Contant Worrying

LegacyUser

Hi all,

Just wanted to post this here to put down how im feeling lately.

I have been seeing a girl for the past 2 months or so and in recent weeks I have recently started to worry all the time about her and whats happening with her and whether she likes me etc etc.

Im 23 and this is my first proper relationship so I guess that kind of explains a little of why im getting so worked up. I find myself reading into things way too much..... thinking way too much and just generally freaking out with the whole situation. Its so bad that I send a text and when she doesnt reply for awhile I start getting knots in my stomach.

I have told her that im new to it all and asked her to be patient with me and she has been amazing. Still though.... even when I think over the past week and the different things that have gone through my head it scares me how wildly different I can feel from one minute to the next. Content... nervous.... on the verge of tears. I just cannot control my emotions. This girl is amazing and im worried that if I cant get things under control that she will be put off and finish things with me... and I guess I wouldnt blame her if she did.

Its really worrying for me because I know that I should be happy to be with such a great girl but the whole time im just nervous.... the only time I really relax is when im physically with her. When shes not around im stressing.

Work hasnt been the best of late and I have been having a hard time motivating myself to do anything after work. She has been a great help but I find myself getting too reliant on time with her. Everytime we say goodbye to eachother I just start thinking about when we'll see eachother next etc etc. I know its not healthy to be like this and really want to give her space and be happy and comfortable in my own company again.

I really dont know how to sort out my head and get things straight. I have tried to tell myself to just relax and take it easy that all will be fine and not to worry about it but to no avail. Its really doing my head in at this stage. Any advice?

Overheal

This post warmed me a bit I've been there. What you've got there is an A-typical Puppy Love. Give it enough time and it'll reside. At the moment you are physically and mentally adapting to the new experience. Thats why youre finding it so hard to keep some of these emotions in check: you've never had them before.

She Devil

You are in love
I'm with my boyfriend two years and i still go gaga if he doesnt text me back ... not cos i am worried about him its cos im wondering why he is being so lazy
You arent weird .... you are just new to it ... it will all relax in time ... just remember she likes you for you .. so dont do the whole paranoia thing on her or she will call the guards

Loopy

You are going to drive her away with your behaviour. I do feel for you but there is nothing worse that someone who wont let you be (I had a bf like that in the past and initially I was crazy about him, but he constantly called / text me, wondering where I was and needing re-assurance that 'we' were ok and it drove me nuts. At first it was lovely and endearing, but after a couple of months I was like, Jesus chill out dude.

I advise to kick back and relax and enjoy what you have with her..Or u will loose her:(

LegacyUser

Hi looptheloop,

I know exactly what you mean and I realise that I may end up pushing her away. That really does worry me. I guess ide just like to know what I can do to help me deal with this and help myself to relax..... if anything at all

I thought relationships were meant to be about fun and happiness.... this is really turning out to be more about me worrying constantly... and I really dont like that but at the same time I know its me and that I would kick myself if I gave her up over it.

Total catch 22

Loopy

You are still young and putting far to much pressure on yourself. She sounds like a great girl so it would be nice to try hold onto her, but at what cost, your sanity?? Shes only a girl after all, we are not all 'that' you know:p

Would you want to be with someone like you? I know its easy me saying this, but your gonna have to kick back and relax and go with the flow. If she didn't want to be with you she wouldn't be and you have to keep remembering that. She is being very patient but after a while if you dont chill a bit she will walk.

Can u maybe talk to your folks / friends about it? Sometimes just talking to people you know can help a situation seem a lot less problematic than it actually is..

LegacyUser

I have been that boyfriend very recently, I am 30 and yes she used to complain about it after a while. Amongst other things wrong with the relationship, it eventually broke us up. Be careful my friend.

Shelli

been there wrote: »

I have been that boyfriend very recently, I am 30 and yes she used to complain about it after a while. Amongst other things wrong with the relationship, it eventually broke us up. Be careful my friend.

I don't think this is quite the case in the OPs circumstance. Being quite brutal about it, women in their 30's would probably expect a bit more maturity from a man of your age, especially if she had quite a bit of relationship experience. I'm not saying this is right, but unfortunately this is the case.

The OP is only 23, and I'm guessing his gf is around the same age, she'll be more likely to be a lot more sympathetic to the puppy love syndrome that drives people to insecurity sometimes, in fact she may even find it flattering that he's so obviously mad about her!

OP, the fact that you've explained to her that you’re new to all this and she seems so cool about is a great sign. Just continue to be open with her and try to relax.

Good luck!