It Hurts.

LegacyUser

My life, i just feel ****. **** about everything. I don't know what to do.
I feel **** about my life, about my ex, about my inability to get another girlfriend, about not having any proper mates, about the thought of being lonely and single all my life.
I feel alone, i feel tired. I'm tired of speaking about how **** my life is. I'm tired of trying to make things better and seeing me fail everytime. I'm tired of not being accepted and being disliked.
Truth is, i'm not over my ex. I'm not. I still think of her a lot. But i don't speak about it cuz i'm scared of sounding stupid or monotonous. Well, i am even sick of speaking about her. But i know i'm not over her and i'm sick of feeling this way for this long. I wanna be able to completely forget her. I've herd it all, i've tried it all, i'm still what i am. It really hasn't helped me much. I need to forget my ex, i need to live like she never came to my life. I can't see that happening. It still hurts. I might have had managed to heal the wounds but they left a huge scar which i doubt will ever disappear. It hurts and i need help.
I'm sorry for being thick and a moron.

How Strange

hurt99, unfortunately there are no quick fixes or timelines to getting over someone. It just happens. One day you'll realise you've thought about her less or you don't feel as hurt and sad when you think about her.

I think we've all gone through this at some stage; we've had the breakup that just won't heal and it's frustrating because your head is screaming 'get over it for f*ck sake' and your heart is still whimpering like a little lost puppy.

My only advice is get out there and start living again Do things that make you happy or happier than you are when you're sitting around mopping about the ex.

When you consciously start living in the here and now again you will then start to heal. The worst thing for a broken heart is sitting around feeling sorry for yourself. Hmm, wish I'd taken my own advice in the past. :rolleyes:

Colonel_McCoy

I know how u feel, I am still there. The only thing I can advise is try to sat busy, keep your mind focused and occupied. Plan a holiday or something.

Talk to your friends how you feel, take comfort in them, they want to help.

karry1412

I completely agree with Colonel McCoy. Talk to your friends. They will want to help you & they've probably been in the same situation in the past.

estar

listen everyone has been there, at one point or another not
to trivialise your pain.

everyone has asked themselves the question, why cant i move on
and surprised themselves that they hanker after someone that
they feel they should have let go a long time ago

beating yourself up and being negative about everything in your life
is only going to make you more negative and drive people away from you

i know its a struggle, but if you are in a deep dark hole, you are
digging it deeper by focusing on negative aspects of yourself.

start saying positive things to yourself, and start seeing the reality
of what your ex was like. stop canonisng her / him.

he/she must have had some good qualities but also some bad qualities.

there are some really good breakup websites that my friends have
used recently. i think one is called soyouhavebeendumped.com

there you can see how many people are just like you, feeling
just like you are, and also how others have gotten over it,

then you can express yourself there, and try and be more positive
around the people in your day to day life.

if you send out positive energy you usually get good feedback.

if you are walking around under a thunder cloud you are going to drive people away

Louisecon

It sounds to me that you are depressed. Breakups are horrible, but you seem to believe that your entire life is a failure. Unless you are writing from prison, you are not a failure (and even if you are in prison, there might still be hope for ya). It might help to get some counselling - not because you are a hopeless case, but because you need some structured support. Men friends of mine have done so and it has helped them greatly (I'm assuming you are male).

If you feel that you are not accepted or liked, you need to find a different group of people to identify with. There are some decent types out there. It makes an enormous difference to how you feel about yourself.

Thinking about your ex is pretty normal. But you are more important than her right now, no matter how much she meant.

It will work out. Take care.:cool:

seraphimvc

if ya have tried everything ,there is nothing you can do really.time is the only solution.

be a man,you take it up,you can put it down.time passed,you will smile for this when you look back.trust me,lots of us been throught this kinda stuff:)

good luck!enjoy the ride!

LegacyUser

Hi,
I think i was a little overwhelmed when i posted in this thread. Probably needed some sort of outlet or an instant effective answer. I can't say i have tried everything but i have tried a lot and its about a year since the break up, i still feel i love her. I still wish i could hold her in my arms and kiss her. Still have that soft spot for her, still think of her everyday, still feel for her, still hate her, still get reminded of her when i come across anything that even vaguely relates to her or see someone that looks like her, see someone that reminds me of her, worse when i try to see her in other random people!

Yeah, i've had enough of it all. I'm absolutely sick of it and i don't know how universal my problem is but i'm starting to hate myself for still being caught up in all her **** even after this long. I feel ashamed to speak to anyone about this. I feel i sound absolutely moronic and like a big loser. Actually even my friends don't wanna here me getting started on my ex anymore, they're sick of it too. So i end up keeping it all to myself. Don't think its a great idea but yeah, truth is i don't have anyone who's ready to listen to me anymore cuz i'm not over yet. That is the truth. I'm not over my ex, i don't have anyone left to speak to about it.

LegacyUser

Hi,

I'm 35 now. When I was 21 I broke up with a girl I'd been going out with for three years. At the time, I though she was the love of my life. I was absolutely devastated.

At 35 years old, I'm married, with a kid on the way. ( )

I still carry a bruise around with me after that break up. I wish I'd had someone to advise me and help me out of the depression I fell into for years afterwards.

The WORST thing I did at the time was to agree to meet her several times after we broke up.

I lost all trust and all regard for women after that break up, and this lasted for about 4 or 5 years.

The only way to begin to feel better is to let your bitterness go. To realise that these experiences are simply life. We assume that there should be a logic or a reason for tragedies that occur in our lives, but the reality is that there isn't. We rationalise after the fact, but this is a mistake. The fact is that **** happens, and all we can do is act for our own happiness and that of the people we love as much as possible.

Life is very very short. Time is precious. YOUR time is precious.

It seems that you shouldn't begin to live and enjoy life until you no longer feel bad. In fact, counter-intuitively, the reality is the opposite. You have to live and enjoy life to stop feeling bad. Initially it might feel like you're not being true to yourself, but soon, if you keep at it, you'll begin to feel better. You'll start to see the good in women again, and will meet someone great for you again.

Chin up! There is hope. You can control your life, and you can decide that you won't be dominated by your sorrow. Don't let this pain direct your life and stop you from enjoying your twenties.

I hope this helps...