Can't take anymore

LegacyUser

OK so met a guy 2 years younger than me (he's now 24 and i'm 26) we feel madly in love and were convinced we were soulmates etc. It was all good for the first year, few little flights nothing massive - he was quite moody ad stubborn but no one is perfect and I could handle him. After the first year i noticed his moods were getting worse and some things in the relationship seemed quite strange to me, he lived at home with his mother (his father passed away about 8 years ago) and he nver invited me in to meet her - it was something I pushed at the start of the relationship but as time went by it became a bigger deal so i avoided the issue. Anyway, I noticed he gave out about his mother all the time, the woman had lost her husband suddenly and I could only feel sorry for her - he had then been given everything he wanted and I mean at 21 he had a BMW and now he has a Porsche....and he doesn't have a job. Anyway, despite all of this i loved him but once we hit our second year of the relationship he just lost his romantic streak completely and started flipping out over the smallest of things - the same way I had noticed him talking about his mother - as if she was a horrendous person - it was how he made me feel. Anyway, the relationship went from bad to worse, we'd be getting on fine then we would have 1 fight and he would break up with me out of the blue - he would come back the next day and I was never able to punish him, I was always so happy he came back I probably encouraged it....So, when we broke up for the last time I was suprised, heartbroken and relieved for a bit, until I reaslied he didn't want to be with me, but he would not let me go - we went through all the stages of no contact, then casual sex, then friends and then I just had enough and demanded no contact within2 weeks I was getting horrible emails telling me I'd abandoned him, followed by late night phonecalls un til we got talking again, I'd had a business idea but am not in the same financial situation as him so could not afford to do it alone, however, I love my job and was only telling him my idea - i didn't want to go through with it but he talked me in to it and put down a fair amount of money. I agreed to do the working end of things and he would look after the business stuff, Bank accounts, VAT, that kind of thing. It wasn't long before it became obvious all he wanted to do was hand out his business cards, I ended up doing all the work myself and spending so much time with him and talking to him was preventing me moving on.

On Thursday night he was out, drunk and phoned me in the middle of the night saying I was his best friend, he was lonley and missed our relationshio - he ddn't want a relationship with me but he knew hed never meet anyone like me agin that he just clicked with. He thought we were too much too soon and if we got ack together we'd be too serious and end up fighting again. I had ben convinced he was over me and in the past week and been really feeling for him so this really upset me.

The next day he told me he'd never be with me ever again and to get over it - I tried to continue on in the business as normal, he didn't go to the meeting we had planned for the next day - then manufactured a big row with me on Saturday, told me it was too much like old times and he wants out of the business.

I am still working in my job who are involved in the business now as well, I can't just throw the towel in as we have a big event happening in June - I shoudl have his money for him by then but I think he wants it now.

He's acting like he hates me and I don't know what to do - even though i know hes treated me badly, I just keep thinking we get on so well and he's had so much handed to him on a plate he reacts like this as soon as something isn 't easy?

Should I just forget him?

b3t4

Of course you should forget him.

Get a loan to pay this guy off and make sure to keep him out of your life.

Will it be tough? yes.
Will be harder than you think you're able for right now? yes.
Is it the right thing to do? yes.

This guy is bad news for you. It doesn't mean he's completely lost to the world it just means that the two of ye do not work in a relationship together.

Set yourself free from this or else you'll see a further couple of years wasted on him.

A.

Kelly O'Malley

OMG - not a Cancerian is he?
If so you are banjaxed!

RedXIV

b3t4 wrote: »

Of course you should forget him.

Get a loan to pay this guy off and make sure to keep him out of your life.

Will it be tough? yes.
Will be harder than you think you're able for right now? yes.
Is it the right thing to do? yes.

This guy is bad news for you. It doesn't mean he's completely lost to the world it just means that the two of ye do not work in a relationship together.

Set yourself free from this or else you'll see a further couple of years wasted on him.

A.

+1

a no brainer here, get out now. if you can get a loan together to buy him out, do so, just please god get him out of your life if your seeking happiness

Linoge

How is the company made up? Is it ltd/partnership or sole trader? Not to sound like a bastard, but there is fck all he can do in the short term about getting the money off you if he is not directly involved in the company (ie, just a financier). Tell him that his money is a loan to the company and not to you. He will be paid back when the company can afford it, with interest at the standard rate (just to be fair!). If he can't agree to that, let him sue you, it will be the end of the year before that will get to court. Come June offer him the amount owed in full (letter from your solicitor to his). If he declines and still drags it to court the judge would not award him any expenses or damages.

Stick it to him if he decides to be unreasonable.

STUBBORNGIRL

Oh my God that guy just sounds like the ultimate nightmare. It also sounds to me like you are making excuses for your relationship (we get on so well). Believe me if ye got on that well ye would not be fighting all the time. If he talks about his mother like that think of what he could be saying about you. or in years to come what he could say about you.

On another note pay this Fecker off and be rid for good....Go and get someone who deserves to be with you ....you are going to pass him by if you dont get this guy out of your head.... he's just around the corner from you! and remember money and material items arent everything in life! Best of luck to you though.

LegacyUser

Thanks for all your replies.

Well I collected any business documentation he had from him today. We organised it last night and to save any emotions that may have been triggered by the intensity of the situation I brought a pal along in the car. I asked if he would wait till June for his money - he agreed which was an enormous relief for me. As a previous poster suggested - he invested that money in the company, as did i - just a smaller amount but as much as i could afford too so if I were to borrow it to pay him back I would be taking a huge risk.

One I never ever would have taken had he not encouraged me to set this whole thing up.

When I returned home he had emailed me sayiing he wanted interest or profits on top of his money (10k by the way)

I told him I would absolutley compromise and ensure that he wasn't left short. He replied and said I was talking in riddles so I laid it out straight said I'd do whatever he wanted if he would just leave me alone - he knows I'm not the type of person to try and pull a fast one and I reassured him that I was not taking his loan for granted and paying him back was my biggest priority now.

He then said we would have to communicate unless I can come up with a cheque for 10k. I just feel so under pressure, I was up till 4 this morning trying to understand VAT, i'm not business minded at all, I was worried about things I know how to do already and now I'm just wondering what the hell is going to happen.

We have a limited company and are partners. I will leave his name on the company until June when hopefully I'll be able to dissolve the whole thing.

Anyway for the person who asked he's a Capricorn

Velvet Vocals

Is there anyone else who you could ask to buy out the partnership? take over the 10k and just get rid of this guy?
What about a parent or even an investor?

Apart from that the best thing that you can do is educate you self as much as you can on everything business. That way he wont be able to pull the wool over your eyes. knowledge is power, especially in a situation like this one.

Marksie

what about engaging the services of an accuntant or somene who knows company law. Let them handle the financial side if its stressing you out?

Plek Trum

There are some fairly nifty folk over on www.askaboutmoney.com that may be able tp help or direct you with your decisions regarding the business side of things. Have a browse over there and they may be able to suggest something you havent thought of.

Best of luck to you and wish you happiness in the future!

Amazotheamazing

Get somebody in to support you on the accounts, you aren't an accountant and you'll save money in the long term if you get your finances sorted now.

Also, make sure he has no claim going forward into your business. Make sure that when he's out, he's out for good.

Personally speaking, you've saved yourself a huge amount heartache down the road by getting rid of him now.

aye

Kelly O'Malley wrote: »

OMG - not a Cancerian is he?
If so you are banjaxed!

miss no stars

The guy isn't bipolar is he? Cos he sounds an awful lot like some bipolar members of my family!

Seriously though. He's making unreasonable demands that you either cough up now or communicate. Fair enough about the profits and interest. You pay him back when you had agreed to and don't worry about communicating. If he tries to sue he won't get it done by the end of June anyway. Ignore him and have him his money by June! And if you do give him interest and profits along with it there is no way in hell a judge would entertain him!

JuliusCaesar

Plek Trum wrote: »

There are some fairly nifty folk over on www.askaboutmoney.com that may be able tp help or direct you with your decisions regarding the business side of things. Have a browse over there and they may be able to suggest something you havent thought of.

+1. A brilliant resource for the self-employed - especially those who can't yet afford accountants etc. Obviously you have to take some of the advice with a pinch of salt, but a lot of accountants, lawyers and very experienced people there.

LegacyUser

well a small update- he said unless i could come up with a cheque now he wanted updates on the business. i suggested sending reports on a friday which he agreed too - our frienndship seemed over - fine.

On Thursday night however i got the following email with the subject "Moment of clariity"

Howdy

I would like to apologise for my conduct. I was totally out of order.

Now that I am all done with college, the pressure is off and I am sorry.

I know this probably wont change anything but I will do the VAT related things if you want.


All the best


I have agreed to let him to the VAT as i don't want to pay an accountant and its his money so he will do it right

I don't know what he means by "I know this probably won't change anything" - Does this mean he'd like to be friends again?

Anyway, that's not happening, god i'd just love to run away