brother depressed

LegacyUser

hey all

i have a younger brother (17) who told my other brother last night that he was suicidal. he had a few drinks in him at the time.

we had noticed he was a bit more withdrawn than usual the past few weeks, but when we try to talk to him about it, he won't say anthing. he did say to the other brother a few weeks ago he just 'didn't care' about anything anymore

he does ok in school (not pressured to do well and not doing leaving cert), has a lot of friends, going on holidays with his mates in 3 weeks (so has stuff to look forward to) etc,
as a teenager he doesnt have much money to go out and socialise, he plays the playstation a lot. although he does alright socially. he works one night a week but spends all this money on cigarettes, although my mam supplements him where she can (we havent much money).

to get him out of the house, my mam has been encouraging him to go back to football but he just said 'maybe', he refuses to see a consellor (he saw one before when our parents were sepearting a year ago and didnt find it helpful - we suspect as he wouldnt talk to her).

there has been a lot of family stuff going on this year; nephew died, father is alcoholic with history of depression ( he doesnt live with us anymore) - all this has obviously effected him.

just want to know how to help him?
he wont open up to anymore apart from the odd comment to my other brother and won't see a consellor. i told my mam to force him to see a consellor, but she said we can't force him.
what can we do?

ronbyrne2005

Maybe talk to his closest friend? Many people felt suicidal during life but most don't do it so don't be too worried yet. The fact he is mentioning these feelings is a good sign as many his age won't say anything and just attempt suicide or self harm.
I would try and talk with him and ask him to attend a GP and psychiatrist. Try and make him realise that suicidal feelings are common and will usually pass in time and things can and do get better. It's hard to say what will be most appropriate course of action without getting more information about his character but at least just let him know you are all there for him and help is available if he wants to get treatment from a doctor/psychiatrist/psychologist. A straightforward counsellor may not be qualified or experienced enough to deal with him. Also get him to put the samaritans phone number into his phone. Maybe he would go along to GP with older brother/friend/mother and discuss the problem and treatments/help available.

Kooli

I agree with some things the last poster said in reply to the OP, but disagree with others.

Firstly, I don't think it would be a good idea to talk to his closest friend. That's too much to lay on the doorstep of a 17 year old, and he would feel responsible for your brother, thinking you were asking him for help.

Secondly you should absolutely take this seriously. Although it's true that a lot of people talk about suicide and don't do it, it's also true that most people who eventually complete suicide have mentioned it to someone before they did it.

I think it's really important that you are supportive and gentle towards him, and tell him that while suicidal thoughts and feelings are relatively common, that's no reason he should have to put up with those thoughts and feelings when there is help available to him - he has every right to feel better. Let him know that you are taking what he said very seriously and not making light of it. Give him a while to think about getting help, try not to nag him. Talk to him about what kind of help would be best for him. Encourage him to go to the GP and give him the option of going alone or having someone come with him.
Keep showing him you care in the most non-judgmental way you can.

It's so difficult to see someone you care about feeling depressed, and I imagine you feel quite powerless. Best of luck with it.