Need Help

Phil01

ok,
I met a girl a few years ago, and im thinking of marrying her, but there is a problem, she is seventh day adventist. I'm Catholic. There is no way im converting to her religion and she doesnt want to become a Catholic. So basically what options are open to me?
What are the steps and requirments for a mixed marrage?
Is it hard to get?
Does a Catholic priest have to say the wedding, or can a pastor from her church do it?
Does the wedding have to be in a catholic church?
And finally, is there any other option on how we can get married?

This is a big problem i've run into. I need your help!!!

neuro-praxis

well first things first: if you want to marry this girl, this problem is not going to be the obstacle.

I can't tell you much about the 7th Day Adventists but I imagine that she is not especially devout (considering she's willing to marry you ).

Within Catholicism, mixed marriages are quite a simple affair and they are governed by Matrimonia Mixta, a regulation from 1970. The church may discourage marriage outside Catholicism but they aren't going to put up too many obstacles.

If your wife-to-be is happy to get married in a Catholic church and is happy to go to a Catholic marriage prep course then that should be pretty straightforward. Contact the parish priest, meet him for a coffee and he'll lay it out for you.

robindch

Well, I'm coming at it from the perspective of an atheist

Personally, I wouldn't consider marrying somebody if their religious (or irreligious) beliefs were more important to them than the relationship, and neither would I consider myself suitable for marriage if I considered my own beliefs were more important than the relationship either.

It sounds to me like you're both married to your religions at the moment and if you're both going to stay that way, then I wouldn't suggest that you get married to each other. It'll just cause unhappiness.

Sorry I can't be more optimistic.

Phil01

neuro-praxis wrote: »

If your wife-to-be is happy to get married in a Catholic church and is happy to go to a Catholic marriage prep course then that should be pretty straightforward.

She not entirely happy about this, wasn't there a law brought in last year i think, that said catholic marrages could now take place outside of churches?
So, could i do this, could we get married somewhere else besides the church. To make it less formal.

JimiTime

Phil01 wrote: »

ok,
I met a girl a few years ago, and im thinking of marrying her, but there is a problem, she is seventh day adventist. I'm Catholic. There is no way im converting to her religion and she doesnt want to become a Catholic. So basically what options are open to me?

Well, on a positive, you are both coming from the world of Christendom, so you at least have a common ground. If you are both sticking to your religions because its just what you were raised as, then encourage each other to look deeper into your religions so you know why you are accepting/rejecting each others faith. Remember, the biggest issue can be children. You want them to be catholic, she wants them to be adventist. It can be a big problem.

What are the steps and requirments for a mixed marrage?
Is it hard to get?
Does a Catholic priest have to say the wedding, or can a pastor from her church do it?
Does the wedding have to be in a catholic church?
And finally, is there any other option on how we can get married?

This is a big problem i've run into. I need your help!!!

Remember marriage is in the heart. Its not at an altar etc. All you need is a registrar. It can be done in a building of your choice, you just pay the registrar instead of a priest or minister to come to it and they perform the ceremony there.

However, I think this is a time to truly explore your Faith and discover where it lies. I hope you make the right decisions.

humanji

Why does he need to explore his faith? He knows what he is, she knows what she is. There's no problem there at all.

crotalus667

JimiTime wrote: »

Remember, the biggest issue can be children. You want them to be catholic, she wants them to be adventist. It can be a big problem.
.

My great granparents where mixed one chatloic one church of england , so the agreed that the boys would be raised chruch of england and the girls chatolic

dude simple solution get married in a registry office (they are the ones that brought in the law last year that means you can have a civil service out side the registry office) once that’s done have a small service in her church then a small service in yours (it doesn’t have to be on the same day) everyone’s as happy as they are going to be and you get to brag for the rest of your life that you got to marry the woman you love 3 times

JimiTime

humanji wrote: »

Why does he need to explore his faith? He knows what he is, she knows what she is. There's no problem there at all.

thats that so. you seem quite certain of that.

Anyway, in the context of my first paragraph, you'll see the relevence...........hopefully.

JimiTime

crotalus667 wrote: »

My great granparents where mixed one chatloic one church of england , so the agreed that the boys would be raised chruch of england and the girls chatolic

If you believe that COE or RC is the true path, then each of you is letting either the boys or the girls down. If you believe that they are much of a muchness, then why is it an issue? Is it that its just tradition? If so, then thats not faith, and it doesn't fall under my advice anyway. Am I safe in assuming you are not a person of faith yourself?

humanji

JimiTime wrote: »

thats that so. you seem quite certain of that.

Anyway, in the context of my first paragraph, you'll see the relevence...........hopefully.

Ah, I appologise. I thought it was in reference to the second paragraph and couldn't see the relevance

JimiTime

humanji wrote: »

Ah, I appologise. I thought it was in reference to the second paragraph and couldn't see the relevance

200 lines for u!

'jimitime is never wrong.'

to be handed in lunchtime Monday:D

humanji

Yes sir. Sorry sir. A bigger boy made me do it.

Tim Robbins

robindch wrote: »

Well, I'm coming at it from the perspective of an atheist

Personally, I wouldn't consider marrying somebody if their religious (or irreligious) beliefs were more important to them than the relationship, and neither would I consider myself suitable for marriage if I considered my own beliefs were more important than the relationship either.

It sounds to me like you're both married to your religions at the moment and if you're both going to stay that way, then I wouldn't suggest that you get married to each other. It'll just cause unhappiness.

Sorry I can't be more optimistic.

Would you enter into a relationship with someone with different beliefs to you?

robindch

Tim Robbins wrote: »

Would you enter into a relationship with someone with different beliefs to you?

If the needs of our respective beliefs were secondary to needs of the relationship, then yes, I don't see any problem.

Where intractable problems arise is when one side or the other (or both) declare themselves incapable of error, or of being able to adapting to the other person's negotiable needs. In response, the other person shouldn't be demanding non-negotiable things either.