Child Scared of Spiders/Bugs

TequilaMockingBird

Hi all

I was wondering if anyone has any tips for this.

My child is 7 and is really scared of spiders etc. I was hanging out washing today and asked her to bring me something, she was standing just at the edge of the lawn in her bare feet. She ran and got shoes and then got me the thing I'd asked for. She did this without saying anything to me, so I know it was the bugs, and she didn't say anything to me because she knew I would have a talk to her about it, and I guess she couldn't be bothered listening to it again!

I know it sounds daft, but when I was a child I had a fear of them too, more a phobia really, and I really don't want her to have it too. Having a child cured my fear, as I really didn't want to pass this on to her. I still don't like them, but I try to be all calm and reasonable about them. Gods creatures, tiny compared to you, very important jobs to do, etc etc

She sobs her heart out if she comes close to one, and will hold her hand out where she has touched it, as if she can't bear it. We had an incident walking to school about a month ago, where she ran off thinking a daddy-long-legs was on her backpack.

Since then I have been telling her social stories about them, we've gone through the worst offenders now (daddy-long-legs "Flitty" and her best friend "Sooty" the ant who she rescued from an ant worker farm. Mrs Bumble-Bee helped them open their sweet shop, where everything is made of nettles-their fav food. Princess Slug saved their village from bulldozers. Quite good, if I say so myself!) Things were going good, she was spotting daddy-long-legs and saying "Mum look its Flitty", until she spotted a dead "Flitty" and I said "Oh we should bury her in the garden". She picked "Flitty" up and bl*ody "Flitty" was alive. Cue mayhem, and back to square one.

I know this isn't a big problem in the scheme of things but its fairly debilitating, and I wonder what would happen if she meets one and I'm not there. Not everyone else is going to understand her fear. They would probably imagine she has been stung, as the reaction is so bad.

I've no doubt I've unwittingly passed this on to her, I wish I hadn't. If anyone has any tips or advice I'd really appreciate it.

Bally8

You are describing my sitation exactly. My daughter is 8 and wont go up the stairs even if she is bursting to go to the toilet if there is a spider in the landing ceiling. Sometimes they are too high up for me to reach and she wont relax until she knows they are out of the house. I was terrified of spiders as a child and now I have to be the brave one since I am the parent. I tell her that they are more scared of her than them etc but words dont help her.

I think you should try not to worry too much, it seems that maybe this is a phase all kids go through.

kelly1979

I really wouldnt stress about it...easy for me to say I know!;)
Really your doing a lot of positive things about trying to change your child's views of the creepy crawlies through stories (which by the way i'm impressed by, maybe you have a potential career in writing children's books):D

you are also keeping really calm around the bugs, so eventually she will learn to be calm also in time.

when i was younger i had a crippling phobias of wasps and bees, so much so that if a bee was buzzing around me i'd nearly jump in front of a bus to get away from it, but i grew out of it, which is probably what your daughter will do.