull down your smalls in an alleyway,this is not virginal behaviour,third of all you were gettin busy on the couch and dozed off??? WHAT? hw must have been really russish at kissing/touching for you to "doze off" and then you wokr up to him with his lad in hand aiming at your face..sorry op but something is wrong here can you be a bit more concise?

Thing is it's just so ridiculous that it very well could be true

Max_Damage

Onkle wrote: »

Thing is it's just so ridiculous that it very well could be true

I agree.

AckwelFoley

Onkle wrote: »

I seriously hope this is not a troll cos that story has given me the best laugh i've had in ages. Least it was only a stealth wa*k op, could have been much worse

I doubt its a troll ive heard of this many times.

One asshat i know through a friend was living in OZ and he was there for months.. he lived with this girl he claimed was a "prick tease"

On his last night he was leaving for the airport, he called the taxi.. bags were in the cab.. asked the cabbie to wait a min.. he ran up stairs into her bedroom and fired off a few knuckle children onto her head while she was sleeping, and left.

Nice guy eh?
I only know one thing.. if she was my sister id...:mad:

Susannahmia

unreg_thursday wrote: »

I met this interesting guy 3 weeks ago, i'm 24 he 26. He works in Dublin during the week and comes home at weekends.

Last weekend he asked me to have sex with him, i made it clear that i'm a virgin and sex is a no, no.

We went out for a drinka on saturday and after we went behind a building and he undid my dress and bra and pulled them down to my waist and kissed my body all over, i was not too happy about it,.

Why didnt you tell him to stop?

[/QUOTE]

Gary ITR

snyper wrote: »

I doubt its a troll ive heard of this many times.

One asshat i know through a friend was living in OZ and he was there for months.. he lived with this girl he claimed was a "prick tease"

On his last night he was leaving for the airport, he called the taxi.. bags were in the cab.. asked the cabbie to wait a min.. he ran up stairs into her bedroom and fired off a few knuckle children onto her head while she was sleeping, and left.

Nice guy eh?
I only know one thing.. if she was my sister id...:mad:

Jesus christ.. They just lived together? not even a couple? not that that would make it ok

FX Meister

Henry Rollins joked about doing the same thing to a chick at a party who rejected him after she has fallen asleep. If I was the OP I'd stay away from him.

lolli

Op,

That is an awful thing to happen to you. Please stay away from this guy. Next time he could do something worse to you, so please dont put yourself in that situation. Find yourself a nice guy who has respect for you and thinks more of you than to bring you out the back of a building. My advice to you is find yourself someone who is worthy to take your virginity, it is something you are only going to lose once so make it special and memorable in a good way!!

LegacyUser

This has to be a troll!

Should you dump someone for sexual assault? Ehhhhhh.........

MagicMarker

lolli wrote: »

Op,

That is an awful thing to happen to you. Please stay away from this guy. Next time he could do something worse to you, so please dont put yourself in that situation. Find yourself a nice guy who has respect for you and thinks more of you than to bring you out the back of a building. My advice to you is find yourself someone who is worthy to take your virginity, it is something you are only going to lose once so make it special and memorable in a good way!!

Errrr...... Disregarding the last part of the OP's post, which i think we'd all agree is unforgiveable. I think i missed the part where the op said this guy dragged her into the alley way, maybe she should have more respect for herself, rather than blaming the big bad man eh?

MCMLXXXIII

I think you led him on...whether you meant to or not.

Send a clear message and break up with him.
From the sounds of it, you already have.
Even if I was married to someone, and had already slept with them, I still think it would be wierd if he gave you a "pearl necklace."

Phaetonman

I can't vouch for the OP but I know for a fact htis happens and its no laughing matter.

When I was 18 I went to party full of druggie students. Made the mistake of falling asleep only to be woken up at 8am with some crusty squirting her woman juice all over my armpits.

briantwin

I would say OP the best thing you could do is stay away from this lad.....Unless he agrees to buy you a welding mask and some shower gel etc.

Jesus, they youth of today. i wish they were sleepier back in my day. I woulda seen more action, even if they didn't!

Captain Slow IRL

Phaetonman wrote: »

some crusty squirting her woman juice all over my armpits.

I don't know whether to laugh or cry.

OP, he's a slime-ball, stay away.

ApeXaviour

If I fell asleep while a girl was undressing me, I'd say she'd well be in her rights to go off and have a ****. Though preferably not on me, if such an analagous situation could occur.

colly10

Dump him, no question, your a virgin and he was putting too much pressure on you then he goes and does this. He's scum, you'd have to be not right in the head to stay with him.
Id go as far as to say that your probably not safe with this lad, i mean ye only know him

Gary ITR

MCMLXXXIII wrote: »

I think you led him on...whether you meant to or not.

Wether you lead somebody on or not it's no excuse for emptying your sack over somebody when they're sleeping.. I know being left 'hard up' is frustrating but jesus christ.

colly10

Onkle wrote: »

Wether you lead somebody on or not it's no excuse for emptying your sack over somebody when they're sleeping.. I know being left 'hard up' is frustrating but jesus christ.

Ye just cause he felt he needed to do that doesn't mean he had to do it over her

MCMLXXXIII

Onkle wrote: »

Wether you lead somebody on or not it's no excuse for emptying your sack over somebody when they're sleeping.. I know being left 'hard up' is frustrating but jesus christ.

I was just telling the OP so that she can (hopefully) avoid a similar situation in the future.

OP - Next time someone does that to you, in an alley or anywhere else, that is when you should say STOP, and make him leave. Don't wait until he is already in your home while you are drunk. It's a dangerous situation (that is his fault), and you don't need to be in it.

Queen-Mise

OP, you are playing with fire and you are very lucky you were not being raped when you woke up. What the lad did was very wrong, and also a bit strange.

I am a woman, and I know I am sounding very harsh here, but it sounds like you are a prick tease.

You seem to be sending out some very mixed messages.

dudara

Posters, stay serious and stay on topic. Next flippant remark will incur some wrath.

dudara

chuci

this story made me laugh out loud. op you do sound like a pick tease if you let him un do your dress in an alley and said nothing to him even though you were not happy with it. why would you allow it to happen again at your house?anyway just dump him the pearl necklace is just too weird to even get into.

star-pants

This is most curious - just because you say you are a virgin and that you weren't "too happy" about what happened before you went back to your place.
To be honest - going behind a building and half stripping isn't something a lot of people would do. If you weren't happy you should have said "Stop".
You then let him come home with you? Why would you bring him home if you were uncomfortable with what just happened? You let it happen again on the couch when you knew you didn't want anything further to happen. Again "stop" is something you should use.

It's horrible that you woke up to that - and I wouldn't go near him either, that's not behaviour anyone should follow.
I feel sorry that you experienced this but take it as something to learn from. Stand up for yourself next time and don't let things be led down that direction.

DD

hahaha, of course, he is a perverse and he wants only sex from you

Queen-Mise

DD wrote: »

hahaha, of course, he is a perverse and he wants only sex from you

+ 1

Tar.Aldarion

I think he should dump you.


Guess the missing word.

ThE_IVIAcIVIAIV

on?

Gary ITR

Tar.Aldarion wrote: »

I think he should dump you.


Guess the missing word.

He probably managed to clean that off before she woke :eek:

Wibbs

OK folks I think we've established a few things and made the obvious points. Such as the situation may or may not be, constructive stuff from now on, OK?

aidan24326

unreg_thursday wrote: »

I was totally disgusted and told him to leave, I've not answered his calls all week. am i overreacting or should i dump him, i'm totally disgusted over what happened.

You're not overreacting as such, he sounds dodgy, but you aren't blameless here either. It sounds like you weren't exactly fighting him off despite your claims to squeaky clean virginal purity. Next time just say no, and if you're not comfortable with a guy I think it's only stating the obvious that you shouldn't be bringing him home, though that obviousness was apparently lost on you that night.

Dont be at yourself

The OP seems like a bit of a ... tease. If you lead a guy on by allowing him take off your clothes and kiss you all over, and again on a couch before 'kind of falling asleep' (what??), then, really, what was the expected outcome?

Men's libido isn't an on-off switch. If a man is highly aroused, it's only going to end one way: spooge. Whether it's by his hand or yours is really up to you.

AJG

Its your right to hold on to that virginity for as long as you want. But from your post you seem to have ended up semi-naked down an alley and in your own home. Like Nancy Reagan 'Just say no'. Don't give him any excuse and by the sound of it you've been leading him on in some way ending up in such compromising positions.

Maybe you should tell the guy to try this if he can't control himself.

http://www.vbs.tv/video.php?id=823490101

If he can't act civil you know what to do.

MrPillowTalk

snyper wrote: »

I doubt its a troll ive heard of this many times.

One asshat i know through a friend was living in OZ and he was there for months.. he lived with this girl he claimed was a "prick tease"

On his last night he was leaving for the airport, he called the taxi.. bags were in the cab.. asked the cabbie to wait a min.. he ran up stairs into her bedroom and fired off a few knuckle children onto her head while she was sleeping, and left.

Nice guy eh?
I only know one thing.. if she was my sister id...:mad:

My Hero that ll teachher

Wibbs

MrPillowTalk, hardly helpful so if you've nothing constructive to add, add nothing.

MIN2511

I seriously lol when i read this, it's funny but it caused you distress hence you posting on boards. Few questions for ya
You made it clear you didn't want to sleep with him, but kissed him and allowed him pull your dress down e.t.c. As a girl, i know it can be difficult to say No when in that situation, but you should have stopped him once you got uncomfortable.
Even after that you still took him home, made out with him again and you didn't confront him about the earlier incident?


Right, you teased this dude and he couldn't help it and he did what he did, you have a choice of ignoring him and you have from your thread. Just sum it up as a bad experience and move on...

Tigger

i feel that upon reflection you should dump him he is obviously quite strange

its not you fault also you need to be more assertive and not take your cloths off out of politeness
also don't go to sleep with strangers around

CrazyNoob

MIN2511 wrote: »

Right, you teased this dude and he couldn't help it and he did what he did, you have a choice of ignoring him and you have from your thread. Just sum it up as a bad experience and move on...

I'd agree OP sent out very mixed signals, especially taking him home after the first incident why would you do that????

But he coudnt help it??? imo he could help it, his trousers didnt fall down by themselves. Its a pervy thing to do, he doesnt really know her that well
OP I'd steer clear of him

MIN2511

CrazyNoob wrote: »

I'd agree OP sent out very mixed signals, especially taking him home after the first incident why would you do that????

But he coudnt help it??? imo he could help it, his trousers didnt fall down by themselves. Its a pervy thing to do, he doesnt really know her that well
OP I'd steer clear of him

I don't dispute about the perviness of the situation and he could have controlled himself, but someway and somehow i believe the OP is ommiting information. If she didn't know him well enough why did she take him home with her? IMO you don't take strange men to the gaff, make out with them, allow them to spend the night and not sleep with them.

Anti

Kaldorn wrote: »

I actually laughed out loud when i read this which doesnt happen often in personal issues,I dont believe you i am sorry there are a few things here that dont quite work out, you are a virgin at 24...unlikely but still maybe.

If you are a virgin i presume its for a good reason which would lead me to believe that you wouldnt let a guy pull down your smalls in an alleyway,this is not virginal behaviour,third of all you were gettin busy on the couch and dozed off??? WHAT? hw must have been really russish at kissing/touching for you to "doze off" and then you wokr up to him with his lad in hand aiming at your face..sorry op but something is wrong here can you be a bit more concise?

Have to agree, I was waiting for the fresh prince of belair at the end of the OPS post.

Pigletlover

What this guy done was definitely pervy, but I don't think the OP is blameless. She let him undo her dress and kiss her all over her body (behind some building :eek:). She says she wasn't too happy about this - did she ask him to stop? And why did she bring him back to her place to make out again? The bit about falling asleep sounds a bit strange too. OP dump him and be more careful in future.

Predhead

Onkle wrote: »

Least it was only a stealth wa*k op, could have been much worse

HAHAHAHA

I agree this is gas. But not at the same time!

Predhead

Also no follow up post from the OP....hmmm.