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Partners mam

  • 28-03-2008 8:43am
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    I am going out with my partner for over 3 yrs and his mother hates me, I dont know why.
    My partner has 2 kids with 2 different woman and he goes every second weekend to one of his kids in Wexford and stays with his mam so I have to say nothing much and get on with things, (he stays from sat morning till sunday evening)the problem is he will never stand up to his mother so WHAT DO I DO. I am also looking to get married and start a family but he says he doesnt want to get married and he already has 2 kids, we do live together but I want more.........

    Any suggestions....


Comments

  • #2
    Beruthiel
    Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 42,362 Mod ✭✭✭✭Beruthiel


    me and myself! wrote: »
    the problem is he will never stand up to his mother so WHAT DO I DO.

    There is nothing you can do. That decision must come from him.
    I am also looking to get married and start a family but he says he doesnt want to get married and he already has 2 kids

    And you think that if you hang around long enough, you'll make him change his mind?
    Do you think, that perhaps you're fooling yourself?
    If you have asked him about the future and he has told you he doesn't want anymore children, how come you are not taking him at his word?
    I have one daughter and made the decision not to have any more.
    When entering new relationships I told my then b/f very early in the relationship that I will not be having anymore children and if they do, then I'm not the one.
    I certainly would have been very angry if they thought that by staying with me they would change my mind.
    Perhaps you need to think about that, talk to your b/f and if he has made the decision to have no more children then it's time for you to find someone who does.


  • #3
    seahorse
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,164 ✭✭✭seahorse


    Could you explain a bit more about what the agro with his mother has involved? What sort of things has she said/done that made you so sure she "hates" you, and what happened to bring those things about?

    As for no more kids as far as he is concerned, I think you should just count yourself lucky he has been so honest and upfront with you about that. I know one woman who was strung along on a 'maybe' for eight years only to be told at the end of that time that he had never wanted kids but had just been humouring her! :eek:


  • #4
    biko
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 81,220 ✭✭✭✭biko


    me and myself! wrote: »
    I am also looking to get married and start a family but he says he doesnt want to get married and he already has 2 kids, we do live together but I want more.........
    It seems to me you somehow blame the mother for you bf nothing wanting to marry/have kids with you?

    If your bf does not match what you need you will have to consider breaking up and finding a man who wants what you want.


  • #5
    tbh
    Closed Accounts Posts: 15,914 ✭✭✭✭tbh


    if your boyfriend is closer to his mother, let him marry her. Don't waste your time, I'm not saying he's a bad guy, but he's told you what he wants and it's not what you want. So whats the point?


  • #6
    Miss Fluff
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,673 ✭✭✭Miss Fluff


    me and myself! wrote: »
    I am also looking to get married and start a family but he says he doesnt want to get married and he already has 2 kids, we do live together but I want more.........

    Any suggestions....

    My suggestion is to sit down and have a proper talk about this. If marriage and kids is what you really really want and he has made it perfectly clear that this is not what he wants then you need to consider whether you can stay with him and sacrifice your own wants and needs or whether it is now time to break loose and find someone who does. It is as simple as that really.


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  • #7
    gamer
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,227 ✭✭✭gamer


    its 2008,wake up smell the coffee, 2 kids, he goes away to see his kids ,he already has a family, i presume he has to pay child support,not to be rude unless
    hes rolling in cash, the last thing he needs is another child,the logical thing 2 do is to work on your relationship, if theres problems there a piece of paper from the government is not gonna improve em.the divorce ,separation rate is 50percent ,so marriage doesnt solve ALL problems.MAYBE go 4 counselling ,or start looking for a new man,respect his family, 2kids is the max for most people, you have to respect his descision,i dont want more kids,seems pretty logical to me ,the days of big familys ,ended when contraception was made avaidable in ireland.


  • #8
    SarahMc
    Closed Accounts Posts: 517 ✭✭✭SarahMc


    He has been honest with you. He does not want marriage and he does not want any more children.

    You have four choices:

    Hang around and hope he changes his mind (he probably won't).
    Sacrifice your dreams and carry on with the staus quo.
    Oops, accidently get pregnant, and hope that is enough for him to realise you are the woman of his dreams (worse possible option in this scenario).
    Move on.


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