am i wrong??

sharkie2008

ok so I have an arguement with the boyfriend and I'm just wondering if I'm in the wrong with this.

basically I had to go to GP to get something checked out, was told the problem was most likely thrush but would have to be tested to be sure. it was suggested to me i should get tested for STIs as i have never been tested before. took this advice and results came back all clear this morning.

having to get an STI test has got me thinking. i have been with my boyfriend for 3 years and at first we used condoms but once i went on the pill we stopped using condoms. we never really talked about this, just kinda went on the pill and that was that. so talking to my boyfriend i passed a comment about how we never really talked about our past and i think this was stupid. what i mean is i don't know how careful he was with previous partners and likewise him with me, with regards to STIs. at this he got really p*ssed off with me, telling me it isnt really any of my business, how dare i ask him about it etc

i wasn't accusing him of giving me anything, i was simply pointing out that it was stupid of us not to have talked about it more when i went on the pill as we didn't really know how careful we each were in the past. so we ended up arguing and i'm so annoyed at his attitude towards it. am i wrong to be?? he doesn't think its any of my business but if either of us had anything it would affect both of us and the likes of chlamydia don't always show symptoms but can have serious consequences.

anyways i'm sorry for going on so long, i'm just looking for some points of view. i feel hes being a bit immature about this but maybe im wrong?? i just think we were stupid not to be a bit more careful with our health. any opinions would be much appreciated

andrewh5

The pill causes the incidence of thrush to increase so stop fretting. It doesn't menat that either you or your BF have anything else. Just ask your pharmacist for Canestan pessaries & cream and get your BF to rub a thin layer of cream around the glans of his penis. The pessaries are for yourself. Your BF will know if he has thrush because his penis head will itch like mad & get red, inflamed patches.

RedXIV

ummm for starters, if you got the clear and you've been with him for 3 years, that would suggest he's clean too no?

Some guys don't like to talk about their past, they might think that they haven't had enough "practice" or some even have the opposite, that they are worried that their girlfriend will be unimpressed by their antics with multiple women in the past.

I personally have no problem with it, but then again, i haven't taken offence from anything in years so i'm probably a lost cause . my first opinion would be that he's being a bit harsh though

John Mason

No you are not wrong, both you and your boyfriend should have been tested before you stopped using condoms regardless

a number of my ex's were requested to do this before we stopped with the condoms

sharkie2008

thanks for the replies. i just think its a little immature the way hes reacted. i havent accused him of anything. he just went off on one we i said we were stupid not to discuss it more which seems a little extreme to me. i can understand him not wanting to talk about his past, i'm the same but i do think something like an sti would affect both of us

irishbird that was the point i was trying to make to him, we should have taken more care with our health

Beruthiel

sharkie2008 wrote: »

we never really talked about this, just kinda went on the pill and that was that. so talking to my boyfriend i passed a comment about how we never really talked about our past and i think this was stupid.

Very silly indeed. That conversation should have happened before ye stopped using condoms.

what i mean is i don't know how careful he was with previous partners and likewise him with me, with regards to STIs. at this he got really p*ssed off with me, telling me it isnt really any of my business, how dare i ask him about it etc

That would ring alarm bells for me straight away. You don't need to know the finer details of his past, only if he had been extra careful and always used condoms.
Again, that conversation should have happened before now and ye should both have gotten tested before ye stopped using condoms.

bilbo79

well your clear so that indicates that he's clear, so the past does not need to be brought up, the time to do that was when you started having sex without condoms-too late now, leave it rest! your not wrong that you's where stupid but are wrong to be at him over it when all is clear and its ancient history.

Overheal

He doesnt need to get anal about his life story but it might be worth him getting tested just to drop the argument.

LegacyUser

He's being completely immature. Besides which you have every right to be curious about his past just as he has every right not to tell you. I'm very curious when it comes to a partners past and past relationships because it's a part of what has made them become who they are today and helps show who they may become tomorrow.

Storm_rages

hum.. just wondering does he feel like you are suggesting he is up to something or indeed maybe making a comment about his past life .. he is clearly a bit sensitive about the issue.. maybe just be careful about how you ask stuff about his life before you

sharkie2008

Storm_rages wrote: »

hum.. just wondering does he feel like you are suggesting he is up to something or indeed maybe making a comment about his past life .. he is clearly a bit sensitive about the issue.. maybe just be careful about how you ask stuff about his life before you

yeah i can see what your saying, perhaps he thought i was accusing him, i didnt mean it like that. was just an innocent comment on my part

bilbo i know what your saying as far as im concerned we are both clear so thats that. i wasnt getting at him about anything, i wasnt asking him about his past, as far as im concerned it doesnt matter now. i simply passed a comment that we were stupid about it at the time, i didnt expect an arguement and i wasnt even trying to discuss it in depth when i said it (does that make sense? lol)

Sangre

It is your business if he wants to have sex without a condom without you without a std test. End of.