How do i go about this

LegacyUser

Hi folks

long time reader second time posting.

il try and make this as short as possible.

I've suffered from depression in the past. Im threw that part of my life and things are looking up
for me in more ways then one. But Ive still got a few problems and i think if i can kill of these small demons id be a lot happyer then i am.

I'm a Chef, but my problem is im not confident in my self I am how ever confident in my abilitys as a chef. But not in my self, I dont stick up for my self enough and when i do people square up to me as a form of intimadation. But I'me mentelly stronger then them and know what there doing so i just stand there and let them make there move which useually involves
calling me a dick head and walking away. but that doesnt bother me its the snide comments that really get me. Bye the way that it should be known that

i just wanna become more asertive etc because asertive people tend to clime higher in life and i want that so does any one know of a course like that or would i have to go to see a counciler which wouldnt bother me eather
thanks for your time

Ps i suffer from dislexia so my spelling is not the greatist eather is my puntuataion so apoligys
if you find my spelling bad

Chinch

Ickle Magoo

Would you consider studying a martial art? It would boost your self confidence, certainly with regards to knowing you could look after yourself & that in itself would project onto your stance & attitude & put potential bullies off.

The other great thing for assertion or for learning how to hide your fears is drama - is there a group near you?

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

I think you're mixing up confident with assertive and aggressive.

The way you talk about squareing up to people makes me think of a pub closing-time brawl. Not sure this is what you mean, but it's the way you come across.

Confidence without agression is all in the body-language. Look people in the eye to show them you're serious, and smile to show you're not being hostile. Don't look them in the eye and frown, don't look at the floor. If you shake someone's hand, be firm.

People trying to make you look like a dickhead (if that's what's happening) is merely them recognising your strength and trying to lessen it. Ignore them, hold your head up high. Sounds like you've got a lot to be proud of - far more than you have to fear, anyway.

littlefriend

Not sure if you are based in Dublin but if you are maybe have a look
http://militaryfitness.ie/about.html
This might be a bit of a ridiculous suggestion but I noticed that one of the trainers 'holds a military qualification in confidence training' so I thought of your post.
Its talked about on this thread in the fitness forum http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055263241

Might be a bit of a fun at least - anyway just a suggestion. I worked in restaurants for years. Can be hard to handle the tempers and egos at times. Its good to be involved in something outside that industry to keep you sane!

LegacyUser

Ickle magoo.

thanks for your input .

I did Actuly star thi quando two years ago i did in enjoy i tbut i found it of an agressive nature which i did'nt enjoy. so i stopped he wante dme to spar and fight not somehting im really about. If that makes sence tho i did enjoy the trining thats invoilved in it.

I did speach in drama in the gaity and one thing its taught me is how to hide all my emotions as when your on stage in front of 200 people thats some real fear.

but i like the idea of going back to a martail art. I just have to find one im interested in.

Ikky poo2

thanks to you to .

what i ment is people try squaring up at me as a form of intimadation try to get me to back down and not stick up for my self.

I look people in the eye all the time ost people dont like it and allways glance away where i just dont i look people in the eye when im tlking to them unless its a girl then i look at there boobs just to anoy them but yeah i allways do that i think if you dont look people in the eye it shows your hideing soemthing.

well ya see im a pretty larger then life person i live a good life i snowboard 6 months of the year ive been to japan france canda etc. But like im allways happy with my self i dont hide anything and sometimes i feel people seem to think that im slightly iresponcable. People find it hard to excpet e becaus eim pretty happy i dont know how to have conversaitions with people and I never really know waht to talk about - same problem wiht girls unless i find a comon ground.

if that makes sence but I dunno i think a lot of people dont know how to except me if that makes sence ?

and thank you im very proud of my self but i know i need more people skills.

but thnaks for your input too. .

Little friend some of the heads ive worked with its like working in the military i dont htink i could stand that sort of thing id just get board and walk of but thank you for the sugestion.

so maybe i dont need an asertive course but people skills one ???

thanks for all the help so far.