my past may have caught up with me

confused-dazed

hi all i really need help on this one.
recently i started working in a shop in a shopping centre and while on my break i went into one of the shops.
this is where my problem is.
A long time ago i was sexually abused as an early teenager, i reported this to the guards when i was in my twenties but nothing was done about it. i think the person that did that to me now works in that shop i went into. i'm 93% it's the same person. but dont know what to do about it.i've thought about going to my local garda stn to see if they can find out this persons name and address as these are the only two things i know about this person, as i said i'm only 93% sure but need to be 100%.
any ideas would be help full.

seamus

My only recommendation is a little bit of social engineering. Go into the shop, queue at a till that the person's not working at, and ask the person at the till, "Is that guy's name X". Make light of it, say that he looks like someone you used to know, but you're not sure if you should go up and say "Hi".

Mazeire

Ok. You saidf in your post that you had previously reported this and nothing had been done about it. Why was tthis? Was ot due to lack of evidence or did you withdraw the complaint? The Gardai will not give out ID information to someone who walks in off the road and demands it? Why do you want that? What would you do with it if you had it?
I would just avoid the shop like the plague from now on.

board om

confused-dazed wrote: »

hi all i really need help on this one.
recently i started working in a shop in a shopping centre and while on my break i went into one of the shops.
this is where my problem is.
A long time ago i was sexually abused as an early teenager, i reported this to the guards when i was in my twenties but nothing was done about it. i think the person that did that to me now works in that shop i went into. i'm 93% it's the same person. but dont know what to do about it.i've thought about going to my local garda stn to see if they can find out this persons name and address as these are the only two things i know about this person, as i said i'm only 93% sure but need to be 100%.
any ideas would be help full.

hello there,

firstly i am sorry to hear about what happened to you. i can never understand what kind of animal it takes to abuse someone.

if i am reading correctly you know the attackers name? well you could ask someone to call the shop where you think he works and ask for him by name, even just the first name. then you will know if it is him.

you could go to the guards and explain the situation. things gave changed in the lasst few years and they take these things pretty seriously nowadays. they would most likely understand and offer some assistance. you might be best to speak to a female garda as apart from making you feel more comfortable to speak to, she might sympatise with you that bit more and might give you that extra bit of "assistance" that they wouldnt normally be able to give.

i hope this helps.

all the best

confused-dazed

i know their first name only and where they used to or maybe they still live.
to me they took advantage of someone vunerable/not street wise.
craziest part of all this is i'm a male.
i never withdrew any of the complaint i made, i also never heard anything about this afterwards

crotalus667

confused-dazed wrote: »

i know their first name only and where they used to or maybe they still live.
to me they took advantage of someone vunerable/not street wise.
craziest part of all this is i'm a male.
i never withdrew any of the complaint i made, i also never heard anything about this afterwards

Im not trying to be bad or anything I know what happened to you is f'ed up , but you need to forget about , ok get counsling and so forth but forget about trying to find out if this person is the some person that abused you , what are you going to do if it is ?? quit your job ?? try and get them fired ?? if you need to get closure get clousure by all means but try not to ruin the life you have built over it ,if you rely deeply want/need to confront this person then go for it (if it is the person indeed), if the gaurds droped it the first time I doubt they will do anything this time,

Ps there are ton's of ways to get closure you dont need to do an eastender's style confrontaition (man my spelling is bad) you could write them a letter ask them why they did what they did , there are groups that can meadate

Before you do anything , talk to someone try the rape crises centre they deal with all levels of abuse , what ever you decide to do I wish you good luck and remember it was their fault not your’s that’s why they are called the abuser

LouOB

As your complain was not 'handled' by the powers that be -garda.
If you found this person working in the shop is the person you think he is - would you consider civil action? Least this person will NOT have a chance to do this to someone else.
Just forgetting about this and doing nothing will allow this individual a chance to prey on other innocents like yourself. BIG smack on back for courage in letting siochana know - for all the good it did, more is the pity.

punchestown

confused-dazed wrote: »

hi all i really need help on this one.
recently i started working in a shop in a shopping centre and while on my break i went into one of the shops.
this is where my problem is.
A long time ago i was sexually abused as an early teenager, i reported this to the guards when i was in my twenties but nothing was done about it. i think the person that did that to me now works in that shop i went into. i'm 93% it's the same person. but dont know what to do about it.i've thought about going to my local garda stn to see if they can find out this persons name and address as these are the only two things i know about this person, as i said i'm only 93% sure but need to be 100%.
any ideas would be help full.

ring the shop. ask to speak to x. They can either confirm x is working there or no person called x works there.

joeybloggs

crotalus667 wrote: »

Im not trying to be bad or anything I know what happened to you is f'ed up , but you need to forget about , ok get counsling and so forth but forget about trying to find out if this person is the some person that abused you , what are you going to do if it is ?? quit your job ?? try and get them fired ??

I completely disagree.
There is no logic in having rules if there’s no punishment for breaking them.
Don’t just forget about it! If not for you, then do it for the others in this country who have also been abused and their persecutors have gotten away scot free.
If this turns out to be the person then please, fight. Fight not just because you have the opportunity to fight, but because others didn’t. I’m not saying that it won’t be complex and draining on you, because it will be. At least you’ll know you tried.
Yes, counselling will for the most part help you, but pursuing this person will help reduce this situation happening again with others.

Miss Fluff

Getting their name is very straightforward, call the shop or ask a colleague if "Mr. X" works there. Then it is up to you what you choose to do with the information OP. I am not quite sure as to why your complaint was never investigated/taken further. To whom did you report it?

Edit, I see it was to the police. Was this followed up?

Canis Lupus

What are you planning on doing if you think it's the same person.....

TripleAce

1. Make sure it's him
2. Make sure you are not mistaken.
3. Double check again that it is really him.
4. Triple check that it is really him.
5. After point 1 to 4 above are satisfied get somebody to beat the holy hell out of him and cut his balls off.
6. Greet him in the morning.

RedXIV

TripleAce wrote: »

1. Make sure it's him
2. Make sure you are not mistaken.
3. Double check again that it is really him.
4. Triple check that it is really him.
5. After point 1 to 4 above are satisfied get somebody to beat the holy hell out of him and cut his balls off.
6. Greet him in the morning.

stunningly direct charm to that plan

Beruthiel

TripleAce wrote: »

get somebody to beat the holy hell out of him and cut his balls off

Banned.
B

r3nu4l

confused-dazed wrote: »

craziest part of all this is i'm a male.

There's nothing crazy about this at all. Thousands of young lads have been abused over the years by men and women. It's a sad reality.You shouldn't just let this go. Who's to say tht this person isn't still abusing young people? By all means get some councelling to help you cope with the abuse in your own past but don't just let this go if you can help it and perhaps prevent someone else suffering the same or worse fate.

Well, the others have told you how to confirm if this person is who you think it is. The next step is to go to the gardaí again and say that you want to follow up on your original complaint and you now know where this person works.

If you feel you aren't getting satisfaction ask to speak to a sergeant or superintendent. If that doesn't work then complain to the Garda Ombudsman. Another option would be to hire a solicitor and ask them to contact the gardaí on your behalf.

Best of luck and stay strong.

cathy01

agree with other poster.This person is a predator.He is a risk to all children, and he needs to be reported.
ring the shop , ask is "JOhn" or what ever there.If he answers or your told to hold on then take it it could be him.Let the garda do their job.Report him , give them the name of the shop.Tell them you think this is the man that hurt you. If you can , get help with this.I think 1 in 4 or the rape crisis centre could help.I could be wrong.
Please please do this.He could do it again.Go to the Garda.
thanks for been so brave .
cathy