I am at a wedding right now - Just gone to hotel room - Depressed

LegacyUser

Hi,

I am suffering from depression for the last few years, have been running away from my feelings since I was very young, got diagnosed with major depression last august.

I am currently seeing a psyhcologist and am undergoing healing which is working but is slow to progress.

I managed fine throughout the day today but just could not hack it after my aunt pulled me out onto the dancefloor - jeeez I was self concious enough as it was. I keep going over things in my head that I have been saying to ppl today thinking of bad ways they could (and probably have in my own mind) been interpreted. My imagination is awash with all sorts of things. It's been an extremely tough day for me.

I would not mind if the wedding was over tonight and I could go home tomorrow as I have had enough of meeting ppl and trying to socialise but tomorrow everyone is meeting up again and that will be more hanging around, talking sh*t and feeling self concious and then on Sunday we have another due for my uncle which will the same people and the same craic.

What the hell am I going to do? I'm far away from home aswell so I feel like I have nowhere to escape to.

Can anyone help me out? Or should I just pretend I am sick to everyone and go home which would mean my whole party would have to go home too seeing as I'm doing the driving.

Victor

I was at a wedding nearly two years ago. Everything was more or less fine until the dancing started - everyone was enjoying themselves, merrily, but I was stone cold sober. Then I nearly ran away. I didn't, but neither was I the life of the party.

I think take a break for yourself tomorrow. Three days in a row with a bunch of half-drunk people is enough to wreck anyone's head. If you want, take off during the day, meer up for dinner if you have to and catch an early night.

mrsdewinter

I've no solutions but I feel your pain. These occasions are really tough, much more than most of us ever acknowledge. If it helps, just remember that everybody is in a world of their own. If you want to hang out there in the hotel room for the rest of the night, it'll raise little or few comments. Tommorow morning, if anybody quizzes you, just say you were knocking around til 2, or whatever, chatting to different people.
Christ, whatever happened to simple one-day weddings? A three-day family-athon would be a bit too much for most of us.
Chin up. Switch off, go to bed.
Tomorrow is another day...

Overheal

Find the teens and chill out. They can usually be found hiding in a staircase with bottles and spirits they really arent meant to be having

ixus

I don't have a lot to offer but I can tell you this.
I had a friend who recently took their life after a relations wedding. The devastation it has caused will last for along time.

If things get really bad over the night/weekend, talk to someone in your family about it. Please.

Abi

OP, you sound a bit too fragile to be mixed up in all the shanigans at the reception. There will be a time when you can get stuck in, but put the idea away for now. To anyone who asks, you think you've a bug coming on.


Im not saying to avoid all social situations, but I'd avoid big occasions if they make you feel this way. Look at positives always, not negatives.

Sounds like you are making great head way with the psychologist. What happened with you this evening was merely a hiccup, not a failure.

Keep up the good work.


A

Mr.Boots

Hmmmmmm.....I know this feeling all to well.
If you cant hack it, then get out....do something for yoursefl...something you enjoy.....whatever it is.....read, watch tv ect ect.
If you liked sky diving would you expect everyone to enjoy a day out sky diving with you???? No, you wouldnt
Social ocasions are the same....Not everyone likes them, there is nothing wrong with not liking them.....
I guarantee you went the only person in that situation tonight......everyone hides these things so well.
The best thing to do for the next couple of days is attend the functions for as long or as short a time as you are comfortable, and dont worry, just relax and be yourself.
Stop analysing yourself and your actions.
Good luck
Hope you have some fun.

Moss

Best practice treatment of Major Depressive Disorder is a combination of medication and psychotherapy. It is malpractice to treat MMD with psychotherapy alone. Your psychotherapist shouldn't do this. Its very likely there is a biological component to your illness which would need pharmacological treatment. You should see a doctor or psychiatrist.

luckat

What did the poor oul' auntie do?

Sounds as if you're *physically* very wound-up, as well as being tense and psychologically wound-up. Are you doing any physical workouts? That could help with both the physical and the psychological tension.

Incidentally, these feelings pass. When I was a sprog in my 20s, a wedding was the closest I could come to hell. De niece was married recently and I had a ball at the wedding, hanging out with the little kids, dancing a bit, joking and laughing. It's not a permanent state, pet.

Caoimhín

Wise words Moss.

OP, you realy need to put your own health first. Feck what anybody says, give yourself some space.

Redpunto

How you feeling today?

Most times at big social gatherings I just play with the kids and entertain them...that takes the pressure off having to try socialising with relations...if youre feeling that bad get outta the situation.

tell people youre not well...acutally just tell one person who can spread the news and get out....dont be worrying about explaining yourself to everybody.

LegacyUser

Moss wrote: »

Best practice treatment of Major Depressive Disorder is a combination of medication and psychotherapy. It is malpractice to treat MMD with psychotherapy alone. Your psychotherapist shouldn't do this. Its very likely there is a biological component to your illness which would need pharmacological treatment. You should see a doctor or psychiatrist.

Yeah, I was actually on medication and came off it in February. I have been doing well but this is the worst I have been so far.

Not feeling brilliant today now either, just was down for breakfast there and twas feckin' tough. I just felt really awkard and self concious.

I just want to get on really well with everyone and express my own personality so much that it's making it more difficult. I like to leave a good impression with people...that's just the way I am. I can't be the quiet boring one...even if the conversation goes well it's not enough for me unless I've proved something.

Moss

absolutelyf*ed wrote: »

Yeah, I was actually on medication and came off it in February. I have been doing well but this is the worst I have been so far.

Not feeling brilliant today now either, just was down for breakfast there and twas feckin' tough. I just felt really awkard and self concious.

I just want to get on really well with everyone and express my own personality so much that it's making it more difficult. I like to leave a good impression with people...that's just the way I am. I can't be the quiet boring one...even if the conversation goes well it's not enough for me unless I've proved something.

Why did you come off your medication? Did you talk to your doctor about it? It can take some time to get the right combination of meds. Personally, I tried everything to beat depression, including CBT, counselling, exercise, etc. and medication was the only thing that worked. Though it didn't happen straight away. I switched medications six times before I got one that worked.