In Love?

LegacyUser

Hi Guys,

I know this question has been asked a few times before on here but just wondering how soon
into a relationship is it normal or okay to say I love you?. I've been with my bf now for 6 months
but have known him for a year (we used to work together until \i got a new job) and I know that
I love him but don't want to say it in caes he doesn't reciprocate. Don't think I could handle hearing
the dreaded response of 'thank you!'.

He does show me he cares for me in the way that he acts and the things that he does for me which
I know means alot more than 3 little words but I'd still like him to say it. I also know that people say i love
you way too ofetn these days and without feeling sometimes but I think you'd know in 6 months if you
loved someone. I've asked all of my friends who are in relationships and the average answer seems to be
about 3 months in but having known alot sooner. Maybe he deosn't love me and that's why he hasn't said it.
Maybe I should say it first...yikes!

Just looking for opinions really..

Marksie

The simple answer is when it feels comfortable saying it.

there is no prescruibed time limit or another of those silly little rules that peopel like to put on the dating game.

If you feel open, it feels natural, you dont feel you have to say it but want to, then its the right time.

Coming from my path, there is the idea of having no expectations, that you can freely express what you wnat to. Accepting the other will either want to do the same or not, but not feeling rejected if they choose not to.

This i darent i am scared of rejection, i expect him/her to say it back and will be upset if it doesn't happen, is once again the societal, comsumerist approach to loving.
That in expressing one automatically expects something in return.

Velvet Vocals

I totally agree with Marksie, you should say it if you feel it. Saying it wont change the fact that you feel it regardless of weather or not he says it back. Good luck. I really hope he says it back!!

LegacyUser

Velvet Vocals wrote: »

I totally agree with Marksie, you should say it if you feel it. Saying it wont change the fact that you feel it regardless of weather or not he says it back. Good luck. I really hope he says it back!!

Thanks, I hope so too. It almost slipped out on the way to wrok this morning but I caught myself in time. We often say things like..I love being with you, I love the way u do that etc but not I love you. I'm a 28 year old woman and I feel silly even writing this. I was just curious if 6 months seems a long time to not have expressed our feelings yet! We compliment each other all the time on apperanace and things..your dress is beautiful, your hair looks great like that and stuff but we've actually never said I really like you never mind I love you. We kinda act like mates and never tell each other how into each other we are.

Zulu

When you mean it.



...and can live with the possibility they mightn't say it back.

McGinty

The simple answer is when it feels comfortable saying it.

there is no prescruibed time limit or another of those silly little rules that peopel like to put on the dating game.

If you feel open, it feels natural, you dont feel you have to say it but want to, then its the right time.

Coming from my path, there is the idea of having no expectations, that you can freely express what you wnat to. Accepting the other will either want to do the same or not, but not feeling rejected if they choose not to.

This i darent i am scared of rejection, i expect him/her to say it back and will be upset if it doesn't happen, is once again the societal, comsumerist approach to loving.
That in expressing one automatically expects something in return.

+ 1

When you mean it.

...and can live with the possibility they mightn't say it back.

double + 1

The thing about love is that is has no regard for rules, time or any of that stuff, you can reason away forever why you love someone, or hope to love someone. I can understand your concern that the whole 'I love you' is way overused and at times abused, sometimes people say 'I love you' and it could mean other things, I have been guilty of this. The thing is love is both a feeling and an action, maybe your boyfriend is showing his love to you, the key question you need to ask, is do you love him, does he enhance your life and if so, then fnucking well tell him, drop all that 'I have to play it cool' stuff otherwise yourself and being cool will make lifelong friends with very little joy in between. If you say I love you to your boyfriend only say it you if you feel it, and please don't expect it back because your boyfriend may feel love for you, but he may not be comfortable with saying it. What I have learned about love is that it is bigger than ego and it transcends the need to cling and hold onto the other, you love that person so much you don't want to hold onto them, you only hope they will come back, at the same time you completely take them for who they are, even the annoying bits without trying to change them. Love is about giving, not recieving but here's the mad bit, it tends to come back on you anyway when its not forced:D:D