any hope?

nataliehun

is the world still stuck in the olden days. im a single mum. just wondering do guys still freak out when they hear that?,, im ready to move on but my confidence is shattered no thanks to x and my own fears...just would love to get back out there,...the truth please!!!! are we destined to e single 4 ever?

DublinWriter

Nope...hang in there.

ModeSkeletor

I think most mature guys wouldn't have a major problem once you are honest with them from the start.. ya know?

gogglebok

I don't think many men would have a problem with someone being a single mother. We all have a past, and we're all bringing something into a relationship. Who wants to hook up with someone who hasn't had a life yet?

Good luck with everything, and I hope you build your confidence back up. You'll have fun.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

OP - quick question: where do you go to socialise/ meet people?

nataliehun

well i get out bout once a month due to lack of minders..then it would usually be town in dub.dont no 2 many ppl locally yet and finding it hard to as i work i like to spend my evening with daughter

LegacyUser

Ah if its any consolation my single mother friend always gets way more men than me!! She doesnt make it an issue, so therefore why should it be? Also guess it helps that she waits for things to develop before saying anything, but shes never had any issue.

board om

Hey OP,

once you find a nice mature man there shouldnt be a problem. i know my childs mother never had a problem enjoying life as a single mother. she has always put our childs welfare first but she has still managed to maintain a good social life. all i will say is make sure that who ever the lucky guy is that he does like kids and that he understands that your child does come first. i think there is nothing worse than meeting someone nice and they say they have no problem that you have a child, but then they start getting pi**ed off when you cant go out every single time they ask becuase you might not have a sitter, or that sometimes you might not be able to stay over in their place becuase you want to bring your child to school/creche the next morning. thats what i mean about a nice mature man, someone who doesnt mind spending weekends in watching a film and getting a take-away rather than someone who still feels the need to go out every single weekend. but overall i dont think being a single mother is as much of a big deal as it used to be.

all the best

nataliehun

thanks board om thats sweet,, feel much better now!!!

lol milf!!!

biko

You will be ok, it's just that a lot of young single guys has difficulties with the whole "baggage" thing, just as you would if you were child less and met a single dad.

Liam Byrne

Gave something like this a shot last year, and the reason it failed had nothing to do with the child.....

Yes, it makes it slightly more difficult (minders, etc) and maybe more serious (I wouldn't take being introduced to a kid too lightly because there's likely to be another angle to the relationship, or even a separate, related relationship) but as for it being a major issue on it's own ? No......it's just another factor in someone's background/experience/circumstances, and if the person's worth it, there's no problem.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

nataliehun wrote: »

well i get out bout once a month due to lack of minders..then it would usually be town in dub.dont no 2 many ppl locally yet and finding it hard to as i work i like to spend my evening with daughter

I understand it's tough when you've got a child to tend to first. I asked because, of all ths single parents who met up with someone did so by means other than a pub/club. The gym seems to be popular (especially the ones with creches). And evening courses.

Maybe you're simply not looking in the right place?

antodeco

Hey OP, I suffer from the same thing! Ive been single nearly 2 years now. I have a 4 year old daughter. Ive had a lot of potentials, but when they hear I have a child, they simply leggit! :mad:
Ive literally had a girl come up to me, start talking to me, getting on really well, and then when hearing I have a child (keyring of her on my keys) goes "Oh wow, thats really nice. Im going for a smoke. Back in a minute". Then never come back! I dont think Im THAT repulsive! lol!
I personally would have no problem with dating a single mum. Even when I didnt have my lil one, it wouldnt have made any difference to me. I was actually with a single mum for around 2 months 2 augusts ago, and was no issues. Hang in there OP, the right guy is around somewhere, and I bet he's looking for you.

Profiler

nataliehun wrote: »

is the world still stuck in the olden days. im a single mum. just wondering do guys still freak out when they hear that?,, im ready to move on but my confidence is shattered no thanks to x and my own fears...just would love to get back out there,...the truth please!!!! are we destined to e single 4 ever?

Plenty of hope.

I've a major crush on a single mother I know, her daughter is just the sweetest thing I've ever seen, so that she is a single parent is in fact a positive thing as far as I am concerned.

However she is still dealing with issues from her former husband so she isn't ready for a new relationship, in time... who knows?

Overheal

well i know of a signle mom in her 20-somethings whos been dating an acquaintance of mine on and off for the last couple years so i wouldnt say its impossible, no. I wouldhave to assume he is fairly OK with the kids thing, like.

Then of course my mom was single after the divorce: tried one relationship and he ran for the hills (because his mother told him to!) but a few years later she met a good guy and theyve been happily married for 5 years.

Never too late and never impossible

nataliehun

thanks for all the great /sweet/lovely/confidence building posts u guys!!!

will spend today smiling!!!!!:D:D:D

RedXIV

I went out with a single mother there last year and i have to admit that when she mentioned the kid at first, it scared me because i'd never handled a situation like it. But i turned out to be lucky enough because her daughter was an absolute saint, i took a great shine to her and i ended up missing her alot when it ended. There's going to be an initial shock OP, there always is but i for one have only had good experiences from dating single mothers

seraphimvc

well OP dont worry about it but as everyone said you will need a mature person

a little bits of a young man thinks:
young mum (with a kid) sounds like a big package to me,especially for us of just starting to fit in the society ,enjoy being single ,my own appartment/car etc .why would i get a young mum with a kid cause' accepting you = accepting the kid at the same time while there are lots of single girl out there?so unless there is really a spark other wise OP you will need a stable (economical) mature man

good luck!

Homer J Simpson

Hi OP,

I went out with a single Mum for about 2 years. I had absolutely no problem with it whatsoever. I used to collect her daughter from school, take her to gymnastics, doing homework etc etc. I really enjoyed the bond we formed. I preferred to stay in on a Saturday nite and watch a movie with them both then go to the pub with my mates.

My ex finished the relationship last Christmas and I must say I am heartbroken. Not only do I miss her but her daughter also. If anything I've realised that I do want kids. I've never experienced happiness before like spending time with the child.
You will defo meet someone who will love you and your child unconditionally.

Best of luck.

adam.number2

Would agree with Liam Byrne from earlier in the thread on this one... its just one facet of the relationship to consider. That may be a slight disadvantage (or possibly advantage), but only one very small part of the whole. Personally, wouldn't bother me. Good luck to the pair of you.

Eric Cartman

personally, id run a mile away but i dont want kids of my own let alone somebody elses, but i know lads who are fine with the situation and have gone out with single mothers in the past. the only problem that seems to arise is that occasionally the mother expects the new boyfriend to be a replacment father with the responsibilities (paying for school , clothes etc...) some of the stuff the real father should be paying for, but there are guys that dont have a problem with it, hang in there

Juicy

Let’s get real here; I’m a 28 year old gal with no baggage in the line of kids, etc and in my experience it’s pretty difficult as it is to find a nice guy!! I’ll be honest I would run a mile from a guy who had already had a kid. The kid will always come first with him, time wise, energy wise and as a couple you and he would never be able to move to another city/town/country away from the kid as he’s always tied to him/her. The kid will always be a financial drain on him, a type of second family. I’m not trying to be harsh, just telling it like it is and like most of my male friends would say. That’s just me and my group though, not everyone thinks like me, so if you are hot and anyway nice then you should be fine.

Fiona24

OP dont listen of the negativity on here!! Im a single mother broke up with the father of my child around 7 months ago and met my current boyfriend about 3 weeks later!! Just happened to be in the right place at the right time. He never would have been around single mothers before and I told him straight away about my daughter. He was iffy about it but I explained to him I wouldnt be wanting him to meet my daughter until I was sure about me and him and I also explained that I want a boyfriend for me - as in Im not looking for a new daddy for my daughter she already has one. He respected me big time for being honest and about a month ago he met my daughter and the few times he's seen her since he thinks she's great!!! Any man who has an issue with you being a mother isnt worth your time, it's his loss. Don't let peoples old fashioned views dampen your spirits. Get out there and socialise and you'll see very few men are anti single mothers

Ebonyellie

i had my kiddie when i was 19, and dating after that was the very same as before i ever got pregnant,(except for one bad egg) and i actually found that i was better able to judge the good guys from the bad guys better than before, it saved time! rather than finding out 6 months down the line that hes not the nice guy you thought he was. anyway when my child was three i met the love of my life, we have been together nearly 7 years and married for two, i also cannot wait to have another child with him because i know that hes is already an excellent father, oh and one more word of advice, when my child was a year old i went out with a friend of the brothers who more or less thought he deserved a medal for being associated with me, he also tried to tell me nobody else would want me - i dumped him after that and maintained my self respect - so dont let anyone treat you with less than 100% respect, after all you are important - you're someones mammy!

AnonoBoy

OP - just to chime in with my 2 cents here. I have been for some time in love with a single mother. Unfortunately she doesn't know and probably won't (oh what a PI thread that would make!) If anything the fact that she has a son makes me love her more because I see how much of a wonderful person she is as she raises him alone.

Anyway - don't worry - there's plenty of guys out there who won't be put off in the slightest if you have a kid. Personally I'm much more worried about musical taste!

McGinty

Hi Op

I would also add to the other posts by saying that being a single mum is not an issue for some guys, in all honesty I can understand why its not for some people, but when you meet someone who really cares for you, being a single mum won't be an issue. I have never had a problem meeting men and have always been up front that I have a child, and although I was single for about 4.5 years due to personal reasons, it had nothing to do with being a single parent, yes I had the odd gob****e think single mum -desperate for sex, and they were blown out immediatly. I'm glad to say that I am now with a really super guy and again, it is not a problem for him because he has a mature attitude and knew from the start what my situation is. I would add too, that if you percieve it as a problem, then it will be a problem, there are many positives about being a single mum as mentioned by many of the posters.