Great Life, so why so unhappy?

LegacyUser

I'm not sure where I'm going with this so will just dive right in.

On the outside I have a great life, it would seem anyway.

I have a wonderful wife who I love dearly and who loves me more than I can imagine, We live in a great new house that we just built, I have a new job that pays well, just started it and it seems to be working out ok.

I have a great family and loads of close friends. I would consider myself an fairly easy going, popular person. we moved to a new area last year and already have loads of friends.

so why do I feel so down all the time? Outwardly I show no sign of this and can be the life and soul of the party, yet inside, in my heart and in my head I often feel that life is so pointless...I have thought loads of times down through the years about ending it all...for myself I don't care but have always felt an overwhelming feeling of guilt that has stopped me taking it any further...I know one day that I propbably will.

The last few days I have been very down, I have faked sickness and not gone to work.....I just feel so, how would I explain it...tired of life, I have become so lazy cause I see no point in alot of things anymore.

sorry for rambling on.

RedXIV

This sounds like something you should definitly consider taking therapy for.
There is undoubtfully SOMETHING causing this and from what you have written, i can't fathom what it could be.

Best bet, go look into councilling. If you don't feel like it, remember how many people are depending on you.

All the best

Red

jd83

Maybe your bored and just in need of excitement. Its hard getting to where you are saving for house and married live so maybe you need a break or a holiday or to do something different than you would normally do.

oldhairyman

DEPRESSION......thats what you are feeling.having suffered from depression for the last year, you sound like you have similar symptoms.
my advice:
1)Go to your doctor and explain how u feel (write down everything on paper at home and bring it to the doc and read out your problems)
2)Get some antidepressants, they are miraculous. you may have a chemical inbalance that is causing you to feel low
3)Get someTherapy. You may have some underlying issues that you are unaware of that make you feel this way.

Overall you're not feeling 100% so why suffer when there is no need. Trust me, i know, get help now!

Beruthiel

oldhairyman
This is not a medical forum, please do not suggest the taking of any kind of drug in here, you are not a doctor.

whysounhappy
Your best bet is to go to your GP, have a chat with them and explain how you feel. They will suggest your best course of action.

How Strange

OP, it is possible that because you feel 'you have it all' that there is nothing left to work towards?

I honestly think that most of us live such comfortable, consumerist, middle class existences that there doesn't seem to be a value placed on the things that should count such as family, good mental health, friends and in general just being content with our lot. We are always rushing around trying to get perfect this, that and the other so we can prove our status in society that when we acheive them it just seems hollow.

I think you should try to ground yourself by doing some work with a charity like SVP or Focus Ireland. Give your time to help the people who've been left behind in society and it may give you a new perspective on life. Also, get out in nature. Take your kids for a walk in the woods, go alone for a walk, sit by the beach, lie in the grass on a sunny day and feel the sun on your face, hug a tree.

Consider therapy too but I sometimes think that therapy is the middle class way of buying peace of mind and contentment when in fact we have just lost our way.

Maybe this is just my own personal opinion but I really feel that we've lost the ability to value things and value our relationships with those around us. Our focus is so much on immediate gratification that we no longer have the time or the patience to appreciate the more simple things. They just don't give you the same 'hit' as spending money and acquiring things.

Moss

RedXIV wrote: »

This sounds like something you should definitly consider taking therapy for.
There is undoubtfully SOMETHING causing this and from what you have written, i can't fathom what it could be.

Best bet, go look into councilling. If you don't feel like it, remember how many people are depending on you.

All the best

Red

Why does there have to be something causing it? Have you not heard of endogenous depression? I've posted on boards about this repeatedly. Have a look at my post on bulimia at the bottom of this page. The fact of the matter is that 60% of people admitted to psychiatric hospitals with depression can identify no cause at all for why they are depressed. [Source: Professor Patrick McKeon, Coping with Depression and Elation, Sheldon, 1995].

Who are you to recommend counselling? Have you given the OP a psychological or psychiatric assessment? What exactly do you expect a counsellor to say that is going to lift the OP's mood? Counselling can be useful when someone is experiencing difficult circumstances, e.g. after a beareavement or break up of a relationship. Its not recommended for treating depression. Cognitive Behaviour Therapy, which is something different from counselling, can be useful.

The OP has said he cannot identify a cause for his depression, therefore what is there to talk about in counselling? Many counsellors spend their time with patients looking for reasons that just aren't there.

The OP may need to be on medication. He should see a GP, get a proper diagnosis and treatment.

How Strange wrote:

OP, it is possible that because you feel 'you have it all' that there is nothing left to work towards?

I honestly think that most of us live such comfortable, consumerist, middle class existences that there doesn't seem to be a value placed on the things that should count such as family, good mental health, friends and in general just being content with our lot. We are always rushing around trying to get perfect this, that and the other so we can prove our status in society that when we acheive them it just seems hollow.

That's great. Ignore the solid scientific evidence for the genetic and biological component to depression and come up with some mumbo jumbo theory instead. Well done.

RedXIV

Moss wrote: »

Who are you to recommend counselling?

Who are you to dismiss it?

Unless you have an in-depth knowledge of the OP's mental state, then by all means shoot me down but he doesn't know why he's depressed, counselling could very well solve his problems and i'd recommend it before medication.

If you have prior experience i will back down but just because i made an assumption, i don't think it's fair to knock it, or How Strange's opinion either

Moss

rory1983 wrote: »

Maybe your bored and just in need of excitement. Its hard getting to where you are saving for house and married live so maybe you need a break or a holiday or to do something different than you would normally do.

Are you actually aware that you are telling someone with suicidal thoughts that the solution to their problem is to go on a holiday? I mean you obviously (a) have never experienced clinical depression and (b) don't have a clue of what your talking about. Why don't you go and post on some other thread if all you have to contribute are simplistic silly ignorant suggestions for someone who could potentially kill himself.

The OP needs to see a doctor, get a proper assessment, diagnosis and treatment.

the_syco

whysounhappy wrote: »

in my head I often feel that life is so pointless...

...

I just feel so, how would I explain it...tired of life

Went through this myself a while back. Life felt boring. Changed my social life a bit, and made some sort of list of things to look forward to, and life was no longer boring, as I had stuff to look forward to.

Try planning a weekend with the lads, drinking, playing pool, chilling, in a month or two, and do small stuff till then.

BTW, wasn't suicidal... just felt empty. No other way to describe it, other than "bored".

Moss

RedXIV wrote: »

Who are you to dismiss it?

Unless you have an in-depth knowledge of the OP's mental state, then by all means shoot me down but he doesn't know why he's depressed, counselling could very well solve his problems and i'd recommend it before medication.

If you have prior experience i will back down but just because i made an assumption, i don't think it's fair to knock it, or How Strange's opinion either

Thats exactly my point. I'll say it again. The OP should see a doctor, get a proper assessment, diagnosis and if necessary - treatment.

It is perfectly fair. Counsellors are not qualified to treat mental illness period. There is a significant biological and genetic component to mental illness which necessitates the use of medication. It is malpractice for any doctor to recommend counselling alone for Major Depressive Disorder. If any doctor was to do this and not prescribe medication he/she would be open to litigation from the patient and censorship from the Ireland Medical Council.

This is a quote from Dr. Kay Redfield Jamison’s book, ‘Night Falls Fast, Understanding Suicide’. She is one of the world’s leading authorities on mood disorders.

“The complexity of the suicidal mind and brain demands for its care a complexity of clinical thought and treatment. Psychotherapy alone, if used without addressing or treating the underlying psychopathology or biological vulnerabilities, is generally unlikely to prevent profoundly suicidal individuals from killing themselves. The ability to diagnose psychopathology accurately and to refer patients to colleagues for medication when necessary is a nonnegotiable fundamental of good clinical practice. Not to do so is malpractice.”

With respect I don't think you know what you are talking about and you should leave it to the doctors.

RedXIV

Moss wrote: »

Thats exactly my point. I'll say it again. The OP should see a doctor, get a proper assessment, diagnosis and if necessary - treatment.

It is perfectly fair. Counsellors are not qualified to treat mental illness period. There is a significant biological and genetic component to mental illness which necessitates the use of medication. It is malpractice for any doctor to recommend counselling alone for Major Depressive Disorder. If any doctor was to do this and not prescribe medication he/she would be open to litigation from the patient and censorship from the Ireland Medical Council.

This is a quote from Dr. Kay Redfield Jamison’s book, ‘Night Falls Fast, Understanding Suicide’. She is one of the world’s leading authorities on mood disorders.

“The complexity of the suicidal mind and brain demands for its care a complexity of clinical thought and treatment. Psychotherapy alone, if used without addressing or treating the underlying psychopathology or biological vulnerabilities, is generally unlikely to prevent profoundly suicidal individuals from killing themselves. The ability to diagnose psychopathology accurately and to refer patients to colleagues for medication when necessary is a nonnegotiable fundamental of good clinical practice. Not to do so is malpractice.”

With respect I don't think you know what you are talking about and you should leave it to the doctors.

I accept you seem to know alot more about the subject of depression than I, you've proven that already, but look at others here in PI, for example,

Went through this myself a while back. Life felt boring. Changed my social life a bit, and made some sort of list of things to look forward to, and life was no longer boring, as I had stuff to look forward to.

where the same symptoms were described a remedy without medication was provided.

I'm not trying to stir you up but i just think that your solution is not necessarily the only one

Moss

the_syco wrote: »

Went through this myself a while back. Life felt boring. Changed my social life a bit, and made some sort of list of things to look forward to, and life was no longer boring, as I had stuff to look forward to.

Try planning a weekend with the lads, drinking, playing pool, chilling, in a month or two, and do small stuff still then.

I'm going to say much the same thing to you as I said to rory1983. Are you really suggesting that the solution to sucidal depression is simply to make a list of things to do. Do you think in the past two hundred years of psychiatric practice and experimentation that someone would not have thought of that?
Would you go in to St. Patricks or St. John of God's psychiatric hospital and tell someone bed bound with suicidal depression to make a list of things to do? Is that your solution?

I'll say for the third time. The OP should see a doctor, get a proper assessment, diagnosis and whatever treatment necessary.

PeadarofAodh

Moss wrote: »

Thats exactly my point. I'll say it again. The OP should see a doctor, get a proper assessment, diagnosis and if necessary - treatment.

It is perfectly fair. Counsellors are not qualified to treat mental illness period. There is a significant biological and genetic component to mental illness which necessitates the use of medication. It is malpractice for any doctor to recommend counselling alone for Major Depressive Disorder. If any doctor was to do this and not prescribe medication he/she would be open to litigation from the patient and censorship from the Ireland Medical Council.

This is a quote from Dr. Kay Redfield Jamison’s book, ‘Night Falls Fast, Understanding Suicide’. She is one of the world’s leading authorities on mood disorders.

“The complexity of the suicidal mind and brain demands for its care a complexity of clinical thought and treatment. Psychotherapy alone, if used without addressing or treating the underlying psychopathology or biological vulnerabilities, is generally unlikely to prevent profoundly suicidal individuals from killing themselves. The ability to diagnose psychopathology accurately and to refer patients to colleagues for medication when necessary is a nonnegotiable fundamental of good clinical practice. Not to do so is malpractice.”

With respect I don't think you know what you are talking about and you should leave it to the doctors.

This is an opinionated forum where the OP is asking for people's differing views on their problem. Stop acting so aggressively. Give your opinion and let others give theirs in peace.

How Strange

Moss wrote: »

Who are you to recommend counselling?
The OP has said he cannot identify a cause for his depression , therefore what is there to talk about in counselling? Many counsellors spend their time with patients looking for reasons that just aren't there.

The OP may need to be on medication. He should see a GP, get a proper diagnosis and treatment.

That's great. Ignore the solid scientific evidence for the genetic and biological component to depression and come up with some mumbo jumbo theory instead. Well done.

So who are you to fundamentally discount other people's posts as 'mumbo jumbo theories' while yours are sound and credible? I think you'll find on boards that all 'mumbo jumbo' theories and opinions are welcome as long as they follow the charter.

A little respect please.

Moss

RedXIV wrote: »

I accept you seem to know alot more about the subject of depression than I, you've proven that already, but look at others here in PI, for example,



where the same symptoms were described a remedy without medication was provided.

I'm not trying to stir you up but i just think that your solution is not necessarily the only one

Thats incorrect again. In the quote you posted the poster said he found life boring. That's not clinical depression. He simply found life boring.

Beruthiel

Moss wrote: »

Why don't you go and post on some other thread if all you have to contribute are simplistic silly ignorant suggestions for someone who could potentially kill himself.

Moss
If you have a problem with someones comment, report the post.
B

RedXIV

Moss wrote: »

Thats incorrect again. In the quote you posted the poster said he found life boring. That's not clinical depression. He simply found life boring.

But we don't know if the OP has clinical depression. Thats an assumption on your part no?

Moss

PeadarofAodh wrote: »

This is an opinionated forum where the OP is asking for people's differing views on their problem. Stop acting so aggressively. Give your opinion and let others give theirs in peace.

No I am giving my opinion forcefully. The reason I feel strongly about this is because I know the simplistic solutions many posters are putting forward cost lives. Its obvious that most people posting on this subject are ill-informed and have not experienced severe Major Depressive Disorder. I suffered with this illness for years and have been in the acute ward of a psychiatric home.

I am trying to make sure the OP sees a doctor, gets a proper assessment, diagnosis and whatever treatment necessary. Anything else could lead to tragedy.

Moss

RedXIV wrote: »

But we don't know if the OP has clinical depression. Thats an assumption on your part no?

Again, thats why he should see a doctor.

This is the diagnostic criteria for Major Depressive Disorder. The OP has described many of the symptoms. The OP should see a doctor and get it checked out.

At least one of the following three abnormal moods which significantly interfered with the person's life:

• Abnormal depressed mood most of the day, nearly every day, for at least 2 weeks.
• Abnormal loss of all interest and pleasure most of the day, nearly every day, for at least 2 weeks.
• If 18 or younger, abnormal irritable mood most of the day, nearly every day, for at least 2 weeks.

At least five of the following symptoms have been present during the same 2 week depressed period.

• Abnormal depressed mood (or irritable mood if a child or adolescent) [as defined in criterion A].
• Abnormal loss of all interest and pleasure [as defined in criterion A2].
• Appetite or weight disturbance, either:
• Abnormal weight loss (when not dieting) or decrease in appetite.
• Abnormal weight gain or increase in appetite.
• Sleep disturbance, either abnormal insomnia or abnormal hypersomnia.
• Activity disturbance, either abnormal agitation or abnormal slowing (observable by others).
• Abnormal fatigue or loss of energy.
• Abnormal self-reproach or inappropriate guilt.
• Abnormal poor concentration or indecisiveness.
• Abnormal morbid thoughts of death (not just fear of dying) or suicide.
• The symptoms are not due to a mood-incongruent psychosis.
• There has never been a Manic Episode, a Mixed Episode, or a Hypomanic Episode.
• The symptoms are not due to physical illness, alcohol, medication, or street drugs.
• The symptoms are not due to normal bereavement.

RedXIV

I'm not gonna argue with ya Moss, i can see you have OP's best interests at heart. I'm not in a position to gauge the situation well enough to determine a course of action. I'd LIKE to think that it's something simplier causing this feeling in him. and i can tell you i've gone through enough of those symptoms at once and i've never been diagnoised as depressed. But like i said, i'm not here to argue, you obviously are passing on the torch of experience and want to help and for that i respect you enough to back down

PeadarofAodh

Moss wrote: »

No I am giving my opinion forcefully. The reason I feel strongly about this is because I know the simplistic solutions many posters are putting forward cost lives. Its obvious that most people posting on this subject are ill-informed and have not experienced severe Major Depressive Disorder. I suffered with this illness for years and have been in the acute ward of a psychiatric home.

I am trying to make sure the OP sees a doctor, gets a proper assessment, diagnosis and whatever treatment necessary. Anything else could lead to tragedy.

I'm not a mod and I don't think the forum should descend into distracting, petty squabbles but you were being rude and unreasonably dismissive of other people's opinions. Be as forceful as you like but at least be civil.

I think some of the other posters' ideas sound very sensible - I have a good friend who suffers from depression and has been to the doctor for anti-depressants. It wasn't until I made a concerted effort to get him involved in different projects and social plans to get him motivated that he really started improving though. It doesn't always have to be "Run straight to a doctor". Why not go to a doctor and start making changes to your life as well?

Best of luck.

Moss

How Strange wrote: »

So who are you to fundamentally discount other people's posts as 'mumbo jumbo theories' while yours are sound and credible? I think you'll find on boards that all 'mumbo jumbo' theories and opinions are welcome as long as they follow the charter.

A little respect please.

OK, I'm providing references to back up what I'm saying. Your free to give your opinions if you want. I'm free to call them mumbo jumbo.

heavyheart

Moss wrote: »

OK, I'm providing references to back up what I'm saying. Your free to give your opinions if you want. I'm free to call them mumbo jumbo.

It appears your taking this post personally ? are you ?
Try your to forget your here to try and give advice to the op not pick holes in everyone else's posts.

Moss

PeadarofAodh wrote: »

I'm not a mod and I don't think the forum should descend into distracting, petty squabbles but you were being rude and unreasonably dismissive of other people's opinions. Be as forceful as you like but at least be civil.

I am being civil. I'm attacking other people's arguments not them personally. Looking back on my posts I was a bit too harsh on rory1983, its just his avice really annoyed me.

PeadarofAodh wrote: »

I think some of the other posters' ideas sound very sensible - I have a good friend who suffers from depression and has been to the doctor for anti-depressants. It wasn't until I made a concerted effort to get him involved in different projects and social plans to get him motivated that he really started improving though. It doesn't always have to be "Run straight to a doctor". Why not go to a doctor and start making changes to your life as well?

Best of luck.

I have no objection to the OP trying out what ever he wants to recover, as long as he sees a doctor and gets a proper assessment, diagnosis and whatever medical treatment necessary. So I'm agreeing with you.

The problem arises when posters recommend this and that and make no mention of going to the doctor. The most important thing the OP has to do is to go and see a doctor. There are a lot of other things that can help but without proper medical treatment the chances of recovery are greatly reduced.

Moss

heavyheart wrote: »

It appears your taking this post personally ? are you ?
Try your to forget your here to try and give advice to the op not pick holes in everyone else's posts.

Not at all. I am giving advice to the OP. If other people on boards are making simplistic and misleading suggestions which I believe could be harmful then by refuting them I am helping the OP.

NoQuarter

Moss youve actually made me depressed reading your posts with your attitude, good man.

LegacyUser

thanks to everyone who has replied and given me advice so far.

please don't argue over it.

I feel a bit embarassed about going to a doctor about it. I wouldn't know how to talk to someone about it really one to one i'd say.


to be honest I think sometimes all I need is a kick up the arse and get on with living, there are people in worse situations than me and you don't hear them moaning about it.

Kooli

Moss, what's happening here is you have decided you are absolutely sure what is going on for the OP, so anyone who suggests it MIGHT be something else you shoot down as being wrong.
The fact is, you might be wrong, they might be wrong. So why not back off, cos we all get what you think now.

I am a psychologist myself and I would not dismiss the possibility that this person MIGHT NOT need medication.
Any responsible counsellor he attends would refer him to a GP or psychiatrist if they thought it was needed, but it could be a number of other things.

I have dealt with NUMEROUS clients who think that there is 'no reason' for their depression. That doesn't meant there isn't. He needs to explore these feelings a bit further.

And counselling is not necessarily the opposite of CBT. Counselling is a generic term, and includes all types of therapy.

But of course, I don't know (but at least I'll admit that!). And of course, a GP is always a good start.

Kooli

Sorry OP, I got so caught up in Moss's tirade I forgot to reply to you directly.

Firstly let me say how sorry I am to hear what you're going through, and for the fact that you seem to be carrying all these difficult feelings by yourself. That sounds like a very lonely position to be in, and I'm sure it makes you feel a bit distance from your wife whom you clearly love. I'm glad you've shared the feelings with us, it seems like you are really on the road to getting the bit of help you need.

You say outwardly your life is perfect, and the way you describe it makes one question pop to mind - how do you feel about yourself? Do you feel you deserve all the love and success you seem to have at the moment? Or do you sometimes feel like a fraud? Or that if people knew the real you (who is not always the life and soul of the party) you wouldn't be as loved as popular as you are? How do you feel about who you are, as opposed to what you have or what you have done?
Now you may dismiss all those questions as irrelevant, but it's just what I wondered when I read your post. I wonder if you criticise yourself a lot, and I wonder what words you use to criticise yourself, or what names you call yourself. That might give you a clue.

But again, none of this might be relevant because I really don't know you.

I hope you decide to go to the GP and tell them what you've told us, and best of luck with it.

raemie21

^^^
+1 That's really good advice Kooli and what I was thinking too as I read the original post but don't think I could have expressed it as well.

Moss, I understand where you're coming from and I know you meant well with what you brought to the thread. When you experience or even work in the area of mental health, you obviously acquire more knowledge and develop a better insight into the relevant area than the typical person (as is true for most jobs?). I suppose for issues as serious as mental health/depression/emotional well being, it's quite natural to get involved in other people's situations and get on the high horse, gasping in horror at other people's apparent ignorance. But perhaps take a step back and acknowledge where others are coming from - no one here was trying to mimimise the OP or give half-hearted solutions to his problem. Nor indeed was anyone here trying to brush off the idea of depression or whatever. People offer advice on their own lived experiences to help others and the OP. And of course you are trying your best to ensure that others do not have to go through what you did, hence you offered your advice to the OP. Everyone means well and that's the point of this forum basically.

OP, hope things work out okay. Go to your GP and say exactly as you've said here - he's heard it a thousand times before and I say that, not in the sense that ah sure everyone has their problems but in the sense that it is a valid medical query and no need to feel uncomfortable or weird having to discuss it with him.

Nevyn

whysounhappy have you thought about giving some time to others ?
some charity or voluntary group be it from 4 hours in a charity shop to a youth group in the area or working with the Simon community.

It will give you a different focus and you can feel that you are making a difference in the world around you.

How Strange

Moss wrote: »

OK, I'm providing references to back up what I'm saying. Your free to give your opinions if you want. I'm free to call them mumbo jumbo.

Moss, you seem to know your stuff alright but shoving it down people's throats as a dogma and hogging a thread is not the way to go about it.
As I said before, boards allows ALL people to express views and opinions and allows other people to argue back but always with respect and civility.

OP, I'm not against medication, doctors and counselling but I do think there are always other ways and means of overcoming depression which may compliment medicine and therapy.

I heard this interview on Marian Finnucane a few months ago, he was a clinical psychologist and while undergoing cbt and other therapies during his training uncovered repressed memories which led to years of depression. He said that getting in touch with nature has healing properties so walking the same route every day throughout the year can be good for a depressed person as they see the seasons turning and it does register with them.

You should see if you can find a podcast of the interview as I think you would find it insightful. He was speaking about depression not just as a sufferer but as a psychologist too. I can't remember the exact date but I think it was late Jan/early Feb.

Moss

How Strange wrote: »

Moss, you seem to know your stuff alright but shoving it down people's throats as a dogma and hogging a thread is not the way to go about it.
As I said before, boards allows ALL people to express views and opinions and allows other people to argue back but always with respect and civility.

I'm just presenting what I know has emerged from objective scientific research. As I said before, you are free to give your opinions and I am free to call them mumbo jumbo if that is what I believe they are. There is nothing lacking in respect or civility about that. If I used bad language and commented on you personally that would be different.

How Strange wrote: »

OP, I'm not against medication, doctors and counselling but I do think there are always other ways and means of overcoming depression which may compliment medicine and therapy.

You are right. Exercise has been shown to be helpful for mild depression. Giving up alcohol is another thing you can do as alcohol it makes any depressive illness worse. There is some evidence that St. John's Wort is of benefit. However, that is different to some of the 'complimentary' medicine out there for which there is no evidence at all.

How Strange wrote: »

I heard this interview on Marian Finnucane a few months ago, he was a clinical psychologist and while undergoing cbt and other therapies during his training uncovered repressed memories which led to years of depression. He said that getting in touch with nature has healing properties so walking the same route every day throughout the year can be good for a depressed person as they see the seasons turning and it does register with them.

I think the idea of recovering repressed memories is complete rubbish. That is part of the psychoanalytic view. There is no evidence that psychoanalysis is of benefit in the treatment of depression. Dr. Anthony Claire, the recently deceased famous Irish psychiatrist said "psychoanalysis was the greatest fraud of the 20th Century". I think he was absolutely right. If you want my advice if anyone starts talking about 'repressed memories' or any other such psychobable run a mile. Then run another mile to be sure.

Crazy Catlady

I think How Strange summed it up perfectly in his/her first post.
We spend a lot of time getting to where we need to be. Be it a good job, a nice home, a partner or family relationship. These things take time. So when we get there, what else is there to strive for?
Soem people fill the gap with "stuff". Some people fill it with drink or drugs or whatever. Some fill it with hobbies.
It would be no harm to have a chat with a doctor. I'd imagine many of the people they see have a variation of your feelings at some time or other in their lives. There is no need to be embarassed.
I'd also recommend finding a voluntary position. There is something great about doing something that makes you feel like you are making a difference, and of being a part of something bigger than your self.
You;ll have a fresh appreciation for all that;s good in your life. Gratitude for your life and the people in it really does change how you feel.
Best of luck

How Strange

Moss wrote: »

I think the idea of recovering repressed memories is complete rubbish. That is part of the psychoanalytic view. There is no evidence that psychoanalysis is of benefit in the treatment of depression. Dr. Anthony Claire, the recently deceased famous Irish psychiatrist said "psychoanalysis was the greatest fraud of the 20th Century". I think he was absolutely right. If you want my advice if anyone starts talking about 'repressed memories' or any other such psychobable run a mile. Then run another mile to be sure.

That's YOUR view of psychoanalysis Moss but that interview on Marian Finnucane received phenomenal responses from people suffering with depression because it proved that even the so called experts with all their medical training were vulnerable to it and that there are practical every day steps to deal and cope with depression. So while it may seem irrelevant to your theories of treating depression it did reach out to many sufferers.

That's the end of my discussion with you because it's unfair to the OP who is looking for some advice not an off topic discussion of differing views on the treatment of depression.

RealEstateKing

What people often fail to understand is that "Depression" means feelings of unhappiness that havent got anything to do with how good or bad one's life actually is.

A very small amount of people actually suffer from it. Yet doctors hand out happy pills like Smarties to cure it.

Feeling unhappy is often totally natural: Having a job that the OP says 'pays well' tells us nothing about whether he likes that job or not. Having a house and a wife tells us nothing about the quality of their relationship. In Ireland nowadays it is often assumed that these outwardly visible things actally are happiness itself, when really they are mere froth.

Happiness comes from 2 major things as Uncle Freud said: Love and work. That love is for your partner, your children, you friends and humanity in general, and work from doing something that uses talents and makes you feel like a whole human being for doing so, regardless of how much it pays.

Moss

How Strange wrote: »

That's YOUR view of psychoanalysis Moss but that interview on Marian Finnucane received phenomenal responses from people suffering with depression because it proved that even the so called experts with all their medical training were vulnerable to it and that there are practical every day steps to deal and cope with depression. So while it may seem irrelevant to your theories of treating depression it did reach out to many sufferers.

The fact is that there is no evidence whatsoever that psychoanalysis can help someone recover from depression. It is supposed to be a long term treatment. Psychoanalysts themselves claim it takes five years to get any benefit. Yet they have never been able to produce any research to show that it works. Why? Because it is a collection of theories, none of which can be substantiated. For example I could say to you that you have a desire to sleep with your mother. You would deny it. I could then say you have repressed this desire. Either way I win. This is the kind of horse manure that psychoanalysts go on with. It is not recommended by psychiatrists as a treatment, even a complimentary treatment, for mental disorders.

What do you mean the experts were vulnerable to it? Do you mean it messed with their mind? Is it some sort of vodoo thing?

There is nothing practical about psychoanalysis. Professor Patrick McKeon has written in his book 'Coping with Depression and Elation', that therapy of the analytical kind would actually be harmful during a bout of depression, because it would be stretching the patient to understand complex ideas when they desperate and exhausted.

How Strange wrote: »

That's the end of my discussion with you because it's unfair to the OP who is looking for some advice not an off topic discussion of differing views on the treatment of depression.

By debating these issues we are educating the OP. Its less likely he will be mislead by poor and simplistic advice which so many people are eager to give.

Moss

RealEstateKing wrote: »

A very small amount of people actually suffer from it. Yet doctors hand out happy pills like Smarties to cure it.

Totally incorrect. Aware, the support organisation for people who suffer from depression in Ireland, has used much of its research funding to do extensive community surveys. I don't have the exact figures because I'm in work but I remember the figure being close to 10% (that had experienced or were experiencing depression). Only 1/3 of people who suffer from clinical depression in Ireland consult a GP. http://www.ireland.com/newspaper/health/2001/0122/01012200056.html

Doctors are not handing out Smarties to cure it. If you read Dr Kay Redfield Jamison's book 'Night Falls Fast, Understanding Suicide' she identifies an important cause for suicide. She found that among those that completed suicide it was much more likely that their antidepressant would be underprescribed or the patient would not be compliant with treatment. Patients are much more likely to commit suicide at the beginning of pharmalogical treatment, before the anti-depressant effect has kicked in.

RealEstateKing wrote: »

Feeling unhappy is often totally natural: Having a job that the OP says 'pays well' tells us nothing about whether he likes that job or not. Having a house and a wife tells us nothing about the quality of their relationship. In Ireland nowadays it is often assumed that these outwardly visible things actally are happiness itself, when really they are mere froth.

Happiness comes from 2 major things as Uncle Freud said: Love and work. That love is for your partner, your children, you friends and humanity in general, and work from doing something that uses talents and makes you feel like a whole human being for doing so, regardless of how much it pays.

Great. No more mental illness. Will you go and tell the people in St Patricks and St. John of God's psychiatric hospital. Find someone in St. Patricks hospital that has set themselves on fire. Tell him all he needs is love and work. The psychiatrists will be delighted.:D

Dudess

RealEstateKing wrote: »

A very small amount of people actually suffer from it. Yet doctors hand out happy pills like Smarties to cure it.

While I agree Moss is being quite heavyhanded here, I hate simplistic generalisations like the above. They're always being thrown around without any back-up. People do need anti depressants.

Moss

Kooli wrote: »

Moss, what's happening here is you have decided you are absolutely sure what is going on for the OP, so anyone who suggests it MIGHT be something else you shoot down as being wrong.
The fact is, you might be wrong, they might be wrong. So why not back off, cos we all get what you think now.

No I haven't decided I'm totally sure. Thats why he should see a doctor, to get a proper assessment. Yes you all get what I think. If were all agreed the OP should see a doctor then there is no problem.

Kooli wrote: »

I am a psychologist myself and I would not dismiss the possibility that this person MIGHT NOT need medication.
Any responsible counsellor he attends would refer him to a GP or psychiatrist if they thought it was needed, but it could be a number of other things.
.

A person may not need medication, but only a doctor can decide that. Its not your call. If there is any reasonable possibility that a client of yours has a psychiatric illness you are obligated to refer them to a medical practicioner. Not to do this, apart from being ethically wrong, would leave you wide open to litigation.

Kooli wrote: »

I have dealt with NUMEROUS clients who think that there is 'no reason' for their depression. That doesn't meant there isn't. He needs to explore these feelings a bit further.

I have experience of this. Everyone experiences some adversity in life, its unavoidable. When psychologists talk about "exploring" issues this can often mean finding something, anything, or someone to blame for the problem. This ignores the massive research literature on the biological and genetic basis for mental illness. If someone says there is no identifiable cause then in all likelihood they are right, as research has shown that mood swings are 70% genetic. Personally, I think this business of "exploring" causes that some poorly educated and poorly trained psychologists go in for is total charlatanism.

Kooli wrote: »

And counselling is not necessarily the opposite of CBT. Counselling is a generic term, and includes all types of therapy.

Yes the word counselling is sometimes used to refer to all types of therapy, but usually counselling refers to sort of talk therapy someone gets after a bereavement or break-up. CBT on the other hand is applies specific techniques for psychiatric illness.

Trojan

Plenty above talked about depression/theraphy/counselling, so I'll mention a complimentary idea: the search for purpose/goals/meaning in your life. I highly recommend this book as an interesting read on the subject: The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari. If you read the reviews, you'll see there are as many critics as fans, so if you get a chance, pick it up in your bookshop and skim through the first 40-50 pages.

Kooli

Let's just say Moss that I'm glad you're not a GP!

I'd love to hear more from the OP, because that might get things back on track rather than it being a back and forth between Moss and everyone who Moss thinks is wrong!

the_syco

Moss wrote: »

Are you really suggesting that the solution to sucidal depression

I do believe I stated I wasn't suicidal. I stated that I felt, for lack of a better word, bored with life. In the OP, he stated that he felt life was pointless. As he stated his life was pointless, it reminded me of when I was "bore" with life. T'was feeling empty at the time.

=-=

Oh, and your a poster on the net, so I'll treat you like a poster on the net. IE: you may use the words of a qualified person, but it doesn't mean you are qualified.

Moss

Kooli wrote: »

Let's just say Moss that I'm glad you're not a GP!

I'd love to hear more from the OP, because that might get things back on track rather than it being a back and forth between Moss and everyone who Moss thinks is wrong!

Could you explain why you are glad I'm not a GP? Stop talking in tongues.

Moss

the_syco wrote: »

I do believe I stated I wasn't suicidal. I stated that I felt, for lack of a better word, bored with life. In the OP, he stated that he felt life was pointless. As he stated his life was pointless, it reminded me of when I was "bore" with life. T'was feeling empty at the time.

Yes but you suggested that what can work for someone who is "bored with life" could work for the OP who may well have clinical depression.

the_syco wrote: »

Try planning a weekend with the lads, drinking, playing pool, chilling, in a month or two, and do small stuff till then.

I mean really.

the_syco wrote: »

Oh, and your a poster on the net, so I'll treat you like a poster on the net. IE: you may use the words of a qualified person, but it doesn't mean you are qualified.

I'm not qualified. I'm just someone who has learnt about depression through suffering from it. The OP, or any one else on boards, should not take my advice, if they think they are suffering from depression, they should see a doctor. Thats exactly the point I've been making all along.

littlefriend

Moss - I feel that you are being extremely abrasive - I think everyone knows how you feel now and appreciates that you have personal experience dealing with depression. Can we calm down now? The OP came here to air his feelings not to start all this.

OP - I think earlier posters were trying to help in their way by focusing on you saying that you feel life is pointless and about you feel down etc.. Some people may feel that maybe a Doctor doesn't always have all the answers and that you may have the resources within yourself to change how you feel. No harm in suggestions right? Sometimes though, it is frustrating when people over simplify what is going on with you. I hope you didn't feel that is what anyone was doing - not everyone has experience with real depression. Then again, sometimes we can be making a big issue of something small in our heads and we need someone to click us out of that frame of mind.

As lots of people have said you should speak to a GP about how you feel. You mentioned that you would feel strange speaking to your own GP - is there another one in the area that you could go to maybe? One thing I'd recommend is that when you make your appointment ask for a double time slot. If you are rushed you might not be able to get how you feel across properly.

I have seen a lot of Dr's/Consultants etc over the past couple of years and some of them are impatient and/or intimidating. What I have started doing is writing down everything I need to say before I go - then if I have trouble speaking or something like that I can give the Doc the list or read off it myself to make sure everything is covered. Might sound crazy but it really helps.

Have you had a look at the long term illness section in Sci/Biology and Medicine forum?? You may find the people who post there have more experience with what you are going through.

If you have any questions or anything that you'd like to ask feel free to PM me. I can really relate to what you said in your original post and I've come out the other side so to speak.

Take Care
x
x

MysticalSoul

littlefriend wrote: »

Moss - I feel that you are being extremely abrasive - I think everyone knows how you feel now and appreciates that you have personal experience dealing with depression. Can we calm down now? The OP came here to air his feelings not to start all this.

Well put.

Moss

littlefriend wrote: »

Moss - I feel that you are being extremely abrasive - I think everyone knows how you feel now and appreciates that you have personal experience dealing with depression. Can we calm down now? The OP came here to air his feelings not to start all this.

OP - I think earlier posters were trying to help in their way by focusing on you saying that you feel life is pointless and about you feel down etc.. Some people may feel that maybe a Doctor doesn't always have all the answers and that you may have the resources within yourself to change how you feel. No harm in suggestions right? Sometimes though it is frustrating when people over simplify what is going on with you. I hope you didn't feel that is what anyone was doing - not everyone has experience with real depression. Then again, sometimes we can be making a big issue of something small in our heads and we need someone to click us out of that frame of mind.

As lots of people have said you should speak to a GP about how you feel. You mentioned that you would feel strange speaking to your own GP - is there another one in the area that you could go to maybe? One thing I'd recommend is that when you make your appointment ask for a double time slot. If you are rushed you might not be able to get how you feel across properly.

I have seen a lot of Dr's/Consultants etc over the past couple of years and some of them are impatient or intimidating. What I have started doing is writing down everything I need to say before I go - then if I have trouble speaking or something like that I can give the Doc the list or read off it to make sure everything is covered. Might sound crazy but it really helps.

Have you had a look at the long term illness section in Sci/Biology and Medicine forum?? You may find the people who post there have more experience with what you are going through.

If you have any questions or anything that you'd like to ask feel free to PM me. I can really relate to what you said in your original post and I've come out the other side so to speak.

Take Care
x
x

Believe me I'm perfectly calm. I'm just adamant the OP sees a doctor.

I'm not going to apologise for being abrasive to anyone who distracts attention from the fact that someone suffering with depression needs proper medical treatment.

Very good post otherwise.

heavyheart

Moss wrote: »

Believe me I'm perfectly calm. I'm just adamant the OP sees a doctor.

I'm not going to apologise for being abrasive to anyone who distracts attention from the fact that someone suffering with depression needs proper medical treatment.

Very good post otherwise.

Im actually sick of reading your posts , there not constructive and your not posting for the benefit of the OP at all so maybe you should just stop. You dont always have to have to last word it which it seems your trying to do.

MysticalSoul

heavyheart wrote: »

Im actually sick of reading your posts , there not constructive and your not posting for the benefit of the OP at all so maybe you should just stop. You dont always have to have to last word it which it seems your trying to do.

I agree. You seem to think that only your view matters, and that everyone else is wrong, even those of us who have experiences which may help the OP. I get that you feel strongly about something, but how you are coming across on the board is that you are using bullying tactics. End of.