Work-shy waster stepson

bettedavis

my almost stepson (partners son) has decided the world owes him a living and has walked out on his job for no reason other than he can't be arsed. Hasn't gone in in weeks and has now announced he's going to ask them for p45 and go on dole (living off us in the process) But i don't think he'll get the dole if he walked out on job and even if he does it will not be for six weeks. Am i right? What are you entitled to (apart from a kick up arse) if you walk out of a perfectly good job.

board om

he is entitled to a good slap in the head and a lesson in work ethic.

no really though, you have to be fired or made redundant to get the dole straight away. he will have to wait a mininum of 6 weeks. and becuase he didnt go to the dole as soon as he left his job they will hold that against him. for some reason they want people to come sponging straight away instead of job hunting first. i never did understand the idea behind that.

i could be wrong but it used to be the case that if you lived at home with your parents you got little or no dole. that may have changed in the last few years but it definilty used to be the way it worked. if you lived in the family home you were entitiled to very little.

watna

My friend left her job and was going to go on the dole but they don't make it easy to get. You have to fill in about 10 forms and if you've left your job it can take a good while to come in. She also said it was means tested so someone will come to your house. She lived with her parents but her dad was retired so she probably would have got it. If your stepson is living at home they'll use your and yuor partners salaries to means test. Luckily my friend got another job within three weeks but she did say they made it very difficult.

He could get jobseekers allownace but as far as I recall you have to go for jobs and interviews and prove that you didn't get the job to get that.

He needs a kick up the arse. We have a similar situation with a family member and he needs somoene to tell him how the real world works. He's turned jobs down because they have to work bank holidays and then sat at home for another few weeks sponging off other people. I think it's becoming more and more common as people are wealthier. You need to talk to your partner and get him/her to talk to him and let your stepson know you won't support him and he needs to pay you money for living at home - and enforce it.

board om

if you want to really put your foot down you can refuse to give the dole your salary details when they come to do the means test. i know i wouldnt appreciate having to give my salary details to a total stranger just so someone else can have a free ride. as far as i know if you dont agree to giving your salary details then he cant be means tested and he cant get any dole, or he will get the minimun amount. in other words you and your partner must both agree to give this information so that he can get means tested and if you dont he is screwed. that will teach him a lesson.

and if he asks why you wont do it you can explain that you dont feel like working and paying tax just so he can sit on his ass at home. in fact, i dont feel like paying tax just so he can sit on his ass at home either so tell him to sort himself out. i would at least like to think the tax i pay goes to something constructive, not to pay lazy muppets to quit perfectly good jobs just becuase they dont feel like working.

gggrrrrrrrr, i am in bad mood thinking about it now.

andrewh5

Kick the little fecker up the a$$ or out the door.

cronos

Send him to a career counselor. He needs to find a job he actually has some interest in.

Elessar

Is he living in your house? Or you in his (mothers)? If its the later, you have no right saying anything.

If it's your domain then yes you're the man of the house.

the_syco

Find a place called "An Obair". It helps people get jobs, but in a more friendly way than FAS.

All else fails, cut any allowance you give him. When he can't drink, he'll work

derry

Ease up its the norm for young to muck around especially if they are stuck in dead end jobs

There is often no rights and wrong only winners and losers and step dads are 99% the time big time losers if it comes to push come shove scenarios and often succeed not to lose to much if they look at the bigger picture and forget the rights and wrongs and concentrate on guarding their own corner and forget deciding other peoples futures

The social welfare will probably pay the kid something after 6 weeks and it will be means tested probably based on his mothers income or lack of
if he is lucky he will get the full whack ~180 euros but chances are it will be half that

Best as I know the facts unless he worked more than six months and did that work last year he wont get pay related for this year and this is not means tested and that goes down rapidly each three months until it runs out and then social welfare may or may not kick in

The dole nowadays I don't think wont always be very phased about a step fathers and his income as often he doesn't count if eneogh of a fuss is made as step fathers are in the edges of the story some class of stranger and even real fathers can even be blocked out with sufficient input from pro active mothers who take the sons or kids side as often lots of dads spend all the money in the pubs and supply nothing to the family and create a lot of the social problems so social welfare isn't from reports very father friendly and for the fathers who really try hard for the family they complain they are not included in any decisions with social welfare officers who often seem to all men father haters so don't be expecting any back up from those quarters they do what suits them and work in bizzare ways


As long as he not being a real lout and causing social problems with violence and drug dealing your problems are minor compared to lots of step fathers finding front doors forced open buy guys with balaclavas and sawn off shot guns chasing after the step son to take him out because he owe's a drug baron a mere 10 euros


The dole or social welfare is much more pro active and will require the young to do a course with FAS or job program whatever fairly pronto or cut of the dole as dead end jobber young cant earn good incomes and therefor cant pay good taxes so often this event leads to gainful employment that pays a lot better and work that is more interesting and the last thing society needs now is great working kids plugging in the hours doing dead end jobs as thats going to **** up society more than a few wayward youth faffing around a bit until they find some useful better paying slots in life and forcing kids to work for buttons will condemn the older retired generation to a miserable income in retirement as the country now needs the present youth to be earning serious sponduliks

as the new big social bomb going off with the top heavy old age population issues is each young person will have to support one old age pension person where in my time when I started working I only had to support 1/5 of a old age pension person (or put more simply there was five people to support each older person)

Looking at todays youth if they are not up the task then us rapidly getting older people might as well put our heads up the proverbial and kiss the proverbial good buy as we will stave like the Russian old age pensioners did when communism collapsed

When you look that kid and kids his age if heor they are not earning like 50k per annum in todays money buy the time he/they are thirty then your pension and every body else's will be a lot less

And mothers tend to back up the kids right or wrong so I wouldn't thread there for all the tea in China especially if I didn't own the house

In fact even if i owned the house it would be way to easy for me to find the partner took out a barring order and the scallywag kid would be living in the house with his mother and the story for the man of the house more bleak and would be getting stiffed for all the bills and worse maybe living in some rat infested rented flat in skid row

Even if your only renting the gaff if you got saving and a secure job you might stand to lose to pay out a lot of cash until the kid is past being a supportable age and the partner would have the right to be housed until he had reached those ages and with him deciding to go to college for for four years you might get stiffed for that period as well

Probably best to go to pub drink a few beers forget the whole problem and hopefully the kid will meet some girl get a job and buy a house if he has a good eneogh job or get a council house whatever and your problems will stop in a few years

If your really unlucky like my cousin a real stupid git he eventually had to let the mother to allow her sons girl friend to move in and then to have a a baby there and then this new couple they now wait for the council to supply a house and my cousin cant do squat as its impossible to throw out a family with smalll kid so he is trully BANJAXED and would have been cheaper and easier to have found a stray dog to shag instead
If he is lucky within a few years the council will supply a house to the new family resident in his house and he can go back to being a childless step father again
He rang me to ask my opinion and I said you idiot you are truly ****ed if you play your cards wrong so keep the big picture in mind don't lose the cool and try to get out the other end without losing the house like he did with the first wife who cleaned him out that time
Opinions for my cousin can be very costly experience and probably cheaper and better to avoid having opinions go with the flow avoid head to head rows whatever it takes as if the partner decided to eject him he will probably lose most everything

Some of the laziest gits I knew when I was young who didn't do a tap until 25 or thirty went on to be very successful and earn lots of money and pay lots of taxes and sometimes even ended up employing me so wait for it maybe your step son will be your new boss

now thats a real bad dream

Probably best to go to the pub make that shorts
aand think back to the good old days when Viking ruled the roost and it was simple eat drink and be merry for tommorow we wage war and die

and also bite the lip and sing
always look on the bright side of life ...

Your in the game you cant win and you will definitely lose and worse you cant get out of the game :eek:

and the risks for you to get you ass kicked are far bigger than the kids getting it

Your only best hope is to do everything possible to encourage him to join the army navy air force as the pay is very good and they train recruits to be mechanics truck drivers whatever and they get free food and lodging
and if you pull that off your a genius

Bribe even some army guys with a bottle of whiskey to call around and pep talk the kid whatever it takes

Failing that try the Guarda or Fire brigade or Ambulance where you get to whizz around with blue lights flashing saving peoples asses from death


you can try floating the apprentice idea but lots of kids wont touch that even though sparkys are making big bucks

If he says college your probably f***ed as the even though the fees are free your going to probably have to pay for the rest of the frilly bits but if your lucky he will just do a two year diploma course

If that doest work there inst much else except maybe he buys a guitar and busk's in Grafton street and gets discovered and becomes another Bono

and best not to kick that stray dog ass you never know when you might need its company


sorry the news is so bleak but I been hanging out in lots of houses flats hotel rooms pubs with lots of male friends on there second or third partner scenario crying into their beer and all I can see is most all men in Ireland are in a lose lose no matter which way they play there cards so the only trick seems to half work is be try to lose the least possible or cheaper still become a hermit

Derry

Elessar

derry wrote: »

Ease up its the norm for young to muck around especially if they are stuck in dead end jobs

There is often no rights and wrong only winners and losers and step dads are 99% the time big time losers if it comes to push come shove scenarios and often succeed not to lose to much if they look at the bigger picture and forget the rights and wrongs and concentrate on guarding their own corner and forget deciding other peoples futures

The social welfare will pay the kid something after 6 weeks and it will be means tested probably based on his mothers income or lack of
if he is lucky he will get the full whack 180 euros but chances are it will be half that

The dole nowadays wont always be phased about a step fathers and his income often doesn't count if eneogh of a fuss is made as step fathers are in the edges of the story some class of stranger and real fathers can even be blocked out with sufficient input from pro active mothers who take the sons or kids side as often lots of dads spend all the money in the pubs and supply nothing to the family


As long as he not being a real lout and causing social problems with violence and drug dealing your problems are minor compared to step fathers finding front doors forced open buy guys with balaclavas and sawn off shot guns chasing after the step son to take him out because he owe's a drug baron a mere 10 euros


The dole social welfare is much more pro active and will require the young to do a course with FAS fairly pronto or cut of the dole as dead end jobber young cant earn good incomes and therefor cant pay good taxes so often this event leads to gainful employment that pays a lot better and work that is more interesting and the last thing society needs now is great working kids plugging in the hours doing dead end jobs as thats going to **** up society more than a few wayward youth faffing around a bit until they find some useful better paying slots in life and forving kids to work for buttons will condem the older generation to a miserable income in retirement as we need the youth to be earning serious sponduliks as each young person will support one old person where in my time working I only had to support 1/5 of a old person (or put more simply there was five people to support each older person

And mothers tend to back up the kids right or wrong so I wouldn't thread there for all the tea in China especially if I didn't own the house

In fact even if i owned the house it would be way to easy for me to find the wife took out a barring order and the scallywag kid would be living in the house with his mother and i would be getting stiffed for all the bills and living in some rat infested flat in skid row

probably best to go to pub drink a few beers forget the whole problem and hopefully the kid will meet some girl get a job and buy a house if he has a good eneogh job or get a council house whatever and your problems will stop in a few years

If your really unlucky like my cousin a real stupid git he had to get the mother to allow her sons girl friend girl friend to move in and to have a a baby there and then they now wait for the council to supply a house and my cousin cant do squat as its impossible to throw out a family with smalll kid so he is trully BANJAXED and would have been cheaper and easier to have found a stray dog to shag instead
If he is lucky within a few years the counsil will supply a house to the new family resident in hi house and he can go back to being a childless step father again
he rang me to ask my opinion and I said you idiot you are trully ****ed if you play your cards wrong so keep the big piture in mind dont lose the cool and try to get out the other end without losing the house like he did with the first wife who cleaned him out that time

Some of the laziest gits I knew when I was young who didn't do a tap until 25 or thirty went on to be very successful and earn lots of money and pay lots of taxes and sometimes even ended up employing me so wait for it maybe your step son will be your new boss

now thats a real bad dream

Probably best to go to the pub make that shorts
bite the lip and sing
always look on the bright side of life ...

Your in the game you cant win and you will definitely lose and worse you cant get out of the game :eek:

and the risks for you to get you ass kicked are far bigger

Derry

Bitter much?

the GALL

He has a point but as far as alienating the I wouldn't ....you keep your friends close and your enemy's closer

cronos

the GALL wrote: »

He has a point but as far as alienating the I wouldn't ....you keep your friends close and your enemy's closer

You shouldnt be in the kid's life if you view him as an enemy by the way. But I am sure thats not what the OP is doing.

the GALL

cronos wrote: »

You shouldnt be in the kid's life if you view him as an enemy by the way. But I am sure thats not what the OP is doing.

The man has a problem with his stepson. It sounds like there's a confrontation on the horizon. If he doesn't play the neutral party then there could well be friction caused between him and his wifey/girlfriend. By his tone he doesn't hold the lad in high regards at the moment.In my opinion he should hold the lad in high respect wheather he thinks he's going on like an a**ehole or not, next year he may cop on and get his **** together but buy forceing the issue now he may alienate the lad(and wife) in the future.


I was speaking metaphorically(spell?) in no way was I implying that the lad was his enemy. When people are fighting/argueing it would be stupid not to find out what your opponent is thinking.
Dont pick up on the word opponent it's ment metaphorically.

OP..... sorry for talking above you if he jacks the job he''ll have trouble getting the dole unless his employer gives him a letter stating that he is surplus to requirement or words to that effect.
As far as being means tested that depends on the amount of stamps/contributions he has paid in the last tax year.

Moonbeam

What age is the stepson?