Quickies....

rocky25

A man walks into chemist shop and asks;” where do you keep the tampons?”

Over by the cotton wool says the assistant?

The guy comes back to cash desk with cotton wool and toilet roll.

Thought you wanted tampons said the assistant.

The man replies; last night I sent my wife out for fags.

She came back with tobacco and a pack of rizla.

So tonight she can roll her own.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Irish girl returns home for first time in 5 yrs, her angry dad was cursing her and shouting; where have you been you never wrote or called your mums been worried sick.

Girl starts crying and said; I’ve become a prostitute.

”you what” Says the father
”out of here you harlot you sinner you are a disgrace to the family”.

”ok dad as you wish” said the girl.
”but first I want to give my mum a present of a mink coat and a bmw
for my brother I have gold Rolex
and for you daddy a Mercedes convertible a 10 bedroom mansion and £5m”.


”what did you say you have become”? Asks dad
still crying the girl says “a prostitute daddy”.

”Oh be Jesus dad says you scared me half to death there
I thought you said a protestant come here and give your old man a hug”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I had someone knock on my door yesterday; they asked what type of bread I ate.

I said “white”.

They said “no no you must eat brown it’s really good for you”.

I said “no I eat white”.

They were there for ages trying to get me to eat brown bread.

Bloody Hovis Witnesses:rolleyes:

galwayrush

I like:D

fizzynicenice

second one is bleedin gas:pac: