Fear of Commitment

LegacyUser

It doesn't really bother me too much I'm more curious about it...

When I'm going out with a girl and it starts turning into a serious relationship I head for the hills... In most cases I really like the girl but I get a little freaked out or something and start avoiding them (climbed out the window of a pub toilet before).

I don't know why I do it, maybe someone here might have an idea!

Cheers.

kev_s88

not really anything i can say to that apart from just try it for once.

im the complete opposite you see.i always attract girls who are commitment shy.but the one girl i did get to try it out ended up being my GF for a good while.

just give it a shot and see how it goes.

ashy28

Whats the worst that can happen if you do give it a go with someone. I mean you have to ask yourself what are you so scared of. Women are not that scarey:D. You might even find us fun if you gave us a chance:).

DubLegs

Has anything happened before that makes you like this? Like parents splitting up or got your heart broke before.

I was with a guy who after 2 & half years broke up with me for the same thing, saw his friends settling down and ran for the hills. Turned out he was afraid he was of commitment. Still friends with the guy and his parents splitting seemed to be the reason.

LegacyUser

I've never been heart broken, parents relationship is strong these day although that was far from the case a few years ago. I've never been heart broken so it really confuses the hell outa me.

I did pretty well with my last gf, managed 4 months out of that before the pub window incident lol... 4 months is pretty crap though, I suppose the only thing I can try and try again! I'd say when the right person comes along it will alleviate fears of getting too close to someone.

Fingers crossed anyway because its getting a bit repetitiveT

Thanks

kev_s88

AnyIdeas? wrote: »

I've never been heart broken, parents relationship is strong these day although that was far from the case a few years ago. I've never been heart broken so it really confuses the hell outa me.

I did pretty well with my last gf, managed 4 months out of that before the pub window incident lol... 4 months is pretty crap though, I suppose the only thing I can try and try again! I'd say when the right person comes along it will alleviate fears of getting too close to someone.

Fingers crossed anyway because its getting a bit repetitiveT

Thanks

the longest ive ever lasted with a girl was 2 months so you're not doing too bad.just ask yourself how much its hurting them when you run.... and do you really want to hurt them like that??

RedXIV

i know a couple of guys who live for the fun single life, with no responsibilties to anyone bar themselves. I like the idea of relationships myself. tis a nice thought to have someone who is obligated to be nice to ya all the time but i can't seem to find a woman to agree with me.

Maybe the extra responsibilty is what is throwing you off? still trying to retain as much freedom as possible?

LegacyUser

I'm exactly the same as you!
Don't know what it is, but if things get even slightly serioues, i run a mile!



It's not nice:( No advice for ya, if i did i'd be using it myself!


G'luck

mydarkstar

I used to be friends with a guy who loved committment, was always anxious to commit himself to the relationship after only a couple of weeks. He never had any short-term girlf's in the 10years I knew him. However, he always ended all his relationships when they got to 2 years (give or take a month). We went out together many years ago too, and he broke up with me 1week after our 2year anniversary. I ran into him recently and he's with his current girlf close to the 2year mark now... bet she's getting nervous

Villaricos

Committment phobic guy just finished it with me. Can be very hurtful to the one your with.

Its just a fear and the best thing you can do is really think about why your so scared. Is that you dont want to be vunerable? That you dont let anyone close to you? That slightly rough patch with your parents?

These are just suggestions, I cant know, no one can but you. But mull it all over in your head, or talk it out with someone. May not just work out for the best with the right girl you know, this guy and I had an amazing connection, it was something so special, we both said it was but his fear ruined it. Dont be that guy, for your own sake.

estar

what did you feel in the moments leading up to and after
climbing out of the window

AARRRGH

Do you also lose sexual interest in the girl, or is it just you want to be free again?