do you reckon its a good idea to tell a really good friend you like them?

LegacyUser

right, heres the deal, in college, and just after christmas me and my girlfriend broke up, she was from back home. (im living in dublin now, but not originally from here). and after this i started to get close to a girl in a group of friends that i hang around with, like just as friends. i didnt have feeling's for her or any thing. but now a few months down the line i am absoutly mad about her, and i get the feeling she feels the same, but what im not sure o, is should i just wait it out longer and see what happins, or tell her. this has been going on for about.... 7 weeks id say, maby longer, its hard to distinguish the point when it switched from friends to more!

Beruthiel

OP
We do not do polls in PI.

We only ever regret the things we didn't do.
Ask her out on a date.

tbh

if she says yes, it's a good idea.

If she say no, it's still a good idea.

RedXIV

Longer you wait the more your likely to enter the "friend" zone. don't do that. ask her out

DaveyGem

tbh wrote: »

if she says yes, it's a good idea.

If she say no, it's still a good idea.

Never a true-er word was spoken


Tread carefully ye could end up with a bit of proverbial egg on your face.

That said it nearly worked for me once..nearly

LegacyUser

the thing is though, if she doesnt.... i dont want it to go sour, if ya get me! like i dont want to **** up what we have totoally! so one more question,,, if i need it, any advice on damage control?

RedXIV

This is easy, what you're doing is you're presenting a situation to her which would involve just the two of you right? maybe invite her over for a dvd. if the vibes are good, go with it, if she's not budging, say it was just coz you were bored and were looking for company

tbh

colgate wrote: »

the thing is though, if she doesnt.... i dont want it to go sour, if ya get me! like i dont want to **** up what we have totoally! so one more question,,, if i need it, any advice on damage control?

that's the call man, you can say nothing and wonder for ever, or risk a bit of embarrassment for a bit and ask her.

Basically, what can go sour? You don't want things to go sour -i.e. if you ask her out and she says no, you can't ask her out again, right? but if she says no, she was never going to say yes anyway. So what have you lost? Months of wondering, that's all.

btw, if she's as nice as you say she is, and she doesn't like you, she's going to be flattered if you ask her out, and probably feel a bit guilty that she says no. She's not going to belittle you, and if she does, lucky escape.

Try not to make a big deal out of it, you're not asking her to marry you, all you want to do is see how things go. It may turn out that you don't like her.

yermandan

tbh wrote: »

Try not to make a big deal out of it, you're not asking her to marry you, all you want to do is see how things go. It may turn out that you don't like her.

On the money.

You have to play it cool OP. Its great that you have built a solid grounding with this girl and as tbh says, if she is the caliber of person that you would seriously like to consider a relationship with, and she says no, then she will treat the situation with dignity and try her best to ensure that your friendship remains and grows.

Take the chance, all going well you will have her in your life either way

-Dan

meditraitor

Go for it man...... no regrets

i-digress

Life is short. If you don't ask her you won't be going out with her, if you do you might be. Flirting may be the best way to get an idea of how the land lies. If it goes wrong make a joke about it, and tell the others in your group first before she does. Best of luck

Overheal

If you feel this way now how do you think its gonna be in another 7 weeks? Grab life by the horn (;)) make your intentions clear.

Tigger

yes

Dimitri

If you've strong feelings for her and don't act you may end up resenting her and loose a good friend. If ya get drunk some night and put the moves on her and shes not interested you'll be rejected and it could spoil your friendship. However if you come out straight and ask her out, she still might say no, but aside from a bit of slagging there is no reason yer friendship couldn't remain strong. Plus there is always the chance she might say yes, but please please don't decide to get drunk some night and try it on, it can work out so badly. Oh ya and if she does say no to you asking her out at least you'll have a clear cut answer, no more wondering!

Chochese

are you sure she's not seeing anyone herself?

Overheal

Chochese wrote: »

are you sure she's not seeing anyone herself?

Ep ep ep! thats quitter talk :pac:

doesn't matter I think; you should let her know how you feel, regardless. You may be worried it will change the friendship but by your own admission OP its moved on to confusing new levels either way. You have to respond in kind.

LegacyUser

Chochese wrote: »

are you sure she's not seeing anyone herself?

yea im sure she isnt!!

thanks for all the replies people!

hope ye have good days!

towel401

RedXIV wrote: »

Longer you wait the more your likely to enter the "friend" zone. don't do that. ask her out

the friend zone is a terrible thing indeed.

Aurora Borealis

Just do it. Nothing ventured, nothing gained etc.
Then again I've always been a firm believer in wearing my heart on my sleeve and it hasn't always done me any favours but still life's too short not to say how you feel!

arbeitsscheuer

Just ask her. What's the harm? Life's too short to wonder about "what-if's", and even if she says no you're basically in the same position you are now except without the uncertainty.

Good luck mate!

funkycat83

found this among the threads somewhere and i think it suits your situation perfectly

"Fear is temporary,Regrets are forever"


go for it

bronte

I'd do it op, It'd kill me not knowing what might have happened.