College?

LegacyUser

I'm failing college again. This will probably come out as a bit of a disjointed rant but I would really appreciate any kind of feedback to make some decisions about my future because I'm a bit lost altogether with where to go from here.

I'm 21, still live at home and in 2nd year engineering in ucd after failing first year, repeating it and just about scraping through the second time around. I failed over half my christmas exams just gone by and failed some of the repeats for them already. I'm looking at repeating 2nd year already if I stick with it. I think its time to finally throw in the towel. Do you not agree? I knew I had to study for my repeats but just could never find the motivation to bother, what was the point of it all? I hated the course but I think I might just hate it because I never go in and never know whats going on because I never go in. Whenever I do go in, i'm always in a terrible mood and I'm that loser of a guy who doesnt talk very much because i dont really know anyone... because i dont go in!! Its a vicious cycle. And im not a loser in general. I had a great time before leaving school and have plenty of friends outside of the course. Also i think i have a bit of a chip on my shoulder about the typical engineering type, lets face it theyre geeks. I sometimes get a bit angry sitting in the lectures, surely this isnt normal. I wonder to myself why im even there. The labs bore me. Same goes for studying, i get angry and frustrated (maybe because i dont know the material because i rarely go in?!)

Anyway I'm freaking out over my future. I seem to have no ambition or motivation to do anything. I dont know where im going with my life at all. I have been talking to someone lately about general depression but he has taken things in a completely different direction (self-confidence/esteem, issues from childhood etc.). I guess what I'm asking is that has anyone else been in a similar situation? What did you do? Do people actually manage to stick in a course they hate just to get through it? When you feel your life has no direction or purpose, what do you do to get out of it?? I've been thinking ill go to austrailia next year to work and live. if all i can think about is paying the rent, maybe ill be happier. I'll certainly be more motivated to get out of bed anyway. Is this a good idea? I've been told the world is my oyster but it certainly dosent feel that way.

Sorry if this isnt a pi etc. Any rambling thoughts from anybody would be much appreciated

Staph

It is easy to get lost in a course, even if you have great attendance. But with a bit of effort you begin to understand things more. In your exams were there subjects that you did better in- maybe your failing a certain aspect of engineering. If so, you could get help with this area.
I don't think it's really the course that is bothering you the most. I think the main reason you a upset, is that you brought this on yourself. Thats tough to realize- you now have to make a decision.
So, you can either overcome this and study and be a model student in the future or leave and follow something that hopefully you enjoy.

togster

I think you need to get off your arse and do something about it. If you never go in how do you know you don't like college? It's not depression, it's just laziness and a bad attitude. If you don't want to do the course then don't. But quit blaming other things for your own attitude. If you don't sort it now it will permeate all areas of your life.

BrandonBlock

The only advice I can offer is, if you know you aren't going to finish the course (I know a lot of people who were in your situation too) then don't waste any more time with the course. From what I've heard (this is from people who dropped out of engineering in trinity, and flew threw my course - comp science) engineering is one of the most difficult courses in any college - next to medicine and the likes.

So my advice (like it or lump it) is to cut your losses and move on - get a job and start working, or if you have the money start another course in september that you would have a better chance of finishing. I don't know you but it sounds like business or marketing would suit you better and you are right - people in those courses would generally be more sociable than engineering/science students. They attract a different breed of people.

I think even if you do that, getting a job in the mean time would be a good idea to help you focus and realise your goals. It's not the end of the world, you're only 21. People drop out of college all the time for many different reasons.

AngryBadger

To be honest you sound like an ass.

If you don't like the course, then change to a different course. Or attend the frakking elctures and pass your exams. Or just go and get a job.

Who's paying for all these repeats anyway? I'm guessing your parents and if I were them I'd be wringing your neck.

You don't go in and you call it a vicious cycle, you have a chip on your shoulder about the engineering stereotype because you think they're all nerds?!?!?

Who the hell do you think you are? The people who are attending their lectures everyday are the ones taking responsibility for themselves and their lives, they'll get their degrees, and find jobs (eveneutally).

You need to man up and stop acting like such a gob****e, like I said if you don't like the course, or if you feel you can't hack it, then change courses, or maybe a year in the real working world would do you good, give you some perspective.

BrandonBlock

Spot the engineer lol ^

Al_Fernz

AngryBadger wrote: »

To be honest you sound like an ass.

If you don't like the course, then change to a different course. Or attend the frakking elctures and pass your exams. Or just go and get a job.

Who's paying for all these repeats anyway? I'm guessing your parents and if I were them I'd be wringing your neck.

You don't go in and you call it a vicious cycle, you have a chip on your shoulder about the engineering stereotype because you think they're all nerds?!?!?

Who the hell do you think you are? The people who are attending their lectures everyday are the ones taking responsibility for themselves and their lives, they'll get their degrees, and find jobs (eveneutally).

You need to man up and stop acting like such a gob****e, like I said if you don't like the course, or if you feel you can't hack it, then change courses, or maybe a year in the real working world would do you good, give you some perspective.

+1

OP, you remind me of myself when I was in first year. All I did was b1tch about how bad the course was. Then I grew a pair and actually started going to lectures and participating. Problem solved.

Its a classic post-secondary school reaction. Your spoon-fed everthing in school and look for the same in college. You probably thought that college life would be one big alcohol fueled frat party. When the penny dropped and you found out that college is about how well you preform in your course as opposed to how much women you lay, you shirked big time.

Running away to Australia for a year won't help either. I guess you see this as an easy way out. But like it or not you can't coast through life and expect everything to be handed to you. The sooner you start taking responsibility for yourself, the better.

Of course you can have fun along the way but nothing in this world that is worth having comes easy.

AngryBadger

BrandonBlock wrote: »

Spot the engineer lol ^

Nope, over-qualified scientific type actually Probably why the disparaging "nerd" comment set me off

helimachoptor

Op I was very similar to you. Failed first year and repeated but the subjects I had to repeat were extra ones and I had no interest in them. Paid for myself to repeat the year 4k I think it was. Went into second year and only had maths to do which made things easier. I went through a phase of not being bothered. I'd go in and go on the beer or just sit on the internet. I did a couple of xmas exams (pre modularisation) and I flunked badly.

I got my ass in gear, went to the lecturers told them I had been and ass but wanted to get back on track. Got some grinds pretty much didnt go out from Janaury to June as I was studying. I got decent marks which after wasting the first half of the year was a relief. I also did a lot of summer work Studing 2-3 evenings a week. Op if you want to be an engineer YOU need to put in the effort.

JimmyCrackCorn!

Im afraid you have two options left.

A. You fix it attend courses like your life depended on it. Work your arse off and pull it out of the fire. Get help with anything you still need help with. People will be willing to help if they see you busting your arse to change. If you continue missing lectures im afraid you cant be expected to be taken seriously. Plus lectures will pretty much hand you the exam in lectures if you attend. D'ont worry if you fail an exam if your trying you can re-sit.


B. Give up feel sorry for yourself and find something else to blame it on. Without a shadow of a doubt though you will regret it for the rest of your life.


I know it sounds harsh but i found myself in a similar situation when i became sick in my degree year. One of the things im so glad i never did was give up. It felt like it nearly killed me at the time but it would feel alot worse now if i gave up.

funk-you

OP- I could have easily written that this time 4 years ago(i'm 25 now) Left college at 21. College just wasn't for me. I did a 2 year cert then first year in an IT. I took the grounding in engineering i got in college and got a job testing electronics in a factory. **** pay, **** hours.

Finally realised i was better suited to learning while doing and also put myself forward for every technical course i could find in the job. I swapped companies and moved to testing servers and did all the courses again. Swapped companies again and ended up on the London stock exchange as a senior technical engineer. I did this in 4 years by frankly busting my balls in work.

College itself wasn't for me and it not for everyone but you can get the same qualifications and specialise more if you put the effort in in work. If you go this route though the word no has got to leave your vocabulary for the first couple of years. Be the go to guy, be confident and above all learn.

If i had of stayed in college i wouldn't have this job now and i'd be earning about half of what i do now.

Saying that in my line of work experience and knowledge is everything. This route may not suit you. What type of Engineer do you want to be? Do you even want to be one?

-Funk

EDIT: btw, i still think they're all nerds too. People are very surprised when they hear what i do. You're not your job.

Wagon

Drop out or change courses. I'm your own age mate, and I was the same at the start of second year so I switched to a different course. Problem solved.

Why would you stay in college when you clearly hate the course? You're lying to yourself really if you do. Besides, college isn't for everyone. It's just an option after you leave school. People can also go and do it in the future, and while many say that it gets much harder the older you get it just means that if you really wanted to do something then you'd stick with it. Ever considered just taking a year out? You might just need a rest from state education for a while. Work for a year and save up a few quid and then see what you want to do next. Don't waste your life doing what other people think you should, especially if it's making you this miserable.

ImDave

I find that in college if you don't like a subject/module, you will find it hard because there is no motivation there to try and understand. The same applies to a course. If you really dont like your course (and it seems you really don't), then you are making it hard for yourself straight away.

Nikster

I tried college, dropped out mid-way through first year, failed when repeating the year. It was the course I always wanted to do, but when I got there it just wasn't right for me. I decided to give up hope on college altogether. Maybe it was the best thing I ever did. You don't need a college degree to get on in life. I'm 25 now, working for myself, and I have a lot more money, freedom, and happinness than a lot of my friends that have degrees.

College isn't for everyone. I'm really happy where my life is at right now, and if I decide later in life that I want to give college another go, the option is always there.

Are you going to college because YOU want to, or because you're expected to go by parents? Always choose what is right for you, not what is right by anyone else for you to do

CrazyNoob

OP If you cant find the motivation to study or attend properly - how did you expect to pass or succeed?
I think if you drop out and go into another course history is likely to repeat itself

Ask yourself why you are going to college in the first place - whats your end goal?
You sound like you lack any goal or endpoint - without direction or goals its difficult to accomplish anything

seraphimvc

engineer eh?we can see you did well in Leaving then:D

course is tough of course you need to pay your time and effort on it!it's nothing easy like in high school anymore ,stop moaning and wake up!didn't expect this situation before you came to college eh?now you got it,this is life.considering engineer is a very fine job as you will be one in the future ,man ,thats enough motivation i say.if you really dont like it?leave it then,drop out.

but i can sincerely tell you that nobody likes his/her course 100% ,there must be something tough or dislikeness involve in any course you choose.once you been through them,get the degree,wow,think of that,you really achieve something,you beat the tough time by your own hands!that's the way of being a man i guess:D this is my 2 cents,mate.good luck!

Rattlehead_ie

OP:

I know exactly how you feel. It can be extremely tough to see the light at the end of the tunnel specially when your not enjoying the course or you feel like your not getting anywhere (failing exams). To answer your question about does anyone ever make it through? The answer is yes!I know alot of ppl inc myself who have gone through the whole course, or just what they needed to do, so they could move to another course or at least have better options than dropping out.
I was doing a 3 yr course in something I though I would enjoy but it wasn't and after a v tough 1st yr (including repeats scraping by etc. In the middle of the 2nd yr I had to weigh up the choices.
1) Drop out
2) Continue on at get at least something out of it that might stand to me + DEFO not look back at the last yr and a half as a complete waste.

I chose the 2nd option, luckily after 2 yrs of the 3 yr course I had enough college expereince including a scraped by 2nd yr of exams to start looking at other course and colleges that I thought Id enjoy.
1 of the biggest things that I can say to you and reccomend is the feeling you have of being down and depressed about failing exams etc will feel twice as bad if you drop out as you do see all the effort and work u put in even the scrape ur pass was a waste.

Another suggestion is either way, maybe the Austrailla thing or at least a yr out idea is fantastic. Lets your mind and body recover from a bad yr or 2 of hard work etc.After my 2 yrs in college I took yr out and focussed on earning money and set myself the goal of being back in college doing a course I loved by 12 months time.

Mayeb if you set urself small targets for now, its pretty late in the yr and I know the UCD exams are soon enough, but just set urself mini-goals on a daily basis of having this or that chapter studied etc. Do you have friends in your course / college or a b/f g/f that you can chat to and just let it all out would also help.

As for the nerd comment, lol. We are all nerds, ppl might even class you as a nerd for writing on an internet forum looking for advise so dont be too hard on the ol engineers in college

valleyoftheunos

Clearly this course isnt for you, not if you hate everything about it. Ask yourself a question; Why did you choose Engineering in the first place? was it because you had a load of points and felt you should use them, you thought it would interest you or because of where you want to have a career.

From your OP I'd say its most likely the first or second answer. In either case its unlikely to ever change. you seem to have quite a lot going on in other areas, concerning your depression and anger issues and struggling through a difficult course such as Engineering wont make that any easier.

My advice is to defer what remains of this accademic year, including your exams in the summer. Then set about getting yourself happy and healthy in time to start back studying in September, most likely in a different course entirely.

Get a job, earn some money and enjoy yourself but at the same time think hard about weither you want to return to college and what you want to achieve out of it if you do go back. Is there is specific career you want to pursue than find out what is the best path to do it and get cracking.

Jim

You need to find something your passionate about. Its totally counter productive to do a course for 3 or 4 years that you hate, you wont get good marks if you have incentive to work and you'll be miserable for the duration.

Also remember college isn't for everyone. I don't understand societies current obsession (especially with parents) that everyone needs to go to college when they leave school. Some people aren't acedemicly minded at all, and the system in colleges just wont suit everyone. For instance some people are good at and enjoy manual labour, be it on a building site or just a labourer else where, hell even a janitor. But this is looked down upon by society because the person isn't showing any motivation and everyone automatically thinks that they do the job because they couldn't get anything better. Who gives a **** aslong as you're happy with what you do.

Also, you're 21, you're still very young. Enjoy the time you have, you can go back to college or seek a career elsewhere anytime you want. I'm 22 and just finishing a college course I disliked (hypocrite heh). I have no interest in persuing a career based on my course, or indeed any significant work after I leave. I'm going to get some **** job somewhere for awhile, pay off my debts, save up some money and then maybe go travelling for awhile. I'm in no hurry to start the grind of working endlessly to pay off a mortgage and car.

Remember, its your life. If you're getting any pressure from your parents sit down with them and talk to them. Granted they might not be understanding and might force you to remain in college. Take their advice, but ultimatly its your decision and your life, not theirs. If they are paying for your course and repeats and you're unhappy stop that now. Stop wasting your time and their money in a course you sound like you'll eventually drop out of anyway unless you are totally committed to working hard and finishing it.

Rattlehead_ie

Last 2 posts are also v sound advice.

MIN2511

Right; i can IDENTIFY with this... why don't you quit, take the year out and work and decide what you want to do next year....
Life is short, no point wasting time and money when you are not happy

Drift

I'm an engineer .... yes the course can be a bit difficult at times but if you worked hard enough to get the points to get into it you can easily pass it regardless of whether you like it or not. Especially second year because to be honest the first two years are a piece of piss - anybody who attends 60% of the lectures will pass if they even look at their notes. It's just a matter of getting off your hole and taking responsibility for yourself.

On a broader issue though you need to decide if you like the course or not which is a completely seperate issue from passing the exams. From my experience first and second year in engineering degree's are mainly the broad scientific base for the specialist area you'll study in 3rd and 4th year. What branch of engineering are you thinking of getting into OP?

And FINALLY the nerd thing . What's your definition of a nerd? Regardless of what it is I know engineers who aren't nerds. The engineers I know play in bands, score women left right and centre, win all-ireland medals in gaelic games, row in the olympics, win ultimate fighting medals :eek:, drive rally cars, etc etc etc. I also know some who build their own computers, fix their own cars, watch the discovery channel, talk about maths at dinner time, understand and discuss complex physics principles, etc. etc. Which ones are the nerds? It's a trick question because they're the same people! There's no such thing as a nerd OP because you can't pigeon hole people into a little box to define who they are. If I asked the people I know what a nerd was they'd say someone who sat at home all day on the internet!!!

Oh yeah, forgot to mention there's even some women engineers!!!! Few and far between of course

BrandonBlock

Drift wrote: »

The engineers I know play in bands, score women left right and centre, win all-ireland medals in gaelic games, row in the olympics, win ultimate fighting medals :eek:, drive rally cars, etc etc etc.

They are in the vast minority though. Call a spade a spade. Engineering/IT courses are mostly full of unsociable types. If you aren't one of them it can be very difficult (not impossible though) to make friends in college, which in turn makes college more difficult.

Deadevil129

Tbh, nobody can tell you what you want to do apart from you. You're post annoys me slightly, you've decided to judge the people in your course without actually getting the time to know them properly, and as another poster pointed out, who on earth is paying for these repeats?

I don't want to start praising myself like it's going out of fashion but I'm in a similar scenario to yourself, I'm studying physics and am barely passing. In comparison to everyone else in my course i'm pretty much the dumbass of the year. But I'm still there everyday, I'm still trying my hardest to keep up with everything, because I'd better be damn well sure I pass at the end of the year. My parents were generous enough to pay my registration fees, something I never expected as I don't come from a family with a lot of money, so I owe it to them to get myself through this. So if you wont get off your ass for yourself than at least have enough respect for whoever's putting you through college to either start studying, or be honest with them and say you want to try something else before they cough out more cash for repeating.

Wagon

Drift wrote: »

anybody who attends 60% of the lectures will pass if they even look at their notes. It's just a matter of getting off your hole and taking responsibility for yourself.

Bull. I know people doing engineering and they say the complete opposite.

And if the course is a piece of piss in the first two years and you ain't doing well and failing it and hate it then definitely quit now before you go and waste more time OP. Also, it's getting you down mentally and if that's happening to the extent it's happening to you the it's not worth it in the log run. You'll be a wreck by the time it's finished! Take a year out and think hard about what you'd like to do in your future.

Routledge

BrandonBlock wrote: »

They are in the vast minority though. Call a spade a spade. Engineering/IT courses are mostly full of unsociable types.

Quality comment. They might build good bridges, but geeks nonetheless.

I think, the OP is going thru a difficult patch and is not helped by the majority of 'snooty' posts here.

For what its worth, I think you shud ride it out and give it one last go. My advice would be to try an tap into some 'network' (ie make mates on the course) and get thru the course together.

Drift

BrandonBlock wrote: »

Call a spade a spade. Engineering/IT courses are mostly full of unsociable types.

Not in the 85 strong class I was in. Had about 3 unsocialable types I think. The rest were all really open and friendly.

Drift

Wagon wrote: »

Bull. I know people doing engineering and they say the complete opposite.

Maybe it depends on the course but the Maths, Statistics, Physics and Chemistry aspects are not a huge step up from Leaving Cert honours which he must have been doing in Maths and was probably doing in one of the others to get into the course. Also did a language in second year - again not a huge step up from the leaving especially if you're just trying to get the 40% to pass. I can't remember what other subjects we did in second year. There was a few more specialised ones alright but they were basic fundamental stuff and really required little more than rote learning and some basic maths skills.

Maths-physics alright required attention and effort but the whole year of over 200 were doing it and only 4 or 5 failed. I can't guarantee it but I bet they weren't the best attendees considering the tips given on the last day of lectures!!

We (civil class) didn't have to do thermodynamics though which I hear is a complete whore.

I can't remember much of the other subjects.


Edit: Reading back I went a bit overboard. First year and second year are not a piece of piss for everyone that's unfair because some people work very hard and still find it tough. However, I don't think the OP is one of those people. He can't claim it's too difficult for him if he doesn't put in the effort to try and pass it which by his own admission he isn't.

estar

- first of all you should never make decisions about your life
when you are in a state of panic. running away is not going to work.

- you should explore your feelings about your course. do you like it?
does it interest you and fire you up? do you think - great, im learning
about xyz today?
although many people drudge through degrees not feeling all those things
i really think its probably a mistake if you are failing all around you,
have the capabilities to suceed and cannot access them that you dont
seek some career guidance at this point and invest some money
in that. if your parents wont help you, than do so over the summer.

there are some really inciteful people out there whose job is to
help you decide what you might be interested in.

explore your options - find out if you dropped out now would
you have to pay fees for another degree ?

what options are there out there for stopping after third year
i know that in most engineering degrees you are awarded a BA
after 3 years and could go onto to another post degree qualification.

these are all questions for a professional and you to work out together.
you could also visit the career section of your college and ask to
speak to an advisor, if this is causing you real stress you could
defer.

but if you do defer and postpone the exam you must

- get a job. a full time job in an area you would actually like to work
in. and if you cant find one explore.

talk. talk to your parents. talk to your college. dont bottle up
your worries about what is facing you.

there is no situation that doesnt have some sort of solution

LegacyUser

It's time to talk to your parents like an adult, not like an overgrown adolescent. At this stage they'll have seen how unmotivated and - well - lazy you've become. You need to face up the the fact that this situation is of your own making. They'll no doubt be annoyed about the waste of their money, but they'll probably be relieved that you're finally taking some kind of responsibility for your life.

Knuckle down and do your best for the rest of the year - at least that will show them at you're in some way motivated about your life and they'll respect you for it. If you fail, you fail. But start thinking about what you want to do with the rest of your life. The Australia thing sounds like you want to continue living like a student with no responsibilities - but remember that a lot of people that you meet while travelling will have done their degree or qualification and will be returning to a career - what will you be returning to? Do you intend to work in a bar for the rest of your life? Fine if you do - but think about what you really want.

Go to your parents with a plan - whether it's dropping out to do something else - and make sure it's not something else that you want them to totally subsidise - factor in you bringing in some cash for a change. They'll respond much better if it looks like you've put some thought in rather than "This is too hard - I don't want to do it any more" - which is what your original post sounded like. Remember that while they love you, after the last couple of years dossing around, you'll need to earn their respect back.

Remember too that you that there's nothing more pathetic than some eejit reliving his schooldays for the rest of his life. They're behind you now but the best could be yet to come - plan for it so that you can look forward to it.

LegacyUser

Hi I just wanted to say thanks to everyone who gave me advice in this thread, both positive and negitive. I really appreciated it

eclipsechaser

The below is only if you wish to stay in Eng.

If you're looking to get motivated and pass your exams, I suggest the following. Find a friend in the course and study with them. Better still, get a small group together. You'll find that you can explain different parts of the course to each other. I found it a life-line for final year.

Finding a good grind can really help too. Our group got our tutor to give a few lessons on the side. He was a fantastic. Without him or the group-based work, I'm not sure how I would have done. I certainly wouldn't have liked to face it all on my own.