bloody hell im a wimp

Nerin

so yes, im not even going un reg for this.

tonight was a party for my american friend at his house as he is leaving thursday.(im still a bit drunk)
so it was all fine until my best friend exploded on me. she yelled at me about not letting her use my phone to call her bf (who always calls me or one of the girls when shes out here,as she never has her phone)<i also felt bad later after he didnt phone back and said she could but she refused>

the thing that seyt her off was some guy that crashed the party the american didnt like,and i (being big and able for a fight) threw the guy out,although she got in a big power trip and kept trying to be in charge of getting him out.
i dunno, i left it, and when it was over she came in screaming bout the phone,the gate crasher, the fact im dropping out of college,everything.

our other friend was a star and she was great with me, (weve only been close a little while) but whatever it was triggered me and all this sadness is bucketing out. i feel like crap and was cryin my eyes out. eventually after holding it in i said i was leaving and friend 2 followed me, then friend 1 (the pperson that started it) followed and tried to sort it.

but i couldnt handle it and came home alone.
friend 2 is on her way now as she is worried, i just dunno what the hell is wrong.
1 why did my friend go off on me. she has a temper, but ion our 2 years on friendship has never been mean to me, and
2 what the hell is wrong, im a ball of nerves,im shaking with tears pouring out

Xavi6

Tbh mate I think the alcohol may be making things seem worse than they are. Hit the leaba, wake up in the morning and think about things then. Both yourself and herself will have clearer heads and everything will sort itself out.

jcoote

+1

everything is more dramatic and harder to deal with when u have a few scoops on board.

cHaTbOx

Maybe she just has some stuff goin on and with the drink she lashed out at the nearest person and you were just a bit shocked by seeing her that way towards you.It'll be alright in the morning.

Overheal

More importantly: There was a party with an American? And it wasnt me?

It sounds to me bringing the college thing up, or whatever way she worded it to you, was the trigger. Is that a sore point for you?
Well by now I imagine you have already spoken with your Number2 so a lot of this is off your chest.

I imagine the crying was down to stress. The college hanging over your head, her putting pressure on you and fighting your one wouldn't help things much either: fighting is one good way to stress yourself out. I also agree Alcohol just makes things worse again; the great Depressant.

I dunno what went on with the phone but lashing out about things like college is just a friend concerned. Been there, done that.

edit: take this to battle the shakes.

Caoimhín

Nerin wrote: »

2 what the hell is wrong, im a ball of nerves,im shaking with tears pouring out

What that is, and to give it its medical term, is "the heeby-jeebys" Its from too much booze and will pass after some sleep and food.

BaZmO*

All credit to drunken posts

Wibbs

First off the drink won't help. Jeez I had my emo moments in my youth I can tell you. I got the celtic melancholia staring into a pint version.

Nerin wrote: »

so it was all fine until my best friend exploded on me. she yelled at me about not letting her use my phone to call her bf (who always calls me or one of the girls when shes out here,as she never has her phone)<i also felt bad later after he didnt phone back and said she could but she refused>

OK the way I'd look at that is mate or no, if she was always asking me or others to use their phones, when she has one of her own I would point out to her that, you know, it might be a plan if she actually brought it. The clue is in the name, mobile phone. Make a a joke of it at first, "do I look like a phone box, OK I know I'm a big lad but..." sorta thing.

Then establish a boundary. If you don't you will be used for want of a better word and then people will get uppity if you don't fit into the box they've marked out for you. Going back later and offering the phone compounded that as you saw. You looked like a pushover. That's the point where the wimp factor kicked in, not the bawling your eyes out. Having a good cry does one the world of good, so don't knock yourself out over that.

You do need to have boundaries and establish them. Learn to say no basically. That comes hard to some as they're trying to be nice. Put it this way good mates know your boundaries and won't take the píss.

the thing that seyt her off was some guy that crashed the party the american didnt like,and i (being big and able for a fight) threw the guy out,although she got in a big power trip and kept trying to be in charge of getting him out.

Honest hat on? she sounds like a right immature little madam in that context. Her flipping at you adds to that opinion. To be fair to her it's highly unlikely she would have flipped at someone with well established boundaries.

i dunno, i left it, and when it was over she came in screaming bout the phone,the gate crasher, the fact im dropping out of college,everything.

You call this a friend?

our other friend was a star and she was great with me, (weve only been close a little while) but whatever it was triggered me and all this sadness is bucketing out. i feel like crap and was cryin my eyes out. eventually after holding it in i said i was leaving and friend 2 followed me,

You've cleary got shít going on in your life at the moment and it came to a head. Friend 1 seems to self centered to see it to the degree she needs to.

then friend 1 (the pperson that started it) followed and tried to sort it.

Too little too late IMHO.

1 why did my friend go off on me. she has a temper, but ion our 2 years on friendship has never been mean to me, and

You've given her too easy a time supplying her whims and needs I suspect. You've been passive in your dealings with her, the phone thing is but one example. This was how that came out. I'm not suggesting it's all the time or anything but if any mate of mine(male or female) pulled that once it would be bloody unusual. If it kicked off twice, game over. Same goes for me and them too.

2 what the hell is wrong, im a ball of nerves,im shaking with tears pouring out

You're going through a rough patch in your life, you had a friend go tonto on you and you were drunk. caoibhin diagnosed it well, the heeby jeebys. Today have a look at your life through the hangover and see where you can reduce those points that you need to.

jenga-jen

firstly *big hug*!

It's always really hard when stuff like this happens.

I'm a +1 on what previous posters have said: the drink and the tiredness are probably the major players in why you've reacted as badly to this.

Also in relation to the college references and the fact that your friend flipped the head you should consider that there are probably a lot of reasons this could've happened:
- concern albeit in the heat of the moment it came as a tirade :rolleyes:
- something else going on with your friend/bf, although this doesn't justify her actions AND/OR
- the demon drink!

I think best bet is to let the dust settle and meet up with your friend, possibly suss out the situation from friend 2 first (without any bitchiness obv!) and have a chat with her.

Hope you're alright this morning

*edit* Also you're not a wimp, if things like this wouldn't upset you I'd wonder what kind of superficial level your friendship was on

Gone West

All this horrible alcohol...
You drank a poison that has effects on your brain, and so did all your friends in some social manner "a party".
Excessive consumption of this noxious "ethanol" has temporarily altered your brain chemistry, and that of your friends.
As such, incorrect decisions and inappropriate things were done and said that would not normally have happened.
I get the impression of various agressive things happening that evening.
Now as the mind altering effects wear off you regret the evenings entertainment?

Well, since we can't yet change the past, I'd suggest you more carefully monitor your intake of alcohol in future and leave it at that, or else change your personality so that agressiveness won't come out everytime you are inebriated.

missmatty

Don't feel bad, same thing happened me last week. Away on hols with some friends and an ex, we were drinking all day. He starts picking on me when the others went home from the pub, keeps it up till I'm sat there crying in the pub. Then I got really angry because it was over something so petty. I was really upset for several days so am keeping off the drink and away from him for a while. I think when some people are drunk they can be really mean to close friends sometimes, it's handiest to lash out at someone you know.

RedXIV

+1 with everyone else really. especially about drink not making things any easier.

Also, Sounds like you had alot on your mind mate, especially with the college thing over your head, i realise that it can be a lot to take in and without friend support, near impossible to deal with. You probably won't even want to read these replies in the morning but if it helps, your def not a wimp (ya threw a guy out, that's MANLY! )

I dropped out of college. Felt like a pile of trash, that I had let everyone down. But then I realised that it was the best thing for me to do. It wasn't what I wanted with life, and that is what is more important.

Alcohol is a bitch. It has to be said. It can magnify the smallest of problems. And you are not a wimp. As has been stated, you threw someone out of an effin' party!

Redpunto

Only a real man can cry:D:D Seriously though it was the alcohol and all the other stuff going on in your head, dont worry bout it, happens to the best of us. I remember breaking down 1 boozy night coz my m and d dog had died:)

Nerin

damn it computers should me more complicated, to cut down drunk posts.
thanks a million to the posters i saw before friend 2 got here, calmed me down before she arrived.

had a great chat with her, although she says theres been something going on with me and friend 1 for weeks. ive no idea think im just gonna stay away from number 1 for a bit.

thanks to everyone. aw ya gotta boards.

Faith

Oh, drunken fights. I had a shouting match with my best friend last year in the middle of town at about 3am for no reason other than that we were both absolutely bolloxed drunk. She stormed off and I stood on the main street bawling crying for about 15 minutes. Man, was I embarrassed the next day... It was never really mentioned again either, we both just let it go.

Like the others have said, there may have been underlying issues but the alcohol no doubt exacerbated everything to exploding point. I wouldn't avoid friend 1, or confront her either. Maybe just call her and see what's going on.

son.of.jimi

Man tell me you floored that guy that crashed the party!

Nerin

son.of.jimi wrote: »

Man tell me you floored that guy that crashed the party!

:rolleyes:
lol

Wibbs

son.of.jimi Off topic posts or posts advocating or reveling in fisticuffs are not tolerated. Most grow past that stage. One warning is all you get.

Caoimhín

Wibbs wrote: »

son.of.jimi Off topic posts or posts advocating or reveling in fisticuffs are not tolerated. Most grow past that stage. One warning is all you get.

That is the correct decision Winns. However i think that in some curcumstances.. violence is acceptable as a solution to some of the personal issues discussed.

Nevyn

Violence is never an acceptable solution as far as this forum is concerned and those advocating it get banned.

Wibbs

Thaedydal wrote: »

Violence is never an acceptable solution as far as this forum is concerned and those advocating it get banned.

Exactly. Violence in the larger world is very rarely justified, it will not be tolerated here.

Back on topic.

son.of.jimi

should have put a disclaimer on my post!

eh me and nerin are actually best mates (listen to the bogcasts!!) and it was a private joke between us...

so I'll leave the PI forum for fear of one of our personal jokes offending somone.

Good day to you sir, good day!

Wibbs

son.of.jimi wrote: »

should have put a disclaimer on my post!

Yes you should have.

eh me and nerin are actually best mates (listen to the bogcasts!!) and it was a private joke between us...

Colour me psychic.

My warning still stands.

Back on topic.

Dragan

Big dude,

i know your feeling better today but make sure you have yourself a good quiet think about things. It strikes me that something is on your mind mate and it might not be very obvious to you right now.

It happens.

Overheal

Aye. Go find a nice zen spot and clear your head. I usually end up sitting somewhere along the river for that, myself. But if you have wheels the top of Killeshin is real good for it.

Nerin

oh S.O.J

anyway,update, went out tonight with a few people,including friend 2 to have some drinks with the american who is leaving tomorrow at 9am.

went without a hitch, friend 1 wasnt there,and there was no problems. a few friends know/were there when friend 1 exploded but have said nothing, friend 2 isnt pushing anything,just being really nice.

anyway its friend 1s birthday party tomorrow and im invited. i know if i go and ignore the badness,that it'll be fine, (she'll never admit to being wrong) but f i ont go it'll make it a bigger issue and she'll use it as ammo saying its all my fault theres this weirdness around us (still dunno why).

part of me (and friend 2) says i should be the bigger person and go, but more of me is saying why the hell should i go and feel like crap tomorrow and pretend its all ok.

*also,yeah,took some time out to be alone and think,helped calm me,didnt help me figure out what to do:o:p)

btw, thanks to everyone for the replies

MagicMarker

This is why women shouldn't drink.

OP: Have you thought about actually calling your friend, when sober of course, to actually ask what the problem is? It'll probably take all of 15 minutes and then everything will be out in the open and you can move on from there.

Nerin

MagicMarker wrote: »

This is why women shouldn't drink.

OP: Have you thought about actually calling your friend, when sober of course, to actually ask what the problem is? It'll probably take all of 15 minutes and then everything will be out in the open and you can move on from there.

if i do ask her what the problem is,(as i did that night) id be willing to bet any amount of money she will say "nothings the matter,i thought it was you"