nervous

Suzette

I want to lose some weight, approx 2 stone, I know I should go to a gym but my self esteem is just so low that I do not think I could manage it - I get very nervous around people I don't know, get the shakes etc and I don't think I could handle a gym. I tend to go straight home after work and I rarely venture out again - it is a chore to even go to the shop - I know its down to self esteem issues - I feel as if people are looking at me and judging me for being overweight.

I have read alot of posts on boards about weight loss and exercising, but I don't know where to start. I want to buy a piece of exercise equipment that I can use in my home - does anyone have any suggestions? What would be good for weight loss and toning up? I have tried a treadmill before but it didn't really do much good.

Dragan

If you will excuse me for getting a bit Dr Phil on things I think the best thing you could do is just go outside.

The world and the people in it are generally speaking too busy to judge someone they are just passing in the street. I think it would be a great idea for you to just start walking in the evenings, it's free, it's good for you and it's a good way to start on the road to fitness. I think you will find that you enjoy being outside, especially during the summer! Pop in a pair of ear phones and start walking and you'll be amazed how good even that small victory will make you feel.

Post up your daily diet in this thread, the key to weight loss is normally in someone's diet and we can help you with that as well.

For what it's worth I used to like you, painfully shy, very self concious, I wouldn't even walk to the shop for my Mum when I was about 16 or so. This shyness continued right up and into college. These days I don't think anyone who know's me now would believe I used to be so shy. I overcame it by just putting myself into situations where I would have to face my fear, small things at first and then slowly bigger and bigger things until finally I almost forgot I ever used to be afraid of such situations.

Self confidence can be just like your health and fitness, a small bit of consistant work every day will pay off in major ways.

aye

Dragan wrote: »

If you will excuse me for getting a bit Dr Phil on things I think the best thing you could do is just go outside.

The world and the people in it are generally speaking too busy to judge someone they are just passing in the street. I think it would be a great idea for you to just start walking in the evenings, it's free, it's good for you and it's a good way to start on the road to fitness. I think you will find that you enjoy being outside, especially during the summer! Pop in a pair of ear phones and start walking and you'll be amazed how good even that small victory will make you feel.

Post up your daily diet in this thread, the key to weight loss is normally in someone's diet and we can help you with that as well.

For what it's worth I used to like you, painfully shy, very self concious, I wouldn't even walk to the shop for my Mum when I was about 16 or so. This shyness continued right up and into college. These days I don't think anyone who know's me now would believe I used to be so shy. I overcame it by just putting myself into situations where I would have to face my fear, small things at first and then slowly bigger and bigger things until finally I almost forgot I ever used to be afraid of such situations.

Self confidence can be just like your health and fitness, a small bit of consistant work every day will pay off in major ways.

+1

Jimmy Bottlehead

Great post, g'wan the Dragan-man.

celestial

Dragan wrote: »

If you will excuse me for getting a bit Dr Phil on things I think the best thing you could do is just go outside.

The world and the people in it are generally speaking too busy to judge someone they are just passing in the street. I think it would be a great idea for you to just start walking in the evenings, it's free, it's good for you and it's a good way to start on the road to fitness. I think you will find that you enjoy being outside, especially during the summer! Pop in a pair of ear phones and start walking and you'll be amazed how good even that small victory will make you feel.

Post up your daily diet in this thread, the key to weight loss is normally in someone's diet and we can help you with that as well.

For what it's worth I used to like you, painfully shy, very self concious, I wouldn't even walk to the shop for my Mum when I was about 16 or so. This shyness continued right up and into college. These days I don't think anyone who know's me now would believe I used to be so shy. I overcame it by just putting myself into situations where I would have to face my fear, small things at first and then slowly bigger and bigger things until finally I almost forgot I ever used to be afraid of such situations.

Self confidence can be just like your health and fitness, a small bit of consistant work every day will pay off in major ways.

+2. Good post.

The very act of going outside in the fresh air will make you feel good, the very act of sorting out your diet and cutting out any junk food/drink will make you feel good - it's a knock-on effect when it comes to these things.

With the sun shining and the weather getting warmer it's great timing for getting out there! Plus I'd echo Dragan's comments - you'll find that people are just too wrapped up in themselves and what's going on in their lives to even notice what you look like. Try it and see.

JJ6000

Dragan wrote: »

If you will excuse me for getting a bit Dr Phil on things I think the best thing you could do is just go outside.

The world and the people in it are generally speaking too busy to judge someone they are just passing in the street. I think it would be a great idea for you to just start walking in the evenings, it's free, it's good for you and it's a good way to start on the road to fitness. I think you will find that you enjoy being outside, especially during the summer! Pop in a pair of ear phones and start walking and you'll be amazed how good even that small victory will make you feel.

Post up your daily diet in this thread, the key to weight loss is normally in someone's diet and we can help you with that as well.

For what it's worth I used to like you, painfully shy, very self concious, I wouldn't even walk to the shop for my Mum when I was about 16 or so. This shyness continued right up and into college. These days I don't think anyone who know's me now would believe I used to be so shy. I overcame it by just putting myself into situations where I would have to face my fear, small things at first and then slowly bigger and bigger things until finally I almost forgot I ever used to be afraid of such situations.

Self confidence can be just like your health and fitness, a small bit of consistant work every day will pay off in major ways.

Great post Dragan.

Weight training and carrying a lot of muscle has boosted my confidence immeasurably.

Like Dragan, I also used to be very introverted. I am a different person now and when I look back at the person I used to be, I honestly cant believe I used to be that way. It was not that long ago either.

You might also want to consider some professional help (ie. counselling) if you're anxiety issues are that bad....I think that would be an issue for the personal forum though.

In any case, you can take solace in the fact that things CAN and WILL change for you if you are willing to take the necessary steps to achieve it. You just have to be willing to tackle the problem. Like Dragan said, make yourself go outside, play some sports, go to the gym...whatever. You will probably find it difficult at first but trust me, that will change. You need some sort of outlet to boost your confidence (your confidence will not increase all on it's own)....and sports/gym is PROVEN time and time again to be a great outlet.

Will it be easy? Nope.
Is it possible? Absolutely 100%!

Be very careful with conciously secluding yourself, since you are effectively making yourself your own worst enemy. You need to conciously force a change...regardless of how uncomfortable it will make you at first. The first step is acknowledging what the problem/issue is, since you can't change what you don't first acknowledge. (Christ, I think that was actually a DIRECT dr. phil quote...LOL!!)

wylo

all good advice, also try posting this in the personal issues section as well, alot of good advice will be given there. Also why dont you try some light circuit training at home to get you going in the mean time because I do understand its easy for everyone to write "just do it" even though it is the best advice. You dont need any equipment to get fit and lose weight if you ask me.

The most important thing to remember is that it will NOT be easy, both mentally and physically. You CANNOT just click your fingers and wish away 2 stone. You either want to lose it or you dont and if you do you must work hard.You have to resist making excuses to yourself, battle through that unconfident nervous feeling and just plough ahead. Its the first time thats the hardest.

thebiggestjim

Hey Suzette,

I want to echo what wylo said here, he (or she) hit the nail on the head. Its a difficult thing to change your life like this but FAR FROM IMPOSSIBLE. A lot of people have done this before and have succeded, but some have failed. In order for you to reach your goals,

1) Be prepared to work hard and not take shortcuts
2) Take care of what you eat, regular proper meals no junk.
3) Exercise 3/4 per week. This can take different forms walking, running working in the garden, anything that gets your heart rate elevated for 30-40 mins at least.
4) when the going gets tough be strong and keep to your routine

When you have reached your goals (and you will if you stick to your guns) be proud of yourself and the undoubted sense of wellbeing that will follow.

Good Luck,

Jim

wylo wrote: »

The most important thing to remember is that it will NOT be easy, both mentally and physically. You CANNOT just click your fingers and wish away 2 stone. You either want to lose it or you dont and if you do you must work hard.You have to resist making excuses to yourself, battle through that unconfident nervous feeling and just plough ahead. Its the first time thats the hardest.

fatal

Dragan wrote: »

If you will excuse me for getting a bit Dr Phil on things I think the best thing you could do is just go outside.

The world and the people in it are generally speaking too busy to judge someone they are just passing in the street. I think it would be a great idea for you to just start walking in the evenings, it's free, it's good for you and it's a good way to start on the road to fitness. I think you will find that you enjoy being outside, especially during the summer! Pop in a pair of ear phones and start walking and you'll be amazed how good even that small victory will make you feel.

Post up your daily diet in this thread, the key to weight loss is normally in someone's diet and we can help you with that as well.

For what it's worth I used to like you, painfully shy, very self concious, I wouldn't even walk to the shop for my Mum when I was about 16 or so. This shyness continued right up and into college. These days I don't think anyone who know's me now would believe I used to be so shy. I overcame it by just putting myself into situations where I would have to face my fear, small things at first and then slowly bigger and bigger things until finally I almost forgot I ever used to be afraid of such situations.

Self confidence can be just like your health and fitness, a small bit of consistant work every day will pay off in major ways.

Great advice!