Never had a gf at 22?

needhelpguy

Sorry I know you get this a lot but I have to get this off my chest.

Is it weird that I am a regular 22 year old guy who has never had a girlfriend? In fact I've never even touched a girl intimately. I feel weird knowing that my 15 year old cousin has more relationship experience than I do.

For the longest time it never bothered me at all but it has started to get to me now. I have an intense desire for something more fulfilling from life, someone who could love me and vise versa. I even have dreams about it. I don't know why this has suddenly become a priority in my life, maybe I'm getting old?

For a while I actually thought I was gay, everytime I saw an attractive boy I'd feel a desire to be with him, but it's happening with girls now, on a deeper level. My head is all over the place.

I'm not unattractive or socially stunted, just quiet and a bit underconfident.

There's an attractive girl who joined a club I'm in recently and I was attracted to her initially, but had no experience in that area so didn't think she'd even like me that way. Anyway she has a boyfriend. But lately I've been thinking more about her and this is somehow like a catalyst for my feelings (and desires in life). Regardless, she's older than me by two years and I get the feeling I'm probably not the sort of guy she would go out with.

I just feel that life experiences are passing me by and everyone else is ahead in this area while I haven't even begun. I just feel sad sometimes about it.

Can anyone offer insight?

spurious

No it's not weird. You might be surprised how many people your age and older are in your situation.

You say you at one stage thought you might be gay and your head is all over the place - well you haven't experimented at all yet, so there is no reason why you would have discovered your true sexuality.

Your confidence and self esteem sound quite low from what you've posted. A girl is far more likely to not be interested in you because of your lack of confidence than because of your inexperience.

I know it doesn't seem like it, but these things tend to happen when you're not trying so hard. You will wonder afterwards what all the fuss was about.

There is nothing wrong with you.

corcaigh07

hey lad, thats tough. im 22 as well, i dont know how to help you except remain calm, be yourself and dont get yourself down. dont think that any girl is out of reach, especially the ones closest to you. they may feel the same about you only you'd never know because they feel your shunting them away. think positive

some girls will even find it quite attractive that you havent been a man whore the last few years.

for me personally, if i like a girl, ill try to be her friend and find a connection possibly. if nothing happens after that, grand, if theres more, great! im no stud, if i have a dry spell, so what, im not changing who i am.

hope this helps a little....

bronte

corcaigh07 wrote: »

some girls will even find it quite attractive that you havent been a man whore the last few years.

This is very true, you are not in the slightest bit weird at all.
Please don't rush yourself into anything at all.
Let it happen at it's own pace, and follow your heart!

LegacyUser

Dude im 25

been around most of the world on my own and i must of met about 6 girls i found interesting.
and thats no word of a lie ive had a few gfs and about 2 of them i talk to ive had a few 1 night stands but hey any way my point being you creat your own luck start beleaveing it as for this girl who you find attractive whos got a boy friend perfect for yout to raise your confidance strike up a conversation with her regarding your club, you do fancy her so thats good it means ule be putting your self under preasure you sound like an intelgent dude so you really shouldnt have trouble talking to her about things and just become a friend.

what that will do is ease you in to haveing some confidance about talking to women once you get confidance your half way there, Now remember two hings

1 you diserve to get your self a girl.
2 most women like being chatted up it makes them feel good about them selve's and itle also make you feel good.
3 womens body laungege 101
she's playing with hair,=good
her eyes are every where in the room but oin yours = bad
direct eye contact = Very good
Unresponosive conversation = Bad
Licking her lips as she talks to you = Thats very good.

so man dont stress... just be your self, good things will come.

hopw this helps

Dudess

It's only weird to you and to the other guy who's posted here that's 22 (the fella who said "that's tough", but he still gave you some great advice and he certainly wasn't being dismissive of you). To those of us who are older and have more perspective, it's not even vaguely weird - exceptionally unweird actually.

I can assure you there are guys out there who are 32 and 42 and have never had girlfriends - 32, it's a bit more unusual but not exceptionally so; 42, yes that's rather unusual but then again, there might be a perfectly non weird explanation for it, it really depends on the individual.

Considering you're nowhere near either age, you have nothing - repeat, nothing - to worry about. Go work on your confidence now and keep telling yourself you do deserve a girlfriend until you truly believe it. It's people like that for whom it happens... Also, enjoy your youth. You only get one shot at it. Getting a girlfriend really shouldn't be your top priority at this stage of your life. Relax, and have fun with your mates. And have a bit of fun with girls too - there's nothing wrong with casual flings.

maybe I'm getting old?

Gigantic LOL :D:D
Although your style of writing is exceptionally mature for a 22-year-old. That in itself would have had me attracted to you when I was 22..

As for your 15-year-old cousin: people develop sexually at different ages. For some it's 13, others it's 25. You've got to remember too that not all teens who are sexually active actually want to be, they just feel pressurised into it. Plus, a lot of them are just all talk.

corcaigh07

Dudess wrote: »

It's only weird to you and to the other guy who's posted here that's 22 (the fella who said "that's tough", but he still gave you some great advice and he certainly wasn't being dismissive of you). To those of us who are older and have more perspective, it's not even vaguely weird - exceptionally unweird actually.

I can assure you there are guys out there who are 32 and 42 and have never had girlfriends - 32, it's a bit more unusual but not exceptionally so; 42, yes that's rather unusual but then again, there might be a perfectly non weird explanation for it, it really depends on the individual.

Considering you're nowhere near either age, you have nothing - repeat, nothing - to worry about. Go work on your confidence now and keep telling yourself you do deserve a girlfriend until you truly believe it. It's people like that for whom it happens... Also, enjoy your youth. You only get one shot at it. Getting a girlfriend really shouldn't be your top priority at this stage of your life. Relax, and have fun with your mates. And have a bit of fun with girls too - there's nothing wrong with casual flings.

Gigantic LOL :D:D
Although your style of writing is exceptionally mature for a 22-year-old. That in itself would have had me attracted to you when I was 22..

As for your 15-year-old cousin: people develop sexually at different ages. For some it's 13, others it's 25. You've got to remember too that not all teens who are sexually active actually want to be, they just feel pressurised into it. Plus, a lot of them are just all talk.

ooppss didnt realise!:o

Dudess

Oh no I wasn't having a go at you. You still gave the OP some great advice. What I'm saying though is: the OP thinks he's unusual at his age, and you're the same age, so that makes it more likely that you'd agree with him. But I'm not saying that for definite - I'm just presuming so.

Also OP, there seems to be this unwritten "rule" that everyone meets someone by their late teens - why is that a guarantee though? Why is it even a guarantee that we'll all meet someone by our late 30s? Some people are choosier than others and have every right to be.

corcaigh07

no offense taken dont worry! when i said thats tough, i was more referring to his state of mind and frustration. i reckon i have a few friends in a simliar position to OP but it doesnt show in public at least.
i reckon its just a matter of talking. the op openly admitted he's a bit shy. i talk to some of my girl friends as easily as my male mates. try not to put women in general on a lofty perch and approach as you would to a male(at least initally)(obviously easier said than done and everyone is different, male and female.)

Sprouts

Your 22 relax man, just be yourself and everything will drop into place, never put yourself down, some lucky girl will see you for what you are. It happens when the time is right, don't over analyze your life, just try to enjoy it.