Men & Housework

LegacyUser

My partner generally will not " a grocery shop" or clean the house unless i ask him too.. he always waits for me to suggest dinner even though he could be home hours before me ...
yes he is makes it up in other ways im not necessarily having a go at him he is just a very laid back kind of guy the problem is when i do have to ask i feel like im nagging and i hate it ....
Any suggestions on how i can get him to do these things without me having to ask ????
I no its not a do or die situation and lads will be lads but how do you get things done without repetition and nagging ????????

Puffin

Cleaning is a tricky one, but grocery shopping and dinner aren’t- just don’t do them. When he asks you what’s for dinner, or if there are any snacks in the house just shrug your shoulders and ask him to move out of the way of the television.

RedXIV

reward system. guys are simple. you come home to a clean house and cooked meal, do something nice for him. Let's face it, from what you stated, if he pulls that off, he deserves it

LegacyUser

Puffin wrote: »

Cleaning is a tricky one, but grocery shopping and dinner aren’t- just don’t do them. When he asks you what’s for dinner, or if there are any snacks in the house just shrug your shoulders and ask him to move out of the way of the television.

Trouble is when i get home im starving and i hate getting home and then have to go back out again , i work long hours .. if i didnt bring it up i swear he would sit there till 9 at night and then open a discussion on whats for dinner !! yet when i get home and start cooking he will eat it straight away ...

i do try rewards but i think when i give him a reward he seems to think Cool , thats me done cooking for another couple of months !!!!!

syklops

I do most of the cooking in our house. My GF asks if I have plans for dinner, which I normally do, and I go to the shop and then cook it, partly because I like to cook, and partly because I am home first. I actually take pride in having the dinner started by the time she arrives. When i cook, the deal is she cleans up after and vice versa.

My girlfriend tried to ask me to do things and give me a deadline to do them in to "get me to do housework". It didnt work because to be honest I was a bit insulted by the statement. I then stopped doing anyhting in the house, and she soon realised how much I actually do in the house. We now have a great system which is if one of us decides the sitting room needs to be tidied, for example, we do it together. It takes half the time, and no one person feels like they are doing everything.

Can he cook? If he can't then you can't blame him if he is not able to cook. However there is no excuse for not doing the shopping. My GF and I do the shopping together, so next time bring him along and get him to go and get things for you.

Do you buy the beer for him as well? If so, next time dont get any. Say it was too heavy for you, and if he goes to get some ask him to get something you 'forgot'.

LegacyUser

Im prob more annoyed cause im the organiser , i like to no what we are doing for dinner and then get it on way home ( cause ill be waiting till im grey for him to offer to get it ) so i can chill for the eve and not have to go out again after getting home , but because i do this i end up obviously paying for it cause we dont really do a weekly shop... which obviously we should do .......

unreg2008

unreg2008 wrote: »

My partner generally will not " a grocery shop" or clean the house unless i ask him too.. he always waits for me to suggest dinner even though he could be home hours before me ...
yes he is makes it up in other ways im not necessarily having a go at him he is just a very laid back kind of guy the problem is when i do have to ask i feel like im nagging and i hate it ....
Any suggestions on how i can get him to do these things without me having to ask ????
I no its not a do or die situation and lads will be lads but how do you get things done without repetition and nagging ????????

Have you tried sitting him down and telling him sometime that you feel like you're nagging and would like to change the way things are being done

seamus

unreg2008 wrote: »

Im prob more annoyed cause im the organiser , i like to no what we are doing for dinner and then get it on way home ( cause ill be waiting till im grey for him to offer to get it ) so i can chill for the eve and not have to go out again after getting home , but because i do this i end up obviously paying for it cause we dont really do a weekly shop... which obviously we should do .......

Then chances are he's become used to this arrangement. He doesn't offer because he knows you probably already have something planned, so if he goes ahead and just does what he thinks is best, he'll be disrupting your plans.

You just need to break the cycle. Talk to him earlyish in the day. "I'm going to be home at X, would you mind doing the dinner?". He shouldn't say no. Then as someone else said, praise him for doing it. You shouldn't have to, but us men are simple creatures. We respond very well to positive reinforcement.
Soon enough you'll be talking to him and he'll offer to make dinner later on.

AngryBadger

Sounds to me like on the one hand you've taken over the running of the household, which he's has no problem with, but you're expecting him to chip in without actually communicating that to him.

A girl I'm living with has very different views on cleaning to mine. I consider ymself very hygenic, I shower everyday, when I'm cooking I clean up after myself, generally don't leave a mess, and give my room a clean at least once a week.

To me that's clean enough, it may not be glowing white, but I know I'm not going to get the herp if I drop a fork on the floor or whatever.

She seems to think the whole house should constantly be glowing white, and sterile. To this end she was constantly leaving notes "lads leave things as ye find them" and so on, and eventually drew up a "roster" which involved each of us cleaning the ENTIRE house once a week, which amounted to the whole house being cleaned three times a week from top to bottom. Which is bull****. In the end we got a cleaner in, so we all have to pay an extra €40 a month just so the house can be as clean as she feels it should be.

My point (other than a sneaky rant disguised as advice ) is that men and women often have very different views on what's acceptable/not acceptable. Your bf may genuinely not realise that you want him to be more active in keeping the house ticking over, and to be frank from what you've posted it doesn't sound like you've outlined what you want to him.

Talk to him about it, and be ready to compromise, he may not agree with what you consider needs to be done.

LegacyUser

Thanks for the posts , for the male posters especially its great to get insight , thanks again

Puffin

Reward system?!?

So if women should provide men with a little treat every time they do some housework, should men provide women with treat every time they go out to a workplace and earn money?

humanji

As said above, talk to him. And be firm. If he doesn't start helping out, then when you come home from work, cook your own dinner and let him sort himself out.

RedXIV

the reward system works because guy's like to get rewarded. be it a smile, a back rub or more, the fact of the matter is, if he learns that doing this makes her happy, which in turn makes him happy, he'll be far more inclined to do it.

Guys ARE SIMPLE!

Jack B. Badd

Puffin wrote: »

Reward system?!?

So if women should provide men with a little treat every time they do some housework, should men provide women with treat every time they go out to a workplace and earn money?

Yeah, I'm not too impressed with this idea either. It sets things up so that housework is the woman's responsibility which is then delegated to the guy as she sees fit. It also sounds more than a little Pavlovian and I don't think I could I could respect a guy who depended on something like that.
When I moved in with my boyfriend we were both happy to share the cooking as we both enjoy it but I fell into the role of telling him what to do when it came to housework. He had no problem with that arrangement but I felt like I was nagging him. Once I explained that to him and stated that I didn't particularly want to be the one with the "fun" job of being in charge of cleaning and so on things were fine. OP, if you haven't already I'd suggest sitting down and explaining to him that you'd like him to be more autonomous (for want of a better word) when it comes to housework. If that doesn't work then maybe you can consider treating him like a mindless animal.

finbarrk

Thats ridiculous if he is home a few hours before you and doesn't have dinner ready, you obviously have let him get used to you getting the food and cooking it.
Try something like every second evening maybe.

Sherifu

unreg2008 wrote: »

Thanks for the posts , for the male posters especially its great to get insight , thanks again

Let us know what happens.

scoot on

finbarrk wrote: »

Thats ridiculous if he is home a few hours before you and doesn't have dinner ready, you obviously have let him get used to you getting the food and cooking it.
Try something like every second evening maybe.

I really don't think it's about getting used to something. He is taking her for granted. When I moved in with my bf first I was in college and he was working so I used to do the housework and make the dinners. When I graduated and went out working I started working longer hours than he did and even though he was used to do everything the routine changed without any problem at all. Now he does the majority of the housework and cooks the dinners. OP you need to talk to your bf, in my eyes he's being completely selfish and needs to be told that you're not going to act like his mother from now on. He needs to show some appreciation for the fact that you work too and may be tired after a hard day when you get home.

Overheal

RedXIV wrote: »

the reward system works because guy's like to get rewarded. be it a smile, a back rub or more, the fact of the matter is, if he learns that doing this makes her happy, which in turn makes him happy, he'll be far more inclined to do it.

Guys ARE SIMPLE!

We really are. Have to agree with the small rewards there; we're just dogs. Give us a treat and we'll learn how to roll over now and again Before long he'll start taking the initiative. Positive reinforcement. You don't need to say anything but stuff like back rubs and whatever else is really all the reinforcement we need. I give him a month to figure out cooking = good.

MissHoneyBun

I think it's a copout saying men should be rewarded for taking responsibility for such basic things as cooking and cleaning. He's a grown man for god's sake, it's time he stopped acting like a spoilt teenager

RedXIV

MissHoneyBun wrote: »

I think it's a copout saying men should be rewarded for taking responsibility for such basic things as cooking and cleaning. He's a grown man for god's sake, it's time he stopped acting like a spoilt teenager

Maybe he's just used to it? alot of mothers mother their son's completely. I'm at home for a few weeks between jobs and my mother won't let me do anything for myself even though life in college has proved i'm capable. But i know guys that have been mothered to the stage that they are incapable of looking after themselves. The reward system is what i suggest because

1) She's happy, he's doing more work
2) He's happy, he's getting rewards for doing nice things

Don't get me wrong, i'm all for women's rights and stuff but your kinda flying off the handle when all ya have to do is use a few simple tricks. Guys are simple, if we were complicated, women probably still wouldn't have the vote

Loopy

RedXIV wrote: »

Guys ARE SIMPLE!

Uh huh:D

I agree with Puffin, why should we reward our men for cleaning or cooking.. They aren't kids.. If you both live in the house it should be equal.

OP, I'd tell him how you feel and maybe think about doing the weekly shop, save you going out in the evenings. You could call him from work and tell him to get the spuds on you will be home in half an hour...

Jack B. Badd

RedXIV wrote: »

The reward system is what i suggest because

1) She's happy, he's doing more work
2) He's happy, he's getting rewards for doing nice things

He's not doing nice things, he's doing everyday, mundane though necessary things. Do you really think cleaning the loo or doing the washing up qualify as "doing nice things"? I don't (and I doubt I'm alone)! :rolleyes:

RedXIV

Jack B. Badd wrote: »

He's not doing nice things, he's doing everyday, mundane though necessary things. Do you really think cleaning the loo or doing the washing up qualify as "doing nice things"? I don't (and I doubt I'm alone)! :rolleyes:

"Nice things" as in that he is doing something that she has been doing for so long to try and make her happy. i didn't mean the task itself is nice.

Nevyn

Reward system ?
Like what 5 gold stars and he gets an extra blowjob, 20 gold stars and he gets anal ?
FFS

Agree to split the chores down the middle,
go food shopping and plan a menu together for the week.
Agree to share the cooking, really your ment to be two adults sharing the joys of cohabiting not two kids waiting for someone to explain things about how it should be done.

Too many women assume they have to by default take on so many of the household chores and many men assume that the women they are living with expect it this way.

Get a system, get a rota.

Agent J

Screw the reward system

I would back up the people who are suggesting to leave him to his own devices about food.


Have a word about him pulling his weight.
Then come home and fix your own dinner if he hasnt already and let him take care of himself.

Rinse and repeat?

Do you do laundy for him?
Stop that too until he pulls his own weight

Its the carrot or the stick approach and the carrot with only work for a period of time. Also its not fair.

Break out the stick.

Overheal

RedXIV wrote: »

Maybe he's just used to it? alot of mothers mother their son's completely. I'm at home for a few weeks between jobs and my mother won't let me do anything for myself even though life in college has proved i'm capable. But i know guys that have been mothered to the stage that they are incapable of looking after themselves. The reward system is what i suggest because

1) She's happy, he's doing more work
2) He's happy, he's getting rewards for doing nice things

Don't get me wrong, i'm all for women's rights and stuff but your kinda flying off the handle when all ya have to do is use a few simple tricks. Guys are simple, if we were complicated, women probably still wouldn't have the vote

indeed! Irish mothers are the worst :eek: I've never seen such pampering in my life. My step brother used to just go Mammy make me a cereal and god love her she did. It only goes downhill from there. I was at a digs earlier in the year and that woman was sick for ironing everyones laundry and putting up with their abuse.. Id've beat the lot of them if it were my place :mad:

But again: we're animals through and through. Teach me a trick and watch me sit.

As to advocates of abandoning him to do his own thing: you have to treat us like dogs. What happens when you neglect your dog and you stop feeding it? Well besides digging through the trash and eating its own poo its not going to like you very much. Starting a boycott war over this will be the first nudge down the hill methinks.

Believe me if canines were capable they would have the entire house spotless for you if it meant the simple privilege of sitting on the couch or sleeping in the bed.

Its not even a trick; just back him up with a little affection for getting his hands dirty. I'd rip the horns off a rhinoceros with my bare hands if there was a back rub in it for me; or a hug; or you know, just any number of little signs of affection.

so thats why dad did so much DIY...

Miss Thaed wrote:

Reward system ?
Like what 5 gold stars and he gets an extra blowjob, 20 gold stars and he gets anal ?
FFS

so thats why dad did so much Carpentry...

Beruthiel

Thaedydal wrote: »

Reward system ?
Like what 5 gold stars and he gets an extra blowjob, 20 gold stars and he gets anal ?
FFS.

lol
Couldn't agree more.
He's an adult.
Pick a day that you can both do a weekly food shopping. Plan your dinners for the week and stock up.
My bloke can't cook so I do it all. However, I haven't washed up in eight years. It's all about splitting the jobs.

LegacyUser

Oh well last night went down a treat , not .
It started out great , OH decided to treat me to take away , no complaints from me and actually collected it and brought it home so it was ready for when i got home
He is going away for the weekend and i am having some friends over so i asked him would he help me tidy up . he said no prob .....
so i start cleaning upstairs , he goes down stairs with a load of washing and stays down there , i continue to clean the bathrooms etc assuming he is doing the laundry ... when i come down , i find him not doing the laundry but reading the paper , so i say i thought you were doing laundry and annoyed i said well you sweep the floors upstairs , which he does . he comes down again and i go into the bathroom and the floor isnt even done , he claims he gave it a little sweep , so i come down and get the brush and he grabs it off me and in a sulk goes up to re-do the floor ... i had to look at him with a puss on him then for the rest of the night .
wonderful . kids will be a breeze after dealing with him !

Sherifu

Sounds like he has been getting away with it for too long.

LegacyUser

Oh i dont no , its so frustrating having to put a plan together , rephrase - that I have to put a plan together just to get a dinner already made and some cleaning done every now and again ... I mean , why is it so hard for men to come up with this stuff on there own , is my partner just one of those men who are just born with no initiative ????

Nevyn

unreg2008 wrote: »

Oh well last night went down a treat , not .
It started out great , OH decided to treat me to take away , no complaints from me and actually collected it and brought it home so it was ready for when i got home
He is going away for the weekend and i am having some friends over so i asked him would he help me tidy up . he said no prob .....
so i start cleaning upstairs , he goes down stairs with a load of washing and stays down there , i continue to clean the bathrooms etc assuming he is doing the laundry ... when i come down , i find him not doing the laundry but reading the paper , so i say i thought you were doing laundry and annoyed i said well you sweep the floors upstairs , which he does . he comes down again and i go into the bathroom and the floor isnt even done , he claims he gave it a little sweep , so i come down and get the brush and he grabs it off me and in a sulk goes up to re-do the floor ... i had to look at him with a puss on him then for the rest of the night .
wonderful . kids will be a breeze after dealing with him !

He acts like that and you are still considering having kids with him ?
Are you mad ?

Seriously think about all the extra work a baby is and the mess kid make when they start crawling and walking ?
Chances are unless things change dramatically in the household you will be left doing all that as well by default.

If you are both working a full week then you need to find away to split things between the pair of ye and sort out what you both consider clean.

hunnymonster

Thaedydal wrote: »

..... and sort out what you both consider clean.

This could me an important point. Do you both require the same level of cleanness and order?
option 1: he realises what needs to be done but is lazy or knows you will do it
option 2: he is happy with a level of mess you can't tolerate and will eat crisps rather than cook dinner

you can do a lot about option 1 but less about option 2.

blah

unreg2008 wrote: »

Oh i dont no , its so frustrating having to put a plan together , rephrase - that I have to put a plan together just to get a dinner already made and some cleaning done every now and again ... I mean , why is it so hard for men to come up with this stuff on there own , is my partner just one of those men who are just born with no initiative ????

You could try eating before you go home, in a cafe or take away or something. Then don't eat when you arrive home and let him figure it out himself. And not clean and let the place turn into a pigsty. But he might be happy to live in his own filth.

sn00ps

Ha ha OP this was my life for the first couple of years living with my now husband!

I was a tidy freak, still am to a certain extent, and he is very very laid back. To the point of falling asleep standing up ..

However, I love him. Simple as that. We had to find a way to work this through as we certainly weren't breaking up over house work!!

I realised after a year of fighting over who does the cleaning and who gets dinner and how unfair it was that I end up doing everything that it didn't bother him so it was pointless fighting over it.

I was spending my entire weekend cleaning and not enjoying just living with this guy, when I was in work I missed being with him and all weekends I sulked because I HAD to to do the housework and he didn't help.

I found a solution and my saviour, our cleaner. She is an angel. Comes in once a week for a couple of hours and keeps the house under control. I can relax at weekends and have fun with my OH and to be honest over the years (8 of them now) he started cooking .. and enjoying it, as he didn't HAVE to do it.

He now does most of the grocery shopping as he reckons I spend too much money when I go and we split the non house chores.

He does the garden and I do inside DIY! Neither of us love these jobs but they have to be done .. so we discuss who does what and draw up a list with the " have to be done by" date. This way he gets to pick when he does them, even if it's a manic weekend of doing it all, so he can watch football, surf the net, or veg in front of the TV all the other days.

Once we have major stuff finished we treat ourselves to a night out/holiday. This is the treat approach but works for us both.

All this may sound trivial but I hear your pain .. and believe me once you realise that this is just it .. YOUR pain .. all will be better for you. This isn't about what is fair it's about your reality and whether everything else in your lives together is great. If it does then what are you stressing about?

However, as I said above, the key thing here was I love my OH. Everything else is trivial ..

HTH and good luck .. remember this is a long term project

milkerman

Thaedydal wrote: »

Reward system ?
Like what 5 gold stars and he gets an extra blowjob, 20 gold stars and he gets anal ?
FFS

I will explore this proposition with my missus.

The jobs need to be split somewhere down the middle, particularly if both parties have jobs outside the home. Explain this to him. He probably saw his mother do everything and presumes you should do the same.

NextSteps

It is very annoying having to ask for things to be done, or having to point them out, or having to clean up after his cleaning! And it does make you feel like a nag. But at the same time doing it yourself is unfair and unhealthy because you will (rightly) resent it.

But I don't know what the answer is. Maybe suggest you take turns with the cooking?

Nevyn

Thaedydal wrote: »

Reward system ?
Like what 5 gold stars and he gets an extra blowjob, 20 gold stars and he gets anal ?
FFS

I would just like to point out my comments were not in any way degoratory of
people live a agreed and consensual power exchange/dom/sub life style.

At least in such arrangement there are clear lines drawn unlikes what seems to the blundering along which seem to happen in 'normal' relationships.

hawker

I'm sorry but I think this lad is an inconsiderate @sshole.

I'm married with 3 kids and and we both work As I'm on flexitime I can go to work early and leave in the afternoon early to collect the kids. Therefore as I'm home first, I do the dinner. It was never any big deal. I regularly do the shopping for the house. Again it's no big deal.

It's all about a little bit of give and take. I'm not the worlds best husband by any means (I hate hoovering and gardening) but I respect my wife enough to do these 'chores' without a second thought.

LegacyUser

Well i was talking to him earlier , and i was saying how childish his behaviour was last night,( after i had to ask him to redo the floor) i suggested we do a weekly shop and split the house work and he said fine . Then i found out that secretly he has been resenting me cause he has had to do the dishes on occasions ( AFTER I COOKED DINNER !! ) and i said , big F*u*king whoop , what do you want, a medal . I said are you sure its not a mother you want instead of a girlfriend who will cook and clean for you .. he didnt reply. I said i do plenty of cleaning and you dont even notice its done and i never go around looking for praise .
I will finish the talk with him later on about taking turns cooking but man it doesnt half make me angry that ive let him get away with it for this long !!!

Overheal

He shut up because you gave him a Logic Bomb

Reading your last couple replies its not at the stage where mine or Red's advice is ready to work; it'll be a while apparently before he is pro-active about chores.

Get the balance first. Good on ya.

now im gonna leave all these wimmins scarin me

Jack B. Badd

unreg2008 wrote: »

Then i found out that secretly he has been resenting me cause he has had to do the dishes on occasions ( AFTER I COOKED DINNER !! )

O.o Not that I'm advocating violence but this boy, and I stress the word boy, needs a good clip round the ear. He actually sounds like a complete child. OP, I'm afraid I can't come up with anything constructive to say after that post - although if I were in your place, I'd be wondering why exactly I'm lumbering myself with a grown child...

LegacyUser

Hi OP,

I am in a very similar situation to you, though I think you definitely have it a bit worse. Basically I do the majority of the housework in our house, but he does do some things like laundry (and to be fair is very proactive with it, though always does his own stuff like shirts first and separately). Neither of us like grocery shopping but endure it together sometimes. He would never really do it on his own. In relation to cooking when we moved in together first, it was fairly equal, roughly 65-35, with me doing the majority but I didn't really mind that as I enjoy cooking and am a better cook (there's only so many times you can have the same two dishes!!). But this has changed from time to time and a while back he flatbang refused to cook anymore, for no particular reason. Pure stubborness. He has started again recently but still threatens that he won't and if ever it happens that he might be expected to cook two days in a row, he bangs on about it for an age (not really seeing that I have done this on numerous numerous times)

He also rarely cleans, like he could be sitting in a pile of his own nailclippings (it has happened) and cover the sink with stubble after shaving and it could literally fester away and he would not see it.. Then on the rare occasions he does clean, if I so much as enter my head into the room he is cleaning I am ordered out and he gets all flustered and huffy.. He has never cleaned the toilet, well actually he has once when we made a deal that I would tidy the rest of the place if he tidied the bathroom..

Anyhow this has been a source of numerous arguments for us and I have been called a nag on more occasions than I would like.. I find it difficult to keep emotions to myself so if I feel he should be pulling his weight more, I have to say it and it rarely goes down well.

Anyhow I'm no Monica myself and would have always been the relative scruff when living with my girlfriends, but while I can tolerate a bit of mess, i can't stand dirt... I'm not a crazy cleaner and understand that dishes can be left for a night or two without the world falling asunder but I genuinely do think that a lot of our fights about cleaning revolve around the fact that he does not see the mess or dirt the way I do.. For example, like I said I don't mind a bit of mess and I work in books so often have a lot of books and magazines around the place, which he cannot stand, and he often gets into a fit of throwing out magazines and papers, when I like to keep the sunday papers and read throughout the week... and this is the same guy who will not see the coffee mug stains or the aforementioned toenail clippings.. What is that about???

I'm probably not much help to you really as this has just become a personal rant, but one of the things I do say to myself to try to relieve the annoyance is that I really don't think he sees the dirt or mess the way I do and so in that way, it is a bit difficult to expect him to do something about it when he doesn't see it.. I know one poster said that he'd always do the housework and has enough respect for his wife to do 50pc of the chores, but I don't think that level of openess has sunk into the mindset of all Irish males.. Anyhow maybe this is applicable to your situation, maybe your guy just really doesn't see the mess or it doesn't bother him so doesn't see why he has to do anything about it?

I'm not saying this attitude is right by the way but it certainly could be a reason..

Victor

some people are cleaners others are tidiers.

Overheal

Victor wrote: »

some people are cleaners others are tidiers.

clarify?

MissHoneyBun

Victor wrote: »

some people are cleaners others are tidiers.

What???
I think that people who are tidy are generally more likely to clean as well!

Victor

No. Minding my nieces for the day, my sister said they had to tidy the living room. So I started picking up stuff, asking who owned it and giving it to them to put away. Room tidy, I wandered off while they voluntarily cleaned it.

Overheal

.......and so I must

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cleanliness
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neatness_and_tidyness

oohhhhh.....

you'll have to excuse me: I'm a college student.

nanunanu wrote:

I'm probably not much help to you really as this has just become a personal rant, but one of the things I do say to myself to try to relieve the annoyance is that I really don't think he sees the dirt or mess the way I do and so in that way, it is a bit difficult to expect him to do something about it when he doesn't see it.. I know one poster said that he'd always do the housework and has enough respect for his wife to do 50pc of the chores, but I don't think that level of openess has sunk into the mindset of all Irish males.. Anyhow maybe this is applicable to your situation, maybe your guy just really doesn't see the mess or it doesn't bother him so doesn't see why he has to do anything about it?

I'm not saying this attitude is right by the way but it certainly could be a reason..

I dunno. Mood has a bit to do with it as well. My room has been chaos for weeks - I can't tell at this point whether its because I'm in a procrastinative rut or if the room itself is the cause of a procrastinative rut.. just to add a point of view.

But yes I sometimes miss the good old days when there was someone to bark orders at me to do chores. But then again I wasn't raised by one of these Irish Mothers and my dad was no saint Seems your boy is just used to being looked after. Definitely something to sort out.

LegacyUser

Well oh my god, what a different a day makes !
Came home yesterday to a lovely home cooked meal and all the laundry done ... i was so happy i nearly died ! He really made an effort and apologised for being childish Hurray !!

moody cow!

Well done!! I have exactly same prob, right down to the unbelievable, gobsamcking illogical two year old childishness. I'm trying to do the same thing at the moment and have kept an eye on this thread for pointers!!

Well done again, i cant believe your result!:)How did you make him see past his own nose!! I need a crash course:D

Overheal

unreg2008 wrote: »

Well oh my god, what a different a day makes !
Came home yesterday to a lovely home cooked meal and all the laundry done ... i was so happy i nearly died ! He really made an effort and apologised for being childish Hurray !!

Classy.
Positive Reinforcement? Reinforcement?

Once anyone does anything in life they should be doing (whether its your husband or especially your kids - or your husband when hes acting the kid) you gotta drill that psychosis into them that 'hey this is a good thing to do'

Glad its going well!

Gillie

Puffin wrote: »

Cleaning is a tricky one, but grocery shopping and dinner aren’t- just don’t do them.

Why is Cleaning a tricky one?

I live alone now and while I have a fairly hectic schedule I would always make sure to have my place as tidy as possible.
...and clean!!