Abused as a child ruined my life

LegacyUser

I was abused for a year when i was 10 by a friend of my Dad.
My Dad was in hospital for 2 years he had TB and this friend of his used to come and take me out to see his animals , my mom thought it was great as i needed a father figure and as she had 2 more small children she probably looked forward to the break.
The abuse started as playing and touching at the start and as most pedo's call it grooming, I probably should say here i am male and now 44 but this has haunted me all my life and i cant talk to anyone about this.
i have been in a lot of relationships all very serious but all have ended, i wish i had got help with this earlier,if i could give you any advice i would say to get help asap and dont let this ruin your life and relationships , even now 34 years later when i think about this i get depressed.
My last relationship has just ended after 7 years and 2 kids and only now i am thinking of going to councelling, my partner says that i am incaple of showing any emotion towards her and she feels that i never loved her ,this is not true i do love her deeply but there is always a part of me that i cant share or let go.

jetski

i think the last bit of your post sums it all up.... Just tell her or someone, its not your fault... if its too hard to do it for yourself.... do it for you children

Nevyn

http://www.oneinfour.org/services/

AARRRGH

I know a girl who was repeatedly abused. Therapy (for a few years) has totally changed her life. She has now come to terms with what happened, and has been able to move on with her life.

You won't regret getting therapy, and it's not too late.

aoife000

Thaedydal wrote: »

http://www.oneinfour.org/services/

+1

OP i know a couple of people who have been abused, and the One in Four website has a support message boards, which I hear are excellend, and you should find a great deal of support there. One in Four should also be able to point you in the right direction for cousellors in your area.

foxy06

Going for councilling will help you to deal with your anger and make you better able to deal with the past. It will not erase it but it is something that you are going to have to live with. What happened to you was very wrong and the only person to blame is the person that did this to you. One in Four can help you deal with some problems but Counselling is what you need to help you with your relationship issues.

aoife000

foxy06 wrote: »

One in Four can help you deal with some problems but Counselling is what you need to help you with your relationship issues.

i think that the reason why 1 in 4 may have been suggested is because they are an organisation who provide a counselling service and if she is Dublin she could get the counselling from them, and if not then they can point her in the right direction for the area she lives in outside Dublin

foxy06

sorry I actually though that oninfour was just a discussion forum. But counselling
is definitely the way to go.

aoife000

foxy06 wrote: »

sorry I actually though that oninfour was just a discussion forum. But counselling
is definitely the way to go.

ur grand, they're similar to the rape crisis centre in that they offer a counselling service. but they also have their message boards and a great advocacy service.

seahorse

I'd just like to say my heart goes out to you OP. I know a man of around the same age who was also abused as a child at around the same age and it is remarkable how similarly the abuse has affected his life. But for a few minor different details, he could have written your post himself.

Please go for counselling. One in Four are a fantastic organisation; the man I've mentioned has also been in contact with them and they were very helpful and considerate.

I would have sent you a pm but for you are unregistered. If you want to pm me feel free. Take care.

LegacyUser

Thank you all there is some good advice there and I think I will go about counselling,
I also think that just by venting here it has helped me a lot