What is a break?

Nikster

What exactly is a break?
Can you be with someone else while you're on a break?

davyjose

See confused guy's thread. A break means you are broken up, but one party doesn't want to deal with the hard stuff or be the bad guy. A break is a sham word for break-up.
IMO, you can do whatever the hell you want on a break, as long as you're not the one who called for the "break". Otherwise call it a break-up!

Nikster

I'd like to break up but I don't know how to say it without sounding like a complete bitch

Silverfish

Taken from this thread:

cuckoo wrote: »

Cuckoo's Short Guide to Breaking Up with Someone:

1) location - their place. please, spare the soon-to-be-ex (STBE) the humiliation of crying while walking home. Not in/on bed.

2) straight away when they open the door - "we need to talk". don't have a 2 hour conversation/meal/sex session and then break the news. this is cruel and unusual treatment of the STBE, they will torture themselves replaying the conversation/meal/sex session wondering what they did wrong.

3) but....there is one exception to the straight away rule. if the STBE looks upset when they open the door do take the 2 minutes to check that no relative has just died or anything. if so, delay the dumping until another time.

4) keep the cliches to a minimum

5) don't say "i'm not in the right place for a relationship right now". really - don't, because if you do meet the person of your dreams a week later you'll be making a liar of yourself when you couple up with them. also, this leaves the STBE possibly hoping that it's a 'just now' problem and that you two will get back together soon in the future. messy.

6) as said upthread - ireland is a small place. a reputation for cruel or inept dumpings can follow someone around.

7) and finally, be kind. firm, but kind. and, if they are upset accept it. i once was told while being dumped "don't be upset like that - you're making me feel bad". My response to that involved a high level of hysteria.

Note: this guidelines apply to a 'i'm just not that into you anymore' dumping, there are different rules for a 'you cheater/pychopath/thief/u gave me a STI' dumping.

Nikster

I'd like to do the dumping at their place, but the alcoholic housemate is around too much and I can't break up with someone while there's company around. The soon-to-be-ex is going to phone me in a few mins to see am I calling around this evening and I don't know what to do

SarahSassy

SAy no and only meet with him when you can have some privacy...

Nikster

Got the call, and not calling out there tonight. It WILL be done tomorrow though

Miss Fluff

Nikster wrote: »

I'd like to break up but I don't know how to say it without sounding like a complete bitch

You'd be more of a bitch saying you are taking a "break" if you have no intention of getting back together

Nikster

Miss Fluff wrote: »

You'd be more of a bitch saying you are taking a "break" if you have no intention of getting back together

I'm not 100% sure we wouldn't be getting back together. My whole life I never really got the "break thing". Either you're together, or you're not. I think if I'm even doubting things it means that it's over, so I'n just going to break off completely

Cathmandooo

Agreed that you shouldnt suggest a 'break', it's pretty much just leaving the other person hanging waiting for your call. It's selfish to do. Go to the house and ask to speak to him/her in private if the housemate is there. Then follow the rules posted above. It's an awful thing to do and never easy. Just be respectful, we all deserve respect.

Cathmandooo

Nikster wrote: »

I'm not 100% sure we wouldn't be getting back together. My whole life I never really got the "break thing". Either you're together, or you're not. I think if I'm even doubting things it means that it's over, so I'n just going to break off completely

It doesnt matter if you're not 100% sure about that. If you're 100% sure that you dont want to be with him now then break up with him. If you want him back in the future then approach that when the time comes. If he's with someone else then it's your loss and you've missed out. Be sure you want to break up with him and stick to it. Don't mess him around.

Puffin

My understanding of a break is that it means:

1. you can refuse to call your partner/see your partner/help your partner YET demand they call you/see you/help you
2. you can do whatever you want with whoever you want YET you can hit the roof if they look at anyone else
3. if you decide you were actually better with them, you can just switch the relationship back on, at a time that suits you YET if you decide that you are better off without them, you don’t need to give them the courtesy of telling them. You can just assume they’ll work it out.
4. if you are with someone else, then get back together, that’s fine YET if they are with someone else, then get back together, they cheated.

Nikster

Puffin wrote: »

My understanding of a break is that it means:

1. you can refuse to call your partner/see your partner/help your partner YET demand they call you/see you/help you
2. you can do whatever you want with whoever you want YET you can hit the roof if they look at anyone else
3. if you decide you were actually better with them, you can just switch the relationship back on, at a time that suits you YET if you decide that you are better off without them, you don’t need to give them the courtesy of telling them. You can just assume they’ll work it out.
4. if you are with someone else, then get back together, that’s fine YET if they are with someone else, then get back together, they cheated.

That's funny. It's over now

HBK

Nikster wrote: »

That's funny. It's over now

OP if you need cheering up, im right here :P

Liam Byrne

Puffin wrote: »

My understanding of a break is that it means:

1. you can refuse to call your partner/see your partner/help your partner YET demand they call you/see you/help you
2. you can do whatever you want with whoever you want YET you can hit the roof if they look at anyone else
3. if you decide you were actually better with them, you can just switch the relationship back on, at a time that suits you YET if you decide that you are better off without them, you don’t need to give them the courtesy of telling them. You can just assume they’ll work it out.
4. if you are with someone else, then get back together, that’s fine YET if they are with someone else, then get back together, they cheated.

That's a break :eek: ???? I've known girl(s) who would've viewed more than one of those as a "relationship" (to be fair, #4 might not have applied) !!!

P.S. We're not the only ones who think the phrase is unfair and should be - erm - "ditched"......

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/3530260.stm

Nikster

HBK wrote: »

OP if you need cheering up, im right here :P

I'm actually totally fine about it, which means I probably did the right thing!

chris_oc

HBK wrote: »

OP if you need cheering up, im right here :P

LOL!! sounds to me like you tend to be the perfect rebound guy! its ok though,me too:rolleyes:
the world always needs rebound guys/girls
*they fill in the gaps:p

sorry for ya bout the break up OP..