Boy housemates ..... unable to clean?

ciakee

Okay so I live with two lads, we're all mid twenties, get on really well etc. etc. I do all the cleaning, I mean all the cleaning, bathroom, kitchen, the whole shebang. I never minded a whole pile because I am slightly Monica-ish and a bit of a believer in if you want a job done right.......... Thing is they're kind just takin the p**** now at this stage. I feel like I'm constantly cleaning up after em! I don't do the nagging thing, I hate wasting the energy so it was a pain having to bring it up with them and now I'm even angrier and more ticked off than I was! The answer I received was:

1. Cleaning and tidying is boring and a pain in the a**e and why should they bother when I'm the one that wants the house to be tidy (!!??)

2. They don't know how to clean or what to use, what to recycle so ergo it would make more sense that I would do it

3. No matter what they do I'll want it done better so I might as well do it in the first place.

Does any of this sound like an excuse you might have given to your mother when you were 9 when you were trying to get out of doing something? Ladies any advice or stories that will make my lads seem less ridiculous/easier to think of as adults again?

Abi

Stop cleaning completely. They are counting on your monica-like qualities.
as painful as that might be for you personally, you have to persevere if you want change.

Do an internet search on all the effects of not looking after your home.
Loads on bacteria, flies puking, maggots the whole nine yards.

Print loads of copies off and leave them all over the flat. Clean only your room in the mean time. Keep a cup, plate, knife and fork, glass etc - anything you use and keep them aside for yourself.

You are in for a rough run, so I suggest you hover till the message sinks in.

Then when they start noticing the filth, you produce a well planned out roster of who does the what in the flat.

Should plan A fail, pm me for the more evul stuff

PeakOutput

i live with 4 guys and 3 girls and the girls do NO cleaning other than clean their platesafter eating

if they spill something it dosnt get cleaned but if they are taken to task about it "we dont eat here its not our mess blah blah blah" so the lads end up doing everything or more likely living in ****

it dosnt matter if its fellas or girls some people just wont clean(im not a great cleaner either)

PeakOutput

ciakee wrote: »

3. No matter what they do I'll want it done better so I might as well do it in the first place.

i do kinda agree with that if you were nagging me after i had cleaned(attempted or whatever) id tell you to do it yourself aswell

Abi

PeakOutput wrote: »

im not a great cleaner either

I have Kim and Aggie on the line. The want to speak with you young lady.


Je suis tres serious though, no cleaning?? Bacteria fest much?! :eek:

Macha

No1 - STOP cleaning up after them! They don't deserve it. And why would they clean up when they have their own personal live-in maid?

No 2. Do up a rota. Seriously, it's like being in school but if they act like kids, then they deserve to be treated like them.

Also, sit down & make some ground rules like:
If you spill something, clean it up straight away (ie it shouldn't still be there the next morning)
If you use somthing, of which there's only one (ie one big saucepan), clean it up as soon as you can so the person coming behind you can use it.

Rota - honestly, it works.

If they don't know how to clean, you can offer to go through everything with them ONCE and then they can't use it as an excuse anymore.

I blame Irish mammies (of the older generation), babying their little boys, rushing to clean up after their darling angels. It breeds this sort of behaviour. Although, as full grown adults I'm sure they're very capable of changing their attitude, if they so wish

PeakOutput, I know where you´re coming from but doing a half-assed attempt at cleaning something like a saucepan, leaving loads of food on it, chucking it on the drying rack, patting yourself on the back & toodling off to watch TV is not OK!

Abigayle, what is the more evil stuff? Tell me!

ciakee

PeakOutput wrote: »

i do kinda agree with that if you were nagging me after i had cleaned(attempted or whatever) id tell you to do it yourself aswell

Ah but see I'm always very careful not to open my mouth if they attempt to do something and it's atrocious. I am totally anti-nagging and anyway I wouldn't want to undermine their cleaning sensibilities! The thing is they don't attempt to do anything.



As for girls not being good cleaners I have to admit this is true, I lived with 8 girls in college and after and they could be pretty hopeless too. One girl even claimed she shouldn't have to hoover because she didn't dirty the floor. (logical eh) Thing is though the others would row in every now and then and do somethin, they didn't seem to have this childlike attitude towards it!

I doubt very much I could manage to live in the house if I didn't clean anything. I hate coming home to a smelly living room with crap everywhere. Although it would be kinda funny to see what would happen if I did.......probably would end up being on Kim and Aggie coz nada would be done. Ewwww I can just imagine the take away cartons everywhere, using saucepans as bowls etc as no clean stuff available...nice

Well I would just move out if I were you.
But otherwise speaking as a grotty person, fear of reprisal is the only thing that motivates me to clean for others sakes.

PeakOutput

ciakee wrote: »

One girl even claimed she shouldn't have to hoover because she didn't dirty the floor. (logical eh)

this is exactly the type of logic my female room mates use its sooo headwrecking

im a guy by the way

ciakee

Ick, I hate the logic of some people, as I've already said I rarely like confronting people about most things, however I do think that everyone should row in and do their bit. Sometimes its the neatfreaks that are the worst. It's like if they NEVER leave anything belonging to them around the place, clean up their own dishes and so on that excuses them from the harder, less pleasant stuff like cleaning the bath or taking out the bins. One girl used the excuse "I just don't do bins". Ridiculous. Unfortunately it comes from people like me mollycoddling them.

There really is no excuse, its pure laziness. I mean would you accept a housemate that said they didn't watch the tv as much as you and so they didn't want to pay the bill, or that they were never cold and so shouldn't have to pay the heating bill. I doubt it!

Weidii

Abigayle wrote: »

Should plan A fail, pm me for the more evul stuff

Now I'm curious. I have the same problem as the OP and I'm reading this thread with great intent. Tell me your evil stuff!

ozchick

Why don't people sit down and work out the ground rules in the first place?? Of course they aren't going to do anything, why should they, you always do it for them!! Stop being taken advantage of. Chuck their muck and dishes and whatever back in their rooms! And learn to confront, or you will be walked over for the rest of your life. It's too short to spend cleaning other peoples mess up!;)

Abi

If the flyers have been ignored - plan B should be set in motion.

Go to thy local chemist and buy copious amounts of eye drops and laxatives.

Go for a juice drink or milk, something they all dive on, and in go the eye drops (not the whole thing now). It will be assumed that one is passing a bug onto the other. Casually mention it is down to the pure filth of the flat, and flounce out of the room.

The laxative trick will work with extra sneakiness. College peepulz mostly go for convienient food. If they turn their back on their pot of beans {enter alternative food here} then in go the crushed suprises. Not too many now.. just enough to send them swiftly to the facilities.

You can get some really pretty mortar and pestles in TK Maxx. They look so nice in the kitchen too

Macha

*Gasp!* You are truly an evil she-devil! Satan, thy name is Abigayle (who would have thought?)

I like!

Jules

Abigayle wrote: »

If the flyers have been ignored - plan B should be set in motion.

Go to thy local chemist and buy copious amounts of eye drops and laxatives.

Go for a juice drink or milk, something they all dive on, and in go the eye drops (not the whole thing now). It will be assumed that one is passing a bug onto the other. Casually mention it is down to the pure filth of the flat, and flounce out of the room.

The laxative trick will work with extra sneakiness. College peepulz mostly go for convienient food. If they turn their back on their pot of beans {enter alternative food here} then in go the crushed suprises. Not too many now.. just enough to send them swiftly to the facilities.

You can get some really pretty mortar and pestles in TK Maxx. They look so nice in the kitchen too.

/me puts on mod hat!

You should not be encouraging users to poison their house mates Abigayle. You never know if one of them could have an allergic reaction to some of the ingredients in the medications. ANd we don't want to end up getting into trouble, not that anyone would do things that they read on the internet!



tis funny thought

Abi

Jules wrote: »

not that anyone would do things that they read on the internet!

Pah, of course not! :pac:


Abigayle does not endorse poisoning of flat-mates, and has never par-taken in such activites.*

taconnol wrote: »

*Gasp!* You are truly an evil she-devil! Satan, thy name is Abigayle (who would have thought?)

I like!

Thats while myself and the flatmates still get on

Weidii

Abigayle, your ideas are great, it's funny actually, we have a serious problem with one of our housemates (male, mammy's boy) not cleaning and we have tried both of your methods.

When we left the place to gather dirt until he realised how disgusting it is he just never really copped on to it. In fact, my other clean housemate ended up sick from the dirt.

So we were eventually driven so up the wall that we put lots of salt in the milk and urine (cough) in the cordial (stuff that we own that he always uses) but I caved in at the last minute and made a silly excuse to throw the milk out so he wouldn't drink it.

Unfortunately for us neither of these methods have worked so far. We need to bring out the bigger guns.

Susannahmia

I'm living with another girl and two lads now, the only rule that actually worked for us is that if one person is cleaning, everyone has to clean. When the place is looking messy me and the other girl announce it is time to clean and stare and nag at the guys until they get up and start.:D They never mind though because fair is fair. Everyone gets a separate room to do and we get a different room each time. Also if everyine is cleaning at once it is so moch easier and quicker.

Obviously it would be better if they cleaned up after themselves more (they do usually pick up a bit and do most of their dishes),but this is the only system that works for us.

Faith

I'm lucky that my flatmate is quite tidy, but she has certain faults. I noticed a piece of cereal on the floor of the living room (a big shredded wheat thing) and I pointed it out, saying "Is that cereal on the floor?". She looked at it and agreed. Never cleaned it up though. It certainly wasn't mine, and she just left it on the floor for a week or so, until I noticed it again and picked it up. She also drinks lots of green tea, but won't reuse the same mug, so there ends up being 5 mugs on the coffee table of half-drunk green tea at the end of the day. Finally, she just refuses to acknowledge that bins need to be emptied. She just keeps piling stuff in...

Over the summer though, I lived in a small 4 bedroomed house with 12 others and it was appalling. Just horrific. I mean, I can't even describe it. At the start, me and a couple of others used crack every few days and clean everything, but eventually we stopped. Then the whole house would do a massive clean-up every week or so, and in an hour, it'd be filthy again. It was insane.

Abi

Weidii wrote: »

..but I caved in at the last minute and made a silly excuse to throw the milk out so he wouldn't drink it.

Unfortunately for us neither of these methods have worked so far. We need to bring out the bigger guns.

Hmm you need to grow thicker skin. I dont condon killing or making him seriously ill. But he wont see the error of his ways by scolding alone.


Is his room just as bad? Itching powder for bed + shoes and socks btw.

I saw a programme recently where one of the flatmates actually cleaned the toilet with one of the others toothbrushes. Classic, 2 birds 1 stone.

Not advising it of course.

You could go completely the other way of course. Acting skills required for this one. Become so close a friend to him that you are on talking terms with his mother. Then invite her down as a 'suprise' for her little boy.

geminilady

My girl housemates are the same, the boys are grand just the two other girls, they never cleans there plates, pots or anything. I'd be seriously embarrased if i was doing that, it really gets to me, plus they wake me up when they come in and start talking between their rooms cause they leave their bedroom doors open. Thank God, nearly out of that place!!!

Weidii

Abigayle wrote: »

I saw a programme recently where one of the flatmates actually cleaned the toilet with one of the others toothbrushes. Classic, 2 birds 1 stone.

Tempted. So tempted.

Abigayle wrote: »

You could go completely the other way of course. Acting skills required for this one. Become so close a friend to him that you are on talking terms with his mother. Then invite her down as a 'suprise' for her little boy.

His mam has been down once and I believe " I'm never ever entering that house again" were her parting words. She actually cleaned, scrubbed and disinfected the house from top to bottom while I was away for the weekend. The worst thing is I'm pretty sure she is under the impression that it's me who's the messy one, not her darling son. (It's all her fault damnit)

Abi

Weidii wrote: »

The worst thing is I'm pretty sure she is under the impression that it's me who's the messy one, not her darling son.

Oh shes one of them. Perhaps its not quite the angle she was coming from though. It certainly might explain why her son is the way he is.

I think when she visited and saw the state of the place, she expected you to look after the house because you are a woman. I.e, take over from her..

In which case, Im not so sure he will everrr get it.

You could call a house meeting, if it hasnt been done already. Issue final warnings, other wise advise him he will be out on his árse. That kind backward old school Irish can be hard to re-train. Not that you should have to. If all else fails, return to sender.

Jemmy

I feel your pain! Had major row with one of the lads last wk...

He had a freind over 2 nights running thats cool eventho hes flippin weird anyway our bin rests in the corner of the kitchen and instead of takin the full bin out they pile their crap up against the wall so i came home from college said im not cleaning that. as you do!

So he then said to me 'dont get smart about the bin you never take it out anyway'!!! So my blood started to boil bcoz im always cleaning up after the lil son of a bi atch! Leaves dishes lying around the sittin room when he goes home wknds. So i let rip told him exactly what iv been thinkin and holdin back all year and left the room without waitin to listen to him.

So i walk back in bout an hour later and you'll never guess whats he did...

Got a small tesco plastic bag and took his stuff off the top of the bin brought it down to the skip and left the full bag in the bin!

Give me strength! But only 12days left with him thank god!

Jemmy

Oh i should prob have said he came back then Monday and was as nice as pie to me!
Freak! Hes younger than me and the other guy living with me tho, never away from home before id say! Mummy still prob wipes his ass at home! haha

Sangre

out on his arse? how exactly would she get rid of him?

Abi

wrote:

how exactly would she get rid of him?

Checked the original post, didnt realise she wasnt the main lease-holder.

Thats even worse. Weidii, it depends on how bad the situation is. Is it so bad that you would leave?

I think trying to find student-digs that are kept clean would be like trying to find a needle in a hay-stack. I was trying to avoid you having to take responsibility for making sure everyone is doing their part, but if moving isnt an option.. or you could revert to plan A, but this time leave the milk in the fridge

Weidii

Abigayle wrote: »

I think when she visited and saw the state of the place, she expected you to look after the house because you are a woman. I.e, take over from her..

Yeah, they are fairly backward alright. He comes from the arse end of nowhere, is fairly racist, is fairly sexist, etc etc.

Abigayle wrote: »

You could call a house meeting

Yep, tried that a few times. Each time we get the same "I clean the bathroom, nobody else ever did it. Why should I have to do the rest of the house?" (he did it once at the start of last semester when we twisted his arm) In regards to him stealing milk "I don't take the milk, how could I? I only drink goats milk"

Abigayle wrote: »

Thats even worse. Weidii, it depends on how bad the situation is. Is it so bad that you would leave?

We told him that we didn't want to live with him a while back, didn't seem to affect him really. We even went to the landlord about it, who said that he couldn't single anyone out to give out to as he had no proof of who did it, so we just got him to come in and eat the heads off the lot of us (desperate times etc) Not surprisingly that had no effect on him either. It's ok though, I am leaving in a couple of weeks

Anyway, I think I'll stop hijacking this thread, it wasn't me who started it afterall! Thanks for the advice Abigayle, I have peae of mind knowing that I won't be here for much longer.

Abi

Weidii wrote: »

I have peae of mind knowing that I won't be here for much longer.

Well thats something! Be verrry selective about where you go

Redpunto

I dont think it'd work if OP stopped cleaning,,,,,the housemates wouldnt give a toss and OP would just get more worked up with the accumulating mess. Can ya imagine what state the loo would be at that stage

The Sweeper

I don't think you can make young house-sharers change their ways in terms of tidiness. I shared for years and it's always a pain in the arse. It's the same every time - nobody else cleans, nobody cooks, if they do clean or cook they're a cooking cleaning nazi who bitches at you all the time. I just got sick of watching some bastard scraping scrambled eggs out of my new non-stick pan with a fork, so I moved into a studio on my own.

ciakee

Okay so I was away last night and most of yesterday visiting a friend and when I got back this evening I actually nearly freakin cried, I swear.

I was attempting an all out strike in regards the cleaning carry on, I'd literally only cleaned after myself for a coupla days and was just about resisting the urge to clean ANYTHING else, bin was stinking, crumbs all over the shop....nearly killed me but I managed. I had been from time to time opening the window in one of the lads rooms to air it so the stench would be relieved a bit and not contaminate the rest of the house....I stopped doing that. Sooooo I was holding out in the hope that my little "chat" with em the other day might motivate one of em to do some bit of cleaning in my absence yesterday when they noticed the state of the place..........got in this evening and:

1) The place stinks
2) Take away stuff from last night teetering on top of the bin/beside it
3) One of em did about two weeks worth of washin and so there's clothes everywhere, meaning if I wanna wash anything i'll have to make the effrt to move it somewhere coz he's f**d off for a few days

And the most upsetting of all: someone had spilled something sticky all over the floor in the living room and just left it there....queue ants crawling all over the place, wandered in in my socks to watch tv and walked straight into it.............

The have angered me too much this time, honestly no more missus nice gal, they're getting a major bollocking when they're back on Tues.

Doodee

Bollicking won't make any difference.


2 Things motivate guys to clean:

1) OCD
2) A chick coming over.

Mor ethan likely they were overly mothered as children and therefore haven't the foggiest on how to clean and tidy. They also sound selfish as they put it "You're the one who wants the house clean".

From experience there is no way of getting them to change their habits since it goes as far back as their original nurturing.

My recommendation, save your energy about to be used in whinging and arguing, and instead start tidying your room and saving for a place for yourself.

People don't change. Ever.

Ruthee

Minesajackdaniels wrote: »

.... I just got sick of watching some bastard scraping scrambled eggs out of my new non-stick pan with a fork, s.....

This drives me insane!!!..OP,if they dont wash their dishes,just put them in their room along with all their other stuff they leave round.even if they taken em out and dont clean them,put them back in...hopefully they'll get the message..or els just move out..i couldnt handle that at all..