paranoid delusions?

LegacyUser

im honestly not sure if im paranoid, hitting a bout of psychosis (i think it's been coming on for a while, near breaking into full blown-ness?) or near the truth. i fully expect masses of criticisms, maybe a few who think the same, skeptics and hopefully some sympathies. and this isn't a troll, although maybe by definition it is, but my intentions are pure. (try and read that last bit in a non-weird elvish way)

i apologize for the really long post, my head's completely filled and sending this to as many as possible seems like a relatively good idea. and before anyone asks, yes i've an appointment booked for a psychologist for friday, week's a long time though and if this keeps up i might lose faith in him.

for the mods who'll edit this before posting it, please don't let it idle if it does (i'll reward you in another life? that or just make a crazy person happy).

/start insanity

anyway, i figure i'm all down to being against control. the world is completely and totally controlled by systems, forms of control that filter and direct. take educations systems, everyone is told to do a, b and c. in that exact order, no exceptions. our lives are controlled, we graduate, get a job, pay taxes and die. ignoring my reincarnation+noosphere ideas here.

i had to think to find some place where i'm not going insane from the amount of submission we're forced to go through for these controls, and it's in a car. similarly, i could imagine being a soldier. while a soldier may seem the most obvious form of control, once the loaded gun is placed in your hands, the control is switched to you. if you're still yourself, you can take that gun and start shooting left right and centre, thus destroying the control in place that normal people don't do that. if you don't believe me, try it and see. failing that, you can do what a soldier is supposed to do, and not start blasting around you.
the same theory applies to the car situation, when i'm driving i've got (at least the illusion of) control. i can drive as usual, and get to my destination. or i can jump the kerb and use the tonne of metal to cause some damage. stop doing what you're supposed to, and the control fails.

while i do realise breaking the controls seems to generally result (at least for the most obvious scenarios) in deaths of people, it might nearly be acceptable. although i'm not sure where the de-sensitization comes into this.
we're all so utterly used to having something guide us that anything deviating from that set path is seen as a threat. and a threat it might well be, either to our survival or maybe it's to the illusion of control of our survival.

all those bleak as ****, communist-y and dysotoptian futures seen in films and whatnot, is it really that far off? when you look at it with some apathy, you can see it's the most rational form of control. streamline everything down, and make it as efficient as possible. the main thing standing in the way is our so called freedoms. we can still say "no!", although i'd be surprised if it had much effect.
at most with current resistance all we can do is prevent the "machine", for lack of a better word, from becoming it's objective of a streamlined variant.

as soon as it sees an opportunity to shoot down some freedoms, it takes it. take a look at the US, even britain. they're becoming more and more totalitarian, taking away certain systems or choices that reduce the efficiency of their systems. the ideal objective would be a totally streamlined system of controls, where there's no choices, no imagination and no creativity. no dissent or disagreement with how our lives are controlled. get everyone to do what they're told to without question or thought, and you've got it down.
hitler had the same idea, but he was a dictator right? maybe it's because he kicked his ideals off too late, all the controls had already been set in place and he drew attention to them by the outside world.

even the EU, wonderful almost-superpower that it is, will become basically one big state if the Lisbon treaty passes. which it will, no chance it won't. replace "treaty" with constitution and it's a bit more apparent. the same applies to the americas, more than one have seen the upcoming merging of south north and central, along with canada to form the other(?) superpower. russia and asia as well perhaps.

i still can't figure out who'd be in control of all this though. doubtful it's one person, and if it's a collection of people, why? there's a finite amount of things you can do with your wealth. once this planet's been conquered and streamlined to be a factory, is it on to the next planet?

still a lot to figure out, and i know this might all sound like the ramblings of a paranoid psycho (that's me!) but try and see it from a socially detached perspective. look in, rather than out. try not to care about what other might think, indeed i hope you care not about what seems to be in my head.
read this if you want to, or just skim it. but take some of it in, and please try and get a vague idea of what i'm babbling about. then run from there.


is this me seeing patterns in everything? or is it just human nature and society's need to run on controls and whatnot? alternatively, maybe it is a system placed on us by a higher elite of some sort, or hell even matrix-esque robots while im at it. or maybe it's a forced human nature, forced on us.

universe=head wrecker to the extreme

Gordon

I'm not quite sure what the personal issue is here, would this be better off in Humanities?

Nevyn

I think if you think it is paranoid delusions you should talk to your dr about it and get a referal if needs be onwards.

JC 2K3

Get into some non-straight edge subculture and focus on having fun, don't overthink life, it's too short.

andgoodbye

You have some interesting ideas there, I've often thought myself that the world is controlled by the powers that be, the powers that be in this case being truman show-esque masters.
Crazy, I know, but I really almost believe that my entire life is some sick twisted show!
Maybe the outside world is 5oo years ahead, as in if we set a show in medieaval times...y'get me?

Miss Fluff

Focus on your appointment next Friday and start from there OP, you can get it all of your chest properly then.

buckfast4me

You need to see a psychiatrist, seriously.

LegacyUser

This should maybe be in the philosophy forum if there is one.

Man seriously, what you call control is what regular people call common sense, we do things in certain ways to survive just like every animal does. The only difference between us and other animals is our brain is more developed allowing people like you create these thoughts in your head.

Sorry to sound unsympathetic but your wasting your own time thinking this stuff and our time reading it. I really think your far from the "truth"

I really think when i read this kinda stuff that the truly intelligent person is the person who can live life freely, suffer the pains of losing someone, but can appreciate the joys of life, birth, art, sport, anything and is free of these deep thoughts that get you nowhere.

You need to snap out of it and start enjoying life because your thoughts on "control" will NEVER get you anywhere furhter in life, unless your a sci fi novelist or something (why dont you look into doing something like that, not being cheeky you should put these thoughts to good use).

It seems to me you either smoke too much weed, have taken one too many magic mushrooms which triggers thoughts like this, you watch too many movies, play too many games or are suffering from delusions because of mental issues.

you seriously have to remind yourself were just another animal on this planet that wants to survive like any other. There is no bigger picture

Best of luck with the doctor