Going to have my first HIV test: SUPER-ANXIOUS - Whats ur first like?

Obi77

After taking so long to come to terms with my sexuality (bisexual), I have started to become sexually active in the past 9 months. So far I've slept with about 10 men, sometimes being the 'top'..most of the times, 'bottom'.

I've ALWAYS practise safe sex...being very paranoid about contracting STDs. Most of the times, (but not always), I've checked for condom breakage after sex, and so far, none has (not that I can see anyway)

So, I've booked an appointment to get myself tested in 6 weeks time, making it 3 month after my last sexual activity (will stay abstinent then). So far, I'm sh*tting it! What if there's a condom breakage that I did not detect? What if I'm positive? Am extremely anxious at the moment, requiring some Xanax from my GP while waiting for my appointment for my test (6 weeks away).

So what were your experience, going for a HIV test for the first time? What was going through your head? Were you as anxious as I am or do you think I am over-reacting ?

azezil

10 men in my 9 months! wow, well you certainly came to terms with your sexuality and then some lol, I think I've had close to 10 in the passed 27 years!!

You know, sleeping with that many different partners you really should have gotten tested before now, its recommended one get tested every 6 months if you're sexually active

In any event to answer your question, the first time I went to get tested, I wasn't quite as nervous as you because I was pretty confident I'd have nothing and this was just for my own peace of mind. My results came back all clear and I'm glad to say I've never caught anything, but I still get checked regularly just to be sure!. Had I known then what I know now, how ignorant I was about STD's and STI's prior to my first test, it may have been a very different story!

It was quite the eye opener for me because I really had no idea of the risks at the time, but you seem to know about the risks, so I wouldn't worry about it dude, I'm sure you'll be just fine

Annasopra

I was very anxious because I had had unprotected sex

The GMHP service provide counselling if you are having a HIV test and maybe if you are that anxious you should avail of it

http://www.hse.ie/eng/Find_a_Service/Sexualhealth/Gay_Men's_Health_Service/STI_Clinics/

Hmm_Messiah

Given the detail you have provided I think you need to be rational and re assure yourself its extremely unlikely that you have any worry regarding HIV

to reduce the anxious in real life the best way is regular checks as mentioned, and considering your choices etc .

There is though a possibility of other STIs -the more partners, especially if they were casual , potentially the greater chance.


And without scaremongering penetrative sex is not the only way to get STIs, including HIV

To be practical - you are abstaining at this moment, so no further chance of contracting anything, you have been safe and so the risk is minimal, but if you have something, anything , you can't do anything about it til the tests. Try and put things in proportion and relax a little. That you are taking the test etc means you have considered the risks and that in itself is a good sign

Perhaps some of your anxiety relates just to how fast things have moved for you recently

Obi77

Thanks for the word of reassurance guys..I know with my practises my risk SHOULD be low but trawling through the net I keep coming across some ' I-got-HIV-even-though-I-practise-safe-sex-always ' kind of stories and that freaks me out even more!

Hmm_Messiah

if you are very anxious why are you waiting - is the appointment with a clinic ?

just go to your own doctor - if embarrassing just say ...I dunno.. " got drunk on hols, was with some one and kinda freaking me out how safe"

you'll have to pay for the test but will have great relief. you could still go to clinic then for a full screening

Goodshape

Where are you based, OP? If you're in Dublin, there's a drop-in clinic on Wednesday evenings -- if you've got the time to wait around for a couple of hours you can get the tests done in a day, results in a couple of weeks. No cost or appointment necessary.

http://www.gayswitchboard.ie/safersex.htm

Gay Men's Health Project. 19 Haddington Road, Dublin 4. Telephone 01-6726164, Tuesdays from 6:30pm to 8:00pm for HIV testing and Hepatitis B testing and vaccine only. Wednesdays from 6:30pm to 8:00pm for full screening for Sexually Transmitted Infections, Hepatitis B testing and HIV testing. GMHP provide a confidential, discrete and free service. Please note that this is a male only clinic.

Obi77

I am following the 3 month rule anyway. A negative test would be definitive 3 months post exposure. The last time I did anything was 6 weeks ago, and although it was safe I'd still prefer to take the test after the definitive 'window period' and be 100% sure.

LegacyUser

Hey there,

Calm down, you'll be fine. You're chances of catching HIV with the protections that you've been taking are close to none. Seriously, it's next to impossible if you've been using protection properly. Go and get the test anyway for your own piece of mind and to test for other, more easily transmittable (and treatable!) STI's, but as far as HIV is concerned I'd put my life on it that you're in the clear, having taken those precautions. And by the way I was just as nervous as you are when I had my first one done. It gets easier and easier every time. Good Luck

nessymon

Hmm_Messiah wrote: »

if you are very anxious why are you waiting - is the appointment with a clinic ?

just go to your own doctor - if embarrassing just say ...I dunno.. " got drunk on hols, was with some one and kinda freaking me out how safe"

you'll have to pay for the test but will have great relief. you could still go to clinic then for a full screening

I got tested through my GP last year - I was getting a lot of tests done at the time - He asked if I wanted to get one .. so I did - it didnt cost any extra just the docs fee and the usual charge something like 20 or 30 euro for the bloods

Duddy

In my own experience, its not as bad as u think it is. If you're going to the Gay Men's Health Project in Dublin you'll be given a counselling session first. For me, that was the worst, its makes you HUGELY nervous!

The procedure itself isnt too bad, as long as you dont mind getting nekkid in front of a stranger:P

My advice would be: Bring a close friend, and a book, I've never been there on my own and I still dont like being there. Least if you have someone there you can sit and chat:)


Best of Luck, you'll be fine!:)

LookingFor

I remember going for my first, and being nervous as hell. I think I cried in the doctor's office She was more worried about my mental health than anything physical given how anxious I'd made myself.

Of course, I was being a total hypochondriac, and the tests all came back negative. I've never caught anything, but I'm quite cautious and don't sleep with many people (so far can count the number easily on one hand!).

If you always use protection, use it properly, the chances of you getting HIV are very slim indeed. You're likely worrying yourself for no reason. Other STDs can be caught in more casual ways, but the more serious ones should be prevented with condoms.

Try not to worry. I know it's easier said than done, I was sick with worry the first time I did it, right up until I got the results.

azezil

Duddy wrote: »

In my own experience, its not as bad as u think it is. If you're going to the Gay Men's Health Project in Dublin you'll be given a counselling session first. For me, that was the worst, its makes you HUGELY nervous!

The procedure itself isnt too bad, as long as you dont mind getting nekkid in front of a stranger:P

My advice would be: Bring a close friend, and a book, I've never been there on my own and I still dont like being there. Least if you have someone there you can sit and chat:)


Best of Luck, you'll be fine!:)

I was the complete opposite, I amused by the by the dude giving me the counselling session and would never go with anyone I know, good idea about the book though, it can be quite a long wait

And the tests themselves are a piece of piss, I was laughing and joking with the doctor who performed them

Obi77

Thanks for your reassurance guys. It does make me feel a bit better. Not sure if my fears are totally irrational or not, but I can do nothing about it until I take the test I guess. The anti-anxiety pills from my doc has help a bit too.

BTW, I am getting my test done in a private clinic in London who does rapid HIV testing. You get the results in minutes. Waiting for a cpl of weeks here will wreck my head. Besides, its an anonymous testing center.

I have many friends who are doctors, and somehow many of them specialises in infectious disease. Dont really want to bump into any of them in STD clinics. Dont wanting my drinking buddy taking swaps from my urethra. Nights out after that would be pretty awkward !

DubArk

Obi77 wrote: »

Am extremely anxious at the moment, requiring some Xanax from my GP while waiting for my appointment for my test (6 weeks away).

You shouldn’t really tell your GP that you’re going for these tests as if they have it written in your records that you’re Gay and having HIV tests for insurance reasons, down the road you could come up against problems if they pull your file. I would ask you GP if they have made any reference to your sexuality or the tests on your file and if so remove those notes immediately.

Goodshape

DubArk wrote: »

You shouldn’t really tell your GP that you’re going for these tests as if they have it written in your records that you’re Gay and having HIV tests for insurance reasons, down the road you could come up against problems if they pull your file. I would ask you GP if they have made any reference to your sexuality or the tests on your file and if so remove those notes immediately.

Iiinnnttteesting. Seems a bit sh/t that you'd have to hide medical details from your GP though. Also seems a bit sh/t that having had a HIV test (assuming the outcome was in your favour) would reflect badly upon yourself re: insurance, etc.

Bit like the blood donation issue really... test results irrelevant.. it's the being gay bit that they don't like.

Hmm_Messiah

DubArk wrote: »

You shouldn’t really tell your GP that you’re going for these tests as if they have it written in your records that you’re Gay and having HIV tests for insurance reasons, down the road you could come up against problems if they pull your file. I would ask you GP if they have made any reference to your sexuality or the tests on your file and if so remove those notes immediately.

Why would you have to tell your GP you are gay to have a HIV test?
And why would telling your GP you are gay have anythign at all to do with insurance or anything else ?

As regarding it affecting any insurance policy etc , as i understand it this is something that happened immediately after the appearance of AIDS/HIV and these days is little more than a myth

I recently signed some insurance documents and the question asked was along the lines of " Did you test positively for HIV... ", this is a reasonable question I would guess giving they will equally ask about diabetes or a family history of Heart Disease?. It is only significant if you are recorded as HIV + on your records .

I am open to correction but I think its a bit irresponsible to post something like that unless there is something to back it up (I've a memory of the same thing being discounted in other threads here). I know in the past there were problems but I'd suggest you only refer to 2007/2008 data

The best person to know about your health or anything that might relate to it is your GP, and any young man should feel confident and relaxed about addressing those issues with his doctor

DubArk

Hmm_Messiah wrote: »

Why would you have to tell your GP you are gay to have a HIV test?
And why would telling your GP you are gay have anythign at all to do with insurance or anything else ?

As regarding it affecting any insurance policy etc , as i understand it this is something that happened immediately after the appearance of AIDS/HIV and these days is little more than a myth

I recently signed some insurance documents and the question asked was along the lines of " Did you test positively for HIV... ", this is a reasonable question I would guess giving they will equally ask about diabetes or a family history of Heart Disease?. It is only significant if you are recorded as HIV + on your records .

I am open to correct but I think its a bit irresponsible to post something like that unless there is something to back it up (I've a memory of the same thing being discounted in other threads here). I know in the past there were problems but I'd suggest you only refer to 2007/2008 data

The best person to know about your health or anything that might relate to it is your GP, and any young man shoudl feel confident and relaxed about addressing those issues with his doctor

No one ever said that OP would have to tell their GP anything???
The OP was given Xanax from their GP while waiting for my appointment for the test (6 weeks away) im sure the subject would have come up!

As regarding it affecting any insurance policy it’s a fact, not a myth, take it from me!

Irresponsible!! What are you going on about, this is from personal experience NOT from hearsay or some idle chat you had down in the pub.

There are many clinics that anyone can go to in complete privacy

http://www.dublinaidsalliance.com/how_to_get_tested.htm

My advise is of my experiences, in my life and id be interested where your basing your facts on? I'd suggest you only refer to 2007/2008 data and then flush it down the nearest toilet!

Hmm_Messiah

Apparently you are not open to correction however.

I guess I'll allow others to consider who is the more reasoned.

But to answer your question, as I stated in my post, I base my facts on the insurance forms I completed in the last 10 days, and more than cursory research last year when going for a number of different tests. And also on being capable of using google for more than 5 minutes

the reference to 2007 onwards is because they are relevant years; archived posts and blogs etc do not take account of changes made by insurance companies from 2006 on.

Your response seem unnecessarily defensive; I've tried to limit the devastating affect of your post on my self-worth , and pretty much succeeded.

DubArk

Hmm_Messiah wrote: »

I completed in the last 10 days, and more than cursory research last year when going for a number of different tests. And also on being capable of using google for more than 5 minutes

I guess I'll allow others to consider who is the more reasoned too!

MCMLXXXIII

OP-

First, congrats on "finding yourself" and having fun while doing it.

Second, if you think you are anxious right now - just wait until you actually take the test! I don't know what kind of clinic you are going to, but some tests take 2 weeks for results, and some test results take 10 minutes. Either way, it's nerve wracking.

Third, once you come back negative (like a 99.999% chance), there's no reason to go crazy...a lot of people (including me after my first test) feel invincible and think they can just sleep with anyone. I'm glad I'm still clean, but on a personal/moral/relationship level - it's just not the best thing for the long run.

Have fun, and stay safe :pac:

L1011

I'm 95% certain that insurance companies are not allowed ask you, or your GP any questions about your sexuality (I know one insurance firm removed the question recently after GLEN intervened). I don't know if they're allowed ask if you've had STD *tests* either.

My permanent life insurance for my pension asked if you'd ever tested positive for an STI, whether sucessfully treated or not, but not if you'd ever been tested.

Obi77

MCMLXXXIII wrote: »

OP-

First, congrats on "finding yourself" and having fun while doing it.

Second, if you think you are anxious right now - just wait until you actually take the test! I don't know what kind of clinic you are going to, but some tests take 2 weeks for results, and some test results take 10 minutes. Either way, it's nerve wracking.

Third, once you come back negative (like a 99.999% chance), there's no reason to go crazy...a lot of people (including me after my first test) feel invincible and think they can just sleep with anyone. I'm glad I'm still clean, but on a personal/moral/relationship level - it's just not the best thing for the long run.

Have fun, and stay safe :pac:

DubArk wrote: »

No one ever said that OP would have to tell their GP anything???
The OP was given Xanax from their GP while waiting for my appointment for the test (6 weeks away) im sure the subject would have come up!

As regarding it affecting any insurance policy it’s a fact, not a myth, take it from me!

Irresponsible!! What are you going on about, this is from personal experience NOT from hearsay or some idle chat you had down in the pub.

There are many clinics that anyone can go to in complete privacy

http://www.dublinaidsalliance.com/how_to_get_tested.htm

My advise is of my experiences, in my life and id be interested where your basing your facts on? I'd suggest you only refer to 2007/2008 data and then flush it down the nearest toilet!

Thanks for all your advice. As regarding my privacy and the secrecy surrounding my sexuality. that wouldn't be a problem. My GP doesnt know about my sexuality or that I am taking a HIV test. I am heading to a private clinic in Harley Street in London, where they have anonymous testing, so no one would know. Also they have the new rapid HIV test where u get the results within minutes, not 2 weeks.

The caveat is, if I do turn out positive, I would, of course, will have to register myself with a HIV specialist in Ireland.

L1011

Out of interest, why are you bothering with that? Two weeks diagnosis time isn't going to make any major difference in how long you'll live if you do have it, and it appears you're travelling to the UK and spending rather a lot of cash on getting it done...

I wouldn't use the GMHP myself due to likely unjustified concepts of it - just imagine it as a grot-pit full of unpleasant people and I'm a total snob , so I just use a GP. Private patient so I don't have a concept of "my GP", I think I've used every single one in this town over the years based on who's had the shortest appointment times. I also work on the borderline of the medial sector and really have no faith in "consultants", "specialists" etc who are just doing precisely the same thing at a far higher price.

Kazobel

I'm surprised no one suggested contacting here yet Gay Mens Health Project, I'm sure they can give you loads of free advice.

L1011

Kazobel wrote: »

I'm surprised no one suggested contacting here yet Gay Mens Health Project, I'm sure they can give you loads of free advice.

They did. In the third post in the thread. And again a number of times since.

Kazobel

MYOB wrote: »

They did. In the third post in the thread. And again a number of times since.

Not the link I posted but thanks for pointing out my failings when all I'm doing is offering advice :rolleyes:

Bottle_of_Smoke

Hmm_Messiah wrote: »

Why would you have to tell your GP you are gay to have a HIV test?
And why would telling your GP you are gay have anythign at all to do with insurance or anything else ?

As regarding it affecting any insurance policy etc , as i understand it this is something that happened immediately after the appearance of AIDS/HIV and these days is little more than a myth

I recently signed some insurance documents and the question asked was along the lines of " Did you test positively for HIV... ", this is a reasonable question I would guess giving they will equally ask about diabetes or a family history of Heart Disease?. It is only significant if you are recorded as HIV + on your records .

I am open to correction but I think its a bit irresponsible to post something like that unless there is something to back it up (I've a memory of the same thing being discounted in other threads here). I know in the past there were problems but I'd suggest you only refer to 2007/2008 data

The best person to know about your health or anything that might relate to it is your GP, and any young man should feel confident and relaxed about addressing those issues with his doctor

I think theres something in it. I was getting STD tests & my GP told me not to get a HIV test as it could affect mortgage insurance in the future, he knew my history & I've only had heterosexual sex. He was so insistent I didn't get the test I ended up going to a different place to have it done

L1011

Bottle_of_Smoke wrote: »

I think theres something in it. I was getting STD tests & my GP told me not to get a HIV test as it could affect mortgage insurance in the future, he knew my history & I've only had heterosexual sex. He was so insistent I didn't get the test I ended up going to a different place to have it done

I believe it may be an issue in the UK (where they're allowed ask questions on application forms that they're absolutely not here) but I'm nearly certain it isn't here.

Why would having been found *not* to have it have any effect on premiums anyway? There are times (for certain medical procedures for instance) when you're obliged to get a full STI screening when you could be at absolutely no risk - a friend of mine had to get one while still a virgin for instance. Loading/refusing premiums due to this would almost certainly be baseless and not stand up in court.

cotwold

MYOB wrote: »

I believe it may be an issue in the UK (where they're allowed ask questions on application forms that they're absolutely not here) but I'm nearly certain it isn't here.

Why would having been found *not* to have it have any effect on premiums anyway? There are times (for certain medical procedures for instance) when you're obliged to get a full STI screening when you could be at absolutely no risk - a friend of mine had to get one while still a virgin for instance. Loading/refusing premiums due to this would almost certainly be baseless and not stand up in court.

Well you'd definately have disclose that you were diagnosed with hiv if you were ask about medical history on an insurance or life assurance application even if it didn't ask speciffically so i wouldn't think theres much of a difference between them and a mortgage. I'll check that one out..

L1011

Obviously you have to say if you were diagnosed with it. But you don't have to say you were tested for it, which is what some people are claiming.

Bottle_of_Smoke

MYOB wrote: »

I believe it may be an issue in the UK (where they're allowed ask questions on application forms that they're absolutely not here) but I'm nearly certain it isn't here.

Why would having been found *not* to have it have any effect on premiums anyway? There are times (for certain medical procedures for instance) when you're obliged to get a full STI screening when you could be at absolutely no risk - a friend of mine had to get one while still a virgin for instance. Loading/refusing premiums due to this would almost certainly be baseless and not stand up in court.

I'm guessing its that if you had a test done its percieved you have had exposure to high risk group & therefore its possible you'd be more likely to have exposure again.

The GP I mentioned is a practice in Dublin, don't know why he'd tell me not to have it done if what he was saying about mortgage insurance was untrue. In the end I just decided peace of mind was more important than a mortgage in the future.

Someone mentioned the waiting time being two weeks. If you go to Dr Freedman in ranelaigh it only takes 1 week & he'll give you the result on the phone.

Boston

The issue is in relation to the mortgage assurance cover. This is where a mortgage is taken out in joint names and should one or both parties die, the mortgage is automatically paid off. Many banks will not give mortgages without this cover and this is why they ask medical question such as "hve you ever had an STI test". I know of one building society what had/has a standing policy of not allowing two males get a joint mortgage because of the presumption of homosexuality.

L1011

Which building society is it? That assumption would fly very close to breaking the Equal Status Act (which allows discrimination on grounds of risk, but which needs to be proven - assumptions are not prove). I'd also like to avoid giving them my business in the first place...

Boston

Can't name the building society/bank in question. Friend worked in their mortgage department and had huge trouble trying to get a mortgage for two brothers authorised despite there being no clear reason for it being blocked. Having asked around apparently it was common enough for these type of mortgages to be slow balled massively. As far as I recall the solution was that one of them re-apply on his own.

cotwold

MYOB wrote: »

Obviously you have to say if you were diagnosed with it. But you don't have to say you were tested for it, which is what some people are claiming.

Oh i didn't realise that, thats crazy. It's none of their business, whether you've been tested or not is totally irrelevant.

Boston wrote: »

I know of one building society what had/has a standing policy of not allowing two males get a joint mortgage because of the presumption of homosexuality.

That's pathetic and really saddening.

MCMLXXXIII

Hmm_Messiah wrote: »

Why would you have to tell your GP you are gay to have a HIV test?
And why would telling your GP you are gay have anythign at all to do with insurance or anything else ?

As regarding it affecting any insurance policy etc , as i understand it this is something that happened immediately after the appearance of AIDS/HIV and these days is little more than a myth

...

I have been asked by my GP before, and he said it was because (for curable infections) stronger doses or even different perscriptions are needed if you have had sex with men, or people from the US west coast, southern florida, or the far east (China, Japan, Korea, etc.)

Also, I was young when I moved to the US, and was listed under my parents for health insurance. Once I had to get my own insurance, (most) companies are not allowed to ask questions like that before they accept you. However, they may raise or lower rates depending on your condition.

Obi77

Will know by tomorrow morning....anxiety overdrive now !

cybrandian

Well I really hope it was great news....

Obi77

cybrandian wrote: »

Well I really hope it was great news....

it was...whew!

L1011

Obi77 wrote: »

it was...whew!

While its not very likely you'll get something - its always better to know isn't it.

Now just treat it like a car servicing, every 12 months or 12,000 men