Sacrilegious moments

jester77

Brothers, what have you seen that has made your jaws drop to the floor in utter horror!

In a bar at the weekend and one of my buddies ordered a Guinness and this is how he got it :eek:



A feckin Coke glass!

princess-lala

Thats not a pint though or is it?:eek:

grames_bond

wait a minute....that has already been drank, which means in the first place he ordered a GLASS of guiness! thats sacrilegious in itself!

Galvasean

I think the fact taht it is a glass is teh sacrilegious part?

Zaph

And the fact that it looks purple suggests that there has been blackcurrant *spit* added to it.

ChewChew

Zaph wrote: »

And the fact that it looks purple suggests that there has been blackcurrant *spit* added to it.

i likes the guinness but only with teh blackcurrent

grames_bond

Zaph wrote: »

And the fact that it looks purple suggests that there has been blackcurrant *spit* added to it.

disgraceful!!

jester77

It's a 0.5L Coke glass and there could well be Blackcurrant in it, this guy is American and I recall him getting Blackcurrant in it before on previous occasions. There is just so many things wrong there... and he thought it was fine!

grames_bond

jester77 wrote: »

It's a 0.5L Coke glass and there could well be Blackcurrant in it, this guy is American and I recall him getting Blackcurrant in it before on previous occasions. There is just so many things wrong there... and he thought it was fine!

did you tell him he was wrong?!

jester77

grames_bond wrote: »

did you tell him he was wrong?!

Too right I did, but he just shrugged, said it was fine and kept drinking!

Gaspode

jester77 wrote: »

Too right I did, but he just shrugged, said it was fine and kept drinking!

Life-long ban from BGRH surely required here for your mate?

Wibbs

That's not good. He must be fierce secure in himself.:D Actually forget that a gay mate of mine that's as camp as a row of tents overheard another mate of mine order a glass of guiness and the withering look he gave him while saying "that's just wrong" when he returned with said glass was priceless.:D

Max_Damage

So what? I drank beer out of a mug before. Once it's in some sort of container and i don't have to lick it up from the table, I don't care.

grames_bond

jester77 wrote: »

Too right I did, but he just shrugged, said it was fine and kept drinking!

but it's not fine! its NOT!!

Slow Motion

Max_Damage wrote: »

So what? I drank beer out of a mug before. Once it's in some sort of container and i don't have to like it up from the table, I don't care.

You see there are two pints to be made in this thread. While you refer to drinking beer from a mug, that's OK if you are at home/camping/living in a doorway, in which case it's a case of any porter in a storm and perfectly acceptable!

However if you are in a public house and recieve the above example, your only honerable option is to pour the beer over the barmans head and then smash the glass so no other self respecting brother can find himself subject to such and indignity!

grames_bond

Slow Motion wrote: »

You see there are two pints to be made in this thread. While you refer to drinking beer from a mug, that's OK if you are at home/camping/living in a doorway, in which case it's a case of any porter in a storm and perfectly acceptable!

However if you are in a public house and recieve the above example, your only honerable option is to pour the beer over the barmans head and then smash the glass so no other self respecting brother can find himself subject to such and indignity!

+1 here here, spot on, spoken like a true publican!

Galvasean

I have a confession to make. The other day my sis made me a cup of tea. Now it was the most delicious cup of tea I ever tasted. i couldn't for the life of me figure out why, then I realized, it was decaf! :eek:

She didn't but bourbon or nothin' in it neither! :pac:

grames_bond

Galvasean wrote: »

I have a confession to make. The other day my sis made me a cup of tea. Now it was the most delicious cup of tea I ever tasted. i couldn't for the life of me figure out why, then I realized, it was decaf! :eek:

She didn't but bourbon or nothin' in it neither! :pac:

so when did you become a wimmins?


LL

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>

Zaph

Galvasean wrote: »

I have a confession to make. The other day my sis made me a cup of tea. Now it was the most delicious cup of tea I ever tasted. i couldn't for the life of me figure out why, then I realized, it was decaf! :eek:

She didn't but bourbon or nothin' in it neither! :pac:

GTFO!!!

Galvasean

If it earns me back any points I scalded her with the very kettle she used to make said sacrilegiously tempting beverage!

grames_bond

Galvasean wrote: »

If it earns me back any points I scalded her with the very kettle she used to make said sacrilegiously tempting beverage!

thats a lie isnt it?

Dun laoire

You lads have missed the point here. The barman was absolutely spot on. If a MAN goes and asks for a glass of guinness with blackcurrant he deserves it in a coke glass. Well done to the barman

Zaph

Dun laoire wrote: »

You lads have missed the point here. The barman was absolutely spot on. If a MAN goes and asks for a glass of guinness with blackcurrant he deserves it in a coke glass. Well done to the barman

No, you've missed the point. If a man asks for a glass of Guinness with blackcurrant the barman should bar him immediately or risk having scorn heaped upon him by his fellow barmen for serving such a drink.

Dun laoire

Zaph wrote: »

No, you've missed the point. If a man asks for a glass of Guinness with blackcurrant the barman should bar him immediately or risk having scorn heaped upon him by his fellow barmen for serving such a drink.

Barman cannot take responsibilty here. He did the best he could possibly do to discourage the punter from ordering same again. Shame on anybody that holds that poor man at fault.

Galvasean

Dun laoire wrote: »

Barman cannot take responsibilty here. He did the best he could possibly do to discourage the punter from ordering same again. Shame on anybody that holds that poor man at fault.

It was YOU who served him, wasn't it!?!?

Oh and grames, it was a accident

Dun laoire

Galvasean wrote: »

It was YOU who served him, wasn't it!?!?

Oh and grames, it was a accident

Ha. No but if i was to i would've put a straw in it, just to rub it in

grames_bond

Galvasean wrote: »

Oh and grames, it was a accident

oh it was a accident was it now?! what you said "hey sis, put your hand here"

Galvasean

Something like taht

kevmy

In fairness to barman if the perpetrator ordered a glass of Arthurs finest the barman may have gave him a look, leaned in closer and whispered 'Are ya sure?'. Upon receiving an affirmative response he may have reluctantly served it, perhaps thinking there may have been a wimmins in the WC. After rather innocently serving it, in a Coke glass to ensure such a thing would never happen again, the cowardly customer may then have reached for one of those bottles of blackcurrant MiWadi (that the wimmin use) left along the bar and proceeded to dilute *shudder* the perfect porter.

I can only assume however that the barman has noting this crime and will not in future serve such a character in future.

Gaspode

Zaph wrote: »

No, you've missed the point. If a man asks for a glass of Guinness with blackcurrant the barman should bar him immediately or risk having scorn heaped upon him by his fellow barmen for serving such a drink.

This should be tested (I vote you to do it) in Yore Mas to proved the validity of your arguments!

IanCurtis

I was in Langkawi in Malaysia in 2006 and a guy was drinking a GLASS of Guinness with no head on it to speak of THROUGH A STRAW.

He may as well have been giving me the two fingers.

The Bollox

Brothers, about 3 years ago when I was working in a bar this wimin asks for a glass of the black stuff. I had to swallow hard before turning to the tap with a half-pint glass while muttering "wimmin!". so I handed her the drink and what does she do? she grabs a straw, a f*cking straw, and starts drinking the guinness though it.

then, and this is the killer, she has the gall to ask me how us Irish drink Guinness, that it tastes 'orrible (she was french :rolleyes:). I couldn't stop myself, I said scathingly "we don't use a straw"

jester77

I remember being in a bar when a few US tourists ordered pints of Guinness. Barman does the first pour, leaves them settling on the bar and takes their money for them. Then he comes over to take my order and what do we see but the tourists drinking the 3/4 filled unsettled pints :eek:

Overheal

jester77 wrote: »

I remember being in a bar when a few US tourists ordered pints of Guinness. Barman does the first pour, leaves them settling on the bar and takes their money for them. Then he comes over to take my order and what do we see but the tourists drinking the 3/4 filled unsettled pints :eek:

Makes sense, but it leads us to The Greatest Blasphemy of All: In America, they can't pour a Guinness to save their own mothers! The Pint is always poured straight down the glass, and right to the top. There is no settle, you are just handed your swirling pile of poo and asked to part with your money.

jester77

Overheal wrote: »

Makes sense, but it leads us to The Greatest Blasphemy of All: In America, they can't pour a Guinness to save their own mothers! The Pint is always poured straight down the glass, and right to the top. There is no settle, you are just handed your swirling pile of poo and asked to part with your money.

Unfortunately it's common over here as well

Slow Motion

IanCurtis wrote: »

I was in Langkawi in Malaysia in 2006 and a guy was drinking a GLASS of Guinness with no head on it to speak of THROUGH A STRAW.

He may as well have been giving me the two fingers.

The Bollox wrote: »

Brothers, about 3 years ago when I was working in a bar this wimin asks for a glass of the black stuff. I had to swallow hard before turning to the tap with a half-pint glass while muttering "wimmin!". so I handed her the drink and what does she do? she grabs a straw, a f*cking straw, and starts drinking the guinness though it.

then, and this is the killer, she has the gall to ask me how us Irish drink Guinness, that it tastes 'orrible (she was french :rolleyes:). I couldn't stop myself, I said scathingly "we don't use a straw"

There are some sick, sad and twisted individuals in this world:(

grames_bond

jester77 wrote: »

I remember being in a bar when a few US tourists ordered pints of Guinness. Barman does the first pour, leaves them settling on the bar and takes their money for them. Then he comes over to take my order and what do we see but the tourists drinking the 3/4 filled unsettled pints :eek:

hahahahaha, brilliant, good aul yanks!

Seth Brundle

jester77 wrote: »

Brothers, what have you seen that has made your jaws drop to the floor in utter horror!

In a bar at the weekend and one of my buddies ordered a Guinness and this is how he got it :eek:



A feckin Coke glass!

Guinness should only ever be served in a tulip glass. No excuses!
As for using straws, Diageo themselves (from what I heard) actively encourage you to take the drink away from the person and to lodge a complaint with bar security.

deswalsh wrote: »

Life-long ban from BGRH surely required here for your mate?

I dunno. Psychologists reckon that they can convert child abusing perverts so maybe with enough help and therapy from BGRH, blackcurrant sippers can overcome their problems?

IanCurtis

jester77 wrote: »

I remember being in a bar when a few US tourists ordered pints of Guinness. Barman does the first pour, leaves them settling on the bar and takes their money for them. Then he comes over to take my order and what do we see but the tourists drinking the 3/4 filled unsettled pints :eek:

Hahaha that's magic :pac::pac::pac:

I can see exactly why it made sense to them though!!!

Naos

Overheal wrote: »

Makes sense, but it leads us to The Greatest Blasphemy of All: In America, they can't pour a Guinness to save their own mothers! The Pint is always poured straight down the glass, and right to the top. There is no settle, you are just handed your swirling pile of poo and asked to part with your money.

I was in Hawaii in August 07. Went into a pub at around 1 or so and proceeded to ask the barman if he can pour a proper 2 pint of the black stuff.

"No" says he and a look of sadness came over my face like this guy -

Alas, his friend overheard this exchange and announced that he can pour a 2 pour pint and my face turned to this - :pac:

What happened next resutled in this face :eek: followed by the repeat of this face

He looked at me brazenly, pint glass tilted and began to pour the pint. I could practically taste it as it streamed from the tap and hit the bottom of the glass, rising in a glorious looking pint. He stops at the mark, leaving it to settle. 1 second later he makes the second pour and then hands me over the pint...

I parted money and wearily carried my pint from the bar

jester77

Naos wrote: »

I was in Hawaii in August 07. Went into a pub at around 1 or so and proceeded to ask the barman if he can pour a proper 2 pint of the black stuff.

"No" says he and a look of sadness came over my face like this guy -

Alas, his friend overheard this exchange and announced that he can pour a 2 pour pint and my face turned to this - :pac:

What happened next resutled in this face :eek: followed by the repeat of this face

He looked at me brazenly, pint glass tilted and began to pour the pint. I could practically taste it as it streamed from the tap and hit the bottom of the glass, rising in a glorious looking pint. He stops at the mark, leaving it to settle. 1 second later he makes the second pour and then hands me over the pint...

I parted money and wearily carried my pint from the bar

Reminds me of a time I was in a pub in Greece. Late in the night and I fell into this bar, I see the Guinness tap and I ask the barman if he has Guinness. He says yes and proceeds to pour. Out of the Guinness tap comes a lager and he hands it to me. I tell him that's not Guinness and he points to the sign on the tap :eek: What a barman!

jester77

So I was out West at the weekend. Sitting in a bar around 3 o'clock Sunday having a few quiet ones when in walks an American tourist.

"Can I get a Guinness shandy please?"

Needless to say, alot of heads turned. Bar girl looks at him in befuddlement and asks whats a Guinness shandy and he replies,

"Guinness with white lemonade"

She told him you can't do that and she wouldn't serve it to him, so he ended up getting a real Guinness instead. Fair play to her... the customer is not always right!

Shiminay

Once convinced a guy I worked in a bar with that you could make a Guinness Shandy with Coke and Guinness

The most offensive thing I was asked for at a bar was a "decafinated Irish Coffee." I looked at the guy with disgust and said "and do you want non-alcoholoc whiskey with that?" to which his mates started roaring laughing and I made an Irish coffee.

KamiKazi

jester77 wrote: »

I remember being in a bar when a few US tourists ordered pints of Guinness. Barman does the first pour, leaves them settling on the bar and takes their money for them. Then he comes over to take my order and what do we see but the tourists drinking the 3/4 filled unsettled pints :eek:

American tourists eh, I saw an (Irish) wimmins do this yesterday only to be laughed at by 4 guys when she returned to the table

Parsley

Last August I was at a debs, a friend of mine's friend's date cancelled so I said I'd go with her. Didn't have to pay for a ticket or nothin, and she was a fine young thing. Anyways, we're just before dinner and I'd finished my first beer, and the tasty yoke I'm accompanying offers to buy me another drink. I say, "sure thing, dollface" and send her on her way with a nice pat on the arse. What she returned with was unholy I tells ya.



With an umbrealla and strawberries on the rim. She wanted in my pants, so I threw the umbrella, straw and strawberries on the table and downed it so as not to insult her hospitality. I'm not a proud man...

danniemcq

worst glass of guinness i got was one on Tory Island (the hotel doesn't seem to have Guinness glasses) they gave me a Heiniken one with the head down about a quarter of the way if not more. i have a photo of it somewhere must dig it up

grames_bond

danniemcq wrote: »

worst glass of guinness i got was one on Tory Island (the hotel doesn't seem to have Guinness glasses) they gave me a Heiniken one with the head down about a quarter of the way if not more. i have a photo of it somewhere must dig it up

:eek: bastards!!