Discovered ladies underwear in my bf's wardrobe.

LegacyUser

Ok here's the gist of it. Last night while my bf was working I decided to tidy his wardrobe for him as it was very untidy! We don't live together but often stay over at each others houses. We are in a long term relationship. At the bottom of his wardrobe I found two pairs of ladies panties (definately not mine!) Straight away the colour drained from my face. These panties looked to be lurking at the bottom of his wardrobe for soom time as they were dusty. Also there seemed to be sperm stains on them suggesting to me that he wore these while masturbating? I really don't think they were left there by some random girls he brought home as he shares a house with a friend of mine and I've no reason not to trust him in that regard. What I'm confused over is, is it normal behaviour for guys to possess ladies knickers?? Does it show signs of homosexuality? Is it perverted? I really don't know what to think. I just can't get it out of my head and don't want to confront him on it yet if ever. Please advise me as I'm really confused. Thanks all for reading and hopefully posting replies.

Victor

I don't think it indicates a whole lot.

Sherifu

Ask him. If they're dusty they could have been in the room before he moved in.

Ickle Magoo

Fancying someone of the opposite sex is generally a pre-requisite to homosexuality. I think wearing womens knickers, masturbating into womens knickers or owning a pair of someone else's knickers are not necessarily an expression of sexuality.

Who's pants are they? Do you know they are not yours? That they didn't have a previous female owner? That they haven't been lurking at the bottom of his wardrobe for years? Why jump straight to cross-dressing & homosexuality?

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

Plenty of crossdressers/tranvestites are straight - a lot of them are even married.

The fact that there wasn't a lot more of the stuff hidden away that had been more recently 'used' indicates that this is not something to be worried about. Think how you'd feel if you'd found a suitcase full of newer stuff.

LegacyUser

My boyfriend has being living in this house for 10 years. So I don't think they were there before now. I'd absolutely die asking him about them!! They are definately not mine I checked the size, both are different sizes. I really don't know why i questioned his sexuality over this (never showed any other inclination to homosexuality before). I think it was just cross dressing/drag sprung into my mind. I know this is very silly of me but I really am so confused. Do lads tend to like dressing in ladies underwear???

echosound

Sherifu wrote: »

Ask him. If they're dusty they could have been in the room before he moved in.

Agreed. Firstly - ask him, why wouldn't you consider this an option? If you've been tidying out his wardrobe, and he knows they are there, he'll know you saw them anyway. I don't see what the big deal is in asking him about them. If it were me, I'd just come straight out and mention that you found them there, see what he says.

secondly - there could be any number of reasons why they are there - is it a rented house? could they have been left behind by a previous tenant, or owner?Bit gross but it has happened (I've lived in rented houses and the things you can find in various nooks are strange, to say the least!). Bit euw that he didn't move them,but if he's not the observant type he probably just threw his own clothes in when he moved in and didn't spot them.

Could they be from a previous GF? I don't mean that he might be hanging onto them as some sort of pervy sentimentality, but I have found the odd few bits and bobs belonging to my OH's ex long after they split up (including the odd sock, an old book, a tshirt or whatnot) that she accidentally left behind, just overlooked and forgotten in little-used nooks, and thrown out upon discovery.No biggie, like.Certainly didn't lead me to decide he was a women's knicker-wearing perv jerking off into said garments.

Also - does anyone stay over in his house while he is at yours? Again, if it's a shared house, there could be the possibility that someone used his room to crash after a party etc, and that could explain the errant knickers.

Just ask him though, no point surmising until you do.

Nevyn

Could be they belonged to former partnrs, some people like to have keepsakes.

smiler26

Why don't you just ask him?

And, also why were you cleaning "rooting through" his wardrobe anyway

LegacyUser

I honestly wasn't snooping i was really just killing time till he came home from work and decided to tidy his wardrobe for him as it was extremely messy! Thanks for the replies. I'll have to build up the courage to ask him about it I'm really bad with confrontation! It probably is nothing, hopefully!!

lorweld

It needn't be confrontatioal when you ask him, just jokingly ask him about them. I really wouldn't worry about it. You just got a shock, but i'm sure there is a perfectly reasonable explaination!! Good luck!

yawnstretch

I say theyre relics/keepsakes from old relationships from the way you've described it. If you go through people's private stuff you'll find weird things simple as.

Wouldnt worry about it.

Dave!

It's more likely that he used them to enhance the whole masturbation thing, rather than he was wearing them. Ever thought of that? Maybe he was smelling them and/or wrapping them round the old schlong.

Probs from an ex girlfriend or some girl he was with before who left them there.

I wouldn't be too concerned to be honest. Just my opinion though.

echosound

You don't need to work up courage as it shouldn't really be a confrontation unless you go in guns blazing making accusations!

Just grin and mention that you found a pair of knickers in his wardrobe, and ask him what they're doing there, make a joke out of it if it makes you feel more comfortable.

humanji

I'd say there's nothing to warry about, really. I'd say it's either from a previous girlfriend and he forgot they were there, or maybe it could be that at some point he wore them himself, masturbated in them as you seem to indicate and that was it. He may of just been experimeting (as creepy as that sounds, it's not really that bad). Since they were dusty then it shows that he hadn't gone back to them, so either he moved on and forgot about them, or he didn't know they were there. I say ignore them completely. There's no reason to embarrass to two of you.

Overheal

v. confused wrote: »

Ok here's the gist of it. Last night while my bf was working I decided to tidy his wardrobe for him as it was very untidy! We don't live together but often stay over at each others houses. We are in a long term relationship. At the bottom of his wardrobe I found two pairs of ladies panties (definately not mine!) Straight away the colour drained from my face. These panties looked to be lurking at the bottom of his wardrobe for soom time as they were dusty. Also there seemed to be sperm stains on them suggesting to me that he wore these while masturbating? I really don't think they were left there by some random girls he brought home as he shares a house with a friend of mine and I've no reason not to trust him in that regard. What I'm confused over is, is it normal behaviour for guys to possess ladies knickers?? Does it show signs of homosexuality? Is it perverted? I really don't know what to think. I just can't get it out of my head and don't want to confront him on it yet if ever. Please advise me as I'm really confused. Thanks all for reading and hopefully posting replies.

they could have been ancient. I cant remember the last time I saw the bottom of my sock drawer.

I can attest my brother (used to) keep a drawer full of them: he was a young teenage philanthropist, and they were his trophies :rolleyes:

Its entirely possible they belonged to an ex-girlfriend(s) and he has long forgotten about them.

RedXIV

If its any good to you, i've amassed a collection of bras from a series of rag weeks in college? me and my mate used to have a competition to see who could get the most. can't explain the semen stains mind you but there's an angle no one mentioned. he could be just acting the bollox in the past

daiixi

You should have just chucked them into his washing. That way he'd know you found them and there'd be no need to "confront" him about it. If you can't talk to your boyfriend you shouldn't really be in a relationship with him.

spinandscribble

daiixi wrote: »

You should have just chucked them into his washing. That way he'd know you found them and there'd be no need to "confront" him about it. If you can't talk to your boyfriend you shouldn't really be in a relationship with him.

not say anything? that would just make him think she didnt care and start collecting more

op i dont knlow why your here you need to just ask him.

Wishbone Ash

v. confused wrote: »

I'll have to build up the courage to ask him about it I'm really bad with confrontation! It probably is nothing, hopefully!!

You could just leave them where they are visible and put the ball in his court.

I think you are making a moutain out of a molehill though.

echosound wrote: »

is it a rented house? could they have been left behind by a previous tenant, or owner?Bit gross but it has happened (I've lived in rented houses and the things you can find in various nooks are strange, to say the least!)

I rented a room for 8 years. There was a huge heavy wardrobe in it. I moved the wardrobe one day after about 6 years living there and found a pair of knickers :eek: and a half crown!

seraphimvc

OP,calm down,think.they are just woman panties ,what's the big deal?but this is weird,so?dont guess into something bad and panic.just ask him what is that for.

Relationship is about trust and understanding ya?

LegacyUser

Dont worry about it...Some men get off on wearing womens underwear..
Wont be easy....But talk about it

daiixi

spinandscribble wrote: »

not say anything? that would just make him think she didnt care and start collecting more

op i dont knlow why your here you need to just ask him.

So what? I don't see why she cares in the first place. It's not like he's collecting something illegal, who cares what he keeps in his closet?

spinandscribble

daiixi wrote: »

So what? I don't see why she cares in the first place. It's not like he's collecting something illegal, who cares what he keeps in his closet?

i think the concern is its a 'recent' collection, ie. SINCE they started dating. it seems to be an old pair anyway but just to put her mind at ease like.

my mom found an old pair of mens underwear in my room once. she went to my bf to give it to him, it wasnt his and she kept bugging him to consider who's it could be. shes a bitch. anyway he just assumed they were there when i moved in a year b4. it happens op

Buzz Buzz

Hey OP,

Before I was in my last long term relationship I had quite a few one night stands.. as I'd try and sneak out of their house, I'd steal their knickers for the craic! Purely just as trophies... needless to say they all ended up at the botton of the wardrobe.. untouched for months etc.. So one afternoon my girlfriend was sorting through my stuff and found a couple of pairs I had forgotten about.. she freaked initially thinking I was cheating.. but I explained the situation to her.. I wont say it was all good (I mean, how good can a conversation be with your girlfriend explaining that your a 'knicker thief'), but it was a reasonable explanation and I was'nt cheating on her..

And just to throw it in.. I have two friends who admit enjoying sniffing knickers, they find it a huge turn on.. your boyfriend could be into that also.

daiixi

spinandscribble wrote: »

i think the concern is its a 'recent' collection, ie. SINCE they started dating. it seems to be an old pair anyway but just to put her mind at ease like.

The OP said they looked like they'd been there for a considerable amount of time and were all dusty so no, the concern is not that they're a recent collection but that the boyfriend may have homosexual or cross dressing tendancies. Noone here can help the OP out. If she is not able to openly talk to her boyfriend about them then she has bigger issues in her relationship than two pairs of dusty knickers. ESPECIALLY when the boyfriend knows she cleaned out his closet and hasn't mentioned the dusty knickers to her.

aidan24326

v. confused wrote: »

Ok here's the gist of it. Last night while my bf was working I decided to tidy his wardrobe for him as it was very untidy! We don't live together but often stay over at each others houses. We are in a long term relationship. At the bottom of his wardrobe I found two pairs of ladies panties (definately not mine!) Straight away the colour drained from my face. These panties looked to be lurking at the bottom of his wardrobe for soom time as they were dusty. Also there seemed to be sperm stains on them suggesting to me that he wore these while masturbating? I really don't think they were left there by some random girls he brought home as he shares a house with a friend of mine and I've no reason not to trust him in that regard. What I'm confused over is, is it normal behaviour for guys to possess ladies knickers?? Does it show signs of homosexuality? Is it perverted? I really don't know what to think. I just can't get it out of my head and don't want to confront him on it yet if ever. Please advise me as I'm really confused. Thanks all for reading and hopefully posting replies.

Since they were dusty at the bottom of wardrobe they obviously haven't been used in a while. Could belong to an ex or something. He may have used them in the past to masturbate (not unusual) and probably never actually wore them. You mention no other evidence that he's a crossdresser so that is unlikely.

Ask him about it casually but there's really no need for confrontation. It all sounds pretty harmless.

King of Kings

he could have been using them to whack off. hardly a hanging offense.
he mighn't even have worn them or cheated on you

you would want to be very silly to leave stuff like that lying aorund if he was cheating. If he was cheating i'd imagine the room would be sanitised very regularly and you would defo not find anything.

Talliesin

From the evidence I would say that this indicates that your boyfriend probably likes women.

If you were a gay man, then there might perhaps be something to worry about in those heterosexual tendencies.

The Corinthian

A few years ago my then girlfriend was getting dressed in my bedroom and couldn't find her bra. I began to search behind the bed and sure enough I found a bra that I pulled out and offered to her - only to find that she had found her bra elsewhere and was in the process of putting it on. An awkward moment followed.

My guess is that it had belonged to a former girlfriend or fling and had fallen behind the bed until the day I pulled it at just the wrong moment. To add insult to injury the owner of he bra I discovered had bigger boobs. If it indicated anything it was that it was fair evidence that I was a bit of a slob.

I suggest the OP ask her boyfriend. Perhaps they're a souvenir, a fetish item or simply an example of untidiness. Jumping to conclusions that your boyfriend is homosexual though is just plain bizarre.

Mr. Incognito

Probably old conquests. no big deal.

milkerman

Old trophies most likely. I wouldnt worry.
You are likely to find all sorts when you go rooting through a mans drawers. Your BF is old enough to manage his own wardrobe, I hate it when my wife decides to 'organise' my stuff. I can never find anything after her.
Would you let him 'organise' your wardrobe, or indeed root through your drawers? If he did it without telling you would you be happy?
Ask him about it if you want. Dont presume him to be a cross-dresser just because you found old knickers in his press.

Mr. Presentable

Maybe his mother and sister stayed there for a few days once. And they're really sloppy too. He sounds like a slob - why would he leave them there so long, and if they're in the bottom of a wardrobe how'd they get so dusty?

SarahJ

v. confused wrote: »

I'd absolutely die asking him about them!!

If you can't ask him bout them, how are you in a relationship? you need to be able to discuss anything

Fauldy Banny

A mate of mine was a bit of a whore for the women. He used to have lots of one night stands and he used to hide the knickers behind the radiator.
The next morning she wouldn't spend to much time looking for them and feck off.

He would then use them for a 'sniff' while **** during the week.
He counted 12 pairs of knickers one evening I was there, no joke. He's married now so I don't know what he does for his 'sniffs' these days.

Niamho!

Thaedydal wrote: »

Could be they belonged to former partnrs, some people like to have keepsakes.

Yeah. this was my immediate thought.
i'd imagine this is what it is. he probably put them there years ago as someone said like a Keepsake type thing. and he's probably just forgotten they were there.

kayos

I just had to reply to this one......they could be there for many reasons so dont jump to conslusions.

Hell I had a letter waiting for me one evening many years ago when I got home from work. I opened it up to have a pair of ladies underwear fall out, as chance would have it in front of the land lord. Not a freakin scoobie as to why, who etc etc had sent them. I found out later it was a mates gf who sent them.

God knows where they are now....I think I could have given them to her BF at the time or maybe it was one of the pairs you found?

nevaeh-2die-4

did u sniff them?

LegacyUser

Possible that your boyfriend enjoys wearng womens panties without other items of clothing. Quite common. Checking the sizes against him should give you an idea if that is the case.

If you find it hard to confront him then do as two previous postes said:- either leave them where he will see them or put them in his washing. He will then know that you know and he is the one who will have to open the conversation.

In any event I wouldn't worry too much about. It is quite common, more common than most people admit, and is more a feature of heterosexual rather than homosexual guys.

Marksie

nevaeh-2die-4: off topic unhelfpul posting will get you banned from this forum. Warned and infracted