Shock Revelation!!

LegacyUser

Going unreg for this...

I was out last week in a club with my friends etc and met this foreign girl, she was stunning, absolutely beautiful!! Spent the the nite talking, chatting etc... seemed like a very nice, fairly down to earth girl, loved a good time etc, nothing out of the ordinary.. So we ended up going back to her place... had a fairly wild night, more booze, sex etc..

She text me Friday seeing if I was interested in catching up again, obviously I was keen!! So we met up Saturday night, went to a bar that all my friends were at, none of hers were out this weekend... she met my friends, was a little shy, particuarly with the girls, as I have alot of girl friends and its the norm to give kiss on the cheek when I see them, purely platonic... she later admitted she felt a fairly jealous that I had so many friends as girls.. I'm thinking great... jealous of the girls=interested in me!! So after a lot of drinking, conversation she felt she needed to tell me something...

Having previously told me she was a student... she know reveals she actually works as an 'escort'/call girl!!?? I'm a fairly young guy, but have been through my fair share of sh*t, so I'm quite open minded and this did'nt actually shock me initially... very possibly because I had a few drinks on me.. so ended up going back to hers again, basically a repeat of Thursday night... When we got back to hers she showed me her on-line profile, various gadgets she has/uses with clients... so the next morning reality hit... I'm kinda seeing a prostitute..?!

I met her again yesterday evening, just for a coffee and kinda of talked about what she did... she has been doing this for about six years, basically makes sh*t loads of cash to support her parents and family back home... she has already purchased property back home and her brother is setting up a business that he wants her to become involved with.

I would never have suspected such a thing!! Amazing looking girl, turned every head in the bar on Sat, clearly very smart and I get on pretty well with her... given I only met her last week..

So here's the issues... I'm massively concerned about STD's!!! I asked her this when we talked about it, she says she gets checked regularly, and we wore a condom on both Thur and Sat anytime we did it... but I know that they are not 100% effective... and from what I've read alot of STD's can be transmitted from just skin to skin contact...

And secondly is it worth continuing to see this girl? Am I living in a dream world? I come from a wealthy background, and although I never give a sh*t what people think and often dont conform to what my parents or peers expect from me.. I feel this maybe abit too much... But just to add she is going home at the end of the month for the summer, back in September... 'business' apparently is'nt great during the summer months!?

Any thoughts or input would be seriously appreciated, many many thanks!!

Gummy Panda

I'd be worried about STD's too. I'd also be worried i'd fall in love with the girl. It would be hard to share the girl i love with another man. I'd also have insecurity issues with it.

All i can suggest is take it slow and think about where you see this relationship going.

Hagar

Get out before you get an invoice or the clap or both.
There is no future in a woman like that.
Sorry, it'll upset the PC brigade but that's how it is. A whore is a whore.

Toots

Gummy Panda wrote: »

I'd be worried about STD's too. I'd also be worried i'd fall in love with the girl. It would be hard to share the girl i love with another man. I'd also have insecurity issues with it.

All i can suggest is take it slow and think about where you see this relationship going.

The STD thing would be a big worry alright. If you do decide to keep seeing her, you'll have to make sure you're careful, don't let there be any drunken nights where you forget to use anything! Another thing you'll have to have a think about is if you do get serious about each other, can you deal with sharing her and if not, do you think she'd be prepared to consider a change of career? TBH, just because she's a prositiute doesn't mean things won't work out between you, but you will probably have to compromise and work at it a lot more than someone in a 'conventional' relationship.

Miss Fluff

Really depends how you feel as having a prostitute as a girlfriend. Honestly OP? I think you can probably do better than that and it might get really complicated if you start to fall for her....

Innervision

This would really only work in a f*ck buddy situation, and even then you have the STI worry, something to steer clear of I reckon unless she's the one who falls for you and gives it up. At least she was honest early on tbh.

biko

Although Hagar is rude he has a point. Will she keep working or is that it?
If she stops the business and you both clear a STD check I see no problem, unless you yourself has issues with her being a working girl in earlier life.
If she does not I don't give the relationship a snowballs chance in hell.
If she wants to prostitute herself to support her family that's her business, but I could not live with a woman knowing that. In the end she may start doing drugs to live with herself, are you going to support her then?

drunkmonkey

There's an auld saying that goes

"You can take the girl out of ballyfermot but you can never take ballyfermot out of the girl"

6 years is a long time to spend working in the one job....sounds like she's nearly had enough.....she's got her money made and a place back home.....it's probably tlc she needs now more than punters.....

If it was DrunkMonkey in your shoes he'd wrap up well and enjoy the ride....sounds like your in for an education....;)

TommyT

Do you really want a relationship with a hooker?
Imagine she had one of your mates as a client, how embarassing would that be?
Get out now, plenty more fish etc etc

towel401

Oh dear...

Time to GTFO.

Colonel_McCoy

Time to get the hell out of Dodge..............hope you were wearing a hood...regardless get down to the local clinic and get a test........

You must have been stirring half of Dublin's porridge!!

towel401

Colonel_McCoy wrote: »

You must have been stirring half of Dublin's porridge!!

LMAO. that made me lol irl!!

sharkie2008

the sti thing would be a real concern so if you did continue it you should also think about regularly getting checked yourself

as for the relationship side of things you need to think about it carefully. its one thing when its a casually relationship but consider what happens if you fall in love with her.
before worrying about what others would think you need to think about how you would feel having a gf in that line of work. do you really see yourself having no problem knowing what she does? personally i wouldnt like the thought of the person i love sleeping with someone else under any circumstance.


colonel lol but euwww

BigglesMcGee

I would back out straight away.
You never know what shes at.

Did it taste salty when you kissed her?:eek:

preilly79

i've a mate who's a doctor in one of the larger dublin hospitals. she sees many prostitutes a week and has said that any man who sleeps with any prostitute is taking huge chances.

some are clean, but the vast majority are not. it's not worth taking a chance. get yourself tested!

Gordon

Areyajokin?! wrote: »

she later admitted she felt a fairly jealous that I had so many friends as girls.. I'm thinking great... jealous of the girls=interested in me!!

A mate of mine dated a high class prostitute and in fact it was her jealousy over anyone female that was friendly with him that destroyed the relationship, not the prostitution aspects. It was jaw-droppingly hypocritical jealousy on her part and it turned my mate into a wreck afterwards. On the plus side he got married to a fantastic woman a year later.

I'm not saying that the same is true with her obviously. Good luck with whatever you do though.

dloob

I think a quote from the Argentinean in Moulin Rouge is actually appropriate

We have a dance in the brothels of Buenos Aires. It tells the story of the prostitute and a man who falls in love with her. First, there is desire. Then, passion. Then, suspicion. Jealousy. Anger. Betrayal. When love is for the highest bidder, there can be no trust. Without trust, there can be no love. Jealousy, yes, jealousy will drive you mad.

Wise words there Argentinean, think about how you would fell if she was still working while dating you?

corcaigh07

if shes wrapping things up, go for it. dont like the way she said business is slow, sounds like she has no intention of giving up.

ryoishin

Dublin is tiny your bound to bump into one of her clients at some stage when your out together.

seahorse

Well OP, as a former prostitute myself I have to say I feel for the girl. Relationships as a prostitute are a very difficult high-wire act; a man either has no problems, some problems, or big problems. In the latter two instances those problems will inevitably surface and ruin the relationship and in the former, well, a man who had no problems with that would not be worth getting emotionally close to.

My advice to you would be to tell her you don’t want to see her again, and tell her why. It’s clearly not a relationship you feel you can deal with and telling her the truth about that may go some way towards giving her the impetus to at least consider disentangling herself from the lifestyle.

As for the STI concerns; I never contracted an STI of any type, manner or variety in the seven years I was on the game, but then that was during the nineties and those were different times. From what I’ve heard there has been something of an STI explosion in the country in the last ten years, so it wouldn’t hurt to get yourself checked out if even just to put your mind at ease. Also remember to get re-tested some months from now as it takes some infections longer than others to show up.

Aside from her being a prostitute (difficult as it often is for people to imagine separating that component from the many other elements of a woman’s character) this woman sounds a bit unhinged to me. I think that she has displayed very illogical rationale by expressing her propensity towards jealousy this early on, especially since it was directed towards people who are simply friends of yours; all the while admitting she’s buttering her bread in a way that’s sure to make 99% of men jealous. It doesn’t sound to me like her brain is wired up in all the right places, but prostitution can do that to some people.

backflip

Cop on and read the charter. One warning is all you get.

LucasOli

Cop on and read the charter. One warning is all you get.

LegacyUser

seahorse wrote: »

Well OP, as a former prostitute myself I have to say I feel for the girl. Relationships as a prostitute are a very difficult high-wire act; a man either has no problems, some problems, or big problems. In the latter two instances those problems will inevitably surface and ruin the relationship and in the former, well, a man who had no problems with that would not be worth getting emotionally close to.

My advice to you would be to tell her you don’t want to see her again, and tell her why. It’s clearly not a relationship you feel you can deal with and telling her the truth about that may go some way towards giving her the impetus to at least consider disentangling herself from the lifestyle.

As for the STI concerns; I never contracted an STI of any type, manner or variety in the seven years I was on the game, but then that was during the nineties and those were different times. From what I’ve heard there has been something of an STI explosion in the country in the last ten years, so it wouldn’t hurt to get yourself checked out if even just to put your mind at ease. Also remember to get re-tested some months from now as it takes some infections longer than others to show up.

Aside from her being a prostitute (difficult as it often is for people to imagine separating that component from the many other elements of a woman’s character) this woman sounds a bit unhinged to me. I think that she has displayed very illogical rationale by expressing her propensity towards jealousy this early on, especially since it was directed towards people who are simply friends of yours; all the while admitting she’s buttering her bread in a way that’s sure to make 99% of men jealous. It doesn’t sound to me like her brain is wired up in all the right places, but prostitution can do that to some people.

This is the insight I was hoping to get, very much appreciated Seahorse!! I thought about it alot this evening, strangely I think could possibly deal with her past... I certainly would'nt make it public knowledge and if is was only between us then as long as we can work things out its all ok... however I certainly would'nt tolerate getting into a relationship with her where she would continue doing what she did... and as it stands she does'nt seem to have an proper exit strategy from this just yet. As some of you pointed out as well, the jealously issue it did register with me, initially it was flattering, but I can see how it could develop into a bigger issue. Again the STD thing still bothers me, and although I did wear a condom, looks like its off to the STD clinic just for a check... thats the last thing I need!

I took a proper look at her on-line profile again this evening in detail and seeing the list of things she does it was more than a reality check and the few reviews about her from past clients are serious wake up call... I just find the whole thing bizarre... this girl who speaks 4 languages, well travelled, educated, could easily be working as a regular 9-5... instead works as a prostitute. Its a total mind fu@k actually!!!!!!!!

Overheal

Hagar wrote: »

Get out before you get an invoice or the clap or both.
There is no future in a woman like that.
Sorry, it'll upset the PC brigade but that's how it is. A whore is a whore.

we've been here a dozen times in PI... whats once more right

Entirely up to yourself OP - its one of the more complicated situations that can rise up, so its not really for us posters to give you a black or white answer.

She seems into you so you have that working for you. You are right to be worried about STIs - you may wanna be checked yourself. Grand. You should both stay vigilant about that, its a good habit to have anyway.

Then if you can handle her sleeping with other people for money.. thats your other issue. And I imagine that could be a big one later down the road?

Its your call. You know yourself 90% of boardsies are against it, 5% are for/been there and the other 5% are unsure. (guesstimating)

Sherifu

Go for it OP.

JackieO

Did none of you seen Pretty Woman?????:D:D

Only kidding. I doubt this could work in the long-term. I would imagine it would be very hard to trust her/ have respect for her when the going gets tough.

Velvet Vocals

Oh my, that really is a tough situation to be in. But she sounds like she might be really nice and worth it.
I just don't know how you'd be able to share her with others? Has she discussed wanting to quit? Do you think you could be with her if she was an ex call girl?

Wibbs

Relationships are difficult. The more obstacles the more difficult it can be for two people. Long distance, emotional immaturity the list is long. This is a huge obstacle.

You're starting on the wrong foot from the get go. If she was willing to give this life up here is some chance although it's gonna be very hard even then. If she's not, then I personally think that sooner or later with the best will in the world this will go títs up. I think seahorse puts it well. Until she moves on from this life, no matter what the character of the man, it will loom over the relationship to a ridiculous degree.

Me? I wouldn't even consider it, no matter how great she was, because staying in that life would mean she wasn't in a good place mentally and emotionally.

An ex prostitute on the other hand, while hardly ideal for her as a back story is another deal entirely and in that case I would say give it a try. Not this though.

LegacyUser

Wibbs wrote: »

Relationships are difficult. The more obstacles the more difficult it can be for two people. Long distance, emotional immaturity the list is long. This is a huge obstacle.

You're starting on the wrong foot from the get go. If she was willing to give this life up here is some chance although it's gonna be very hard even then. If she's not, then I personally think that sooner or later with the best will in the world this will go títs up. I think seahorse puts it well. Until she moves on from this life, no matter what the character of the man, it will loom over the relationship to a ridiculous degree.

Me? I wouldn't even consider it, no matter how great she was, because staying in that life would mean she wasn't in a good place mentally and emotionally.

An ex prostitute on the other hand, while hardly ideal for her as a back story is another deal entirely and in that case I would say give it a try. Not this though.

Every relationship has obstacles. This one you know about from the start, and can deal with it from the start.

If you like her, and she likes you, then thats not something to throw away. You may regret it in later life. What if, 5 years down the road your still alone, have not found anyone you like as much as her, you will torment yourself saying "I should have been more patient".

The narrow minded views I have read on here are not a major surprise. Prostitution is a complicated issue, and may never be socially acceptable in this country. But the phrase "a whore is a whore" is just plain wrong. A junkie you pick up on Benburb street who will do anything under the sun for 50 quid, and a high class escort are 2 seperate things all together. She will have been careful regarding STD's as it will have a drastic effect on her career if she got one. She is not doing the job because she is a junkie, nor because she is mental, or emotionally unattached. She is doing it because she has a family abroad to support. She probably charges in the region of 250/300 euros an hour for company. An overnight session, costs the same as what you earn in a month. I bet she has been saving that away nicely, and wants to get out of it soon.

My advice: Talk to her. Ask her is she planning on getting out of the game? If so, your interested in a relationship. But only when she is finished working. Until then your happy to hang out and get to know her.

There are lots of people on this board who smugly give relationship advice, because they are in smug relationships. Some of us have lived life, and made good and bad choices and regret them. Dont end up in a relationship or on your own in years to come,wishing you had taken a chance with this

do you love it?

how much does she respect herself if she's sleeping with men for money???
i know she is lookin to make a quick bitta cash to help out her family, and its her choice to sleep with people for money, but it does say alot about her self respect

sunnyjim

This is absolutely absurd. Get the **** out of there. She's a whore. Literally.

Suzi D

I used to have social contact with what we call back home 'working girls' who were part of my circle.I always steered clear of them and in all honesty thought I was 'better' than them.Too long a story the situation that came up that changed my mind but there was a situation involving hundreds of people and the ONLY people there who reacted appropriately and had genuine care for the traumatised?You guessed it - those 'low life' hookers!
Salutary lesson for me.
STD's are a serious worry but in all honesty,a girl in her line of work is more likely to be careful than the 'girl next door'.
If you start a serious relationship with her it wpould be reasonable to ask her to change her job however!

themullet

How's it goin 'Areyajokin'?

STD's aside, do you like this girl? Forget about the sex and her past for a minute.. do you like her?

If you're interested in her and you'd be interested in giving it a go then I think you should talk to her. Perhaps she's had enough of the prostitution?? Noboby knows only herself.

But if I were you and I really liked her, I would talk to her and tell her how I feel and see what she says. But she obviously has to want to give up the prostitution.

All of the above going well then she can get tested for STD's. If she is really serious about you then she should have no problem with:

1. Giving it up.
2. Getting tested for STD's.
3. No sex with you until she has been tested.


The funny thing about this, is that I think she may really like you. The fact that she called you back.......because lets face it she probably has no shortage of fellas but also the fact that she told you about the prostitution so early.

It's up to yourself at the end of the day but I reckon you should talk to her and sus her out.

kmick

Id get out before you fall for this girl. She obviously has a lot going for her but the situation is too much of a head blaster. Imagine a scenario where one of your friends found out and used her services? Run for the hills.

Velvet Vocals

but... and I know this is going to sound very mushy and like someone who has actually watched pretty woman too many times (oh the shame:o) but doesn't she deserve to find happiness. Just because she was escort (I wish everyone would stop calling her a whore) does that mean that she should never have a happy relationship ever again?
I know there are lots of what ifs... like that one about about his friends having availed of her services before.... thats a pretty huge what if.... but maybe she's worth it?

Amanda

themullet wrote: »

How's it goin 'Areyajokin'?

The funny thing about this, is that I think she may really like you. The fact that she called you back.......because lets face it she probably has no shortage of fellas but also the fact that she told you about the prostitution so early.

Sorry but I find that really ridiculous. "Fellas" as you put it are her clients, are paying customers and not potential relationships, they are dollar signs in her eyes and that's it.

Tigger

don't walk - run

Sonderval

I'd maybe ask about her exit strategy to this business - sound her out at least. Like some people have said, she is a person and not a stereotype and if you like her, she likes you etc...

In saying that, DONT put your health at risk. Get tested yourself. Then you'd better figure out where to go with regards herself.

Good luck!

TerrorFirmer

The first thing to really consider is that this girl isn't just a prostitute, she's a person. It's actually good you met her first; now you realize that there's more to an individual in her scenario other then an unsavory social label. Prostitutes, obviously, differentiate between sex and love and the latter is the same for them as it is for you. The image of Prostitutes as disease ridden, social misfits in a dead end existence is strong but largely false. You can't just ask her to quit what she does, obviously very successfully, for someone she barely knows. Remember, she's connected to a web - good money, funding not only herself but her family and their interests too, which is going to be very important to her. If most men were offered extraordinarily large sums of money merely to have sex with women, prostitution as a career would suddenly become far less taboo.

If I was you, I'd talk to her about it. Ask her not how she got into 'the game', but how she feels about it, what her long term plan is and what her real life applicable qualifications are and how she hopes to utilize them. It might never work, but you never know. At the end of the day she's still just a woman susceptible to the same emotions as anyone else and could be worth your time.

aidan24326

TerrorFirmer wrote: »

The first thing to really consider is that this girl isn't just a prostitute, she's a person. It's actually good you met her first; now you realize that there's more to an individual in her scenario other then an unsavory social label. Prostitutes, obviously, differentiate between sex and love and the latter is the same for them as it is for you. The image of Prostitutes as disease ridden, social misfits in a dead end existence is strong but largely false. You can't just ask her to quit what she does, obviously very successfully, for someone she barely knows. Remember, she's connected to a web - good money, funding not only herself but her family and their interests too, which is going to be very important to her. If most men were offered extraordinarily large sums of money merely to have sex with women, prostitution as a career would suddenly become far less taboo.

If I was you, I'd talk to her about it. Ask her not how she got into 'the game', but how she feels about it, what her long term plan is and what her real life applicable qualifications are and how she hopes to utilize them. It might never work, but you never know. At the end of the day she's still just a woman susceptible to the same emotions as anyone else and could be worth your time.

Finally someone who talks a bit of sense.

OP, I would tread carefully obviously but this girl, escort or not, still deserves to be treated with some respect. She was honest with you very quickly, so must feel something for you.

The chances of this working out are not great tbh but I wouldn't just go dropping her like a ton of bricks without at least talking to her and sussing her out a bit more.

For all you know she may be fed up of that life anyway. Maybe she's being pressured by other people? You'll only find that out by talking to her more about her situation and what she intends to do. It would be worth that much of your time anyway. If she intends to continue being an escort then that's her choice to make, in that case your only realistic option is to head for the exit.

One other thing, if she did decide to quit escorting and possibly have a relationship with you (big big ifs of course) do not hold her past against her. Remember what she did for money is only what most men would be doing for free every night if they had the chance. The only difference between her and a guy (or girl) who sleeps around is she gets paid. So don't be judgemental.

The_Minister

Velvet Vocals wrote: »

but... and I know this is going to sound very mushy and like someone who has actually watched pretty woman too many times (oh the shame:o) but doesn't she deserve to find happiness. Just because she was escort (I wish everyone would stop calling her a whore) does that mean that she should never have a happy relationship ever again?
I know there are lots of what ifs... like that one about about his friends having availed of her services before.... thats a pretty huge what if.... but maybe she's worth it?

Firstly she is an pro not was.

Secondly an escourt does not have sex with someone for money. If they do, then they are a "whore", or less emotively, a prostitute. An escourt is someone who a rich widow might pay to bring her to a party because her husband is dead and she doesn't want to go alone.
Or, maybe (speaking as a man), you might want to turn up at a party with a bright, sexy young woman on your arm, but not have to coddle her like you would a date. You can bring an escourt. Real escourts don't give it up for money, prostitutes do.

I'm not sure why everyone cares that she is a high-class hooker. Does the fact that she shagged in a foor-post bed for a wad of cash, beat her rutting in a burnt out car for a fiver?
Either, way, as long as she doesn't have a disease, the problem is that she did it at all, not not who or why she did, but the fact that she was able to do it, and the mentality that that necessitates.

seahorse

Areyajokin?! wrote: »

This is the insight I was hoping to get, very much appreciated Seahorse!!

No probs!

Areyajokin?! wrote: »

I took a proper look at her on-line profile again this evening in detail and seeing the list of things she does it was more than a reality check and the few reviews about her from past clients are serious wake up call... I just find the whole thing bizarre... this girl who speaks 4 languages, well travelled, educated, could easily be working as a regular 9-5... instead works as a prostitute. Its a total mind fu@k actually!!!!!!!!

If you think it's a mind-fuk now Areyajokin?!, that's only a taster of what's to come by the sounds of it. I'm assuming she directed you to her on-line profile? That's madness. No prostitute with half a wit of sense would do that; not if she'd the first inclination how to attempt to have a relationship anyway. In her position, you really have to learn how to compartmentalise your life, and it sounds to me like she hasn’t the first clue how to do that. Next thing you'll be subjected to detailed accounts of what she got up to earlier in the evening or the night before – and that'll be when the real mind-fuk starts!

You said that you couldn’t continue with this while she is in prostitution and I can fully understand that, I think most people can. If you decide that you’d like to keep seeing her, but only in the case that she takes early retirement, lol, then I’d suggest you say so to her. I wouldn’t expect her to be in a hurry to change her entire lifestyle for a man she met last week, so maybe don’t get too enthusiastic about the idea of her doing that. She doesnt seem to be in any hurry to do so, from what you've said, and the thing about prostitution is, rather like substance abuse, the exit is something you really have to do for yourself.

However, if she does ever come to that decision on her own steam at some future time, there’s every possibility she’ll be able to form a decent relationship that has its basis in love and consideration and trust. My experiences of relationships during prostitution were that they were fraught with problems, but I’ve found that meaningful relationships are very possible post-prostitution; they have their own set of problems, but they are possible (thank God) Actually, when it comes to forming relationships, there are unexpected positives to having a background in prostitution – I’m highly unlikely to become paired with a narrow-minded judgemental person.

Silverfish

Areyajokin?! wrote: »

Am I living in a dream world? I come from a wealthy background,

This may not be relevant to you at all, but one part of your post stood out for me.

Had to be careful and find out that the person in question doesn't use this site

I know someone, who had a similar story to yourself. Fairly wealthy too. He saw the girl for a few months, then out of the blue, started getting billed for their 'dates', retroactively.

She stated that he knew all along, she had shown him her site and card, and she had given him 'credit'. He laughed it off, but she stopped seeing him, only phoning to ask for 'her' money. Eventually, her boss started phoning for her money.

I think he paid up about 5 grand (this might be where the relevance of 'high-class' escort comes in).
He thought they were a couple, she saw him as a customer. Or perhaps she didn't at the start. Or perhaps she was 'persuaded' by someone else to see him as one. We don't know. Your story just rang some bells though.

towel401

Silverfish wrote: »

This may not be relevant to you at all, but one part of your post stood out for me.

Had to be careful and find out that the person in question doesn't use this site

I know someone, who had a similar story to yourself. Fairly wealthy too. He saw the girl for a few months, then out of the blue, started getting billed for their 'dates', retroactively.

She stated that he knew all along, she had shown him her site and card, and she had given him 'credit'. He laughed it off, but she stopped seeing him, only phoning to ask for 'her' money. Eventually, her boss started phoning for her money.

I think he paid up about 5 grand (this might be where the relevance of 'high-class' escort comes in).
He thought they were a couple, she saw him as a customer. Or perhaps she didn't at the start. Or perhaps she was 'persuaded' by someone else to see him as one. We don't know. Your story just rang some bells though.

i wouldnt have paid. sounds like a scam to me

Silverfish

towel401 wrote: »

i wouldnt have paid. sounds like a scam to me

..... yes, that's what I'm warning the OP about?

towel401

Silverfish wrote: »

..... yes, that's what I'm warning the OP about?

good.

a lot of people still feel sorry for the poor escort / hooker and her inability to have a perfectly normal relationship with a normal bloke while she bangs half of dublin for cash during the day while he is at work.

i don't understand those people

Is she an ex-prostitute or still engaged in the game, as another poster put it.

If she's still doing it, then I think you should stop straight away. If she has stopped, then theres still a possibility.

To the poster that is an ex-prostitute; did you have a pimp and if so, how would he have felt if you were with other guys?

Overheal

Ye should all watch Firefly, the lot of you

Theres a lot of social stigma floating around here.
Sorry to hear about your acquaintance Silverfish.

either way OP i think theres a general concensus this can't go on while she is still playing the game.

Jigsaw

I would advise you to get gone.

There are two many issues going on while she pursues her chosen profession.

seahorse

Deleted User wrote: »

Is she an ex-prostitute or still engaged in the game, as another poster put it.

The girl the OP has met is still working as a prostitute.

Deleted User wrote: »

To the poster that is an ex-prostitute; did you have a pimp and if so, how would he have felt if you were with other guys?

I did at the beginning boneyarsebogman, though I wasn’t savvy enough to refer to him in those terms then; I just thought he was my boyfriend. As for men, as far as he was concerned the more the merrier as long as they were paying me.

LegacyUser

experienced wrote: »

The narrow minded views I have read on here are not a major surprise. Prostitution is a complicated issue, and may never be socially acceptable in this country. But the phrase "a whore is a whore" is just plain wrong. A junkie you pick up on Benburb street who will do anything under the sun for 50 quid, and a high class escort are 2 seperate things all together. She will have been careful regarding STD's as it will have a drastic effect on her career if she got one. She is not doing the job because she is a junkie, nor because she is mental, or emotionally unattached. She is doing it because she has a family abroad to support. She probably charges in the region of 250/300 euros an hour for company. An overnight session, costs the same as what you earn in a month. I bet she has been saving that away nicely, and wants to get out of it soon.

I believe you made some really accurate points here, thanks... I do think there is definitely a difference between typical street hooker and high class escort, she's not a junkie and as stated does this to support her family and I guess see's it as a means to an end. In fact I have friends with powerful jobs who spend most of their Friday and Saturday nights strung out the bolivian marching powder and I would'nt refer to them as junkie's. You were in fact bang on with how much she charges.

TerrorFirmer wrote: »

The first thing to really consider is that this girl isn't just a prostitute, she's a person. It's actually good you met her first; now you realize that there's more to an individual in her scenario other then an unsavory social label.

If I was you, I'd talk to her about it. Ask her not how she got into 'the game', but how she feels about it, what her long term plan is and what her real life applicable qualifications are and how she hopes to utilize them. It might never work, but you never know. At the end of the day she's still just a woman susceptible to the same emotions as anyone else and could be worth your time.

This is pretty much what I'm thinking. Because I met this girl in a social scenario and immediately categorised her as a 'normal' person, I dont see her as an escort. She's perfectly normal in other ways, aside from the work.

aidan24326 wrote: »

Maybe she's being pressured by other people?QUOTE]

Good point, had'nt occurred to me.

seahorse wrote: »

No probs!

If you think it's a mind-fuk now Areyajokin?!, that's only a taster of what's to come by the sounds of it. I'm assuming she directed you to her on-line profile? That's madness. No prostitute with half a wit of sense would do that; not if she'd the first inclination how to attempt to have a relationship anyway. In her position, you really have to learn how to compartmentalise your life, and it sounds to me like she hasn’t the first clue how to do that. Next thing you'll be subjected to detailed accounts of what she got up to earlier in the evening or the night before – and that'll be when the real mind-fuk starts!

You said that you couldn’t continue with this while she is in prostitution and I can fully understand that, I think most people can. If you decide that you’d like to keep seeing her, but only in the case that she takes early retirement, lol, then I’d suggest you say so to her. I wouldn’t expect her to be in a hurry to change her entire lifestyle for a man she met last week, so maybe don’t get too enthusiastic about the idea of her doing that. She doesnt seem to be in any hurry to do so, from what you've said, and the thing about prostitution is, rather like substance abuse, the exit is something you really have to do for yourself.

What you said firstly is definitely concerning, I can see your point and I guess thinking about I would assume that she would want to, not hide, but more detach that aspect of her life from her social life. Then on the otherhand I wonder did she tell me this stuff because she wanted to be completely honest with me from the start..?

On your second point, I totally agree that it is highly unlikely that she intends to give up what she does for me having met me only last week. And to be honest I just have a feeling that although she may have plans to exit the business, it wont be tomoro or next week..!

Overheal wrote: »

either way OP i think theres a general concensus this can't go on while she is still playing the game.

Ya, I could'nt be in a relationship with someone who continued to do this. So, we were texting earlier and agreed we'd catch up at the weekend for lunch or coffee. No harm in doing that and I'm not the kinda dick that would break contact by just not bother texting her back. To be honest she's a nice girl and having taken onboard what has been said here I am curious to talk to her a little bit more about what she does. As I said in the OP, she's leaving at the very start of next month until late August/September to go home, so nothing serious would develop this side of the summer even I did decide to give it a chance.

Just a general point I wanna make regarding the comments referring to her a 'whore' and those still influenced by negative social stigma attached to prostitution. I was of this opinion long before I met this girl but... I have a couple of girl friends and know of others who sleep wrecklessly with random guys every weekend, have done very slutty things in public places and basically handled more pipe than a plumber. In fact I know one in particular who has clocked up an incredible number of guys. I'm sure you can identify one friend similar to this... and these girls are the ones working as investment bankers and training as barristers!? In my own opinion these are the real 'whores'... and they dont even get paid.

If the Mods leave this thread open I'll let ye know how ends or whatever the case at the weekend.