guilty or should i be

LegacyUser

just want peoplles views on this, i love my girlfriend been with her three years. i love her love spending time with her n all that. but at times when im fantasising and em you know (sorry dont mean to be crude) i think of her sisters (dont worry all legal) and her friends, i cant understand why i do it and like i m confused if i love my gf why am i attracted to other people as well. i mean i would never cheat and the thought wud never cross my mind nor wud i want to to. why do i have these thoughts if i love my gf.. i mean are other people in the same boat...

sorry if this makes no sense its just been at me for a bit now

LegacyUser

Hi Op, Im with my significant other for a long time and I love him and would never want to jepordise what I have with him and so would never do the dirt etc.

But in saying all that I find my self attracted to and even fancying other people. I just think its old fashioned 'Temptation' raring its ugly head. I hate that I get feelings for other people as it does make me feel guilty, but you cant help how you feel I guess but you can help what you do about it.

I sometimes have dreams about these other people which makes me feel guilty but I don't indulge my fantasies like you do iykwim, but thats just me.

Just replied to show you that its not just you

pookie82

There's no harm at all in fantasising about someone else if you've no intention of doing anything about it in real life. I'll admit that thinking about her SISTERS and mates is a bit weird alright, so never, EVER share this with her!!

But if, like you say, you've no intention of cheating, then I wouldn't get too hung up on it. You can love someone and still "relax" while thinking of someone else who's hot. The prob is if this somone else is in your life alot and these fantasies could become a reality. Then you're in trouble.

Could you not just think of Angelina or Kelly Brooke for a while???

biko

"And how do we begin to covet, Clarice? Do we seek out things to covet?...No. We begin by coveting what we see every day"

As long as you just keep this to yourself and don't act on it you're fine.

Overheal

Thinking about the sisters: that'll depend, but it's not unheard of and I could think of some examples about friends, that again also depends and again I could think of some examples.

But yes, definitely don't mention it. It should never be mentioned.

Its natural to fantasize about other people. Primitively speaking we are not a mynogamous species.
Whats the situation with you and your girlfriend? If the sex has become stale, I'm sure Marksie will be by shortly to add his thoughts to that, I won't even try :rolleyes:

hullaballoo

helpneeded001 wrote: »

just want peoplles views on this, i love my girlfriend been with her three years. i love her love spending time with her n all that. but at times when im fantasising and em you know (sorry dont mean to be crude) i think of her sisters (dont worry all legal) and her friends, i cant understand why i do it and like i m confused if i love my gf why am i attracted to other people as well. i mean i would never cheat and the thought wud never cross my mind nor wud i want to to. why do i have these thoughts if i love my gf.. i mean are other people in the same boat...

sorry if this makes no sense its just been at me for a bit now

Don't worry mate, she probably fantasises about your mates too. It's part of human nature. Fantasising about someone is a completely different kettle of fish to cheating. I don't think there's even a parallel that can be drawn.

Seth Brundle

I recall hearing that most people don't fantasise about their partner!
It is perfectly normal.

biko wrote: »

"And how do we begin to covet, Clarice? Do we seek out things to covet?...No. We begin by coveting what we see every day"

As long as you just keep this to yourself and don't act on it you're fine.

...and as long as you don't do anything else that Dr. Lecter did!

She Devil

If you were my boyfriend i'd kick your ass ..... it would hurt me if i thought he fantasised about other people, i'd only ever think of him!

Overheal

She Devil wrote: »

If you were my boyfriend i'd kick your ass ..... it would hurt me if i thought he fantasised about other people, i'd only ever think of him!

You're thinking of Papa Smurf right now! :pac:

They do it too OP.. they're just strangely good at keeping secrets.

Miss Fluff

hullaballú wrote: »

Don't worry mate, she probably fantasises about your mates too. It's part of human nature. Fantasising about someone is a completely different kettle of fish to cheating. I don't think there's even a parallel that can be drawn.

+1, spot on. Just don't tell her.

Wagon

Perfectly normal. It's just human nature and I'm sure your girlfriend does the same. Besides at the end of your post you said that you'd never cheat on her and that's the important part. Think of those thoughts as just a bit of lust and nothing more

Gumbyman

biko wrote: »

"And how do we begin to covet, Clarice? Do we seek out things to covet?...No. We begin by coveting what we see every day"

As long as you just keep this to yourself and don't act on it you're fine.

Lmao - brilliant post!

Zulu

She Devil wrote: »

If you were my boyfriend i'd kick your ass ..... it would hurt me if i thought he fantasised about other people, i'd only ever think of him!

...you'll grow out of that.

_blank_

She Devil wrote: »

If you were my boyfriend i'd kick your ass ..... it would hurt me if i thought he fantasised about other people, i'd only ever think of him!

Yeah, your bf only ever thinks about you when he's jacking of. Sure he does.

He also never looks at porn either.

IrishMike

helpneeded001 wrote: »

just want peoplles views on this, i love my girlfriend been with her three years. i love her love spending time with her n all that. but at times when im fantasising and em you know (sorry dont mean to be crude) i think of her sisters (dont worry all legal) and her friends, i cant understand why i do it and like i m confused if i love my gf why am i attracted to other people as well. i mean i would never cheat and the thought wud never cross my mind nor wud i want to to. why do i have these thoughts if i love my gf.. i mean are other people in the same boat...

sorry if this makes no sense its just been at me for a bit now

Dead God man stop beating yourself up over this.
If you were on the beach in the South of Spain would you only be thinking
about your girlfriend with all that half dressed flesh on show?
I often fantasize about my g/fs friends and even her sister.
I even told her i wouldnt mind a threesome with her and her sister.
Its a fantasy its not real, dont worry about it.
As long as whatever weird **** that goes on in both of ye're heads is ok
to each other then its completely harmless.
I said i might as well be honest with the girl about the small things as
well as the big things and so i told her.
Then again she is as kinky as i am so someday that 3some might even happen

Mr. Incognito

Are you like 15 mate??

why do you think people buy playboy/FHM/Loaded.

Why do you think scantily clad women/men are are on advertisements for everything in the whole world.

Your missus has fanticised about your father.your brother hell probably even your sister. Feel guilty?? You must be joking.