Does anyone else think people are becoming less welcoming and less friendly??

af_thefragile

Lately after the dawn of the age of ipods and free texts everyone seems to be more involved in their earphones and mobile phones than anything else around them. You sit on the bus/dart/luas and the person besides you doesn't even acknowledge your presence cuz he's too busy listening to white noise blaring out of the earphones stuck in his ears or has much more important messages to send to his friend that last for hours.

Is it cause people have become too busy and stressed out with their lives that they don't wanna connect with anyone else outside their comfort zone. While they have constricted their comfort zone to the 5 inches of space around them. All the ordinary people walking down the street that hide themselves behind their illusive facade of sternness while they hurdle their way though Grafton Street.
The constant look on their faces that says "i don't want to know about you so don't try to speak to me".

And between all of this you wonder where the courtesy and warm friendliness of all the ordinary people on the street got lost. The crowd keeps getting larger and the individuals more isolated.

So anyone else share the views and like to add/discuss bout this?

Rob_l

This happens to people in big cities!

Sir Digby Chicken Caesar

aye, we're not set up for city living and having hundreds of thousands of people all around you all the time just isn't something the brain is really able to process.

WindSock

No, you are just getting older.

Ross_Mahon

I work in retail, and when a customer approaches the till, i make a friendly comment like "how you doing?" or "heya",But not everyone responds? Its kind of annoying, and you feel your being ignored. People that use their phones while being served is really bad manners! I hate that...:mad:

Jigsaw

Rob_l wrote: »

This happens to people in big cities!

QFT

I can remember my first time in London getting onto the tube at Green Park at rush hour. I was gobsmacked.

Yet drive through rural Ireland you'll find some auld boy leaning up against a gate wearing a tatty blazer and wellie boots and he'll wave at every car that passes.

ScumLord

How much effort do you put into talking to strangers OP?

You get back what you put out.

Sir Digby Chicken Caesar

Jigsaw wrote: »

QFT

I can remember my first time in London getting onto the tube at Green Park at rush hour. I was gobsmacked.

Yet drive through rural Ireland you'll find some auld boy leaning up against a gate wearing a tatty blazer and wellie boots and he'll wave at every car that passes.

ahahaha

I that guy

de5p0i1er

Rob_l wrote: »

This happens to people in big cities!

I live in Castlebar and were just as bad, its not just the citys its the whole country.

Ebonyellie

i had a stranger beside me on the bus this morning tell me about her sons STD, and last thursday the man sitting beside me told me about a man he threatened for money in a pub the prevous saturday night...............this, i can see now, is why people ignore each other on the bus/train, although i dont use earphones i read instead.

af_thefragile

ScumLord wrote: »

How much effort do you put into talking to strangers OP?

You get back what you put out.

Thats quite true. Now even i find myself a lot of time hooked into my ipod and texting my friend on my phone.
But its like the whole unwelcoming atmosphere. When almost everyone's got the look on their face which says "stay away!", you don't quite feel like putting much effort anyway.

And on the contrary i found the people in Galway much more friendly than in Dublin. Like you do feel a lot more comfortable speaking to some stranger in Galway cuz you know the chances are you're gonna get back a decent response rather than the single word indifferent responses you get in Dublin.

Beerlao

i don't see the point in making pointless fake chit-chat with strangers i'm never going to see again when i'm walking home through Grafton Street from work. i'll speak to strangers on a plane but not on a bus cos i'm only gonna be on it for a short time.

i listen to my ipod constantly walking or travelling anywhere though, not because i don't want to talk to people, but because i'm addicted to music and listen to it constantly. however i'm still warm to anyone who speaks to me in the street for directions or whatever, less so for people trying to scab a cigarette off me, or bully me into signing up to some charity.

Cool_CM

de5p0i1er wrote: »

I live in Castlebar and were just as bad, its not just the citys its the whole country.

It's not just here, it's in other countries too, for example public transport in germany at rush hour is almost always silent which is hilarious because even if the train is jammed you get the feeling everybody is listening to your conversation. Also in america as this stunning in depth documentary clip shows
http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=O9P6sG35f2U

Rob_l

de5p0i1er wrote: »

I live in Castlebar and were just as bad, its not just the citys its the whole country.

ok maybe yer just ignorant in castlebar:p

I do find it a symptom of large cities though, firstly unlike a small town or rural village if you tried to say hello to people as they passed you would get no were.

Imagine trying to walk down grafton street saying hello to random strangers part from the crazy looks people would respond with it would take many hours to get to the end of that street.

Perhaps because people in smaller towns, rural areas have less contact with other humans they tend to be more responsive when they do.
Where as people from large cities are constantly fighting a war with people for space be it on the roads in our cars or squashing on to packed buses or even walking down a busy street, so we are less likely to be happy all we see other people as is "in our way"

Ross_Mahon

Beerlao wrote: »

i don't see the point in making pointless fake chit-chat with strangers i'm never going to see again when i'm walking home through Grafton Street from work. i'll speak to strangers on a plane but not on a bus cos i'm only gonna be on it for a short time.

i listen to my ipod constantly walking or travelling anywhere though, not because i don't want to talk to people, but because i'm addicted to music and listen to it constantly. however i'm still warm to anyone who speaks to me in the street for directions or whatever, less so for people trying to scab a cigarette off me, or bully me into signing up to some charity.

What if its a nice looking girl?

ScumLord

The population of my town must have tripled in the last 10 years and people have gotten less and less friendly.

I saw a thing that looked at community sizes based on the brain size of all the greater apes. Apparently the ideal size for a human community is 150 people.

Overheal

Sure you dont have to be from a city to notice this: remember in school when everyone packed down the hallways? I'd get Hall Rage

Its just from having far too many people in your space. People get quiet because people get defensive. It keeps them sane. Living in a city I can't imagine it would be easy to be receptive to the 500+ people you will come in proximity of on any given day.

Beerlao

Rob_l wrote: »

ok maybe yer just ignorant in castlebar:p

Perhaps because people in smaller towns, rural areas have less contact with other humans they tend to be more responsive when they do.
Where as people from large cities are constantly fighting a war with people for space be it on the roads in our cars or squashing on to packed buses or even walking down a busy street, so we are less likely to be happy all we see other people as is "in our way"

exactly... perfect example being the likes of couples who run roadhouses (petrol stations) in the Australian outback. when you arrive at one you're likely to go in and have a good chat with them because, there's no one else around for maybe 100km or more, and they want to chat with you as they've maybe only seen a few truckers all day.

i'm not as likely to go into McD's in Grafton Street and kick up a similar conversation with them at the till... it's not rude, it just makes sense

Insect Overlord

Ebonyellie wrote: »

i had a stranger beside me on the bus this morning tell me about her sons STD, and last thursday the man sitting beside me told me about a man he threatened for money in a pub the prevous saturday night...............this, i can see now, is why people ignore each other on the bus/train, although i dont use earphones i read instead.

Perfect example!

OP, are you suggesting we should talk to every stranger who happens to sit beside us on public transport? Or smile at every randomer who passes us on the street?

The first problem is that you'd be exhausted from it!
More seriously, from my own experience, initiating contact with those who don't expect it is far more likely to lead to awkwardness than friendliness. Would you chat up a group of lads in hoods at the rear of a bus just to be nice, for example? Saying "Hi" to someone on the street is fine if they make eye-contact, but a full-blown conversation is a bit much to be expected.

Also, the idea of someone needing personal space is nothing new, very few people feel comfortable squashed against someone else (except perhaps in bed... )FFS, even Socrates was given the death penalty for expecting too much from his fellow Athenians!

Fremen

Does anyone else see the ironing in complaining about how unfriendly strangers are.... to a load of strangers!

Ebonyellie

Yet, when we are abroad eg NY for example, we love meeting people from home, we ask them what part of ireland their from, they mention a town and you say " oh do you know such 'n' such, why is that?

Rob_l

Ebonyellie wrote: »

Yet, when we are abroad eg NY for example, we love meeting people from home, we ask them what part of ireland their from, they mention a town and you say " oh do you know such 'n' such, why is that?

Simple answer: humans are complex beings.
We like personal space but also like to feel part of something a society, cultural grouping bla bla

Sherifu

Why would you want to talk to strangers OP? Unclean, get away!

briantwin

I dont know what you expect of people in this day and age. Sadly Ireland is sliding down the same slope as most other developed countries.

Its not necessarily about not having time or being self absorbed or anything of the sort. I mean if an auld lad started shi*ing on to me on the train i would listen respond and hope he would leave it at that. I wouldn't ignore him and i certainly wouldn't sit there hoping for his life story. It really depends on the person, if little johnny junk alot starts talkin to me on the bus i would generally look up, one word response and back in with the headphones.

Its all about how comfortable you are talking to the person. Its that whole catch 22 situation, why is this person talking to me?? They must be nuts, well they cant be nuts they dont sound like they're nuts. But why would they talk to a complete stranger unless they are in fact nuts......and so on.

Ross_Mahon

I find talking to people now is very predictable, especially texting

"Hey whats up?" - "nothing much"
"Any News?" - "none, you?" (They usually have news, but don't want to share it)
"how are you? - "not bad, and you?"

I sometimes guess work what people are going to respond on msn, its gas!

Wazdakka

I absolutely love the whole city thing.

If I have my headphones in or I'm just staring out of the window on the dart instead of striking up a conversation with the person next to me, its because thats my quiet time.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not an antisocial git who wont talk to people or shuns shopkeepers,
far from it in fact,
When I talk to somebody or they talk to me I'm always smiley, friendly and chatty.

But when I'm going somewhere, I obviously have something to do, and in the madness that is Dublin sticking the "world surpressers" into your ears and just ignoring the person who is sitting next to you is pure bliss.

I love the fact that a big city is anonymous, that I can at any time, walk for ten minutes and see 10,000 people that I will probably never meet or know there names.
The fact that if I really wanted to I could cartwheel through temple bar at three in the afternoon and it would do nothing more than raise a few eyebrows, get a bit of a laugh, and be forgotten in an hour.

Living in an environment where everybody in the community knows who you are, where you live, what you do, your grannies maiden name, etc...


That would actually be my personal Hell.

Beerlao

Ross_Mahon wrote: »

What if its a nice looking girl?

then i'd probably pass out from shock!


as for someone saying the ideal size of human community is around 150 people... i'm from a very small rural area, where everyone knows everyone and everyone's business... and it can be exhausting. i now live in dublin and i have to say i prefer the anonymity the crowded streets offer me, bearing in mind that i know i can visit my mates easily enough. i love the fact that i don't have to bump into nosy aul wimmins in the street, who want to extract gossip outta me, just so they can have a good aul bitching session!

ScumLord

Beerlao wrote: »

then i'd probably pass out from shock!


as for someone saying the ideal size of human community is around 150 people... i'm from a very small rural area, where everyone knows everyone and everyone's business... and it can be exhausting.

Ah will you stop, tis great fun. Just fill the old biddies full of lies so they turn into grans that cried wolf.

kittensoft1984

Ross_Mahon wrote: »

I work in retail, and when a customer approaches the till, i make a friendly comment like "how you doing?" or "heya",But not everyone responds? Its kind of annoying, and you feel your being ignored. People that use their phones while being served is really bad manners! I hate that...:mad:

theres actually a notice up in the Easons in Hueston Station stating that anyone on their mobile phone while at the till will not be served!

kerash

kittensoft1984 wrote: »

theres actually a notice up in the Easons in Hueston Station stating that anyone on their mobile phone while at the till will not be served!

Why

Rob_l

kittensoft1984 wrote: »

theres actually a notice up in the Easons in Hueston Station stating that anyone on their mobile phone while at the till will not be served!

There should be another sign behind the counters of most shops that tell the staff to not have private conversations while customers stand in line waiting for them to stop being so ignorant and serve them :eek:

:D

Hrududu

The last thing I want when waiting at a bus stop or sitting on a bus is to get the chatty person beside me. I don't know you, I will never see you again, why won't you stop talking? The earphones are a good barrier in city life. I for one cannot fathom why you would want to say hello to a random stranger who is passing you on the street.

ScumLord

kittensoft1984 wrote: »

theres actually a notice up in the Easons in Hueston Station stating that anyone on their mobile phone while at the till will not be served!

Does it have a number for the complaints department at the bottom?

kerash

ScumLord wrote: »

Does it have a number for the complaints department at the bottom?

No, it just has this http://www.noobstore.com/prodimages/sign-gtfo-400.jpg

aidan_walsh

Rob_l wrote: »

There should be another sign behind the counters of most shops that tell the staff to not have private conversations while customers stand in line waiting for them to stop being so ignorant and serve them :eek:

:D

Sounds like a t-shirt, that.

ntlbell

I've been harping on about this in work for a long time and not many agree.

I think it comes down to our new "wealth" people just seem to be so far stuck up their own arses or busy trying to be something their not they forget who they are.

I go for a walk for my lunch usually as i sit all day and for the last 3 months I have said hello to every single person I met on the way.

I can count the responses on one hand and in fact the one's who generally have responded during the time have been polish women!

what's goin on lioke? it's all a bit of craic at the end of the day lioke, take off them fecking earphones and start smiling!

Ross_Mahon

kittensoft1984 wrote: »

theres actually a notice up in the Easons in Hueston Station stating that anyone on their mobile phone while at the till will not be served!

That is pretty cool!

ntlbell

Ross_Mahon wrote: »

That is pretty cool!

It's not cool, it's pretty sad that the sign has to be put there in the home of the most friendliest nation?

my arse.

Ross_Mahon

ntlbell wrote: »

It's not cool, it's pretty sad that the sign has to be put there in the home of the most friendliest nation?

my arse.

Lets have a few friendly drinks at the pub, and then fight about it.

BKtje

Night link is always great for talking to random people

Beerlao

ntlbell wrote: »

I go for a walk for my lunch usually as i sit all day and for the last 3 months I have said hello to every single person I met on the way.!

if i did that on my lunch i'd be saying hello 100s of times. why would i want to do that?

Trojan911

The country is F****d.....................

MizzLolly

I have to agree on the 'mobiles at the till' point! Soooo annoying. I speak to everyone who comes in and have often been ignored or grunted at. Trying to ask somebody if they want a bag/free sample/catalogue etc.. can be very difficult if the ignorant so and so is yapping away on their phone. It's plain rude!!! :mad:

Anyway, yes the place is less friendly. I remember in my last job a construction worker came in, barked at me and said "I suppose you don't speak English either", I found that very abrupt. There was no 'hello', no smile, nothing but pure frustration and annoyance.

Turned out to be a nice guy afterall, he had just spent ages asking different members of staff for the key to an office. Not one of them spoke good English and he just felt frustrated.

There are just bigger threats out there these days!

seamus

Beerlao wrote: »

if i did that on my lunch i'd be saying hello 100s of times. why would i want to do that?

Agreed.

It has more to do with volumes of people and pace of life than people becoming "less friendly". Take a Dublin person into a country pub and they'll happily chat away to the guy at the bar, if the guy at the bar talks to him.

If you have a job where you deal with hundreds of strangers per day, it takes a rare person to be happy and friendly to all of them. Since most of us in the city pass 1000s of people every day in the street, in work and on the bus, giving a nod, saying hello, or starting a conversation is fruitless. Likewise, when people have somewhere to be - to cross the city in 30 minutes, for example, the last thing we want to do is chat about bull**** to some randomer at the busstop.

When people move out of cities into rural settings, they don't isolate themselves from the community (in general). Likewise when rural people move to the city, they tend to take on city characteristics.

blackrose1

Hi i live in auckland NZ and its shocking its like its hard work just to say hello our sorry if they bang in to you if you smile at them they look at you as if you want something I'm a courier so i meet heaps of people in a day im sure its the times where people just dont feel safe:p

thefinalstage

The heck are you talking about OP? I like talking to random people because everyone has a story to tell . I have lived in Dublin my whole life.

stovelid

Depends on your perspective..

I don't need to have chats with randomers first thing in the morning. I have plenty of people I can talk to already.

Most of the random chat you get on, say public transport, is from nutcases or drunks, hence the Ipod or book.

dregin

When I was a kid I'd say hello to every ****er I passed. Haven't seen it happen in years. I was a ****in amazing child. TBH.

constitutionus

yup, thats what 15yrs of comercialism will do to a county. all that matters now is how big your SUV is

its sad but you can see a BIG difference between the older generation and their grandkids. trying to keep up in the rat race that is modern ireland has produced a generation of self obsessed pricks.

but hey on the plus side those of us how actually garnered people skills before all this are laughing all the way to the bank with the ladies

Tricity Bendix

I love you all. Have a hug.

AngryBadger

I don't think it's necessarily UNFRIENDLY if people aren't starting a hundred conversations with all the strangers they meet everyday.

I mean it just wouldn't make any sense. And if you're on the bus/dart/whatever, fair enough if you are talking to the stranger next to you, but if you're not, well what do you expect? it's not exactly a social setting. You're in transit maybe 20 mintes, half an hour, in my cases an hour, and I just want to sleep in the mornings, and read my magazine/newspaper in the evenings.

Obviously people seemed friendlier back in the olden days since most of us lived in smaller towns/villages, and there were just fewer peopel in general.

Now, what I do think is saddeningly unfriendly is the way we act in what ARE supposed to be social settings.

Why don't people talk to people other than whoever they happen to come in with if they're out drinking? How come most people will go out with a certian group of people, and leave with exactly the same group of people?

We shouldn't be worried about what the fact that a thousand stranegrs AREN'T having highly involved conversations with us on the bus home everyday, we SHOULD be concerned that when we go out to socialise, there's actually very little socialising involved.

Now, why is that? Why bother going to a pub/club/whatever if you're not going to socialise with new people?

answers on a postcard...