Blacktie wedding: tux in church or no?

fullerand

Hi,

Am due to go to a blacktie wedding on Saturday. I can't decide if I should wear the tux to the church part of the day, and there's no hint on the invitation! Plus I don't really know the couple well enough to ask.

What you reckon? Don't want to be the only pillock wearing a tux at the church!!

BigglesMcGee

Wear it in the church. Its bad enough they make you wear it, but they cant expect you to wear 2 different outfits to their wedding now can they.

Why poeple make others wear Tuxes for their wedding is beyond me. Whenever i have to get a tux to go to a wedding i deduct the cost of hiring it from their present.
I think its ignorant to require a guest to dress to your code rather than let them wear their own clothes. Its abuse of your guests.

Aquitaine

Nope, the only penguins allowed at mass are nuns!

BigglesMcGee wrote: »

Whenever i have to get a tux to go to a wedding i deduct the cost of hiring it from their present.

I love it! your dead right though

yes i agree wear the tux to the church as well.

Das Kitty

The mother wanted ours to be black-tie but I refused. She told me that a lot of men like the hassle taken out of their choice of attire. Maybe so but I don't think too many of them are overly keen on wearing a suit that some debs student puked on a few weeks prior.

It's also a royal pain for women as they have to wear gowns and not cocktail dresses.

In answer to your actual question OP, yeah you're supposed to wear it to the church. People look pretty dorky in full on evening wear in daylight.

seamus

Das Kitty wrote: »

She told me that a lot of men like the hassle taken out of their choice of attire.

Complete tosh. No man considers choosing attire to be hassle. If it's a wedding, we wear our "works for all suit-y occasions", suit. Simple as. We don't spend six weeks wondering what we're going to wear. The only reason we'd shop for a wedding is to buy a new suit to last us another five years and various occasions.

Puffin

I've been to a few black tie weddings- the guys wore a tux from go to whoa (is only because they weren't going to change half way through the day); the girls actually wore pretty much the same stuff they wear to other weddings. perhaps they went a little further out with jewellery and make-up but i failed to see one 'gown'. now i think about it, i don't think even the mother's of the brides and grooms were in full length dresses

Das Kitty

So is it just to keep your eccentric uncle from wearing his tartan suit and the young lads from wearing runners then?

BigglesMcGee

Its because some bridezilla wants everyone looking the same in all their photos.

I hate to break it to them though, but the first chance the men get, the bows are gone, the jackets are thrown around and the waistcoats are either left open and only half on or thrown al over the place.

And the topic of conversation at every table after a few pints is what kind of Gob****e bride made them all wear such rubbish and have to pay for it too.

They always end up a disaster.

My 2 pet hates at weddings are

1 - Black Tie
My feelings on this are above.

2 - Having the wedding on a weekday
yes, brides. No matter how much you ask your guests do they mind after you've booked your wedding for a Thursday and they say "No, we dont mind." , They all just want you to die a horrible death.
You have just caused them to have to take at least 2 days of work just for your wedding. They probably had in mind a much better use for those 2 days holidays you have just wasted on them, because you were too tight to pay for a place on a Saturday. And dont say there are no places to be had on a Saturday. There are - Look.


You wouldnt think i was pissed off about having to go to my cousins Black Tie wedding Thursday week, would you

I have an idea for a new poll on weddings now

seamus

BigglesMcGee wrote: »

I hate to break it to them though, but the first chance the men get, the bows are gone, the jackets are thrown around and the waistcoats are either left open and only half on or thrown al over the place.

Indeed. The other thing is that people are less likely to look after something they've rented. If the guys are wearing their own suit and tie, they're more likely to look after it (even after 15 pints).
At my cousin's wedding, they rented morning suits for the groom and groomsmen. The next day, the mother of the bride was to bring the suits back and what she got was five (no doubt expensive) suits rolled up into balls and with footprints all over the jackets.

2 - Having the wedding on a weekday
[/B]yes, brides. No matter how much you ask your guests do they mind after you've booked your wedding for a Thursday and they say "No, we dont mind." , They all just want you to die a horrible death.
You have just caused them to have to take at least 2 days of work just for your wedding. They probably had in mind a much better use for those 2 days holidays you have just wasted on them, because you were too tight to pay for a place on a Saturday. And dont say there are no places to be had on a Saturday. There are - Look.

I'm not sure, I think people's feelings widely differ on this. Plenty of people see it as a good excuse for taking time off work, and if you have the wedding on a Monday or a Thursday, it's a long weekend. Certainly I tend to have way too many holidays left over, so any excuse to use them suits me.

Perhaps people who have kids see it as being more troublesome because they have to plan their holiday time better.
You also have to look at it in terms of money saved - most hotels give massive discounts to the couple and the guests for staying midweek.

ChilliNuts

So, coming back OT, if you must attend a black-tie wedding, the general consensus is to wear the tux for the whole day.... right?

kizzyr

Das Kitty wrote: »

The mother wanted ours to be black-tie but I refused. She told me that a lot of men like the hassle taken out of their choice of attire. Maybe so but I don't think too many of them are overly keen on wearing a suit that some debs student puked on a few weeks prior.

It's also a royal pain for women as they have to wear gowns and not cocktail dresses.

In answer to your actual question OP, yeah you're supposed to wear it to the church. People look pretty dorky in full on evening wear in daylight.

I refuse point blank to fork out for an evening gown and wear a cocktail dress.

Das Kitty

Beware the wrath of Bridezilla!



LOL, my cousin put on her invites: "Dress Code: Men - Black Tie, Ladies - Ballgowns"
Apparently she was walking down the aisle looking around to make sure they abided by it.

Thank jebus I wasn't invited as I was away. I felt like putting on her invite to mine "Dress Code: What you're standing up in"

kizzyr

Das Kitty wrote: »

Beware the wrath of Bridezilla!



LOL, my cousin put on her invites: "Dress Code: Men - Black Tie, Ladies - Ballgowns"
Apparently she was walking down the aisle looking around to make sure they abided by it.

Thank jebus I wasn't invited as I was away. I felt like putting on her invite to mine "Dress Code: What you're standing up in"

LOL. Some people and their weddings......arrgh it just puts me right off the whole thing. There is a grinch for Christmas can I be the one for weddings?:D

A girl I was in school with invited me to her wedding about 2 years ago and I also (lucky girl that I am:rolleyes:) got invited to the hen weekend. I'm not a massive fan of the whole "hen" business anyway so decided only to go for one night of the weekend. Her chief bridesmaid sent me the dress code for the hen, the bride would be wearing baby blue and all of the guests were expected to wear pink as these we her favourite colours. I own nothing pink and so wore a fabulous black dress (partly because it made me look amazing partly because I didn't own anything pink and was not going to buy something new in a colour I don't like). That went down like a lead balloon.
When the invites to the wedding came they stated that all the men had to wear black tie and the women pink evening dresses..........

daiixi

Nope, the only penguins allowed at mass are nuns!

kizzyr wrote: »

A girl I was in school with invited me to her wedding about 2 years ago and I also (lucky girl that I am:rolleyes:) got invited to the hen weekend. I'm not a massive fan of the whole "hen" business anyway so decided only to go for one night of the weekend. Her chief bridesmaid sent me the dress code for the hen, the bride would be wearing baby blue and all of the guests were expected to wear pink as these we her favourite colours. I own nothing pink and so wore a fabulous black dress (partly because it made me look amazing partly because I didn't own anything pink and was not going to buy something new in a colour I don't like). That went down like a lead balloon.
When the invites to the wedding came they stated that all the men had to wear black tie and the women pink evening dresses..........

And did you?


Yes, wear the tux for the whole day and for women black tie is both gowns and cocktail dresses or dressy pants suits if they so desire.

kizzyr

daiixi wrote: »

And did you?


Yes, where the tux for the whole day and for women black tie is both gowns and cocktail dresses or dressy pants suits if they so desire.

No. I hate pink with a passion anyway so was hardly going to go out and buy a dress I didn't like just to please this woman's mad need to have every single thing about her wedding under her control..............anyway pink is why you have bridesmaids.

daiixi

Nope, the only penguins allowed at mass are nuns!

kizzyr wrote: »

No. I hate pink with a passion anyway so was hardly going to go out and buy a dress I didn't like just to please this woman's mad need to have every single thing about her wedding under her control..............anyway pink is why you have bridesmaids.

Was just wondering I wouldn't have either!

hunnymonster

OP, wear the tux for the whole day. Some tux jackets are quite light so depending on the time of year, you might need an overcoat for the church. Pity is poor girls in our strappy sandals in a freezing church!


Most of the men I know already own a tux so the "hiring" isn't an issue. I would have thought that would be the norm these days. I was talking to my brother about this at the weekend. The cost of hiring a suit 3 times was just over the cost of buying it. I was defiantely at more than 3 black tie events last year.

Eoin

hunnymonster wrote: »

Most of the men I know already own a tux so the "hiring" isn't an issue. I would have thought that would be the norm these days. I was talking to my brother about this at the weekend. The cost of hiring a suit 3 times was just over the cost of buying it. I was defiantely at more than 3 black tie events last year.

Even better value: rent one from a good shop, i.e. one that will tailor it properly to you, not a generic BlackTie suit and enquire about how much it costs to buy it (after it's tailored). I did this and got the rental price deducted from the purchase price, so just two occasions and I'm even.

BigglesMcGee wrote:

yes, brides. No matter how much you ask your guests do they mind after you've booked your wedding for a Thursday and they say "No, we dont mind." , They all just want you to die a horrible death.
You have just caused them to have to take at least 2 days of work just for your wedding. They probably had in mind a much better use for those 2 days holidays you have just wasted on them, because you were too tight to pay for a place on a Saturday. And dont say there are no places to be had on a Saturday. There are - Look.

Of course, there are some places available on a Saturday, but they could be miles away, in which case guests would have to stay over. If only Saturdays are good for you, then even the quietest of hotels will only have a limited number of slots available. In popular wedding hotels you can be waiting 18 months + for a Friday or Saturday slot. We had ours on a Thursday, and I sincerely hope that any guests who came weren't as begrudging as you make out.

naidy123

Unreal have a black tie wedding coming up on a Sunday..there was me thinking people couldn't get married on a sunday....worst of all they are dictating what we wear on the sat evening before the wedding aswell. Urgh hate weddings when people put pressure on the guests like this

kizzyr

naidy123 wrote: »

Unreal have a black tie wedding coming up on a Sunday..there was me thinking people couldn't get married on a sunday....worst of all they are dictating what we wear on the sat evening before the wedding aswell. Urgh hate weddings when people put pressure on the guests like this

Then there are the ones where you have to go to the celebration the evening before, the wedding itself, then the BBQ the following day...........:(