Breaking up with someone for no reason.

LegacyUser

Have been seeing a girl for about 3 weeks. Spending a lot of time together get on great, we're always texting, she's really nice, treats me very well etc.

But to be honest I want to be single again. I know she's gonna be suprised and a bit upset that after making such a connection I'm gonna just give her the road after only 3 weeks. And I feel real guilty doing it. I don't really know how to go about breaking it off with her and feel like an ahole, I've been giving off the impression I like her a lot more than I actually do. The only time i've broken up with people in the past is when I've had good reason to. She really likes me and I enjoy spending time with her, she doesn't deserve to get dumped at all.

Wibbs

John_Book wrote: »

Have been seeing a girl for about 3 weeks. Spending a lot of time together get on great, we're always texting, she's really nice, treats me very well etc.

But to be honest I want to be single again.

Is it that or are you simply not attracted enough to her?

I know she's gonna be suprised and a bit upset that after making such a connection I'm gonna just give her the road after only 3 weeks.

Better no than 3 months TBH.

And I feel real guilty doing it. I don't really know how to go about breaking it off with her and feel like an ahole, I've been giving off the impression I like her a lot more than I actually do.

Why? If it was to get your end away, not so good. If it was down to fear of actually expressing what you feel, that's worse.

The only time i've broken up with people in the past is when I've had good reason to. She really likes me and I enjoy spending time with her, she doesn't deserve to get dumped at all.

Well you can look at it this way; she deserves to be with someone that's honest with her and open with her and returns her feelings. You dumping her gives her that chance as you're not the man for that particular job. Tell her straight that you want to be single. Do not give her the lets be friends speech. Cut contact with her and let her go. She'll be hurt, but the quicker you let her go the quicker she'll bounce back. Plus it's possible that she's being less than forthcoming with the truth herself and she may not be that upset.

jellie

if you dont want to be with her youre better off telling her now than dragging it out. you havent been together too long so she'll get over it quicker than if you leave it for longer.

Teddi

yea, the above post sums it up well, i mean only after 3 weeks?

god knows what was going through your mind to start going out with her in the first place, never heard of someones opinion of their g/f changing so quickly...but anyway....there is no easy way of breaking up with someone..

its like a band-aid, taking it off quickly wont hurt "as" much, best to get it done and over with and not drag it on like sar84 said...

g'luck

teddi.

RedXIV

3 weeks is nothing major mate, tell her straight and let her go. and DON'T DO THE LETS BE FRIENDS SPEECH! worst thing ever created

Xavi6

Breaking up with someone for no reason.

John_Book wrote: »

But to be honest I want to be single again.

Isn't that your reason?

kittensoft1984

why give her the "impression" you like her if you really dont?

kev_s88

ah i know how ya feel mate.same thing happened to me a few months ago.

just tell her straight out because otherwise its gonna drag on and you will end up resenting her if you're not happy.

btw is your name in relation to the film "Witness"

biko

Just don't go calling around again in 2 weeks when you're drunk making her all confused. If you break up then stay away.

Aurora Borealis

+ 1000000

A really horrible thing to do to someone especially when you know for certain how she feels about you.

In response to original post it's not for no reason if you don't want to be in a relationship. But don't just try to downgrade what ye have. She wants more than you and unless you're both singing from the same hymn sheet you can't have any relationship in my opinion. Tried and tested and I won't be buying the t-shirt. It's hard when you do like the person but has to be done if you want different things.

LegacyUser

More or less because I'm not attracted enough to her to particularly want her as a girlfriend. She is nice looking and a really nice girl but doesn't really rev my engine enough. To be honest I'm probably a nice bit out of her league lookswise.

Originally I started spending time with her because I enjoyed spending time with her, enjoyed watching movies, getting my end away, having someone to text etc. And I have started to develop feelings for her, she's a sweetheart.

But now it's obvious she thinks it's something it's not, and I'd say she thinks she's really hit the jackpot with me. But we're really not singing from the same hyme sheet at all.


And to the guy who asked was my name in relation to the movie witness. Well spotted!!

JuliusCaesar

John_Book wrote: »

To be honest I'm probably a nice bit out of her league lookswise.

And I have started to develop feelings for her, she's a sweetheart.

and I'd say she thinks she's really hit the jackpot with me. !

Hmm.....you like her, you have feelings for her, but you don't want to be seen in public with her because she's not good-looking enough for you - is my interpretation of the above. What age are you, 16?

Placebo

John_Book wrote: »

and I'd say she thinks she's really hit the jackpot with me. !

really up yourself arnt you?

JDLK

John_Book wrote: »

To be honest I'm probably a nice bit out of her league lookswise.

Best to leave the serious relationships until you're out of puberty

Wibbs

So just that I can get this clear in my head. You get on great. She's apparently into you and she's out of your league? Ehhhh, why do you want to be single? Maybe I'm missing something here. Ok you're not that into her but why, given what you've written. I'm actually interested to know.

Wibbs

Wibbs wrote: »

So just that I can get this clear in my head. You get on great. She's apparently into you and she's out of your league? Ehhhh, why do you want to be single? Maybe I'm missing something here. Ok you're not that into her but why, given what you've written. I'm actually interested to know.

apparently he is out of her league, from what he is saying

i would second to the op to leave the relationships alone til he grows up

LadyJ

OP, not wanting to be in a relationship with someone is reason enough to dump them.
They may be the best person in the world but if you don't want to go out with them anymore then that's kind of a fundamental break-up reason.

Ickle Magoo

I think you should let her down gently & find someone who does rev your engine...maybe someone in your own league...

I have to ask tho, if you are out of her league, why did you even have to get involved? Surely the lurvly ladies are beating a path to your door? :pac:

Overheal

John_Book wrote: »

More or less because I'm not attracted enough to her to particularly want her as a girlfriend. She is nice looking and a really nice girl but doesn't really rev my engine enough. To be honest I'm probably a nice bit out of her league lookswise.

Originally I started spending time with her because I enjoyed spending time with her, enjoyed watching movies, getting my end away, having someone to text etc. And I have started to develop feelings for her, she's a sweetheart.

But now it's obvious she thinks it's something it's not, and I'd say she thinks she's really hit the jackpot with me. But we're really not singing from the same hyme sheet at all.


And to the guy who asked was my name in relation to the movie witness. Well spotted!!

how old are you? Are you sure you picked the right character out of that movie?

Either way. Call it off. Stop the texting and the movies and the dating if thats how you really feel.

talullah

John_Book wrote: »

I've been giving off the impression I like her a lot more than I actually do.

why did lead her on if your not that serious about her?

it's best to end it now than dragging it out any longer....she may feel hurt and that but she'd feel alot worse if it was 3 months....just get it over and done with for her sake.

IrishMike

John_Book wrote: »

To be honest I'm probably a nice bit out of her league lookswise.

she thinks she's really hit the jackpot with me

...... not sure if i can actually say what im thinking for fear of being banned :rolleyes:
Stop doing the girl such a big favour by allowing her to be seen with you and break up with her.
You can do much much better than simply someone who is "a sweetheart"! :rolleyes:
Happy trails

LegacyUser

oh my god you are so up your own ass!!!

this girl needs to get away from you fast. put her out of her misery now.
you need to cop on to yourself, you ain't the be all and end all. Don't be so bloody mean and stop dragging this out!

funky_monkey

put that girl out of her misery and cop on to yourself buddy!

you're getting no sympathy from here anyway.

"hit the jackpot"?? DOWN WITH THAT SORT OF THING

Irishcrx

I think you should break up her yourself first, then allow your ego to break up with her aswell cause it's obviosly gotten so big it has it's own personality.

Seriously do her a favour and break up with her , beauty is only skin deep just realise that just because you think your great does not mean that you are.

patrickolee

Just tell her that you are really looking a relationship with yourself and don't have time to be seeing other people right at the moment.

seahorse

patrickolee wrote: »

Just tell her that you are really looking a relationship with yourself and don't have time to be seeing other people right at the moment.

LOL that really made me laugh!

OP I can see why some posters would feel inclined to berate you here because you do indeed sound a bit 'up your own ass' as one poster put it, lol, but anyway, the situation you are in is one you need to put a stop to immediatly imo. I know that people are seeing this situation from the girls perspective and I can see why, but there is a flip side to that coin:

I know a man who, years ago, got himself in a relationship with a woman because she pursued him, obviously adored him, and was someone he considered a very nice person. He didn't have the heart to hurt her and the relationship progressed to the point where she was proposing marriage; he considered laying his cards on the table then but bottled out and agreed to marry her. After they'd gotten engaged, but before the wedding plans were finalised, he eventually came clean and told her he couldnt marry her and broke up with her. Needless to say she was devastated, and all because he wasn't honest from the off.

The reason he didn't want to marry her was the same reason he hadn't exactly dived into the relationship in the first place; he just didn't fancy her. My point is; attraction is important and cannot be manufactured, so OP, you really would be doing right by all concerned to just end this now.

Ciara2008

Hmmm. Honestly, I think this might be one of the best things that ever happens this girl.