Nasty Descriptions/Expressions (sick)

Don1

So, just thought a collection of rather interesting descriptions/expressions might go down well. You know the kind that pop up in ladish banter.

I'll start with this:

Mudbutt - the result of an unsuccessful separation of a less than solid defication. Cleanup operation first requires a scooping sequence before any wiping can take place.

"Jaysis lads I'd an awful dose of mudbutt there"

John Mason

Sweating like a rapist

Sweating like a paedo in a barney suit

kev_s88

sweating like a whore in mass

sweating like a pedo in a playground



this one is not one of mine and is pretty nasty:

if shes old enough to bleed shes bleedin' old enough for me"

WindSock

'like a damp terrier eating a kebab' = badly groomed fanny

Don1

"Jaysis I'm so hungry I'd eat the scabs off a nackers sack."

TheBlackThing

kev_s88 wrote: »

sweating like a whore in mass

sweating like a pedo in a playground



this one is not one of mine and is pretty nasty:

if shes old enough to bleed shes bleedin' old enough for me"

If there's grass on the pitch..... PLAY BALL
:D:D:D:D

Don1

TheBlackThing wrote: »

If there's grass on the pitch..... PLAY BALL
:D:D:D:D

And if there isn't, flip her over and play in the muck! :eek:

trout

referring to drunks or alcoholics ... pa trout would say "that fella would drink pus from an open wound".

the "sweatin' like a ... " reminded me of this old one ... in very bad taste

Sweatin' like Jill Dando looking for her front door key

TheBlackThing

Its like putting a rats tail into a barrel of water

Used to descibe a female who's been "around" quite a bit..

LimerickCity

Afraid to fart in case i **** in my pants.

TheBlackThing

Or, she'd suck a golf ball through a garden hose!

Don1

She'd suck the chrome off a spanner.

TheBlackThing

She's got nipples like Scania wheel nuts!

LimerickCity

She's got nipples like monkeys fingers.
She's got nipples like fag butts.

TheBlackThing

You could hang wet duffel coats off those nipples

trout

nipples like JCB starter buttons
nipples like a fighter pilot's thumbs

and my particular favourite, handed down by pa trout ... nipples like a pygmy's cock :cool:

LimerickCity

I wouldnt get up on her to get over a wall.

I'f i'd a bag of mickey's i wouldnt give her wan.
I'f i'd a bag of mickeys i wouldnt even let her look into the bag.

She's a head like a bag of chisels.

Don1

Chef's Arse: suffered mainly by chefs and those in the catering/service industry. After long shift the red raw and stinging chaffing between the arse cheeks. Only cure is Sudocream, or neat tea tree oil if you have a high pain threshold!

Slow Motion

She could suck start a leaf blower!

Don1

She has a face on her like a buldog that just liked piss off a nettle,
She has a face on her that'd run rats from a dump.

TheBlackThing

You'd want to put a bag over her head before you'd give her one...


And a bag over yours incase hers fell off

LimerickCity

I've seen better legs in a snack box.

Slow Motion

She was so ugly a sniper wouldn't take her out

She was so ugly the tide wouldn't take her out

ShayK1

Breast Box: Tit ****
Junior Box: the less said the better....

TheBlackThing

used to insult a little weed of a lad who's stating an arguement with you

I've seen bigger hands on a clock!

rstans

She has a face like a well slapped arse.

Slow Motion

Her skirt was so short you could see her lunch!:p

ShayK1

Slow Motion wrote: »

Her skirt was so short you could see her lunch!:p

best one yet!!

LimerickCity

I'd suck the farts out of her arse.

TheBlackThing

I'd walk over a thousand miles of burning coal just to w@nk in her shaddow

Don1

I'd crawl naked across a field of broken glass to w*nk in her shadow!

kev_s88

i wouldnt ride her into battle

if theres fluff on the muff, shes old enough

LimerickCity

Doing her would be like throwing sausages up O'Connell Street.

trout

I'd crawl bollick nekkid over a mile of broken glass just to push match-sticks in her sh1te :cool:

orestes

kev_s88 wrote: »

if theres fluff on the muff, shes old enough

Worst one of those I've ever heard

If it doesn't stretch, it'll tear

Don1

Orestes, that takes the biscuit. Mankness of a whole new degree!

LimerickCity

I'd eat her sh*t

Dub6Kevin

If she had pedals I wouldn't ride her.

A tractor wouldn't shift her.

TheBlackThing

trout wrote: »

I'd crawl bollick nekkid over a mile of broken glass just to push match-sticks in her sh1te :cool:

Genuine lol

trout

orestes wrote: »

Worst one of those I've ever heard

If it doesn't stretch, it'll tear

Oh sweet jebus :eek: Lolocaust is that-a-way ---->

TheBlackThing

Des Kelly wouldn't lay her

_blank_

TheBlackThing wrote: »

Des Kelly wouldn't lay her

But DesF would... :pac:

kev_s88

my mate always uses this one......


if shes in a nappy, (mates name) is happy

LimerickCity

If she's old enough to bleed she's old enough to butcher.

LimerickCity

Chat up line.

"Did you ever get your sh*t pushed?"

TheBlackThing

How would you like to mother another b@stard...

Don1

LimerickCity wrote: »

Chat up line.

"Did you ever get your sh*t pushed?"

Heard this way: In a bar, walk up to wimmins on a bar stool and try to go by and say, "sorry, do you mind if I push your stool in" :D:D

neacy69

[Chatup line] Fancy going halves on a bastard?

Don1

here, do you wanna go halvsies on a bastard?

or, how's your belly for a lodger?

LimerickCity

"DO YOU LIKE FRUIT?"

"Well suck my cock, it's a peach"

kev_s88

Don1 wrote: »

here, do you wanna go halvsies on a bastard?

or, how's your belly for a lodger?

hahaha excellent