Driving Instructor Boundaries?

Lindaloo

Can anyone tell me what the boundaries are for driving instructors? I got a lesson recently and the instructor put his hand on my upper thigh a lot and a lot of the time he left it resting on my leg, it wasn't only the left leg he put his hand on, sometimes he reached across to put his hand on my right one!

Needless to say this threw me totally as I was so uncomfortable and when he commented on something I did wrong I told him that when he put his hands on me he gave me a fright, he apologised and said that this wasn't the intention, his intention was to relax and calm me???

He didn't do it again after that bar at the end when we were sitting in the car and he was going through things with me and he put his hand on my arm or kind of hit my leg.

I'm not sure what the boundaries are, should he be putting a hand on me or what's the 'etiquette'? I felt really weird about it after I left him but I'm not sure if I'm over reacting.

I've one more lesson with him cos I've a test coming up soon and I don't think he will do it again but I'd be interested to know what other people think of all this?

Holsten

Eh... WHAT?!

NO of course they should not be touching you.. jesus.

Stay well away from that chap!

Lindaloo

Thanks holsten, I still feel really weird/upset about it but as my test is that soon I can't get anyone else so I'll go out with him and deck him if he puts a hand to me

Dunno what to do about it afterwards though, might see if I can contact anyone else that he's dealt with via a review website and see if they had the same experience. The gas thing is, his positive reviews are what flipping made me contact him!

dade

does he work alone or through a company? if it's through a company no harm and making a complaint to them about it.

I wouldn't except anyone touching me unless invited to never mind someone that is suppose to be acting in a professional manner and teaching you how to drive.

Lindaloo

No, he works alone, if it was a company I would make a complaint.

It icked me out completely and I didn't feel I suppose safe for a while cos I was waiting for the hand to move another couple of inches!!! He didn't do it again after I said it (rest hand on thigh) but how the f*ck he thought that it would make a female in a car with a strange man 'relax' I've no idea!!!

SV

My driving instructor did that too and to all my friends (i'm a lad btw)

we just think it's funny..it's just the way he is and he's a class instructor so..

Spud83

Are driving instructors not regulated in some way. Surely there is someone you can report this too?

Have a look here. That is if he is a registered instructor.

Lindaloo

I've been looking online all morning about rules and guidelines but have found nothing. I'll get the test out of the way and then decide what I'm going to do.

Thanks for the replies

MollyZ

That is totally out of order!!! I'm sure there must be someone you can report him to, especially with all the effort that is being made to regulate driving instructors. I hope he manages to keep his hands to himself for your next lesson. Best of luck with the test Lindaloo.

cormie

Lindaloo wrote: »

I've been looking online all morning about rules and guidelines but have found nothing. I'll get the test out of the way and then decide what I'm going to do.

Thanks for the replies

There will be no rules outlining this. You know it could just be an innocent calming reflex he has and he's just used to doing it. What age is he? If it's the same guy as Clio, it could be harmless even though it sounds very dodgy.

Lindaloo

I know cormie, that's why I'm so unsure, it's such a weird situation to be in. I'll see how it goes on the next one, I will say it to him though if he does put his hand on me cos although some people may find it 'calming' it makes me want to veer off the road (and puke)!! :eek: He'd be in his 50's btw.

With regards there being no rules, I would have thought there'd be some rules about physical contact with clients. I understand an instructor grabbing a wheel or tapping you to 'nudge' you along with something but resting a hand on a client's leg is a WAY too over familiar for me.

cormie

Well it'd be an unwritten rule, I mean they don't want instructors touching up girls, but they aren't going to point it out. Does he do it in a pervy way or is it a more friendly way like Clio's guy sounds like? Unless you're doing crazy moves and he's just tensing up and can't get words out to try and calm you down

Could be completely harmless so tread carefully, you don't want to get him in a messy situation for a bit of what he thought was harmless contact. Can you tell at all, does he do it like he's planned it or is just a reflex?

RoseBlossom

My instructor told me they were not allowed to touch their students, he didn't seem to be in any doubt about it - for example, if the instructor has to intervene and change gear for you and you have your hand on the gear stick, they should hold it by the "neck" of it or whatever - i.e. they're not even supposed to put their hand on top of your hand.

Hands on legs are well dodgy!!! :eek: Is he not interfering with your access to the handbrake and gear stick anyway? And is he some sort of stretch armstrong that he can get over to your right leg without blocking your left arm totally?

Dean820

lol, are you sure you're not just overreacting? He could be just a nice old man.

towel401

I am subbed to this thread. but i never actually posted in it

bluefirefly

no, he's not allowed to touch you...next time you get a lesson,bring a friend with you and preferable male and see does he try touching you.

cormie

Hopefully he will.

coolshark

I'm a driving instructor and before anyone says anything I dont put my hands on any women's legs:) Plus I'm 31 years of age so it definitely wasnt me lol:)

This sounds like you could easily complain about this. If it continues put him straight that if he keeps putting his hands on your legs/arms then you'll report him to the RSA. It sounds like he is a pervy old man to be honest and I have heard about this before. We were told when doing the ISM course that you have to be v careful with female pupils learning to drive because we could easily find ourselves in a court with the sexual harassment just by where we put your hands intentionally or not.

The only time I purposely touch anyone is to put my hand on their shoulder to make sure they turn around properly when moving off into the road!! I may put my hand on a pupils hand to stop them making an unnecessary gear change or to make sure they stop in the gear they are in initially to stop them coasting. Under no circumstances should any instructor touch or leave his hand on a woman's leg even "to calm her down"

The instructor may have old traditional dated methods of teaching and may do this to his young daughter when explaining something to her but he will be crossing a fine line in a professional capacity as a driving instructor if he did that intentionally to a female pupil unless it was a lil flick in sharing a funny moment or something like that. I make it my business never to make any female learner uncomfortable like this and any instructor who doesnt will not survive in this industry.

I would strongly suggest cancelling the lesson you have with him unless it is paid for. I'm wondering like the others, is it done intentionally or in passing and how often does he do it and how long does he actually leave his hand on your leg. I'm surprised you didnt deck him straight away and call him a dirty old man and report him to the Garda!!

Good luck with your test and am curious to know what test centre you're doing it at. I know alot of older instructors from seeing them around at test centres in that age bracket and wonder if it is any of them? Hope not lol:)

I'll ask you a question?
Lets say in years to come and your daughter of 17 years of age just out of school wanted to learn to drive, would you send her to him? Any money says you wouldnt:)

My reviews are on:

<SNIP>

Take Care

towel401

coolshark wrote: »

The instructor may have old traditional dated methods of teaching

that just shows how much society has changed when it comes to awareness, or even paranoia about paedophiles and sexual harassment. Slightly offtopic maybe but I think it's a bit far fetched to say he is a dirty old man. its not like there was anything 'wrong' with it as such in those days because in those days sexual assault and that was kept quiet and something to be a shamed about. if he done it 20 years ago most chicks would have probably thought nothing of it.

could very well be that the girls have changed and the instructor stayed the same all along.

Paj

Like Coolshark I'm also an instructor and I am always sure to be extremely careful to avoid any physical contact with clients - but i've heard from a number of people about some older instructors being very "hands on".

I'm not sure if its a generational thing but perhaps the old hand on the knee method was accepted way back in the past, however its far from acceptable behavior nowadays and really you should not continue to take tuition from anyone who makes you feel uncomfortable.

I've also heard many horror stories of instructors who scream and rant at students, and who give no instruction at all! One classic was an old instructor who would smack people on the leg with a wooden ruler when they made an error!

Thankfully due to the RSA tightening up the regulations regarding instructors this kind of thing should be a thing of the past. From December 31st of this year each instructor will be required to have his ADI qualification which tests knowledge, driving skill and instruction ability - its in your interests to get an instructor who has, or is in the process of, acquiring this standard.

SeanW

What he did sounds bang out of order.