What would you do?

boardinwork

Hi,

Just checking what people would do if they were me...

Was out on Friday with work and was fairly drunk arriving home. Realised i had left my keys in the office and was ringing the doorbell to the apartment i share with my mate. One of my neighbours, a girl i have met before with her boyfriend, saw me and invited me to theirs.

Went in and was chatting away about nothing much and having a beer when he arrived home. I said hello etc and he was starting to get quite angry (at the time i didnt realise why - i do now - he must have thought i was trying to get into his girlfriend).

She told me I should leave as he can "get like this" and i walked downstairs with them behind me.

When i got to the door i turned around only to be punched in the face by the boyfriend. I ended up falling out the door and cutting the back of my head.

Went to a friends that night and was urged to go to hospital because of my head and my lip looked like it needed a stitch.



I was told that the boyfriend called over to apologise the next day but i wasnt in. Would you let is slide as these things happen (which is what i probably will do) or get on to the guards like a few of my friends are telling me to do?

Cheers,:pac:

TEH REAL CDP

Dob the insecure twat in to the gardai.

He'll think twice again and maybe develop some trust for his gf.

I wouldn't take it.

radioactiveman

That guy has some issues I think. He shouldn't be able to get away with that though, I'd report him to the guards. Makes you think about the relationship he must have with his girlfriend.

Tragedy

Report it, calling over to apologise doesnt make it "ok" and if you let him get away with it, he'll think it does.

curadh

I know people on PI are quite sensitive so I'll put things easy.
It was wrong of you to stick around in hers with him not being there. If I arrived home to find my girlfriend alone with a fella my mind would do overtime. Maybe not to the point of punching you in the face but definitely being a bit annoyed. I think women are a bit naive and its all her fault for inviting you in in the first place. You have every right to go to the gardai the violence with no reasoning was a crime. Up to you. How bad is it.

boardinwork

Its not that bad, and i know i wont do anything about it. I also get your point about going in when he wasnt there. I have met the 2 of them a few times. I actually presumed he was there when i went in. As for the punch - thats something id expect from an 18 year old and i am really annoyed.

Just not fair that he can do that and gets away with it with a little apology

derek27

If she knew her bf was as much of an ass she shouldn't have put you in the line of fire by inviting you in in the first place. Go to the police. He most likely kicks sh!t out of her from time to time too. Short-tempered git.

AngryBadger

Guards FTW

There's a word for people who behave like that, scumbags.

AngryBadger

curadh wrote: »

I know people on PI are quite sensitive so I'll put things easy.
It was wrong of you to stick around in hers with him not being there. If I arrived home to find my girlfriend alone with a fella my mind would do overtime. Maybe not to the point of punching you in the face but definitely being a bit annoyed. I think women are a bit naive and its all her fault for inviting you in in the first place. You have every right to go to the gardai the violence with no reasoning was a crime. Up to you. How bad is it.

I don't think the OP was at fault for being in the apartment when the bf wasn't there.

Sure he was invited up, why would he expect that the bf would assume any kind of foul play?

I also don't think it's fair to say it's "all her fault". The OP was locked out of his place, she invited him in, all they did was share a drink. Admittedly I don't know why anyone would be involved with someone like this, but that's a seperate issue.

Zulu

no question - Guards.

AnonoBoy

Straight to the Gardai with you.

If the guy had found you frantically pulling your trousers on when he walked in then maybe there'd be some sort of reason to go all alpha male. But you weren't so there isn't.

I can see how he might have been a bit annoyed at the situation but that does not justify assault. Does this prick punch every guy in the pub who flirts with his girlfriend?

nevaeh-2die-4

When you were drunk u prob didn’t realize u were being a little flirty or camp and the boyfriend that gave u the right hook was probably a bit pissed off that the dinner wasn’t on the table and vent his anger out on you,
consider your self lucky u got a jab, he probably gave the bird a good throttling when you left.
(thanks to you)

Beruthiel

nevaeh-2die-4 wrote: »

When you were drunk u prob didn’t realize u were being a little flirty or camp and the boyfriend that gave u the right hook was probably a bit pissed off that the dinner wasn’t on the table and vent his anger out on you,
consider your self lucky u got a jab, he probably gave the bird a good throttling when you left.
(thanks to you)

I suggest you read this forums charter with regards to unhelpful comments.
Consider this your warning.
B

boardinwork

nevaeh-2die-4 wrote: »

When you were drunk u prob didn’t realize u were being a little flirty or camp and the boyfriend that gave u the right hook was probably a bit pissed off that the dinner wasn’t on the table and vent his anger out on you,
consider your self lucky u got a jab, he probably gave the bird a good throttling when you left.
(thanks to you)

HA HA HA Ok!

Well i was invited in and was by no means flirting. (She's not my type for one thing). I understand he might have thought i was being dodgy but i had met him a few times before and he seemed cool. Didnt deserve to get punched, all i did was go into theres because i was locked out of mine. Dont think the guards is my cup of tea. Ill just call him a c*nt when i see him!

LegacyUser

If I was you, I'd man up and sort this out the old-fashioned way.

I know that's not everyones style, but in my eyes if he's big enough to give it, well he better be big enough to take it!

tbh

doesn't matter if he came home and you were both in your nip. Guards. Now.

tbh

boardinwork wrote: »

HA HA HA Ok!

Well i was invited in and was by no means flirting. (She's not my type for one thing). I understand he might have thought i was being dodgy but i had met him a few times before and he seemed cool. Didnt deserve to get punched, all i did was go into theres because i was locked out of mine. Dont think the guards is my cup of tea. Ill just call him a c*nt when i see him!

the next time you see his g/f with a black eye, you can tell her to do the same.

Al_Fernz

IMO leave the Gardai out of this.

Do you have any witnesses? I think his GF would would defend the BF and you could be left without a leg to stand on.

I would either ignore the guy or accept his apology and warn him that you will go to the Gardai if tries anything again.

Singer73

Get him back, you big wuss! Next time you see him with his back to you, give him a clatter in the head and run like the bejaysus, shouting things about being with his ma, etc. You will feel so much better!

boardinwork

Talked to my mate during lunch. Gonna just let him know that if he ever tries anything like that again itll be cops involved.

He told my housemate what he did so he doesnt have a leg to stand on.

In reply to one of the lads earlier saying settling it the old fashioned way - Outgrew that about 10 years ago mate. Some of us have jobs to go to where marks on your face dont earn you the greatest amount of respect.

wylo

Al_Fernz wrote: »

I would either ignore the guy or accept his apology and warn him that you will go to the Gardai if tries anything again.

+1
exactly!!!! Next time you meet his girlfriend tell her an apology would be nice. If he does then apologise ,threaton him with the guards just to let him know the story so he cant be acting like that, but actually going to the guards over something like this sounds messy.
Id be cold with him for a long time after but at the end of the day he lost his temper and if you really dont think hes always like that it would be a bit much reporting it and holding a permanent grudge.

Pherekydes

boardinwork wrote: »

Its not that bad, and i know i wont do anything about it.

Just not fair that he can do that and gets away with it with a little apology

Congrats. Maybe next time he'll feel it's all right to kick some poor innocent guy's head in for talking to "his" girl. Maybe brain damage will ensue. Maybe you could contribute to straightening this guy out a little.

Maybe it's not fair he's getting away with it, but unfortunately, you're the one that has to do something.

Redpunto

Its assault, why are you reluctant to call the guards?

littlefriend

Would you consider going to the guards - not to press charges - but to have them issue a warning to him?
Its really not right that he gets away with treating ppl like that - he could have actually hurt you. Might be the wake up call he needs?
WTF is the girl doing with him?
Don't accept an apology from him - in fact if he comes to see you again I think you should refuse to speak to him. What a d*ck

boardinwork

Saw him outside after work yesterday so went up to him and asked him why he hit me. He looked a little taken back and was very apologetic. I told him if he ever tried anything with myself or my mate I wouldnt take it as lightly again. I think warning the guards is a good idea but would i not need his name? I just know where he lives, dont know the lad...

jacko

letting this guy away with doing something like this is a disgrace. you should go straight to the guards and make a complaint, let the guards know you dont want to press charges, just give the guy a warning.

I can't believe you haven't done this already - shame on you. In this day and age its not acceptable letting him get away with assault like that. why wont you make a complaint? its as if you felt you've done something wrong, well if you did deserve the smack then thats fine but if as you said and you did nothing wrong then you're every bit as wrong as that guy is - he's wrong for hitting you - you're wrong for letting him get away with it.

mickoneill30

boardinwork wrote: »

When i got to the door i turned around only to be punched in the face by the boyfriend. I ended up falling out the door and cutting the back of my head.

How many people need to do this to you for you to go to the guards? Is everybody allowed one free punch to send you to hospital?

Go to the guards. The reason why so many scumbags do what they do is because they know nothing will happen to them. It might make this idiot think twice before he sucker punches the next guy.

boardinwork wrote: »

I told him if he ever tried anything with myself or my mate I wouldnt take it as lightly again.

You've taken it lightly once. Why would he believe you?

Al_Fernz

boardinwork wrote: »

Saw him outside after work yesterday so went up to him and asked him why he hit me. He looked a little taken back and was very apologetic. I told him if he ever tried anything with myself or my mate I wouldnt take it as lightly again. I think warning the guards is a good idea but would i not need his name? I just know where he lives, dont know the lad...

Good stuff, looks like the approach I would have taken. Fair play for being the bigger man and not stooping down to his level.

Did your friend see the assault? If not and you decide to press charges it could get very messy. IMO not worth the hassle. Informing the Gardai, but not pressing charges might be worth looking at.

kittenkiller

curadh wrote: »

I think women are a bit naive and its all her fault for inviting you in in the first place.

WTF???
She saw her neighbour locked out of his appartment, knew he knew she had a boyfriend and took pity of the sorry state of him and it was her fault he got hit?
Are you serious?

So to summarise, if a girl is a decent human being and a man happens to benefit from this decency, the woman is niave and deserves whatever happens?

OP, now that you've warned him , i guess the best thing to do is to leave it and avoid his girlfriend because I doubt an insecure smalld1ck like her boyfriend is going to get over his issues as easy as that.

boardinwork

Al_Fernz wrote: »

Good stuff, looks like the approach I would have taken. Fair play for being the bigger man and not stooping down to his level.

Did your friend see the assault? If not and you decide to press charges it could get very messy. IMO not worth the hassle. Informing the Gardai, but not pressing charges might be worth looking at.

Thanks for that. Was getting a bit of a grilling off the other lads there!
The guy was in on Saturday to apologise but i wasnt there. He told my housemate what he did so there is my proof. Ill tell the guards about it but all i can do is tell them about a guy in apartment 20!

Malice

I would go straight to the guards without a second thought. An unprovoked assault is unforgivable. What if the back of your head had made contact with their front step? Maybe the next person he assaults when "he gets like that" won't be so lucky!

curadh wrote: »

It was wrong of you to stick around in hers with him not being there.

Why was it wrong? It's her house too! As someone else said, if he was frantically pulling on his trousers then maybe there would be a problem.

curadh wrote:

If I arrived home to find my girlfriend alone with a fella my mind would do overtime. Maybe not to the point of punching you in the face but definitely being a bit annoyed.

You would get annoyed because your girlfriend invited someone she obviously trusts to a certain extent into her house? Thank God not everyone is that insecure!

BobTheBeat

You dont really owe the guy anything so by letting it slide youre doing yourself an injustice. The fact that she said "he gets like this", would suggest its not the first time he reacted like this. I'd bring the b*stard to the cleaners if I were you.

Mr. Incognito

You owe it to the next chap he's going to sucker punch to get the guards involved.

Press charges imo.

jaybay

If you make a complaint to the Guards, you don't get to choose whether or not you can "press charges". They will make a decision as to whether your assailant should be prosecuted along with the DPP. All you can say is whether or not you would be willing to make a complaint by giving a statement. If you do that, it's out of your hands. If you don't, don't expect the Gardai to do anything as they have enough work to do without worrying about quasi complaints.

He hit you, you were injured, there's no reasonable defence, he'd be charged. He's apologised, you gain nothing from the prosecution.

Ask him to write a letter of apology and make a charitable donation as a token of his remorse. If he's unwilling to do that, make a complaint and the Court will order it or give him a criminal record.

cowzerp

You can make an informal complaint and can make it formal in future.

Pat McGhee

curadh wrote: »

It was wrong of you to stick around in hers with him not being there. If I arrived home to find my girlfriend alone with a fella my mind would do overtime. Maybe not to the point of punching you in the face but definitely being a bit annoyed.

It's called trust & if you don't have that in a relationship, then you don't have much of a relationship. It wouldn't bother me one bit if I came home to find a neighbour woman chatting to my bf in my home & I know if the roles were reversed, it wouldn't bother him either. Just because we love & are committed to each other, doesn't mean we have to shun all other members of the opposite sex.

boardinwork wrote: »

Just not fair that he can do that and gets away with it with a little apology

I was about to say that it would be your own fault if he got away with it, but then I read this:

boardinwork wrote: »

Saw him outside after work yesterday so went up to him and asked him why he hit me. He looked a little taken back and was very apologetic. I told him if he ever tried anything with myself or my mate I wouldnt take it as lightly again.

Fair play. You took a stand for yourself, no doubt you feel much better for it & he now knows it's not acceptable behaviour. Well he probably knew all along but being afronted with his bad behaviour no doubt caused him to take a step back & look at himself. At least I hope so for his gf's sake, & the sake of all the other unwitting men out there who might accept a friendly invitation!

fuzzywiggle

I would definitely go to the gaurds over this. He'd no right to do that to you.

Wing Walker

cowzerp wrote: »

You can make an informal complaint and can make it formal in future.

+1

At the end of the day, it's up to you to decide whether you want to proceed with a complaint. Without it, the cops can't continue.

Generally, I've found the Gardai to be very accommodating. With road traffic offences, they'll actually ask if you just want to have the offender warned or if you want to press charges. I'm sure they'll be as accommodating with other matters, no?