I need help

LegacyUser

Hi folks i am a regular poster but for what will become obvious reasons i am posting anonymously. To make a long story easier to read we have the players in the story as below

A=My girlfriend

C=Her mother

Now a and c have had their differences the last while but things have gotten really bad between them. I wont go into details as it is not my place to say. A practically lives with me because of this and c thinks this is MY fault and i am the reason a doesnt go "home" anymore. Nothing to do with the fact c is a serious alcoholic of course! Anyway c has a boyfriend who she regularly hits and as a matter of fact i heard c tried to stab him just a few nights ago!

Anyway a (my gf) was in mine the other night and c kept trying to ring, they had had a big row the night beforehand and c was trying to ring to get in the good books again (this is far from unusual) and a was having none of it. Then c sent various messages even threatening me saying she would have me killed. I laughed it off but like 30 mins later c arrives at my door and starts roaring the odds. My gf didnt wanna go near her so i went to my front door and told c where she could go as a didnt wanna see nor speak to her.

Now c starts roaring at me like i had my gf tied up inside and proceeds to hit,slap and punch me repeatedly about the face. Now i do some doorwork (bouncing) in my spare time so i can well handle this but i did nothing as after the first hit i raised my hands and she started screamin i had hit HER! Now even my gf saw her hittin me and i took pictures as proof in case i decided to go legal with it.

I think i needed to vent a bit but please give opinions also, Thanks

StandnDeliver

Go to the cops and report it,you dont have to have her charged but at least you can make a statement/complaint and there is a record of her behaviour.
Show them the threatening text messages.This would be classed as some sort of a domestic maybe but its even worth popping to the local station,the community officer maybe able to offer advice.
Not a real fan of the law,but theyre have a duty to protect etc so why not avail of your tax paying euros.

Overheal

IneedHelp wrote: »

Hi folks i am a regular poster but for what will become obvious reasons i am posting anonymously. To make a long story easier to read we have the players in the story as below

A=My girlfriend

C=Her mother

Now a and c have had their differences the last while but things have gotten really bad between them. I wont go into details as it is not my place to say. A practically lives with me because of this and c thinks this is MY fault and i am the reason a doesnt go "home" anymore. Nothing to do with the fact c is a serious alcoholic of course! Anyway c has a boyfriend who she regularly hits and as a matter of fact i heard c tried to stab him just a few nights ago!

Anyway a (my gf) was in mine the other night and c kept trying to ring, they had had a big row the night beforehand and c was trying to ring to get in the good books again (this is far from unusual) and a was having none of it. Then c sent various messages even threatening me saying she would have me killed. I laughed it off but like 30 mins later c arrives at my door and starts roaring the odds. My gf didnt wanna go near her so i went to my front door and told c where she could go as a didnt wanna see nor speak to her.

Now c starts roaring at me like i had my gf tied up inside and proceeds to hit,slap and punch me repeatedly about the face. Now i do some doorwork (bouncing) in my spare time so i can well handle this but i did nothing as after the first hit i raised my hands and she started screamin i had hit HER! Now even my gf saw her hittin me and i took pictures as proof in case i decided to go legal with it.

I think i needed to vent a bit but please give opinions also, Thanks

These are the sexist psycopaths we all fear, using their gender for gain. Just take it to the cops and have her charged with attempted murder: trying to stab your one the other night then rushing over to your house to attack you: she is unstable and needs to be detained.

Talliesin

If your gf wanted to keep channels with your mother then it'd be a tricky one.

As she seems not to, just call the cops, have her charged and have her banned from coming anywhere near to your home.

Trapattoni

Jesus, Thats rough - I'd definitely report it but wait and see what else happens..unless of course you think the next move could be fatal-reoprt it anyway and best of luck

Das Kitty

How old is your girlfriend?

Marksie

Report it and talk to your girlfriend about how you want to proceed. If it was a random person you would know immediately what to do, of course the complicating issue is teh family "tie"

So its best to include the g/friend in any decision you make

Sherifu

You should go to the guards with your girlfriend and at least have it on record.

milkerman

Tell your GF you will be reporting her mother for assault & get an incident number & make sure the Gardai pursue the matter.
I feel really sorry for your GF, she must be in bits over this. Perhaps she should think of getting her own place and cutting all ties with mum.

RedXIV

make sure the local cops know, if for nothing else, if she tries anything similar again the cops realise that she's at fault here.

I'd suggest cutting ties too with the mother

LegacyUser

Hi all, thanks firstly for the help

I cant go to the cops( well i can but it goes against my political beliefs) as i live on the "sterling" side of Ireland

I have told my gf that i want nothing to do with her mother and if i see her i may very well snap

My gf has been understanding but tbh i am starting to think she is gonna side with her mother (though she says otherwise) might just be a bad feelin

I am filled with anger and find myself daily thinking about going to her mothers house and doing something!!

Sherifu

Don't go anywhere near her mother's house. It would only make things a lot worse. If your gf sides with her mother there's only one thing I would do. End it.

Andy-Pandy

IneedHelp wrote: »

I cant go to the cops( well i can but it goes against my political beliefs) as i live on the "sterling" side of Ireland

Thats moronic!!

Marksie

IneedHelp wrote: »

I cant go to the cops( well i can but it goes against my political beliefs) as i live on the "sterling" side of Ireland

So you cannot go to the police on a civil matter because of "political beliefs".

Rubbish.

I am going to check with the moderators of the time machine forum to see if this has dropped in from 30 years ago.

IneedHelp wrote: »

I have told my gf that i want nothing to do with her mother and if i see her i may very well snap

Fair enough, step away and keep well out of harms way

IneedHelp wrote: »

My gf has been understanding but tbh i am starting to think she is gonna side with her mother (though she says otherwise) might just be a bad feelin

You dont know so dont guess. If it looks likely then you ahve to decide whether to push it, run with it or walk

IneedHelp wrote: »

I am filled with anger and find myself daily thinking about going to her mothers house and doing something!!

Now that, as you well knwo would be a disaster.

At teh very least you will be visited by the police..or perhaps you may get visited by people sharing your own political belief system. which has a certain sense of irony don't you think?

watna

IneedHelp wrote: »

I cant go to the cops( well i can but it goes against my political beliefs) as i live on the "sterling" side of Ireland

!

I'm sorry, but this is ridiculous. Either you want help or you don't. Marksie is right, what year are you living in?

If you refuse to go the the police then I don't think any of us can help you any more.

RedXIV

stunningly hard as it may be to believe but the cops are supposed to help you. they are public servents and not only that, they have information that can help you in this situation. not involving the cops is probably the worst thing you could do

Davidth88

I don't normally reply to PI ones but

I cant go to the cops( well i can but it goes against my political beliefs) as i live on the "sterling" side of Ireland

Moron.

You can be sure as hell she would go to the Police , so you need to get over your out dated beliefs and get in there.

I am actually shocked and saddened this can be a reaction to the police up there still

Marksie

Davidth88: yep i can see you dont reply in PI. We have a policy on direct personal abuse.

warned and infracted

Overheal

IneedHelp wrote: »

Hi all, thanks firstly for the help

I cant go to the cops( well i can but it goes against my political beliefs) as i live on the "sterling" side of Ireland

I have told my gf that i want nothing to do with her mother and if i see her i may very well snap

My gf has been understanding but tbh i am starting to think she is gonna side with her mother (though she says otherwise) might just be a bad feelin

I am filled with anger and find myself daily thinking about going to her mothers house and doing something!!

Do you own one of those fancy Northern Irish DeLoreans too? Pfft. Drive back to 1978, or call the cops. I can understand the hesitation though.

LegacyUser

Lads this is seriously messed up. I come here lookin for help and get abuse due to my beliefs and not only that but even a mod givin me ****é over it?

Sherifu

IneedHelp wrote: »

Lads this is seriously messed up. I come here lookin for help and get abuse due to my beliefs and not only that but even a mod givin me ****é over it?

Your beliefs are messed up. Are you going to go to the police or what?

ashy28

You & the girlfriend move to another country.... Thats the only solution that I can think of that doesnt involve the police.

Either you go to the police yourself or you do something silly & they will come to you.

Dont drop to the mothers level & use violence to solve a problem, it will only end in tears & doesnt achieve anything.

Dashticle

Das Kitty wrote: »

How old is your girlfriend?

Wondering this also. Thinking she must be fairly young, otherwise why would her mother bug out so much? I would have thought an abusive alcoholic mother would be glad to have their daughter ready to fly the coop.

LegacyUser

Dashticle wrote: »

Wondering this also. Thinking she must be fairly young, otherwise why would her mother bug out so much? I would have thought an abusive alcoholic mother would be glad to have their daughter ready to fly the coop.

Sorry daskitty my gf is 22 i am 25

Esel

Speak to a solicitor if you won't go to the police.

RedXIV

My dad's a cop, as a result, i know loads of them in my hometown. And i can't imagine any of them being less than helpful to anyone who is getting harrassed like this. OP you may have beliefs that the cops aren't going to help but at the end of the day, THEY have the power to arrest people, THEY have the obligation to help people and THEY are here to enforce the laws of civilisation. Your view is like refusing to use a parachute out of a falling airplane because you don't believe in them. If you don't bring the cops into this, someone else will which immediately will put you down as the problem

I'm not trying to hand abuse or knock how people think, i'm trying to help. i want you to understand that the best move here is inform the cops