Have I a right to be angry?

LegacyUser · 31-03-2008 8:04am #1

Basicly , It was my 21'st this weekend and I went out into town for it and that, the lads had organized a night out. My girlfriend was heading out the night before with her freinds from work which I of course was grand with, I've been with her 4 years and never have a problem with her going out so I told her as I did earlier in the week what time we were meeting at the next day and where etc. She ended up staying out all night in some blokes house and texting me at 12 the next day saying she aint slept and all, I said get some sleep and i'll see you later.

So we headed out and she starts texting me giving out saying she's not coming etc becasue I neevr told her what we were doing which I clearly did, she turns up then 2-3 hours late and starts argueing with me, I honestly didn't know why she was starting on my bday of all times and asked her to leave it and if there was a problem we'd chat the next day but no- ended up my mate having to take her to a taxi to stop her ruining the night, she slammed my present on the table and stormed out, I did't even open it to be honest I don't want it because the way she acted. Then to add to it I come into work this morning and find a video on youtube of her and all her mates slagging me off on there night out the other night?

Of course she's also said that all this is my fault and tried to turn it on me, she has this gift of being able to turn anything against me and some how making it my fault...I just don't understand why she did all this to me. Thanks for listening..needed to vent.

biko · 31-03-2008 8:45am

Then to add to it I come into work this morning and find a video on youtube of her and all her mates slagging me off on there night out the other night?

This alone would pi55 me off big time.

c - 13 · 31-03-2008 8:49am

To be honest the video on youtube would have me raging.

To be truthful in your shoes I would dump her, regardless if you have been together for four years or not if she does that with all her friends and then tries to turn it back on you (regardless of who actually loaded it to youtube) then she obviously has no respect for you.

I recommend you take a serious look at this relationship and see if its really worth trying to save.

I know what i'd do.

cowzerp · 31-03-2008 8:51am

She knew you where going to find out about this and was on the defensive, what a bitch. she needs to grow up, i'd think about wheter she's worth it or not???

davyjose · 31-03-2008 8:57am

c - 13 wrote: »

To be honest the video on youtube would have me raging.

To be truthful in your shoes I would dump her, regardless if you have been together for four years or not if she does that with all her friends and then tries to turn it back on you (regardless of who actually loaded it to youtube) then she obviously has no respect for you.

I recommend you take a serious look at this relationship and see if its really worth trying to save.

I know what i'd do.

I would agree with this 100% That's just for starters, there's also the fact that she missed your 21st because she stayed "in some blokes house".

Some respect issues there I think. Is that love? I dunno, you need to ask yourself, because who wants to have wasted 4 years with someone that doesn't love them.

allybhoy · 31-03-2008 8:58am

angry49 wrote: »

She ended up staying out all night in some blokes house and texting me at 12 the next day saying she aint slept and all.

??Did u know the fella? Why was she stayin some fellas house the night b4 ur b'day?

How did u find the youtube video? And what did she say in it?

Man id give this girl the bullet ASAP, cos it sounds like she has no respect for you whatsover.

punchdrunk · 31-03-2008 8:59am

time to move on i think! you don't need that crap in your life
make her a nice you tube video saying exactly what you think of her and the way she's acted,and email her the link!

Darn I'm evil...

Mazeire · 31-03-2008 8:59am

She did it because she's an immature little princess who wants everyone and everything to dance to her tune and throws a tantrum when things dont go her way. If you stay with her, you can look forward to several more incidents like this. Even if you took the birthday bit out of it, the you tube video is grounds enough to get rid of her.

LegacyUser · 31-03-2008 9:01am

Dump that zero and find yourself a hero!

Sherifu · 31-03-2008 9:02am

angry49 wrote: »

I just don't understand why she did all this to me.

Jealousy/Insecurity would be my guess.

Al_Fernz · 31-03-2008 9:06am

In what way was the YouTube vid insulting you? I can't imagine that it would be too bad or intentional if somebody put it up.

I think this might be a case of mixed up communications. I'd agree with the other posters, you need to meet her and talk about it. I'm not too sure if I would be angry in the same situation because I don't really know the context of it all.

TheDriver · 31-03-2008 9:07am

P45 I'd say but try to ask her what that was all about and if she is doing the princess act, don't accept it and calmly thank her for being such a bitch on your bday and say bye byes

LegacyUser · 31-03-2008 9:08am

I don't know the guy, she works with him and went out cause they were having a work night out, I found the video posted on her profile on bebo going through you tube it was titles "Insert my name here is a ****head" and was her and her guy mates just taking the piss out of me, i'm pretty hurt to be honest i'd never do that to her and the fact that she's blaming this on me is unreal, it's not the first time she's been selfish and done something like this to attract attention, my friends generally won't go out with the two of us because it ends up with an arguement with her...

dudara · 31-03-2008 9:16am

No one should let themselves be treated like that. It might be time to think long and hard about this relationship. TBH, I'd be cutting her loose.

LegacyUser · 31-03-2008 9:19am

Aww angry49.. You poor thing

That's so horrible, I'm sorry but what a b*tch!! You didn't deserve that. My bf stood me up on my b'day and when one of his friends rang to see where he was, turned out he was off in a pub somewhere having a great night. It was so humiliating - but he said it was my own fault and stupidly, I blamed myself. That was what knocked me down in the end.

I let him away with it and he eventually dumped me in front of all his friends and went off with some new girl. Absolutely broke my heart. It still hurts now and I reckon it's probably because I never stood up for myself. I let him do it to me.

Don't let this slide, she'll only do it again and again and next time it'll be worse.
Give the present back to her (he never got me anything so I didn't have this problem) but I don't see why you should accept it when you feel so hurt. Give it back and tell her everything you feel.

Good Luck

davyjose · 31-03-2008 9:19am

I don't mean playing games, but a nice solid dumping might wake her up (you have to mean it though) and if she wants to win you back, let her start by ditching the "mates" who slagged you off on a public website. Otherwise, move on.
Other than that I can't see it being in your best interest staying with her. I mean even if this is an isolated incident (doubtful, but you'd know), then why does it happen right after she spends the night at some blokes house (again I'm assuming this is some kind of house part, otherwise, you would surely have prioritised this fact above the others).

punchdrunk · 31-03-2008 9:21am

angry49 wrote: »

I don't know the guy, she works with him and went out cause they were having a work night out, I found the video posted on her profile on bebo going through you tube it was titles "Insert my name here is a ****head" and was her and her guy mates just taking the piss out of me, i'm pretty hurt to be honest i'd never do that to her and the fact that she's blaming this on me is unreal, it's not the first time she's been selfish and done something like this to attract attention, my friends generally won't go out with the two of us because it ends up with an arguement with her...

this to me says it all really,the best yardstick you can get of your relationship outside of yourself/herself is what yours mate make of it,sounds like they can't stand her!
time for the P45...

davyjose · 31-03-2008 9:22am

angry49 wrote: »

I don't know the guy, she works with him and went out cause they were having a work night out, I found the video posted on her profile on bebo going through you tube it was titles "Insert my name here is a ****head" and was her and her guy mates just taking the piss out of me, i'm pretty hurt to be honest i'd never do that to her and the fact that she's blaming this on me is unreal, it's not the first time she's been selfish and done something like this to attract attention, my friends generally won't go out with the two of us because it ends up with an arguement with her...

Woah, hey it's not easy ending a long relationship like this, but I think you deserve better from your life. There are plenty of nice (and yes, hot too) girls out there, and you're young enough to enjoy being single.
Anyway, you saw the general tone of the replies here.

crazym · 31-03-2008 9:26am

Sounds like she wants to be dumped mate, in a very juvenile way she seams to be pushing you to dump her so she doesn't have to, hence you will be the bad guy... ask her out straight does she want to have a relationship or not.

Beruthiel · 31-03-2008 9:29am

angry49 wrote: »

she starts texting me giving out saying she's not coming etc becasue I neevr told her what we were doing which I clearly did, she turns up then 2-3 hours late and starts argueing with me, I honestly didn't know why she was starting on my bday of all times and asked her to leave it and if there was a problem we'd chat the next day but no- ended up my mate having to take her to a taxi to stop her ruining the night, she slammed my present on the table and stormed out, I did't even open it to be honest I don't want it because the way she acted. Then to add to it I come into work this morning and find a video on youtube of her and all her mates slagging me off on there night out the other night?

She clearly has no respect for you.
Personally, I would not allow anyone treat me like that.
You deserve someone who actually cares about you and your feelings, who respects you and thinks the world of you. She does not.
It maybe difficult for you, but dump her and cut her out of your life.
You don't need someone like her in your life.

bada_bing · 31-03-2008 9:32am

crazym wrote: »

Sounds like she wants to be dumped mate, in a very juvenile way she seams to be pushing you to dump her so she doesn't have to, hence you will be the bad guy... ask her out straight does she want to have a relationship or not.

+1

Al_Fernz · 31-03-2008 9:35am

I revise what I said before. That video title says it all, she sounds like a muppet. Nip this one in the bud and dump her.

Zulu · 31-03-2008 9:47am

She spent the night in another blokes house...
...slagging you off.
She posted this publicly.
She was late for your birthday.
She picked a fight with you at your party.
...in front of your friends...
...which was so bad, she needed to be sent home.
She tried to blame you.
She won't recognise her mistake.
She won't apologise.

She clearly has no respect for you. And she's a sh1t girlfriend. I couldn't care less if she looked like Nat. Portman and could suck a tennis ball through a 50m garden hose, I'd dump her disrespectful as$ so quick...
In fairness, what are you waiting for? the video of her making out with another bloke on you tube??

all the stars · 31-03-2008 9:49am

angry49 wrote: »

I just don't understand why she did all this to me. Thanks for listening..needed to vent.

So.... Get rid of this fool. These type of fools give all us good ladies a bad name. If i acted like an ass like that mrs of yours i'd expect to be dumped.

Clearly this girl is immature, selfish and is more of an ache than is worth. Nobody has the right to carry on like an ass like that, ruin your birthday & just wreck yer head..

And, may i add if your friends hate her - (which they probably do) and you keep seeing her and rowing, you'll probably see you less & less coz they wont want the headache either. Mr - take hold of yer life and get happy!:)
Chuck the fool!

funky_monkey · 31-03-2008 9:52am

oh my god! get rid of that psyscho. she obviously has no respect for you whatsoever. you deserve much better! :mad:

God help whoever ends up with her.

SheroN · 31-03-2008 9:52am

Dump her. But do it via a video on you tube.

funky_monkey · 31-03-2008 9:54am

hahah love it! and make sure to have your mates with you to laugh about it.

A.Partridge · 31-03-2008 9:54am

El dumpo supremo....pronto.:cool:

TEH REAL CDP · 31-03-2008 9:54am

Seriously man, my ex was exactly like this.

This relationship is over. 21 is the best year of your life. She has 0 respect for you. She berates you in front of your friends. Humiliates you, acts like a b**ch on your birthday...

The killer is, she has the nerve to tell you that she was in the company of some bloke.
And then she posts a video of them slagging you off on the internet?

The best thing i ever did was dump my ex. yeah sure, we had some good times but when the balance begins to get one sided you have to stand up for yourself. This girl is not the one for you. I can tell you this. I think you know it in your heart and soul but you won't perhaps admit it? Thats ok too - it takes time to accept that a long relationship may be coming to an end. You need, for the sake of your own mental health to cut this loose. If its meant to be, it will be - one way or another. You're 21 mate, seriously - the best years of your life. I'm not saying to go on a one night stand sex binge as a singleton, but you need to distance yourself. This girl is not in love with you, she is in love with the fact that she thinks she has total control over you. Don't be a doormat. Don't be a wimp. You have EVERY right to be angry. She sounds like a jumped up little madam who doesn't know what she has. Trust me, I've been there - same length as well and I know what's coming, you have to end this. Its not healthy - it has all the signs of an adolescent bred co-dependent relationship. Not good. You sound like you have the balls to go with this and end it. I really hope you do, don't waste anymore of your life with someone who clearly demonstrates irrational thought processes and doesn't care about you. She only cares for herself.

I've learned that if you want to be happy with someone, you've got to find happiness in your own company first. Then you'll know if a relationship is right for you. You need to take sometime for yourself. Just end it dude, call her up - meet, be dignified, be resistant to her waterworks, as cold faced as you can be and end it. Delete all her numbers etc from your phone, get rid of anything she gave you, delete the messages and meet up with your mates. You need them. This is serious business. She sounds retarded and demented. As I said, been there - did that - bought and sold the t-shirt. I know the signs. You need to assert yourself and just go with it. F*ck this "insecurity" crap, you're not married are you? Don't take that as an excuse man, its just a control mechanism she's trying to use. I mean this. I went through hell before I finally cut it off. Don't waste any more time on this. Just do it.

Best of luck. I hope you do the right thing. Cut her off. Indefinitely. You will not regret it.

nevaeh-2die-4 · 31-03-2008 9:56am

I think by the sounds of it, she may have met someone the night she was out and mayb looking to give you a excuse to finish with her,

if my misuses didn’t come home and stayed in some blokes house.
Well see below

"Ezekiel 25:17"

"The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides with the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who in the name of charity and good will shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon those with great vengeance and with furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know that my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee."

TouchingVirus · 31-03-2008 10:02am

If that was my girlfriend, she'd be cut loose for sure. To her face, short sweet and oh so simple. Don't do it on youtube though, you're lowering yourself to her level, show her the respect she didn't show you

punchdrunk · 31-03-2008 10:06am

ah no do it over youtube! :cool:

james123 · 31-03-2008 10:21am

4 years im guessing she has put you through alot probably because you let her away with it. You need to stand your ground on this and dump.
Its unacceptable !!

LegacyUser · 31-03-2008 10:32am

Yeah I have more horror stories in our time together. Unbelievable ones I think she's gone too far this time, before I met her I was a confident, social, liked guy. Now i don't feel myself and havent for a long time, she's made me not believe in myself and i've lost alot of friends etc. Thanks for all the replies it seems fairly clear cut the general opinon and I think I know what I gotta do.

"Her ass is grass and i'm going to smoke it"

davyjose · 31-03-2008 10:52am

angry49 wrote: »

Now i don't feel myself and havent for a long time, she's made me not believe in myself and i've lost alot of friends etc.

This is such a bad thing for someone to do to you. You owe it to yourself. Save that youtube clip, so if the breakup feels hard, or you feel like calling her, you can remind yourself how worth it it is.

Best of luck dude.;)

Zulu · 31-03-2008 10:54am

gotta go with the You Tube dumping.
She deserves it. You know she does.

Yah and great point on saving the you tube clip - so you can always remember how little respect she had for you.

Balmed Out · 31-03-2008 11:47am

U tube???? And you havent dumped her ass ?????? Id do it quickly and publicly. Take out a ross o caroll kelly and use one of the put downs

LegacyUser · 31-03-2008 12:22pm

She just text me, she says that the video is not about me and apparently one of her managers is called the same name as me and that's who they were insulting, not sure if I believe it and it still doesn't excuse the way she behaved, I know her friends don't like me anyway.

Either way it's becomiong too much regardless, this is the 6'th saturday night in a row she's started an arguement- looking back seems to be worst with drink, another thing I think I missed, when she drinks it gets worst, more volitile.

andrewie · 31-03-2008 12:49pm

Man, you have every right to be angry.
Like people are saying, break up with her publicly and humiliate her like she has done to you.

davyjose · 31-03-2008 12:55pm

What are you gonna gain? It's not really that cool when you think about it, and any "moral-victory" you would otherwise have will be destroyed. It will just make the break-up harder.
Say it to her face, explain why, and walk away.

Anyone on here telling you to do it on youtube does not really, IMO, have your best interest at heart. They just want a funny story!!!

siouxie sue · 31-03-2008 12:58pm

You should get rid of her immediately! You have wasted 4 years of your life with her, time to move on. If you stay with her then one day she will become pregnant and then you'll be well fecked. Life over.

Al_Fernz · 31-03-2008 1:06pm

davyjose wrote: »

This is such a bad thing for someone to do to you. You owe it to yourself. Save that youtube clip, so if the breakup feels hard, or you feel like calling her, you can remind yourself how worth it it is.

Best of luck dude.;)

Great advice IMO

LegacyUser · 31-03-2008 1:21pm

p45 = good advice

can't let her get away with that or it'll set a precedent not only for the rest of that relationship but for others too.

wouldn't youtube the breakup although it'd be hilarious - no need to stoop to her level.

good luck, let us know how you get on.

markesmith · 31-03-2008 2:43pm

Have to agree, don't put it on YouTube. Here's what you should do:

Arrange to meet her. When you meet, tell her that it's over. Then get out of there. Don't betray any emotion if possible. Just leave her and leave it at that.

Cut off all contact. Don't answer her calls, emails, texts, etc. It will be difficult, but it's worth it in the long run.

I've got a mate who's going out with a girl quite similar to you. He's getting married soon, but she's ruined him, and you just know that married life to her will knock whatever corners are left off of him. She makes a show of him in public when she has a couple of drinks, and she never has anything good to say about anyone or anything.

If this girl is going to slag you off on a public website like that (and even if you share the same name as her manager, how's anyone else to know that) and ruin your birthday party like that, really my friend she's not worth it. There is much better out there.

It'll be tough for a bit, but honestly in the long run you'll be glad you did it.

Miss Fluff · 31-03-2008 3:02pm

If you love and respect someone you wouldn't dream of treating them like that. Dump her immediately.

skywalker · 31-03-2008 3:07pm

SheroN wrote: »

Dump her. But do it via a video on you tube.

100%. Email it to her & all her friends too.

AngryBadger · 31-03-2008 3:08pm

Your girlfriend sounds like a muppet, in this instance I'd very nearly sanction a little hand-on-face action.

Dump her.

chris_oc · 31-03-2008 4:06pm

angry49 wrote: »

Then to add to it I come into work this morning and find a video on youtube of her and all her mates slagging me off on there night out the other night?

QUOTE]
what a bunch of spanners, yes you have absolutely every right to be mad even for this alone.
why does she turn everything around on you? simply because she figured out that she can!
if she comes crawlin back id consider maybe givin it another chance but if she doesnt ,well then f**k her.....
she sounds like a spoilt little brat by the sounds of it. tbh i wouldnt take that sh1t.

CrazyNoob · 31-03-2008 4:08pm

markesmith wrote: »

Have to agree, don't put it on YouTube. Here's what you should do:

Arrange to meet her. When you meet, tell her that it's over. Then get out of there. Don't betray any emotion if possible. Just leave her and leave it at that.

Cut off all contact. Don't answer her calls, emails, texts, etc. It will be difficult, but it's worth it in the long run.

IMO Best advise so far, agree 100% dont put it on YouTube - thats childish.

Meet - dump her in person (if preferable with as many people around) but I stress be as cold as possible show her no emotion - A simple Hello, you're Dumped, Bye and walk off

cowzerp · 31-03-2008 5:13pm

Do it over youtube dude, she does not deserve your respect, you might aswell let her know how it feels like-dont mind all this bull about been th better 1!! yeah right, and she'll continue to laugh about how she humiliated you publicly, you tube dumping, and please give us all the link!!!

sorry about you having to move on but its for the best, go for it.

Wagon · 31-03-2008 5:40pm

"Manager from work" my hole. Dump her mate, you deserve much better and tell her I said that in the process

Don't bother with the YouTube thing. It's a fun idea, but not a clever one. She seems to be the type of immature bitch that would make a string of videos as revenge and you won't hear the end of it for long time. So tell her everything you hate about her, don't have a single nice word to say and make sure you make her cry. And then never speak to her again. Believe me, she deserves it.

Have I a right to be angry?

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