Long distance relationship hmmm

LegacyUser

I'm going out with a really cool guy, for about four months. We live quite far away from each other as I had to relocate so we might only get to see each other once every 1-2 months. Today I was finding things a bit hard and I texted him to tell him I was feeling very far away from him, the last few days but that I hoped he had a fun night (him+ his single friend went out last night and stayed at someone's house). When he replied after a few hours, he said the night was fun+ 'they' are over at his and his friends house (he never told me who 'they' were). He said they're dressing in his clothes+ it's going to be a another night sleeping on a chair. So I basically get from that, that they were hanging out with some people last night+ now there's at least one girl over trying on his clothes+ sleeping in his bed.

I really don't want to be a psycho girlfriend... as shur, it could be a couple sleeping in his bed or something!... I don't know. By asking him, I'm going to come across as being too controlling.I just hate being stupidly jealous over something, probably so small..... I just feel like saying, gosh that sounds like a great idea, I think I'll invite some guys around to wear my clothes and sleep in my bed. I do know his ex got very jealous if he flirted with other girls.... he said he's like that anyway, but is a very faithful person, so it really annoyed him. Has anyone any advice? thanks. I haven't replied to him yet and I'm not sure I will tonight. He completely ignored what I said about feeling 'very far away from him'.... what he did say has just made me feel further away....

SarahSassy

Your explanation is not very clear... Who is in whose house and trying on whose clothes??? Why do you assume its a girl????

Dont reply by text. Its the best medium for causing confusion... Wait and if you have legit questions then ask him the next time you are talking to him.

jdivision

Could they be simply him and his mate. Sounds like the logical explanation

bronte

SarahSassy wrote: »

Your explanation is not very clear... Who is in whose house and trying on whose clothes??? Why do you assume its a girl????

Dont reply by text. Its the best medium for causing confusion... Wait and if you have legit questions then ask him the next time you are talking to him.

Agreed, you don't know enough now, ask him, it may be harmless.

LegacyUser

Sorry if my post was unclear.

My boyfriend and his friend share a house by themselves... they were over at another house last night (that's all I knew at the time of posting...I had no idea whose house it was earlier). I texted him, jokingly asking him who's the lucky person who gets his bed...
+ yeah it is a girl(A). My boyfriend's friend has started seeing a girl(B), so A+B are over at the house+ He's a gentleman to give it up for her. Sorted. Sort of.

I just felt a bit jealous I guess, as I had told him in the the first text that I've been feeling very far away from him lately and he ignored that in his reply+ told me about (and I correctly assumed) some girls trying on his clothes+ one sleeping in his bed. It made me feel rubbish to be honest!. He's not really open with his feelings about me/ if he misses me etc, so I've stopped feeling wanted by him. If you don't have intimacy in a LDR very often, it doesn't feel like much of a relationship. Hmm.

board om

jealousmaaaaybe wrote: »

I'm going out with a really cool guy, for about four months. We live quite far away from each other as I had to relocate so we might only get to see each other once every 1-2 months. Today I was finding things a bit hard and I texted him to tell him I was feeling very far away from him, the last few days but that I hoped he had a fun night (him+ his single friend went out last night and stayed at someone's house). When he replied after a few hours, he said the night was fun+ 'they' are over at his and his friends house (he never told me who 'they' were). He said they're dressing in his clothes+ it's going to be a another night sleeping on a chair. So I basically get from that, that they were hanging out with some people last night+ now there's at least one girl over trying on his clothes+ sleeping in his bed.

I really don't want to be a psycho girlfriend... as shur, it could be a couple sleeping in his bed or something!... I don't know. By asking him, I'm going to come across as being too controlling.I just hate being stupidly jealous over something, probably so small..... I just feel like saying, gosh that sounds like a great idea, I think I'll invite some guys around to wear my clothes and sleep in my bed. I do know his ex got very jealous if he flirted with other girls.... he said he's like that anyway, but is a very faithful person, so it really annoyed him. Has anyone any advice? thanks. I haven't replied to him yet and I'm not sure I will tonight. He completely ignored what I said about feeling 'very far away from him'.... what he did say has just made me feel further away....

im confused here. you are going out with eachother 4 months, but you only get to see eachother once every 1-2 months??? so does that mean you have only met eachother a few times or what?

im not being sarcy, it just if you meant 4 years or something like that then it wold be a completely differnt situation than 4 months, as there would be a lot more foundation etc.

LegacyUser

board om- the relocation thing was only recent+ we usually manage to talk to each other every day...

I just don't know if it's silly being jealous of a 'cool' (he said she was cool in a text) girl, hanging around for two nights in a row with my boyfriend, trying on his clothes and sleeping in his bed.

raemie21

Presumably he's at least in his late teens, early twenties yeah? And you're saying that they have fun swapping beds and dressing up in each other's clothes? Maybe it's just me but that sounds ridiculously immature.

SarahSassy

jealousmaaaaybe wrote: »

He's not really open with his feelings about me/ if he misses me etc, so I've stopped feeling wanted by him. If you don't have intimacy in a LDR very often, it doesn't feel like much of a relationship. Hmm.

This is the real problem. You dont know where you stand with him. LDR's are notorious hard even if the couple are 100% committed, open and confident in the relationship. The are a cause for huge uncertainty and heart-break if this is not the case....

You need to decide if this level of intimacy and emotional input is enough for you...

Just saw your second post and he is playing with your emotions and seems to want to make you jealous.... It good he is being open and telling you what he is doing but I do think this is a little suspicious... Dont think this girl is hanging around with her friend and 2 lads for the good of her health for 2 nights....